by Jules Smith
“I’ve seen it before.”
“Yes Mommy, but it’s my favourite film and I thought I’d come and cheer you up.”
I loved how he thought cheering me up involved doing something that he wanted to do.
“Well, if you like…” I guessed a bit of Brad Pitt wouldn’t hurt and it was a cracking movie. Plus it was rather relevant since I’d been in my own little fight club all day. As the film came to play I went back to my game for a second.
SOPHISTICATION: I am. Really. Let’s arrange something.
THE VOICE: Well there’s no time like the present.
What? Did he mean right now?
“Mum! Put your game down. The film’s starting. This is about spending quality time with your son.”
SOPHISTICATION: I can’t now. I’m watching a film.
“MUM! Put it down or I’ll take it off you.”
I put it down. I’d go back to him when the film finished. Maybe we could talk then. I spent the next two and a half hours curled next to my boy who was trying to make amends for his earlier outburst in his own sweet way.
Brendon went to bed as the credits came up on the TV and I went to the kitchen to make a drink. I took my phone and clicked on my game.
THE VOICE: Wow. You’re. Watching. A. Film.
Whoa. What was that supposed to mean? Slightly unfriendly. I hadn’t called him an arsehole for a long time but he was heading back in that direction. That actually hurt my feelings.
SOPHISTICATION: Yes I was. But it’s finished now.
Let’s see if he suggests a call now.
THE VOICE: Well I hope you enjoyed it.
Jesus. What’s this all about?
SOPHISTICATION: Yes I did thank you. Did I do something to upset you?
THE VOICE: Well most people would pause a movie to talk to their friends. I’m sure you must have a remote that facilitates that.
Really? Why was he being so cutting?
SOPHISTICATION: Well I was watching it with my son.
THE VOICE: Well I hope he enjoyed it.
SOPHISTICATION: Yes. He did thank you.
Clearly I’d totally racked him off without even trying, just because I wasn’t able to talk precisely when he wanted to. But I couldn’t. Welcome to Aspergers. He didn’t know that, but maybe he should be a little more mindful that others lives weren’t necessarily as easy.
THE VOICE: Good.
That was it? Good? I was so upset and annoyed. In fact, I felt cyber violated. Why was everyone being so mean to me today?
I threw my phone across the settee and thought about Karl and The Voice and the demands that Fothergill had put into place. I couldn’t please anyone, no matter what I tried to do for the best. Everyone had their own bloody agendas. I pulled at the newly formed ladder in my tights and watched as it crept up my leg and the fine, denier strands became taught against my exposed flesh.
Chapter 19
Within ten days of selling on the online marketplace I’d had my eBay account barred. Clearly I wasn’t cut out to become an eBay millionaire. Being naive to this arena I had put some of my clothes on there without a reserve price because I didn’t know what that was. I was already finding the efforts of listing stuff a massive time sink and wondering how the hell anyone made money from it. I’d sold a Calvin Klein skirt, a Karen Millen dress and a Coach jacket for £3.00.
Your eBay items have sold! Speciallady72 has paid and items need to be shipped.
Err, no they don’t, I thought. Are you kidding me? £3.00. That lot alone had set me back in excess of £600.00 and she wanted it all for £3.00? Pfft! I’d rather give it to charity or my daughter than sell it for that! I found that I could send a message to the buyer and decided to tell her that the deal was off. Surely she’d expect that anyway.
EBay message to Speciallady72 -from Sophistication04: Sorry but I’ve changed my mind about the sale and I’ve sent you a paypal refund. Cheers.:)
Speciallady72- You are bound by the trading standard to honour the sale. Please notify so I can pay again as I won those items.
Sophistication04 – No can do – they’re too expensive to go for £3.00 and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Sorry.
Speciallady72 – Then I will have to report you for unfair trading. That’s bad practice.
Sophistication04 – Knock yourself out. Sorry.
Report me to whom? What were they going to do, arrest me? Instead they barred my account. Awesome.
Apart from screwing up eBay I’d managed to make a brilliant shopping budget and save loads of money on other things. I’d seen a TV talk show one morning with an MP on there saying that people could save an awful lot of money by visiting all the supermarkets and bagging their BOGOF offers. I was sure he didn’t have to do that but I decided to give it a go. I’d visited Morrisons, Asda, Sainsburys and Tesco and kept myself strictly to the end of aisle offers. I had more cous cous than Ainsley Harriott and enough beans and Colgate sensitive toothpaste to get us up to Christmas.
I’d had three people look at my car and was sure one of those was going to buy it as they kept coming back to look it over with an endless supply of relatives, which was always a good sign. Colin had accepted my resignation with a heavy heart and I’d been spending the last two weeks at work being told that I could change my mind at anytime. I’d been close on several occasions. Johnno in particular, had made me want to kill myself. He kept leaving sticky notes on my desk with little messages or an occasional chocolate or love heart sweets saying ‘Miss you’ or ‘Don’t leave me’ it was hilarious but heart wrenching. His latest move did have me reconsidering big time.
“If you stay at work I promise to get you a date with Frank Lampard,” he said seriously.
“LOL! Really Johnno? What about his girlfriend, she may not be too pleased.”
“I’ll find a way, I mean it.” I had to chuckle at his candour.
Colin had been brilliant and had rang around various publications and such getting me an ‘in’ on the freelance list and bigging me up to everyone he knew. I’d already started to get assignments and also some PR work for a company and that was before I’d legitimately left my current role. I knew I was going to make it and I hoped it was going to be worth the sacrifice.
I sat at my desk and looked around surveying the whole office. I wanted to take it all in so I could remember the atmosphere when I was no longer here: Monica was studying something intently on her computer screen and sucking a pen. She always had a pen in her mouth. The entertainment girls sat in a huddle discussing nightlife dressed for a party at any given minute. Johnno was on the phone, his desk covered in sports regalia and his Adidas bag, full of kit, at his side. I hoped Bryony ended up with someone like him. He was such a lovely lad.
I picked up one of the jelly beans that Johnno had left as today’s present and clicked on my word game for the millionth time. The Voice hadn’t responded to me since I’d not taken him up on the phone call. He’d played two goes, storming words, but had left no message. He hadn’t, however taken a turn in the last four days. I was on the verge of heartbreak. I couldn’t explain it but that’s how it felt. Like I’d been dumped. I couldn’t play until he did and I felt like he was holding me ransom. I just wanted him to talk to me. I’d left a message a couple of days ago in the chat bubble.
SOPHISTICATION: It’s your go…
Nothing. No play. No response. I decided to send another. Maybe he wasn’t well or something. I should be nicer.
SOPHISTICATION: Hey, are you alright? I hope so.
There, that was nice. I clicked it off and felt a sense of woe.
It was getting on for 4pm and I was leaving early as Colin and I were going to the World Service restaurant tonight. I felt privileged to be taken as his guest as it was a beautiful place set in a 17th century building and it would be a nice way to end our working relationship. Well, from a full time point of view. I went to his office to see him about the arrangements. He was standing up, analysing something on his
computer, deep in thought.
“Colin..?” I snapped him out of his reverie.
“Yes babe. What’s up?”
“What time shall I meet you tonight?”
“Starts at 6.30pm so how about 6pm at the Slug and Lettuce?”
“Yeah, that’s great. I’ll see you later.” I slipped out and left him to his work.
When I arrived home and entered the hallway, I heard Brendon on his mobile to someone.
“You’re a dickhead and if you don’t sort it out I will never talk to you again. You’re a fucking waste man.” He ended the call and looked as angry as hell.
“Who are you talking to?”
“Luke. Shithead,” he snapped.
“You really don’t have to swear all the time you know. You are quite capable of stringing a sentence together without profanity. You’re not a complete reprobate.”
“I’m an articulate reprobate, Mother.”
“What’s he done to upset you?” I asked carefully. Usually he’d tell me everything. Often things I didn’t want to know and information that teenage boys should keep to themselves. I never knew if he did it for the shock factor or because it was how he was.
“He’s put two things up for sale on eBay that he didn’t even have. Anyway, a couple of kids have bought them and he’s taken the money but obviously not sent the goods because they don’t exist. You can’t fucking do that to people.”
“That’s terrible. I hope he’s going to give them the money back,” I said somewhat concerned.
“Well I’m not talking to him unless he does and I want proof that he’s done it. If he doesn’t I’m going to smack him one.”
Brendon had a very keen sense of right and wrong which was amazing since he couldn’t apply it to himself. He was often in trouble around school for interfering in fights or stopping teachers from shouting at pupils. He was like a real life vigilante: Judge, jury and executioner. He would have made the perfect Judge Dredd.
“You can’t hit people and I know you won’t,” I said, “but he should not be being fraudulent to people.” I considered my own misdemeanour on eBay but at least I’d refunded the special lady.
“Yeah, but he doesn’t need to know that and I feel like punching him.”
His phone beeped and he looked down at another message. “Ugh..” He said out loud to it. “Are all girls this needy? I’m sick of getting constant texts, it’s pissing me off.”
“Yes, Brendon they are, especially if they like you. Get used to it and be nice. She’s a lovely girl and you’re very lucky.”
I went upstairs and jumped in the shower ready to go on my evening junket. I chose a simple black dress from Whistles that was always a winner and one of the few things that hadn’t made it to my eBay pile. I called a taxi and waited for it with a nice glass of wine as I changed over handbags. I walked round in bare stockinged feet until the taxi arrived as my black court shoes were going to kill me, I knew it. Thank God I’d be mostly sitting down.
I shouted goodbye to the kids and added a “And do not ring me unless it’s absolutely necessary Brendon! I’m out with my boss and I’ll be back when I’m back!”
The Slug and Lettuce was relatively busy but I spotted Colin in an instant. He had that edgy style that just set him apart from everyday people. He was wearing a dark, navy Paul Smith suit and Pale blue shirt. He looked effortlessly classic.
“You look great!” I grinned, “that really brings your eye colour out.”
“Thanks Soph, and back at ya! I got you a vodka and coke..You still drink that right?”
“I’ll drink anything Colin. And yes I do. Thanks!” I’d not had a vodka and coke for ages and I made a mental note to rectify that.
We talked about work for a while and then had to hurry to the restaurant.
There were a few people I recognised on the guest list when we arrived- Paul Hymes being one of them. He came straight over to Colin and shook his hand and planted a kiss on mine when I went to shake it. I wiped it off on the side of my dress as soon as he let go and focussed his attention on my boss.
We got seated at a nice table near the window and got ready for our food. It was a pre-set three course meal to sample their new menu.
Almond flaked prawns, chilled garlic and almond puree, compressed grapes.
Derbyshire filet of beef, World Service béarnaise, crispy onion, goose fat chips.
Yoghurt foam, pumpkin seeds, sour cherry sorbet and/or an assiette of desserts for two.
A bottle of house red and white wine were already on the table. I hit the red instantly. I was going to make the most of this meal as this kind of thing was now decadence to me and would serve to be a memory of the good old days.
The food was outstanding as was the service and I loved it in this place. Colin and I got through the wine with ease and ordered another bottle. We spent the evening chatting and laughing about all sorts of things from the boring to the ridiculous. We even explored my phone box idea a little further and how we could set it up. It got more absurd the more we drank but we talked about it like it was a new and exciting venture.
“Shall we have some champagne?” Colin asked, as he poured the last of the wine into our glasses. I was already feeling warm and tingly which didn’t help with my ability to say no.
“Oh, go on then,” I said with a big grin, “So how’s Trudie?”
“Soph! I was having a really good night ‘till then!”
I started giggling. “Sorry.”
“Meh. She’s been encouraged to move on.”
“Colin! We need to find you the right woman. They’re always amazing anyway so what is it that’s missing?”
“He leant forward, elbow on the table and a finger on his lips as he pretended to ponder this question. “Hmmm…” he looked at me across the table. “The X factor.”
I laughed. “Ok Simon Cowell, and what IS your X factor?”
He looked at me very seriously for a few seconds. I wondered if I’d upset him a little by asking too many personal questions. I really shouldn’t drink so much.
“It’s an unquantifiable thing Soph. Let’s go and research it. Come on! Let’s go to the office with this champers and watch a film and make plans for phone boxes and figure out the X factor! I need to get out of here now.” He picked up the bottle and made his way to say thank you to the owner.
I sat there surprised. Well OK then. Colin was obviously as tipsy as me!
We made our way down the street, arms linked and laughing at our own stupidity. We got to the office and through the glass doors.
“What’s the alarm, Soph?”
“What? Err… 2, 0, 4, 9…” it took me a while to remember. “You should know that Colin!”
“I do. I just want to make sure you’re awake.” He giggled as he punched in the numbers and we went through the office doors. It seemed weird to see it all dark and quiet. I followed Colin through to his office and he put the wall lights on.
“Music!” he said out loud to himself as he opened iTunes on his computer. “Go get glasses Soph, we have the world to save!”
I went to the kitchen and looked for glasses. I couldn’t find them so I got two mugs instead.
“Mugs?! You philistine, Sophie Rhodes!” Colin went to pour the champagne into them anyway as we stood at his desk. We lifted our mugs and knocked them together as The Kings of Leon played in the background.
“Here’s to..stuff..” I said.
“Stuff?! I can’t believe I let you write for me,” he smirked, “here’s to the mysteries of life, Sophie.”
I raised the mug to my mouth and took a great big mouthful of champagne. The bubbles exploded tenfold in my mouth and burst forth, spilling down my chin and onto my dress.
“Arrr…” I squealed, bending forward and trying to brush the fizzing liquid off my Whistles frock. My hair had fallen into my face and strands had stuck to my champagne lips. I felt Colin’s hand gently remove my hair and tuck it behind my ear. I looked up at him as he ver
y slowly took the mug from my hand and put it on the desk, not once taking his eyes from mine. His hand came to my face as he stepped closer and rubbed his thumb softly over my wet lips before he lowered his mouth onto mine.
Chapter 20
Colin’s hands cupped my face as he gently kissed me, slowly exploring my mouth. My head was spinning with a million fuzzy thoughts but I didn’t pull away from him. He broke away smoothly, his face still close to mine, his lips millimetres away as he looked down into my eyes. I was dizzy and breathless and didn’t know if it was the result of the wine or I was actually swooning. Maybe this was a bad idea. He was my boss. OK, soon to be ex boss but I’d still be working on and off for him. My head was saying stop but my body was screaming go for gold.
“Colin…I don’t think…”
“No. Don’t think,” he whispered, as he lowered his mouth to mine again. This time his kiss was harder. His hand travelled to the nape of my neck, twisting my hair between his fingers. He pulled firmly on my tousled locks forcing my head back and pressing his mouth down with more passion; his tongue teased and sought out mine, probing and playful. I played back. I was lost in his kiss, becoming submissive to his need. His hand slowly slid down my stretched neck and over the veil like fabric of my dress and softly glanced over my breast. It was momentary, but I felt my body respond to his touch. My back arched slightly, pushing me into his solid abdomen, the yearning in the depths of my core building in waves of rampant desire. He released my hair and moved both hands gradually down my sides, following the contours of my body, over my hips where he held me firmly and pulled me closer to him. I felt him hard against me and my body pulsated with want. He gathered the fine material of my dress up to my hips. I felt the fabric tickle my outer thighs as it moved up over the fine denier of my ‘hold up’ stockings. Artful hands moved to the rear of my body and squeezed the round flesh of my buttocks. He buried his head into the curve of my neck as it met my shoulder, sucking and biting gently on my warm skin and lifted me up effortlessly, seating me on the edge of his desk, sweeping papers to the floor with no regard. He parted my knees and moved his body in-between me as he ran his palms up my stockinged legs, pausing where the sheer nylon met the soft naked flesh of my inner thighs. I felt my limbs begin to tremble as they gripped his hips and I slid my fingers just under the waistband of his trousers, moving them to meet together at the buckle of his belt which I started to undo with deliberate slowness.