by Shyla Colt
“What made you become an F.B.I agent, Vannah? That’s light years away from a grade school teacher.”
“You don’t know?” Hadn’t he been watching over them?
“I could only observe, and even then, not all the time. Think of it as watching movie previews. It wasn’t creepy in the way people make it seem in the movies. We don’t just hang around and follow you from room to room, watching you sleep.”
“Would you hate me if I said that was good to know?” She cringed.
He laughed. “No. You’re the same girl who thought Santa was a pervert for knowing when you were sleeping and awake. Because it led to the question, ‘Is he spying on you when you were in the shower and getting dressed’.”
“What? It was a valid question.” She took a right on Fifth and headed toward Main Street, passing their old middle school.
Clark snorted but held his peace.
“I guess it was my response to what happened. I needed to do something that would make a difference for other victims like me. I thought of going into counseling at first. It’s what led me to my psychology classes. In the end it didn’t seem hand- on enough. Plus, I felt like I’d be lying.” The trip down memory lane made her shift in her seat.
“Lying to whom?”
“The children I’d teach. Telling them the world was a safe place to venture out into when I knew different. Their wide-eyed innocence would have filleted me alive back then.”
“And now?”
Time to lay all the cards on the table. “Now I envy it.”
“You know it wasn’t your fault I didn’t escape.”
Air left her lungs in a whoosh. She pulled over a few yards from her house. Clenching her eyes shut, she rode out the tsunami of emotions. Pain, anger, relief, and guilt, pounded against her like ruthless rain. Gripping the wheel, blood rushed in her ears and her head grew light. She felt disconnected from her physical body. Could he see through to all the quiet thoughts and concerns she held close?
“H-how did you know?”
“Because I know you, Savannah West. You take everything on to yourself and find letting go damn near impossible. You’d bring up silly mistakes you’d made years ago growing up. How could you not do the same thing with this? I knew what I was risking when I used the momentum of my body to force you out of the trunk. I wouldn’t change it if I’d known how things would turn out. That was when my life was supposed to end.”
“Clark.” Her voice cracked.
“No, you need to hear this, Savannah. I love you. There is no greater gift than to lay down your life for a friend. You are my female counterpart to Carey. Without you things would never be right. Personally, I don’t think I’d have your strength. You dealt with this situation with dignity, and a quiet grace I never could’ve pulled off. That’s always been you though. You possess this superhuman ability to shoulder the weight of the world and still keep moving forward. It’s one of the things I love most about you.”
She swiped at the tears that obscured her vision. “Y-yes you could.” She turned her head to find his face wet with his sorrow-filled drops of saline. He leaned in and rested his forehead against hers. “You and Carey have to take care of each other now, Savannah. I couldn’t bear it if they got a hold of either of you. If I can set things right, I’ll walk away happy.”
“How can it ever be set right?” No matter what we accomplish here Clark will still leave.
“It’s already starting.”
“W-what do you mean?” Their whispered voices filled the quiet space. Time seemed to exist in a bubble.
“You and Carey reconciling.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why is that so important to you?”
“Because having the two people I love most in the world at odds was killing me. He makes you laugh… and remember. I always felt like when you left here you put me in a tidy box, swept under you bed, and only pulled out when my anniversary came back. I didn’t want to be that.”
“Clark, I think about you all the time.” Pulling away, she shook her head.
“Yes, but never the happy times. It’s always overshadowed by my death. I don’t want to be the cause of so much pain, not anymore.” He brought his hands up to stroke her hair. “No more hurting yourself on my account, Vannah, please.”
“I’m sorry.” Her body shook. “I had no idea—”
“I know. But now that you do I need a promise. You never renege on those.”
“What do you want me to promise?” I don’t like this.
“That you will battle your way to the place and time when thoughts of me make you smile, and add happiness and joy.” He delivered a shaky smile.
“Clark –”
“I know you don’t think you can do it, but you can. I have faith in you. The strength you possess is so much greater than you’ve ever realized. Hell, I think it kept me fed a time or two when I was at my lowest.” His hands stilled and he leaned back in, pressed his lips to hers. The kiss tasted like goodbye. “We can’t do this to ourselves anymore, Savannah. It’s time to let go of the missed opportunity.”
“Are you leaving?” Panic tensed her muscles. I’m not ready!
“Not until this is done. But I won’t make so free with you. It’s not right.” The words sliced through her, deflated the tiny balloon of hope that had begun to rise. He placed a finger on her lips. “It’s a lot to take in right now, I know. I think we both need space.” She wanted to grab onto him and beg him to stay. The open dialogue was freeing.
With him at her side, the gaping pit of pain, guilt, and a lifetime of memories felt surmountable. “Remember you promised, Vannah. No shutting down or going back to the way it was before. Lean on, Carey. He’s ready to be your rock.” He moved back. Covering her mouth with her hand she muffled the cry of protest that burst free when he disappeared.
I can’t go inside like this. A look in her rearview mirror told her she was a red-rimmed, puffy-nosed mess. A few cleansing breaths later she pulled out into traffic and headed toward the one person she knew would understand–Carey.
***
A knock came at the door. Carey frowned. He grabbed his gun from its holster. Took off the safety and walked toward the door. Though he’d never voiced his concern out loud he realized through him the killers had a second chance to complete their crime without the hang-ups. His steps were carefully measured and silent on the carpeted floor. With his back against the wall he leaned over and peered out the peephole.
The sight of Vannah worried and relieved him at the same time. He clicked the safety back into place, lowered the gun, and opened the door.
“What happened, Vannah?”
She stepped inside and wrapped her arms around her waist. He rubbed her arms.
“I saw Clark, and after that I-I couldn’t go home like this.” She gestured toward her swollen face with her hands. “They’d ask questions I couldn’t answer.”
“Are you okay? Is he?”
“No.” Her lower lip trembled. “Yes.”
“No, you aren’t okay or…” Carey shrugged, trying to read her. This was such a far departure from the woman he’d come to know. I have no clue how to approach her without getting my head bit off.
“I don’t even know what I am.”
“Okay.” He paused. “Why don’t we move to the couch and you can start at the beginning.” He placed a hand on the small of her back. Shut and locked the door and guided her to the couch.
“He showed up in the car. We talked about what happened the other night, made our peace. And he said… we couldn’t go there anymore.” Her words were skewed. barely discernible as she re-laid the story, pausing frequently to hold it together.
“I don’t.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Um. I’m not sure what to say to all that.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to say anything really. I just needed to tell someone. I know it had to happen. But I wasn’t ready. I never would have been. How do you prepare to have your heart ripped out? Being back
here makes everything seem fresh.”
“Is that really such a bad thing?” Carey whispered.
“Not anymore.” She sniffed.
“That’s good then… right?” He arched an eyebrow and she gave a shaky laugh.
“Yes.”
“So… no Hole in One?”
She threw her head back and laughed. A husky chuckle that made him re-distribute his weight on the couch. Now is not the time.
“No, I think we should, though I’m not dressed for it at all.”
“You’re fine, but you might want to … wash your face.” He circled his face with his hand.
“God! I probably look a fright.” She placed palms on her cheeks and stood. “I’ll go clean up. I’m a little dressy for Hole in One, but it’ll do.”
He couldn’t help but admire the high, firm ass highlighted by her black slacks when she walked off. Forcing his gaze up to the ceiling he counted to ten. Think cold shower, and calm oceans. If she comes back and sees I have a har- on she’s going to think I’m a total scum bag. Should’ve cleaned the pipes.
By the time she came back he had things under control.
“I’m ready.”
“Good, let’s go.” Before I embarrass myself.
Chapter Seven
Savannah pressed the cold glass of iced tea to her neck. It was a sweltering summer, and her parents’ air conditioner was on the fritz. Which chased her over to Carey’s while they worked on their case after hours. I wonder if Clark has something to do with that. The case had become an all-consuming driving force for both of them.
Frustrated by their inability to move forward they’d opted to take a break.
“When are your parents going to get the air fixed… not that I mind.” His gaze raked over her. “I like the view.”
“Flirt. I just spent the drive over here sweating like a pig. I doubt I’m much to look at.”
“Don’t underestimate your appeal.” The gravelly quality of his voice touched her in places long unattended. Clearing her throat, she attempted to refocus her attention on anything other than the sexy man who sat across from her in a white tank top and a pair of sweats. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t keep her gaze from his tats.
“Okay, I have to ask. What do the tattoos mean?”
“Aaah. The million dollar question.”
“Is it a secret?” Intrigued, she sat up straight.
“No, just personal.” Red appeared in his cheeks. “It’s a memorial.”
“That makes perfect sense. Why are you embarrassed?” She arched an eyebrow.
“It’s for the three of us… I sort of felt like we died with Clark.” He placed his hand on his arm. “The rose in the Rosary represents you.”
“I’m on your arm?” she whispered. Touched, she covered her mouth.
“I couldn’t do the piece without you. It didn’t feel right. When I first started work on this I knew I wanted us all on a rosary, connected despite everything that went down.”
“Carey.” Unable to find the right words, she shook her head.
“See, this is why I didn’t want to talk about it.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“What have you been telling people all this time?”
“That it’s a memorial tat for my twin brother. They don’t ask for more detail after that.”
“Am I the only one who knows?”
“Yeah.” His jaw was tensed. He refused to meet her gaze. Setting her drink on the table, she walked over to him and sank onto the arm of his chair. She traced the rosary that faded into the background of the brightly-colored, old school sailor designs that surrounded it. There were red stars, a red and blue swallow, and a set of dice.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
He tilted his head up. Their gazes locked.
“Want to hear something funny?”
“Sure.” He nodded, his voice equally soft.
Stepping back, she pulled up the hem of her tank top and lowered the top of her cutoff shorts. A delicate brown branch with three blossoms, black, red, and pink, graced the curve of her hip.
“For us?”
She nodded. A slow smile erased the pinched, austere expression he’d held moments earlier. He extended a finger and traced over the pattern. She sucked in a breath. A searing heat spread through her body. Her pulse kicked into overdrive and her muscles tensed. His finger crept lower, brushing the top of her shorts. Holding her breath in anticipation of more, she watched him through half closed lids.
“Savannah?” Raspy and uncertain, his question asked for permission.
“Y-yes.” The words were out before she could overthink them. His head dipped and his tongue shot out and caressed the path his digit had traced.
“Oh.” Her nipples hardened and her pussy grew moist. Years of neglect combined together to overthrow her objections. Desire exploded inside her like a bomb, superseding her common sense. Latching her fingers onto his shoulde,r she allowed her head to fall back, enjoying the feel of his mouth. He nipped her skin, moving across her waist. The stubble on his chin tickled where it grazed her delicate skin. He paused at her belly button and dipped his tongue inside. Her stomach muscles quivered, and her toes curled in her flip-flops. He pulled back, blowing on her wet skin.
“Carey.”The wobbly words made him look up.
“Do you want me to stop, Vannah?”
“N-no.”
Holding her stare, he brought his hand up and cupped her pussy. She gasped.
“Still okay?”
Unable to speak, she nodded. He began a massage.
“Oooh.” In need of relief from the pounding rhythm of need emitting from her core she spread her legs to allow him more room to play.
“That’s it, baby, open up for me.” Her legs trembled. The rough material pressed into her cleft. She rocked her hips against him. Needy mewls slipped from her mouth.
“It feels so good,” she moaned.
“Are you going to come for me, Vannah/”
“Y-yes.”
“Mmm. I can feel the heat from your pussy through your shorts. Are you going to let me taste you after I make you come?”
The erotic image of his head between her legs sent her hurtling up the precipice she’d climbed to at the speed of light.
The sound of a zipper being pulled down brought her back to the present. He parted the miniscule piece of fabric and worked it down her hip, stopping to kiss the new patch of skin revealed to his hungry gaze. Shoving the shorts to her ankles, he hovered in front of her moist center.
“I can smell how badly you want me, Vannah.” He ran his fingers along the side of her boy-cut black briefs, and she trembled. His finger slipped inside and caressed her swollen clit. She purred.
“I like that sound. I want to hear you make it again.” He circled her swollen nub a few more times and dipped into her entrance. “You’re so hot and tight.”
“Carey.” Whimpering, she begged him for release with her eyes.
“I always was a sucker for those eyes.” Removing his hand, he slipped his fingers into his mouth and moaned. “You’re delicious. I think I need a better taste.”
He pushed down her underwear and latched his mouth onto her pussy in one swift swoop.
“Oh God!”
Sucking her clit into his mouth, he hummed, inserting a finger, and began to thrust. She buried her fingers into his soft hair and writhed. The pressure began to build. Her walls quivered. He pulled away.
“No!”
“I want to be inside you when you come. Buried so deep neither of us can remember all the fucked-up shit going on around us.”
The raw honesty behind his words killed herfaster than any prettied words would have.
“Yes.”
“Thank God.” His mumbled words made her smirk. Kicking off her flip flops, she stepped from the material encasing her ankles.
He stood, shoving his sweatpants and boxers down around his ankles as he sat back down on the chair. His cock spra
ng free. Ten inches of quivering male seeped milky white fluid. A vein ran on the underside of his girth. There would be no bed, dim lighting, or whispers. This was release and comfort. A moment of blissful peace during the constant barrage of pain they’d been forced into at every turn with this case.
“Protection?”
Swiveling his chair he rummaged in the desk drawer and turned back around with a reflective square in his hand. She snatched it from his fingertips and grinned.
“I believe it’s my turn.”
With a firm grip on his cock she bent and flicked the vein that stood out in his swollen member. He jerked and grunted. The guttural sound made her pussy gush liquid that spilled onto her upper thighs.
“Vannah.” Pulling back, she stroked him until iridescent beads of liquid flowed in a steady stream. Licking her hand clean she opened the square and rolled the condom down on his rock-hard shaft. She climbed onto his lap.
“Guide yourself in, Carey.”
When he grasped the base of his cock, she eased down onto him. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as he spread her walls. Flexing around him, she moaned. His masculine grunt joined her as she stretched to accommodate him inch by inch.
When she was fully seated she nodded. He grasped her hips, lifted her up, and brought her down in smooth strokes that made her cry out. Their gazes were like lasers locked onto a target. There were no words. The sound of lovemaking and rapid breathing filled the room.
Her muscles clamped down on him. A miniature earthquake swept through her body. White light flooded behind her eyelids. Pumping faster, he rode through the explosion, joining her a few moments later. His harsh, strangled cry echoed in her ears.
Spent, she draped herself over him. Their sweat-slickened bodies molded together as they came down.
***
“Wow seems like an underwhelming word, but it’s all I got.”
She laughed and he breathed a mental sigh of relief. We’re going to be okay.
“No, I’d say that about sums it up.”
“Good.” Brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear, he offered up a genuine smile. “Thank you, Savannah.”
“You’re welcome.” They leaned in as one, lips connecting, and throwing sparks very different from the ones that had led them into this position.