He smiled grimly as he leaned back in the chair. “I’m sure you’ll want to stab me often over the years, but as long as it’s not through the heart, I can take it.”
“I'm serious.”
“I know you are, but these are all things we will deal with together. When you’re a vampire, you’ll understand how intense this bond is.”
Terror tore through Maggie. She recalled how pathetic she’d felt sitting at the bar last night, waiting for him to come back, and how annoyed with herself she’d been because of it. She’d spent the first twelve years of her life with only herself to rely on. Then, she’d had A.J. for such a brief time, and now she had Roger.
She cared for Aiden, but she didn’t know if she could count on him too. She believed she could, but she hadn’t known him long enough to be certain. She didn’t like uncertainty. And Aiden was talking about eternity, a commitment much larger than any she’d ever experienced before, and it didn’t sound as if he were giving her much choice on it either.
“When I’m a vampire? Have I already agreed to this, or do I simply have no choice?” she asked.
The acid dripping from her voice made him realize he’d said the wrong thing. “Of course, you have a choice.”
“What about my life? My career? My friends? What happens to all those things? Am I supposed to toss them aside for a life with no guarantees if it all blows up in my face?”
“Even if this blows up between us, which it won’t, I promise you’ll be taken care of.”
“I don’t need you to take care of me!”
Aiden took a deep breath as he tried to figure out how to proceed. Fiercely independent, Maggie wouldn’t embrace relying on someone else more often. “We can find a way for you to keep your job if you prefer. You would probably have to take some time off from work in the beginning. Newly turned vampires are often in control of themselves, but with what you do and the blood you’ll be around, it could be more difficult.”
“Yeah, eating the patients would be bad.”
He gave her a wan smile. “Yes.”
She stared at him before looking at the window as she contemplated everything he’d said to her. No matter how much she cared for Aiden, she didn’t know if she could make this leap. She’d worked too hard to gain the security she had now to risk everything.
“I care about you; I really do, more than I ever believed possible in such a short time, but I’d like some time to think about this, Aiden. It’s a big decision.”
“Whatever you need.”
“I have to go home, go back to work, go back to the real world. Hiding out in a hotel room with you is more a dream than reality. I need some reality,” she said and smiled at him to soften her words.
Aiden’s fangs extended. He could turn her and complete the bond so she could never leave him, but not only would she despise him, he’d despise himself. He wouldn’t tell her that he could already feel himself unraveling because of their incomplete bond. It might destroy him, but he would abide by whatever she decided, and he would control himself, for her.
“I understand,” he said. “I’ll take you home today.”
“I need to be alone, Aiden.”
His teeth clamped together with enough force to crack a few. “I see.”
“It’s the only way I’ll be able to sort this out,” Maggie gushed. She felt like she’d stabbed him straight through the heart, and she hated it, but she had to do this. “When I’m with you, I can’t think straight. There’s so much I have to process, and taking some time to do that is nothing compared to an eternity, right?”
“Right.”
“And you said there’s no threat to me anymore.”
“There’s not. The Savage Ronan and the others captured and we questioned revealed they didn’t tell anyone else about what happened the night they attacked me.”
“Why did they keep it quiet?”
“Because they almost exposed all of our kind that night. Since it appears they were working for Joseph as well as Carha, Joseph would have had them pleading for death by the time he finished with them for making such a blunder of that night.”
“So, I’ll be safe if I go home alone?”
“Yes.”
“Then, I think it’s best if I go now.”
“Sure.” He couldn’t think about going to sleep without Maggie tonight or waking to find her gone. He’d tear everything in this room apart if he did.
“I’ll meet you here, at the bar, in four days. I don’t know if I’ll have everything sorted out by then, but give me those four days before we talk again.”
“Whatever you need.”
“Aiden—”
“Do what you need to do, Maggie. I’ll be here for you, always.”
Unexpected tears burned her eyes, and a lump formed in her throat. She’d asked for this time away from him, yet it took everything she had to place her feet on the ground and rise from the bed. If she said yes to him, she could stay in this dream world forever, but she would be giving up so much for someone she barely knew.
Her heart ached for him as he kept his gaze focused on his feet. His knuckles turned white from clenching them.
Padding over to him, she bent and kissed the top of his head. “Two o’clock on Friday, we’ll meet back here. Four days from now.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “You can’t reveal anything about what you know, Maggie. If you breathe one word about the existence of vampires to anyone, I might not be able to protect you.”
“I would never do anything to put you or your family in danger, Aiden. Never. Besides, my worst nightmare is ending up in a room next to my mother, and that’s where I’d be if I started telling people vampires were real.”
Aiden nodded, but he found it impossible to say anymore to her.
Maggie slipped from the room before she threw all precaution to the wind and plunged over the edge with him. However, if she chose to join Aiden, it would be the most permanent decision she’d ever made in her life. She couldn’t make that choice without at least thinking it over first.
Her brain repeated this over and over again, but her heart felt like someone had stuck it in a shredder.
CHAPTER 41
Aiden arranged for her to return to work the next day. She didn’t like the idea of him messing with her friends’ minds again, but she didn’t have much choice on this one. It felt good to be back at work, kidding with her coworkers and taking their ribbing about her concussion. They all agreed she couldn’t bruise a brain that wasn’t there.
She’d expected their teasing, and she took it in stride, but something about it didn’t feel right. None of this felt like her life anymore. Her apartment, a place she’d worked to make a home, was no longer inviting to her.
When she saw Roger, she didn’t want to let go of him as she hugged him. “You’re gonna break a rib, Mags,” he grumbled, and she released him.
“Sorry.”
“Hmm,” he said as he straightened his shirt and fixed his hair. Then he hugged her so tight her back cracked.
She laughed when he set her down and hugged him again. “Did you go to Glenn’s funeral?”
“Yes. Doctor’s orders be damned.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you.”
“It’s okay, kid.” He turned away from her, but not before she saw the sheen of tears in his eyes. “How you been feeling?”
“Better.”
“Good.”
“I love you too, Roger.” She knew it wasn’t exactly the time to tell him, but she’d never gotten the chance to say it back to him during their phone call.
He waved his hand at her as he busied himself with taking inventory of their supplies. They fell into a comfortable silence with each other as they prepped for their shift.
“You remember anything about what happened?” he asked when they were pulling out of the station.
“No,” Maggie said and clicked her seat belt into place. She was glad she couldn’t see his face as she uttered this
lie. “I remember leaving here for the night. I have some flashes of being in an alley, and then I was at home.”
She resisted scratching at her arms. She’d found herself scratching often since she’d parted from Aiden, and her skin felt like it had the night he’d gone after Carha. She hated the sensation. Without Aiden lying beside her, she’d also been unable to sleep last night. Tossing and turning, she realized she missed his arms around her.
Giving up on sleep, she’d climbed out of bed and gone for a run when the sun came up. The slap of her feet on the sidewalk lulled her, the rush of running propelled her onward, but it had done nothing to ease the pressure building in her chest. She’d run ten miles, gone home, and collapsed onto her bed. Finally, she fell asleep at nine and woke up often before she finally crawled out of bed at two to get ready for her shift.
Maybe she would adjust to a life without him again after a few days, but she worried she knew too much now to go back to the way things were. Scratching absently at her skin, she stared out the window as they passed the Prudential building.
“You okay, Maggie May?” Roger asked after they’d been on duty for a few hours.
“I’m fine. How are you feeling?”
“Me? I’m fit as a fiddle,” he said. “You’ve been quieter than normal, and I think you’re going to scratch your skin off.”
Maggie glanced at the backs of her red hands and the scratches on her arms. Her hands had become so raw she’d drawn blood and never even realized it. She folded them in her lap to hide the marks.
“I guess I’m still a little out of it,” she said.
“Concussions are a tricky thing.”
“Yeah,” she muttered. So are vampires with green eyes who somehow manage to dig their way under your skin.
“Maybe you should have stayed out of work longer.”
“No. I’m fine. If I weren't, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t risk someone’s life that way.”
But aren’t I? She’d never actually had a concussion, but her mind wasn’t in the game right now. She shouldn’t be here, but she didn’t know where else to be. Back in Aiden’s arms? Jumping into a life with no preparation for it falling apart on her?
She’d spent her entire childhood and teen years uncertain of where she’d be the next day. Once she was old enough to be on her own, she swore she’d never again know that kind of uncertainty. One of her biggest dreams had been knowing where she would be sleeping the next night, and she’d achieved it. The idea of letting her security go scared her more than the Savages ever had.
Aiden said mates were eternal, but marriage vows were until death, and many people walked away from those. She’d understand if she were a vampire, he’d said. Great, I’ll understand once I choose to live forever with a man I’ve known for five days.
If someone else had come to her looking for advice on this issue, she would have told them they were a fool for considering it. People lived together and shared their lives for years before getting married and still divorced a year later.
She realized she’d started scratching her hands again. What was wrong with her? Lifting her hands, she examined them, but there was no rash or insect bites to indicate why she’d started this obsessive itching. No, there was only the ever-tightening presence of her skin.
The radio squelched before the dispatcher’s voice sounded. Maggie forgot all about her discomfort as she focused on their call.
• • •
“Did you tell her that mates can’t live without each other? Does she know you could go mad or die without her?” Vicky demanded as she followed Aiden down the stairs of Ronan’s mansion to the gym in the basement.
“No,” he replied in a clipped tone that should have warned her to back off.
“You should have told her; she wouldn’t have left!” Vicky insisted.
“She didn’t leave.”
“Then where is she?”
When he spun around, she lurched back. “She’s back in her apartment and her life.”
“But she could be dooming you, and she doesn’t know it! She has to know!”
“She doesn’t have to know anything! You and every other member of our family, including the Stooges, are to stay out of this. None of you are to tell her anything or have anyone else approach her. Do you understand me?”
“But, Aiden—”
“No,” he snarled, and Vicky took another step away from him. “She has a right to make her own choices about her life. She will be allowed to do that.”
“And if she decides not to be with you?”
Aiden’s fangs slid free; his nails pierced his palms, and blood pooled into his fists. He couldn’t think about the possibility Maggie might not choose him. He’d go mad if he thought about it, and then he might go after Maggie, something he was determined not to do. She’d asked for four days, and he would give them to her. If she asked for more time after that, he would give it to her. If she needed him before then, all she had to do was call.
“That will be her choice,” he said and turned away.
Stepping into the massive gym, he ignored the handful of other recruits training there. Like an annoying gnat, Vicky followed him as he stalked across the floor to the weapons hanging on the back wall. The gym held every piece of exercise equipment imaginable, and beating the shit out of one of the practice dummies was exactly what he needed.
“I’m worried about you,” Vicky said.
“I know.”
“I can’t lose you.”
He couldn’t hold onto his annoyance with her when he knew her worry came from a place of love. “You won’t.”
“There is vampire DNA in Maggie too. Enough for her to smell a little something off about Savages and to require blood to be healthy. There will be enough for her to recognize you as her mate too. Or at the very least, miss you too much to stay away from you.”
“Perhaps,” he said and removed two swords from the wall.
Vicky removed two smaller swords and hefted them to test their weight. Aiden spun his weapons in his hands as he stepped back to look at his sister. Before her imprisonment, Vicky had been more focused on fashion and parties than anything else. Since being freed, she’d become almost as dedicated to training as him.
Vicky grinned at him as she stepped back. “Want to spar?”
“With the mood I’m in, I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
“Are you scared?” she taunted before giving him a small jab with the tip of her blade.
Aiden glanced at his shirt, but she hadn’t poked him hard enough to draw blood. “Remember, you asked for it,” he said.
Vicky danced back, and they fell into an easy rhythm with each other as they moved around the blue gym mat. As a purebred vampire, Vicky was strong, but she didn’t possess his strength. What she lacked in power, she made up for with her quickness. He could move with speed and grace, but Vicky was smaller and more nimble. She deftly avoided many of his jabs as their swords clashed.
He hammered her back with a series of blows meant to knock the weapon from her hand, but she kept hold of it. He almost had her against the wall when she dropped suddenly, hitting the mat flat on her back before rolling away from him and bouncing to her feet.
“Nice move,” he said admiringly.
She grinned as she brushed back the strands of damp hair clinging to her flushed face. “I know.”
Aiden laughed before going at her again. They sparred for nearly half an hour more before Vicky stepped back and planted the tip of her sword on the mat. They were both breathing heavily, and Aiden felt a little more in control of himself. He would spend hours more down here, working himself into a state of exhaustion. Hopefully he would be able to get at least an hour of sleep before rising to do it all over again tomorrow.
He wouldn’t leave Ronan’s mansion until it was time to meet with Maggie; he didn’t trust himself enough to risk being around people. He hated the idea of Maggie being out there unguarded, but he wouldn’t be able to stay away fr
om her if he saw her. Declan had agreed to check on her occasionally and to keep his distance.
He’d much prefer someone watching her 24/7, but she’d be irate if she ever discovered he’d done that to her. Her fury would be worth it to make sure she was safe, but with no direct threat to her life anymore, he couldn’t justify spying on her or having someone else do so.
“How about we eat and get back to it?” Vicky inquired.
“You’re not tired yet?”
“Oh, I am, but no one ever comes at me as fiercely as you just did, and I need that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m no delicate flower, Aiden Michael Byrne,” Vicky retorted. “Don’t apologize to me. I’m glad someone has finally stopped taking it easy on me, and yes, I realize you’re still holding back a little, but nowhere near as much as you usually do.”
“Hmm,” he grunted and returned his swords to the wall. “Maybe we’ll try something else after feeding.”
“Sounds good to me,” Vicky replied and returned her weapons too.
She walked beside him to the swinging, metal doors leading into the room where the blood was stored. Pushing open one of the doors, Aiden stepped into the room and walked over to the industrial refrigerator set against the back wall. He removed two bags from within and handed one to Vicky. Once she finished with hers, Vicky threw the bag away and waited for him as he consumed three more before finally feeling somewhat sated.
Opening one of the doors, they stepped back into the gym as Ronan and his mate, Kadence, entered. Walking next to Kadence was her brother, Nathan. Seeing him, Vicky stiffened, and a deer in the headlights look came over her face. Ronan said something and Nathan nodded.
“What is he doing here?” Vicky hissed.
Aiden frowned at her. “Nathan?”
“Yes, Nathan.”
“He is Kadence’s brother.”
“He’s also a hunter who slaughters our kind,” she retorted.
“Not anymore. Ronan has an alliance with the hunters. I don’t trust them yet—”
“Neither do I.”
Ravaged (Vampire Awakenings, Book 7) Page 25