by J. M. Colail
He could hear the American smile, “No… just the four of us and please, wear something casual. On occasions like this, I refuse to wear a tie, jacket, dress pants or anything remotely close to what I have to wear at work. It’s taken me a number of years, but I’ve finally persuaded Maria that it’s okay to wear jeans around your friends.”
Why was this eloquent, thoughtful man rambling? Yes, this was a social call, but what was the problem in asking someone to come over for dinner? No problem at all, unless his first impression was right. There was a reason why Jack seemed uncomfortable around him, and Lucas was determined to find out if that reason was mutual attraction.
“I’m sure I can persuade Lucy to come, but I’ll call you tomorrow to confirm. What time do you want us there?”
“Why don’t we start unfashionably early, say around five? We have a fabulous garden and Belgian weather permitting, we can enjoy it a little before we start dinner. Oh, and you’ll need the address?”
Lucas jotted down the Ambassador’s home address on a piece of official Foreign Service notepaper. “So we’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?”
“Yeah, tomorrow,” he heard from the other side, just before the click signaling the end of the conversation.
Lucas sat there for a while holding the telephone and smiling.
The man was definitely an enigma, and the way he was feeling about him was a complication he could do without in his life right now. Finally his career was on track, and Lucy was a large part of the reason why. She made him… normal. Not the secretive guy with no discernible private life, but an ordinary guy with a beautiful blonde on his arm.
It wasn’t like he was totally faking it. He loved Lucy; she was nice, full of life, with a naïve outlook and not too many ambitions of her own. They knew each other from the six months he had spent at college in America, and even though he had a boyfriend at the time, they had become friends. The first time they slept together was about two months before he was supposed to leave for the posting in Brussels, and when push came to shove, she came with him, just to be away from her overbearing family.
They were doing remarkably well in their one bedroom apartment in the European district, from which Lucas could walk to work and Lucy could take the metro to the Vesalius College where she was taking Communications and International Affairs classes. Lucas found Lucy easygoing and undemanding, and even the sex was okay.
Despite all that, Lucas never stopped longing for the touch of another man.
He had kept his urges in check for almost a year now, and up until a week ago, he’d found the desires easy to live with. The benefits greatly outweighed the occasional wet dream and the use of a little imagination went a long way while he was making love to Lucy, especially as her wiry frame lacked the usual curves of a woman.
That evening, after she had come on to him while watching TV, they made love in the darkness of their bedroom. The only reason Lucas lasted long enough to make her come was that he had tried hard not to think of Jack. Once he heard her cry out his name and felt her spasm beneath him, he could no longer control his thoughts and, imagining how he would touch and kiss the older man and thrust inside him until Jack too would shout his name, he came just moments later.
As he rolled over onto his back, panting heavily and trying to catch his breath, he could feel Lucy wrap herself around him.
She looked up at him with glazy eyes. “God, Lucas, I don’t know what got into you tonight, but it was just amazing.”
Lucas kissed her hair and closed his eyes, feeling guilty about the deception.
“They want us to come over for dinner on Saturday,” he spoke softly.
“Who?” Lucy asked, now more awake.
“The Christensens. The US Ambassador and his wife, remember?”
“Oh, I hope you said yes!” Lucy exclaimed, now sitting upright next to Lucas. “Oh my God, Lucas, what will I wear?”
Chapter Four
IT MAY have been uncharacteristically cold all that week, but Saturday turned out to be a wonderful day. Most Embassy personnel lived in the European quarter around the European Parliament and the Embassies, so hardly anyone had a company car, but Lucas had arranged to borrow one of the Smart cars the embassy had on standby, much to Lucy’s contentment.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to wear that?” Lucy asked as she passed Lucas while he was checking himself out in the bathroom mirror. “Lucas, we’re going to Saturday night dinner at the house of a US Ambassador. That would not even get you invited to the dinner table at my parents’ house.” She gave him a once-over and then retreated to the bedroom.
“Well, Jack said no ties, jackets or dress pants, so….” He looked happy in his faded jeans and green shirt.
Lucy gave him an amused look while she was slipping into a soft yellow sweater. “Oh, it’s Jack now, is it?”
“Yes,” Lucas answered, a little annoyed it had slipped out so easily. “You can’t expect me to call him Mr. Christensen all the time when we’re working together, now can you?”
“Oh, I don’t know. You’re a junior assistant and he’s an ambassador, of course you’re on a first name basis. Here, try this.” She threw him a midnight blue silk shirt and black jeans.
He sighed as he sat down next to her on the bed after taking his favorite pants off. “He asked me to call him Jack, all right?”
Lucy got up and kissed him on the forehead. “No need to get defensive… and I just want you to look nice. It’s not like those clothes aren’t comfortable.” She turned around and disappeared into the bathroom.
Lucas let himself drop so he was lying on his back on the bed. She didn’t deserve being snapped at, but for some reason, she was getting on his nerves these past days. He knew, of course, why she did. The past year had been easy, but now that the genuine article was right in front of him, he was no longer content with second best.
Tonight was not going to be easy, though. He was probably going to be confronted with Jack being fussed over by his perfect wife and Lucy trying hard to impress everyone. He didn’t know which thought he hated more.
SINCE BRUSSELS traffic was notoriously difficult to predict, they arrived at the villa in Tervuren according to Belgian custom: a very fashionable ten minutes late.
Lucas had missed the rather well-hidden entrance the first time they drove past and had to turn a little further up the street. Once they entered the narrow driveway, it took a sharp turn to the right and they were stopped by two Secret Service men.
“Can we see some identification, please?” the man on Lucas’s side of the car demanded.
Lucas handed over his passport together with his diplomatic pass and Lucy’s papers. “Lucas Carlton, Lucy Marsh, to see Mr. and Mrs. Christensen.”
“Very well, sir. I’m afraid we will have to take a look at your car. Could you step out of the vehicle and open the trunk, please.”
It was not a question, so Lucas complied. The guard flicked on his flashlight and checked the empty boot. He then nodded at Lucas, allowing him to close it. The second man looked around the inside of the car.
Once Lucas was back in the driver’s seat, the guard gave him back his papers. “Mr. Carlton, Miss Marsh, thank you for complying with our security regulations. You may drive along this road to the house without stopping and park to the left of the main building. We will inform the house that you have arrived. We wish you a pleasant stay as guests of our Ambassador.”
Lucy was annoyed they were late, but Lucas figured he at least had something to talk about with his hosts, explaining just why they were held up, but his fears of the whole setup being uncomfortable were unjustified as they neared the house. Maria was walking up from the front of the garden toward the house with some hydrangeas in her arms and she looked absolutely radiant in a simple white dress. She smiled at them invitingly.
“Drive on up to the house, you can park at the side, and I’ll let you in.”
The house itself looked like it had been featured in Homes and Gardens
, but the inside was cozy and nice, clean and tidy, but not to the point where you felt uncomfortable. There was a table filled with magazines and newspapers and lots of flowers everywhere.
“Come on through,” Maria urged as she walked in front of her guests into the house. “I just want to put these in a vase. Did you find the house easily?”
“Yeah, Jack’s directions were good. The traffic was just a little busier than I predicted,” Lucas answered, looking over at Lucy. “So I guess we honored a Belgian tradition and arrived a little late.”
Maria smiled warmly. “Don’t worry, Lucas. Since everything in our lives is so meticulously planned, we try to keep home life a little more chaotic and unplanned. So I apologize beforehand if things seem a little ‘unrehearsed’ tonight. We like to keep things relaxed when we have friends over. Jack’s elbow deep into preparing dinner, so come say hi in the kitchen and I can get you some drinks there.”
Lucas and Lucy exchanged looks at being considered friends, even though they had only met briefly, but followed Maria nonetheless.
She wasn’t kidding about Jack being elbow deep into cooking. He had his shirt sleeves rolled up and was wearing an apron, which was a good thing since he was kneading dough.
“Lucy, Lucas, you found the place!” Jack smiled broadly. “Welcome! As you can see, Maria takes care of the house, but the kitchen is my domain, so forgive me for the informal greeting.”
“Oh, the man does the cooking around here. Lucas, you could pick up some pointers from Jack, then,” Lucy teased.
“Yeah, well. I’m afraid growing up with a live-in cook didn’t do my cooking skills any good, so I had to find myself a man with hidden talents,” Maria was quick to answer as she put her arm around Jack and stole a kiss.
Lucas felt himself go pale and hoped it wouldn’t show. What was he thinking? This man was clearly in love with his wife, and why shouldn’t he be? She was perfect, a charming hostess, complete with a sense of humor. He watched her reach up for glasses to put the home made iced tea in, but more clearly noticed the way Jack looked at her, letting his eyes ghost over her perfect female form.
LUCY AND Maria retreated to the garden, leaving Lucas in the kitchen with Jack.
“You’re unusually quiet,” Jack inquired softly, breaking the rather uncomfortable silence.
“So you make your own bread?” Lucas replied, since he didn’t want to answer the question.
Jack smiled. “Yeah, that’s my party trick,” he shrugged. “Maria loves to boast to our guests that I can make bread, so she makes me do it every time.”
“Must be quite an ordeal. Being made to perform like that…,” Lucas answered, trying to crank up his sense of humor.
“Well, what can I say, I’m a henpecked husband,” Jack snorted, still smiling. “At functions, she’s my sidekick, so at home I’m a good boy and I do what she asks.”
Lucas could almost see them in bed together, Jack on his back and…. He turned around when he realized it would never be Maria bent over Jack in his fantasies.
“So, Lucas, I could use a hand, if you don’t mind?”
The young man turned to face his host again. “Ehm, sure, but as Lucy said, I’m not a great cook.”
“Well, wash your hands, and I’ll tell you what to do.”
Jack could tell Lucas was nervous, but nowhere near as nervous as he was himself. It helped that he had things to do. Things that kept his eyes from wandering over the flowing, slightly on the large side silk shirt Lucas was wearing. Things that kept his hands busy (and dirty) so he wouldn’t be tempted to grab the young man as he passed behind him to wash his hands in the sink. Bury it, Christensen, he told himself as he kneaded the dough once more before it was ready for the oven.
Lucas looked at him expectantly after returning to the counter where Jack was working.
“Okay, we need to divide this dough into smaller pieces to make individual rolls and then shape them into little balls. Can you do that?” Jack felt the young man’s heat next to his arms as they were standing quite close to each other.
“Ehm?”
Jack gave him a small chunk of dough. “Just knead it gently, don’t knock the air out of it. Think of it as a woman’s breast.”
Lucas chuckled, “Which in my case will make us end up with very small buns.”
Jack knocked him playfully with his elbow, and they both laughed as they continued making the rolls.
Jack looked up through the kitchen window toward the garden, where the two women walked through the rose garden, clearly in animated discussion.
“They seem to be getting along just fine,” Jack tried after silence had fallen between them again.
“Yeah, look at that… our women.”
Jack wondered if he was just dreaming the tone of Lucas’s voice at that statement. He realized he had seen Lucy clinging to Lucas, but they were not close physically otherwise. It felt like a one way relationship, but then he was hardly the one to make an objective assertion of that.
“Things a little difficult between you two?” Jack offered, only to be met by a frightened look from Lucas. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry, it’s none of my business, of course,” Jack was quick to add after he averted his gaze. “Can you open the oven for me, please?” he asked Lucas, pointing at the large stove underneath the gas burners. After Lucas complied, he put the bread in the oven and moved back to the counter.
“It’s not easy, Jack,” Lucas eventually whispered.
Feeling the tension in the air again, Jack tried to rescue the situation. “It must be hard for her, leaving her family like that to move to a foreign country.”
“Yeah.” Lucas nodded, not entirely convincingly.
Damn, now the moment was lost. But what could he do? It’s not like he could ask Lucas straight out. Straight, yeah, funny….
“Now I literally need a hand,” Jack stated, trying to lighten the mood.
“Sure,” Lucas answered, “a hand, two hands, arms, shoulders, whatever you need, Jack.”
Jack could feel Lucas looking at him and for a moment the brash, forward young man he knew from the office was back. He was at a loss for words momentarily, but recovered shortly afterward.
“I need to wrap this salmon in phyllo pastry and then tie it up with string, so I need a third hand to help tie the knot.”
They worked together silently and Jack felt Lucas stealing little touches. Was he just imagining the fact that Lucas was standing very close to him, their arms brushing and purposefully making their hands touch as he put his finger on every knot Jack tied? Was the young man lingering a little longer than he should?
“There,” Jack stated as the eight small packages of pastry wrapped salmon were arranged on the baking tray.
Suddenly he felt Lucas’s hand rest on his, fingers curled loosely around the side of his hand. As he looked up, Lucas was staring at him, his eyes soft, expectant and a little fearful, too. He didn’t want to move his hand, didn’t want to let go of the warmth that was spreading through his entire body and making something jump in his stomach.
Chapter Five
THE DINNER was absolutely delicious and the two women hit it off together so well, it was hardly noticeable that the men were barely speaking unless they were dragged into the conversation by Lucy or Maria.
Lucas noticed, though. He felt the tension could be cut with a knife. And he was sure Jack realized it, too, as he was steadily avoiding Lucas’s gaze.
Why had he touched Jack’s hand like that?
They had been in the kitchen, the atmosphere relaxed, as Jack was showing him all kinds of cooking tricks. Simple things he could probably have come up with himself, if he had ever ventured in there for more than frying an egg or putting a pizza in the oven.
Lucas had moved closer to Jack, stealing occasional touches as his elbow grazed Jack’s naked arm, the silk of his shirt transferring the body heat. He had studied Jack’s hands as they delicately wrapped the salmon in herbs and then in pastry, and
had helped by adding his finger so Jack could tie the strings. They made a good team, Jack had said so himself.
And then all of a sudden, the small touches weren’t enough anymore for Lucas. What he really wanted to do was put his arms around the man, hold him tight, kiss him, feel their bodies come together.
Instead he put his hand on Jack’s. Where the older man had carelessly put his hand on the counter, Lucas covered it with his and curled his fingers around it, his heart racing a mile a minute.
He expected Jack to pull his hand away. Not that the older man had given any indication that Lucas was crowding him, even though it was a large kitchen and they had been standing close together. But this time he let his hand linger a little longer than the other times, and as he looked up, he saw Jack look at him, too. From the look in Jack’s eyes, Lucas could see that he understood this was a deliberate attempt at physical contact.
And to Lucas’s surprise, he didn’t retract his hand. The look in his eyes was another matter, though. What was it? Surprise? Disgust? Jack’s breathing had become a little faster, a little more pronounced and then Lucas saw it, the mixture of regret and something that looked suspiciously like fear. Was he afraid Maria would walk in? Was he telling him that he wanted this, too, only not now? Or was he too nice to freak out?
Lucas removed his hand and averted his eyes. At that precise moment, Maria walked into the kitchen, Lucy in tow, both of them holding roses they had cut from the garden. Lucas took a step back, creating some distance between them.
“So how’s dinner coming along?” Maria asked as she filled a vase with water and started arranging the flowers.
“I love kitchens that smell of freshly made bread. Reminds me of my mother’s kitchen at home,” Lucy commented brightly. “Don’t tell me you make your own bread as well?” she asked Maria.