by J. M. Colail
“Hello?” she said, her voice a little rough from sleep.
“Um, hello? Mrs. Carroll?”
“This is,” she answered, annoyed that a telemarketer was calling so early.
“Um, this is Toren Grey, Wesley’s….”
“What?” she interjected with a tone of aggravation.
“I’m sorry to call, but… um, Wesley’s in the hospital right now. He, um….”
“What?” she demanded again, this time in a panicked voice.
“He… he needs emergency surgery. He has appendicitis and….”
“Where? Where is he?” she asked.
“The University Hospital. He just went in for….”
“All right. I’ll be right there,” she said and hung up the phone.
I still had the receiver at my ear and the fear in her voice sank into me. I felt guilty all of a sudden, like I let this happen to Wesley, like this was my fault. My chest felt tight and I couldn’t take deep breaths. She sounded so afraid. I hung up the phone and balled my hands into fists at my sides. Tears welled again and I blinked rapidly to keep them at bay.
I called Mom collect and started crying again before I could even say hello. I choked on my sobs and Mom guessed what had happened. She talked to me until I calmed down, and then said she would come up soon. I tried to tell her that I’d call her once Wesley was out of surgery and in a room, but Mom insisted on coming and I didn’t argue. Then I went back to the waiting room and listened to the clock until Mr. and Mrs. Carroll arrived twenty minutes later.
They hurried into the waiting room and I stood up quickly. They stared at me silently and I didn’t know what to say. I fidgeted my hands and Mr. Carroll glared at me.
“Where’s Wes?” he demanded.
“He… he’s in surgery now,” I stuttered quietly.
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
“He has appendicitis,” I explained, staring at the floor. I reiterated everything the ER doctor told me and I started crying again.
They sat down across the waiting room from me and I heard them talking quietly but I couldn’t understand anything they were saying. I sat in the wooden chair with the purple cushion with my knees together and my shoulders slumped, trying to take up as little room as possible, wishing I could disappear altogether. After a few minutes, Mr. Carroll went to the courtesy phone at the back desk. He spoke with someone but I only heard him mention Wesley’s name. Then he and Mrs. Carroll excused themselves and I was left all alone again. I took a deep, unsteady breath and felt relief that they were gone. I held my head in my hands, closed my eyes, and waited.
Mom and Alycia startled me when they entered the waiting room. They both came even though I told them they didn’t have to. Mom hugged me and Alycia rubbed my back and promised me that Wesley was going to be just fine. We sat down in the empty waiting room and Alycia grabbed a 500-piece puzzle from a nearby shelf.
Hours passed as we worked on the puzzle of an assortment of postage stamps. Mr. and Mrs. Carroll still hadn’t come back. Alycia went to buy some sodas for us and we continued working on the puzzle.
“What time did Wes go in?” Mom asked, looking up at the clock.
“A little before eight,” I answered, glancing up at the clock too. It was just past twelve-thirty.
“Hmm. He should be out of surgery by now. Recovery too,” she thought aloud, counting back the hours. My stomach cringed and Mom patted my head. “Let me call. I’ll see what’s going on,” she said.
Mom went to the courtesy phone and Alycia and I watched her. Her eyes widened, then narrowed, then she nodded her head.
“He’s out of recovery. He’s already in a room,” she said.
We hurried and took the elevator to the sixth floor. I had to keep myself from running as we turned down the hall Wesley was on. My breathing sped up and my heart thumped against my rib cage. The door to room 612 was wide open and Mr. Carroll stood at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed. Mrs. Carroll stood beside Wesley and I inhaled deeply, realizing I had been holding my breath. His face brightened and he smiled at me.
“There you are! Where have you been?” Wesley asked in a rough and raspy voice.
He had dark rings under eyes, greasy, disheveled hair, and an IV in his left arm and I thought he looked more handsome than ever. I unconsciously pushed my way past Mrs. Carroll and Wesley held out his hand to me. Tears filled my eyes and my lips moved, but no sound came out.
“Hi. How are you?” I finally managed to say, taking Wesley’s hand and squeezing it lightly.
Wesley closed his eyes and exhaled. “Really tired and a little achy, but a lot better than I was before,” he said and smiled again. “How are you?”
“A lot better now,” I answered honestly. Wesley closed his eyes again, but he kept hold of my hand. “Can… can I get you anything?”
“I’m really, really thirsty,” he answered, licking his dry, chapped lips.
“Let me get you some ice chips,” Mom said, smiling at Wesley.
“Hi, Amanda,” Wesley murmured, opening his eyes. He seemed surprised but genuinely happy that Mom and Alycia came to see him. Alycia stepped forward after Mom left the room and Wesley blinked slowly but kept smiling. “Hey, little sister.”
“Hi, big brother,” Alycia said softly, patting his shoulder.
Wesley’s parents stared with furrowed brows at the foot of the bed as we took over the room and Wesley’s attention. Mr. Carroll folded his arms on his chest and looked out the door.
“You really had us worried for a second there,” Alycia said with upturned brows. “I thought poor Toren was gonna have a heart attack,” she confided with a smile and a glance in my direction.
Mom returned with a Styrofoam cup filled with ice chips and handed it to me. She leaned down and kissed Wesley’s forehead and ruffled his hair. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she whispered, then stepped back.
“Want some ice?” I asked.
Wesley opened his eyes and nodded. I gave him an ice chip and he sucked it between his dry lips with a grateful smile. “Oh man, ice is so good,” he murmured, closing his eyes again. Alycia and Mom chuckled softly and I grinned lightly at them. “Gimme another one,” he said, smacking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
I held another ice chip to his lips and he caught my hand in his, sucked in the ice and kissed my fingertips. I blushed to my ears and Wesley chuckled quietly, laying his head back on the pillow. I closed my eyes and forced a smile, knowing Mr. and Mrs. Carroll were standing right behind me.
“So, where were you? I was waiting forever,” Wesley asked, opening his eyes and looking at me. His voice was still quiet and raspy, but it lost its dry edge.
I shook my head side-to-side. “No one came to talk to me. I didn’t even know you were out of surgery until my mom called and got your room number,” I explained, squeezing his hand. As I spoke, I had a creeping suspicion, but I banished it from my mind.
“Huh, that’s weird. I wonder why?” Wesley asked rhetorically, looking up at the ceiling. “But, you’re here now, so I guess it doesn’t matter,” he added, smiling at me.
There was a knock at the door and a middle-aged woman in a knee-length white coat with black hair pulled taut in a bun stepped over the threshold smiling kindly. She had a stethoscope draped around her neck and hugged a large, metal clipboard to her chest.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Amani, Wesley’s surgeon,” she said in a thickly accented voice. She stepped into the room and made eye contact with each of us. “Wow, you’ve got a full house. Must be a pretty popular guy,” she laughed, showing large, white teeth. She set her clipboard down on the bed table and felt for her stethoscope.
“Well, it’s supposed to be family only,” Mrs. Carroll remarked quietly, crossing her arms and shifting her stance.
Dr. Amani ignored her, or pretended not to hear, and the placed the wishbone end of the stethoscope in her ears. “How are you feeling?” she asked Wesley, tilting her head to the side.
“Tired,” he answered, blinking slowly. “A little achy, but mostly tired.”
Dr. Amani felt around Wesley’s back and chest with the stethoscope, then pointed to his right side. “Can I take a look?” she asked, referring to Wesley’s incisions. Wesley pulled up his gown beneath the knit blanket and Dr. Amani inspected the cuts. “On a scale of one to ten with ten being the worst, how’s your pain?”
Wesley glanced at me and then at the doctor. “Probably a six. A five or a six, I think,” he answered.
“Well, we can get you some more painkillers for that,” Dr. Amani said, pulling Wesley’s gown back down. “Your incisions look good. The surgery went very well and I expect you’ll be back to normal in no time,” she said with a friendly smile. “Now, you don’t have stitches, but Steri-Strips that’ll come off on their own in a few days. You’re going to be tender on your right side and it’s not uncommon to feel some pain in your shoulder. But, all in all, you’re looking really good. We’ll schedule a follow-up exam in two weeks, so until then, no work, no driving, no heavy lifting. We’ll go over that again at your discharge as well as give you a prescription for oral painkillers. I recommend staying in bed, especially the first two days because you’ll be pretty tired, and no sleeping on your stomach, only on your back and maybe a little on your left side. Just take it easy the next two weeks and your body will heal itself,” Dr. Amani explained in a whirlwind of words. She picked up her clipboard and jotted some things down. “Do you have any questions?” Wesley looked at me, and then shook his head. “Well then, I’ll send in a nurse for more Demerol and if you’re feeling well enough, you may even be able to go home tonight.”
Wesley smiled and bowed his head slightly. “Thank you very much, Dr. Amani,” he said quietly and genuinely.
Dr. Amani smiled again, hooking her pen in the breast pocket of her white coat. “I’m glad I can help,” she answered earnestly. “Take care and get well soon,” she said, stepping backward and leaving the room, still with her pleasant smile.
Wesley rested his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. He looked exhausted with dark circles under his eyes. He was so different from the usually bright and vibrant man that I fell in love with and it broke my heart to see him like this. Wesley gripped my hand and furrowed his brows. He opened his eyes and it took a moment for his vision to focus on his parents at the foot of the bed.
“What did you mean when you said ‘family only’?” he asked quietly.
Mrs. Carroll glanced at me, and then shook her head. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” she said dismissively, patting Wesley’s toes over the knit blanket.
Wesley noticed her look in my direction and he tightened his grip around my hand and narrowed his eyes. “You meant Toren, didn’t you?” he asked.
“Honey, it’s all right, we just want what’s best for you,” she said, giving me a glare that might as well have been a knife in my heart.
“He is what’s best for me,” Wesley said violently, his pale face gaining color. “He was the only person I wanted to see when I woke up and you went out of your way to make sure he wasn’t here! Did you actually tell the doctor not to talk to him?”
“Sweetheart, calm down—” Mrs. Carroll began, but Wesley interrupted her.
“I can’t believe it! This is bullshit! Tor called you on his own even though I didn’t want him to. In fact, I told him not to call you, and this is how you thank him? What the hell is wrong with you?”
I was taken aback by the strength in his voice. His face warmed to a reddish hue and he slammed his fist into the bed. He was taking deep breaths and I squeezed his hand.
“Wesley, calm down. It’s okay.” I whispered.
“No, it’s not okay!” Wesley shouted. “I’m sick of the way they treat you.”
“Wes, calm down,” Mr. Carroll said stoically. His expression never changed and it was like he was blaming Wesley for being angry. Wesley looked down into his lap and went quiet; his grip loosened on my hand and he didn’t say anything more.
“Why… why don’t we go down to the cafeteria and get some lunch?” Mom suggested after a silent moment. “Wes really needs his rest right now, so let’s give him some time to sleep.”
Mom smiled awkwardly and Alycia picked up her purse from the floor. Mr. and Mrs. Carroll stared at Wesley, who didn’t look up again, and then agreed. Mom and Alycia led the way out of the room, smiling at Wesley and telling him to get some sleep. Mrs. Carroll patted his leg over the blanket and followed Mr. Carroll out of the room after glaring at me again for a long moment. Wesley lifted his eyes to the door and then sighed with bated relief. He squeezed my hand and looked down into his lap again.
“You always do that,” he said weakly, after everyone was gone.
“Do what?” I asked, turning to Wesley with upturned brows.
“Back down to my parents. You let them walk all over you and I’m sick of it,” he said sullenly.
“I just thought that now wasn’t the right time,” I answered quietly.
“It’s never the right time, but I’m sick of how they treat you.”
“Wesley,” I interrupted, tightening my grip around his hand. “They’re never gonna accept me and I’m fine with that. Because you said you chose me. But I don’t want you to cut all ties with your family. It’s important to me. Besides, we don’t see them all that often, so it’s okay as long as you come home to me,” I explained. It was honestly how I felt and I believed every word I said.
Wesley exhaled heavily through his nose and nodded. “All right, you win. But I still don’t like the way they treat you. I just wish they would get it. I wish they would see that you really are what’s best for me.”
I leaned down and kissed Wesley on the lips, just a short kiss, but one that was filled with promises. Wesley finally smiled at me and sighed again. He laid his head back down and took some deep breaths.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, concerned that he wore himself out more from all the excitement.
“I forgot I was tired,” he said with a sleepy laugh. “But, how are you? Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay. Well, a lot better now,” I acknowledged with a grin.
“Well, you look like hell.”
“You’re one to talk!” I said, lightly slapping Wesley’s shoulder.
“You’ve gotta be tired though. Did you sleep any? Want me to scoot over?”
I kissed Wesley again and pulled a chair next to the bed. Wesley tried to stay awake, but his eyes kept shutting and he eventually drifted off. I watched quietly with a smile on my face. I was so grateful that he was okay; the thought of losing him scared me more than anything. He was still holding my hand and I squeezed it twice. I told him I loved him and then I fell asleep too.
Chapter 41
I HAD learned that clichés are often true; men do act like babies when they’re sick, but Wesley acted like a six year-old without any toys.
He came home from the hospital the morning after his surgery. He stayed in bed and slept most of the day and I sat beside him, reading a book or doing puzzles. He didn’t have much of an appetite, but he ate a little bit of soup and half a slice of bread. He took the prescription painkillers every four hours as directed and slept away the day while his body healed.
I called Gus at the shop and explained what had happened. His voice faltered when I told him Wesley had an emergency appendectomy and I clearly heard his relief when I said that Wesley was already home and on the mend. Gus wanted Wesley to take as much time as he needed because he would work his ass off once he got better. On the second day, Wesley spent most of his time in bed, but he sat up and talked and played games with me. He even sat on the sofa and watched TV while I made dinner. The third day was spent in the living room, curled up on the couch, watching movies and playing video games. He regained his appetite and ate larger portions of soup, sandwiches, and some of the lasagna that Gus’s wife had made for us. By the fourth day, he was able to move around a
little more freely, and he was getting restless.
“I’m bored,” Wesley sighed, leaning back in bed and stretching his arms.
“So read a book or play a game,” I suggested, dropping my T-shirt into the dirty clothes pile on the floor.
“Don’t wanna,” he answered, watching me closely as I pulled a white polo shirt over my head.
“Then watch a movie or something,” I said, stepping into a pair of khaki pants. I took a pair of socks from the top drawer of the dresser and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“I’m not in the mood,” he answered, sitting up and scooting closer to me. “C’mon, Tor, play with me.”
“I can’t. Today’s the first day of school and then I have to work tonight,” I explained calmly although Wesley was threading his arms around my waist. I had taken the past few days off work to take care of him and now I had both school and work.
“But I’m boooored!” Wesley complained, realizing his actions were futile.
“Alycia’s coming over after school and if Jeremy’s not working, I’m sure he’ll come too. So, just be good until they get here. Now, I’ve gotta get going or I’m gonna be late,” I said, standing up and then leaning down and kissing Wesley’s forehead. “I love you and I’ll see you tonight.”
“Fine. Just leave me! Your poor boyfriend’s just had surgery and now you’re leaving him all alone. Poor me,” Wesley whined, sticking out his bottom lip and pouting.
“I know, I’m so mean. But I’ll make it up to you later. I love you!” I said, walking out of the bedroom.
“I love you too. And have a good first day of school,” he called after me.
Chapter 42
I WAS frustrated. Beyond that even. It had been two weeks to the day since Wesley and I last had sex and at least another three days until we could again. It was strange; I had lived over eighteen years of my life never having sex and now I could barely function after a two-week dry spell! What was wrong with me? And Wesley didn’t even seem bothered by it. He was feeling better, no longer taking the prescription painkillers, and his boredom and restlessness increased exponentially, but if he embroiled himself in an activity, he was fine. While I suffered from a twenty-four-hour headache and hard-on. It wasn’t fair! And to make matters worse, Wesley strolled around in his boxers or without a shirt on knowing the exact effect it had on me.