Months before he made the decision to push her away as his struggle to take her slowly became more than he could handle. Danni had been blissfully oblivious to the change in him while she hung on him, sparred with him, talked with him until the early morning hours and fell asleep in his arms as he fought the draw of her blood.
The day he finally found the strength to push her away had almost been too late. He'd just got back from a really fucked up patrol where he came across a large nest of vampires that were killing off the homeless. His backup had been delayed because of the full moon and the damn vampires had a group of fucking gang-bangers as their minions.
It hadn't taken long before things went downhill and he ended up taking a chest full of lead and got knocked out by one in the head. His backup team came in time to clear the rest of the nest and take out the minions before they could do any further damage, which he appreciated. They even managed to clean him up and get enough blood down his throat to help speed up his recovery and hold off bloodlust, but barely.
When he stormed into the compound hours later and saw Danni, barely seventeen, smiling hugely and running towards him to get the scoop on that night's patrol the way she did every night something in him snapped. The moment she threw herself into his arms and her delicious scent teased his nostrils, he no longer cared about anything.
In that moment it hadn't mattered that it was Danni in his arms, or that he cared for her. It hadn't even mattered that there were more than two dozen heavily armed Sentinels around them. All that mattered was her blood and that he didn't have the strength to fight it any longer. When he grabbed her by her arms and pulled her closer he somehow found the strength to do the right thing, but he knew even then that he wouldn't be able to stop himself again so he did the only thing he could think of.
He pushed her away and walked away from her like she meant nothing.
"I deserved better than that!" she snapped, drawing his attention away from a memory that was better left forgotten and focused on the beautiful woman wrapped in a sheet, standing in front of him. Her eyes were a violent red that shimmered with unshed tears.
"I didn't owe you anything, Danni," he snapped back, wishing like hell that she'd left this in the past where it belonged. He didn't want to talk about it back then and he sure as hell didn't want to talk about it now.
"Yes, you did!" she cried, the tears breaking free and making him wish that she'd just hit him instead. He couldn't stand to see her crying and knowing that he was the reason for it seared his soul.
"I was still a kid, you bastard! You just shoved me aside and cut me off without a word!" she yelled, releasing her hold on the sheet so that she could wipe frantically at the tears streaming down her face.
When the sheet let go and started to fall to the ground she grabbed it and yanked it back up before he could help her. She held it with one hand as she used her other hand to wipe angrily at the tears that wouldn't stop.
"Baby, please stop crying," he said, his voice breaking as he watched the strongest woman he'd ever known fall apart.
"You didn't say anything," she sobbed loudly as her body trembled. "You didn't say anything. You just left me," she mumbled as her body rocked with each sob that felt a like a knife being shot through his heart.
"I never left you, Danni," he said hollowly as he reached out to take her in his arms, but she stepped back. "I never left you," he said more firmly as he once again reached for and this time he managed to pull her into his arms before she could move away from him.
He prepared himself for a fight, a slap, a kick, a punch, anything and everything that he deserved, but all she did was sag in his arms as she gave into her pain and cried. He couldn't take it, couldn't stand to hear her cry, knowing that this was his doing.
"I never left you, Danni. I should have, but I couldn't leave you," he swore against the top of her head as he pressed a kiss against her temple.
"Y-you d-did!" she cried softly against his chest as his hold on her tightened.
"No, no, I didn't, sweetheart," he whispered as he closed his eyes and held her. "I should have for your sake, Danni, but I couldn't. I came up with a thousand reasons why I couldn't move on, but the truth is that I was that I was a selfish bastard and couldn't stand to be away from you," he admitted at last.
"You weren't there for me," she mumbled softly against his chest as she wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly as if she was afraid that he'd leave her.
That would never happen.
He knew he couldn't part with her. He just couldn't, but he also couldn't risk her safety by taking her along with him while he tried to figure a few things out and move onto the next stage of his life. He'd have to figure out what to do with her in the meantime, because they couldn't stay here and put Jax's pack in danger. He needed to get his mate to safety before the Master sent everything at his disposal after them.
"I was always there for you, Danni," he whispered, "Always."
"N-no, you weren't," she sobbed against his chest. "You weren't there for me anymore. You left me and I had no one! You just abandoned me! I had to move on without you and I was so scared, Caine, and you weren't there to catch me if I fell."
"I was always there," he whispered fiercely.
"No," she sniffled, "you weren't. You weren't there to make sure that I was okay and you weren't there when everything fell apart and my parents were killed. I needed you so badly and you weren't there!" she cried out even as she tightened her hold around him until he thought his ribs would break, but he didn't care.
"I was there," he promised as he pressed another kiss to the top of her head.
"No, you weren't," she said firmly as she shook her head against his chest. "You have no idea what I went through, w-what I did."
He swore softly as he pressed another kiss to the top of her head. He never meant to tell her, but the woman was killing him and he needed her to know that she'd never been truly alone.
"I know that you think that you were all alone back then, Danni," he said, sighing as he pressed one last kiss to the top of her head before pulling back and admitting, "but you never were. I was always there for you and kept you safe even when you crossed the line."
Chapter 36
"What the hell are you talking about, Caine?" she asked, taking a deep breath in hopes that it would calm her down.
She couldn't believe that she just lost it like that. After all these years she should be a master at ignoring her feelings, but after the last couple of days, too many things had happened to her and somehow her control slipped. If he hadn't come after her she could have had the meltdown without the added benefit of mortification and moved on with her life. Now she had to deal with the knowledge that Caine had witnessed this auspicious occasion. But, apparently that wasn't good enough, because now he was hell-bent on confusing her.
"Your parents' killers, Danni," he answered quietly as she pulled back to look up at him. "I know what you did."
"So?" she said with a careless shrug as she grabbed the top of the sheet with one hand and wiped her eyes with the other. At least her tears weren't coming as fast and her sobs had died down. Hopefully by the next time she ran into him, say five or six centuries from now, he'll forget all about this horrifying moment. She could hope at least.
"The Council found out about it, Danni," he said, making her breath catch. A moment later she slowly released that breath and forced another careless shrug as common sense prevailed.
The Council knew and if they cared they would have done something. Since they hadn't done anything or so much as mentioned it to her then they obviously didn't care. It wasn't as if she made a habit of performing unsanctioned kills so there really was nothing to worry about and obviously they knew that. The only thing that she didn't know was why Caine was bringing this up.
"What's your point, Caine?" she asked, wiping at her eyes again as she walked past him and continued to head towards what she hoped was the main road, but it was kind of difficult to
tell since the property was surrounded by woods and there didn't seem to be any neighboring houses. Maybe her newfound skills would come in handy, she hoped as she inhaled deeply and caught the scent of what she thought was car exhaust so she kept on going, hoping that he'd just let her go.
"You were sentenced to die, Danni," he said softly, stunning her enough that she stumbled over a small rock, but of course Caine flashed in front of her and caught her before she landed face first on the dirt road.
As he helped her to her feet she couldn't help but notice that his erection had finally died down, which was actually great since the damn thing was distracting. Well, it was distracting even in this state, but thankfully Caine had given her something to hold her attention.
"What are you talking about?" she demanded as she stepped back away from him and pushed her hair out of her face.
"You're a human who broke their rules, Danni. You killed two minions, humans, without permission. When the Council found out about it they took a vote and decided to make an example out of you," he explained as his eyes slowly shifted from grey to red.
"I-I wasn't notified. There was no trial," she argued even though she knew that it wasn't required. She wasn't a Sentinel so their rules and protection didn't apply to her. As a human she received the Council's protection as long as she didn't cross the line. The moment she had, all bets were off and the Council would do whatever it took to protect their cause.
"They didn't need one, Danni. We both know that," he said, sounding frustrated as he rubbed his hands down his face. "You should have come to me for help, Danni."
At that she had to let out a humorless laugh. Go to him? Was he kidding?
"You cut me out of your life, Caine. How the hell was I supposed to go to you when you made it more than obvious that you wanted me gone, huh?"
"You should have come to me, Danni," he bit out angrily. "You were in deep shit and you knew it and you sure as hell should have come to me when you found out that you were dying!" he roared, his fangs shooting down as he got in her face. "I would have protected you, Danni, and taken care of everything," he said, cupping her face in his large warm hands as she struggled not to break down again.
Once was more than enough.
"No, you wouldn't have!" she snapped, moving to shove him away, but he refused to move. "You made it clear that I didn't mean anything to you when you walked away from me, Caine, so why the hell would I go to you?"
"Didn't care?" he repeated in hoarse voice. "I never stopped caring about you, Danni. As hard I tried I couldn't."
"Then why did you leave me all alone?" she cried out, her eyes watering with fresh tears and she didn't care. Let him see her as weak. She didn't give a damn, because after this she was walking away and he could go f-
"Because if I didn't I would have killed you, Danni," he said, momentarily stunning her into silence. She couldn't even work her mouth enough to ask him to clear that little announcement up and she desperately wanted to know why.
"Your blood, Danni," he said simply as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I couldn't ignore it any longer, sweetheart. I had to shove you away or-"
"Risk draining me," she finished for him, her voice hollow as she registered what he was saying. It didn't take her long to figure it out thanks to her upbringing. "How long?"
Thankfully he understood what she meant. "Since the moment you walked into the hallway and started bossing me around," he said, chuckling softly as he pressed another kiss against her forehead. "It got worse as you aged until it became too much to ignore."
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, wondering how close he'd come. Probably very close if he had to push her away, she realized. Then a thought occurred to her. "You pushed me away because you cared about me?" she asked, trying not to get her hopes up.
"God, yes," he said, kissing her temple.
All these years she thought he hated her, grew bored with her when in reality he was only trying to protect her. It was sweet, really.
He let out a strangled shout of pain as she stomped down on his instep. "You bastard!" she snapped, shoving him down and when he moved to get up she slammed her foot down on his chest and shoved him back down.
"I could have protected myself!" she snapped, barely resisting the urge to kick him in the ass. "I didn't need you to play the martyr. If you had just told me, we could have figured out something together. You didn't need to break my heart, you jerk!"
"How exactly would you have done that, huh?" he asked as he grabbed her by the ankle and gave it a good pull and a slight twist that had her releasing another one of those embarrassing squeaks as she lost her balance and fell down. Thankfully, Caine caught her and quickly positioned her to straddle his stomach.
A piece of sheet separated them, but she could still feel heat radiating off of him and welcomed it. It was a chilly summer morning and this damn sheet wasn't doing much to keep her warm. Then again, the anger surging through her body was doing a pretty good job of boiling her blood.
"How were you going to handle a Pyte in full bloodlust? Pushing you away was the only way to keep you safe, Danni," he snapped as he sat up and wrapped his arms around her, keeping her right where she was when all she wanted to do was push him back to the ground and walk away, because god help her, but the man was-
Right.
She'd still been a kid when he shoved her away and there was no way she would have been able to handle him. If he wanted to kill her, he would have been able to and nothing and no one would have been able to stop him. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Someone could have shot him in the head or heart, but she would have probably been dead by the time they managed to get off a few rounds.
"Why didn't the Council punish me?" she asked, needing a change of topic before she completely lost it.
"It doesn't matter," he whispered as he pulled her against him, but she wasn't having it. There was something else that he wasn't telling her and she wanted to know what that something was.
She released her hold on the sheet so that she could reach up and cup his face. "Tell me, Caine."
For a moment he just stared into her eyes and she was afraid that she was going to have to kick his ass to get her answer when he looked away, clenching his jaw tightly before he sighed heavily and looked back at her.
"I took care of it."
"Took care of it.....," she repeated back slowly, wondering how exactly he took care of an order for execution.
"I took a punishment and a warning," he admitted with a shrug like it was no big deal, but she wasn't buying it. The council rarely changed their minds about something as serious as executing a human.
"What did they do to you?" she asked him.
When he didn't answer her, she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. "Please tell me what they did, Caine."
"There's no point, Danni. Just let it go," he said against her lips.
"No," she said stubbornly as she pulled back. "I want to know what happened, Caine, and I want to know about this warning they gave you and why no one approached me."
"It's cold out here and they'll be returning soon. We should go inside," he said, moving to shift her off his lap so that he could stand up, but she wasn't having it. He was going to answer her damn questions or freeze his balls off, it was his choice.
She wrapped her legs around his waist and held on tightly knowing that it would be impossible for him to get up with her like this. "You're not-hey!"
Damn floating Pytes!
With another one of those embarrassingly high squeaks that had him chuckling he allowed his legs to drop to the ground and simply walked her back towards the garage while she held on to him for dear life, not really sure what he was going to do next and admittedly a little nervous. She really needed him to teach her all these cool tricks, and soon.
"Tell me what happened!"
"No," the aggravating man said as he walked up the long driveway.
"I'm not kidding, Caine," she snapped
even as her mind raced to figure out a way to get him to open his mouth and spill his guts. She'd never had much luck in intimidating him and she doubted that much had changed since he turned her into a Pyte.
"I never thought that you were," he said in a patronizing tone as he pressed a quick kiss to the tip of her nose as she glared at the man.
"I hate you," she simply said.
He slowed down as he frowned down at her, actually looking a little hurt and making her feel kind of bad that she said that. "You hate me?"
Before she could answer him he sighed heavily. "Then I guess I shouldn't be carrying you," he said as he pulled her off of him and quickly placed her on her feet. Before she could get her bearings or figure out what the hell he was doing, he reached out and grabbed a handful of her sheet.
Tall, Dark & Heartless: A Pyte/Sentinel Series Novel Page 33