“I will get the ladder,” she said.
It seemed a long time before she came back, but she had the ladder. I grasped it and stumbled up, so eager to reach the top that I almost fell.
Her frightened eyes searched my face.
“That naughty girl! Oh, dear, I don’t know what will become of us all. You look so pale … so distrait.”
“Who would not, shut in that place! I’m forgetting to thank you for coming. I can’t tell you how …”
“Mademoiselle, will you come to my room? I will give you some good strong coffee. I would like to talk to you, too, if you will allow me.”
“It is good of you. But where is Genevieve?”
“You are angry, naturally. But I can explain.”
“Explain! What is there to explain? Did she tell you what she had done?”
The nurse shook her head.
“Please come to my room. It is easy to talk there. Please, I must speak to you. I want you to understand. Besides, it was a terrible ordeal. You are shocked. Who would not be?” She slipped her arm through mine.
“Come, mademoiselle, it is best for you.”
Still feeling dazed I allowed myself to be led away from that dreadful room which I was sure I should never willingly enter again. She had the soothing manner of one who has spent a lifetime looking after the helpless, and in my present mood her gentle authority was what I needed.
I did not notice where she was leading me but when she threw open a door to show me a small and cosy room I realized that we were in one of the newer wings.
“Now, you must lie down. Here on this sofa. So much more restful than sitting.”
“This isn’t necessary.”
“Forgive me, mademoiselle, it is very necessary. I am going to make you some coffee.” There was an open fire in her grate and on a hob a kettle was singing.
“Good hot strong coffee. It will help you to feel better. My poor mademoiselle, it has been terrible for you!”
“How did you know what had happened?”
She turned to the fire and busied herself with the coffee.
“Genevieve came back by herself. I saw by her face …”
“You guessed?”
“It happened before. There was one of the governesses. Not like you at all… A pretty young lady a little brazen perhaps, … Genevieve did the same thing to her. It was soon after her mother died … not long afterwards.”
“So she shut her governess in the oubliette as she did me. How long did she stay there?”
“Longer than you did. You see, as she was the first, I didn’t find out until some time. Poor young lady, she was fainting with fear. She refused to stay in the chateau after that… and that was the end of her as far as we were concerned.”
“You mean that girl makes a habit of this?”
“Only twice. Please, mademoiselle, do not excite your self. It is bad for you after what happened.”
“I want to see her. I shall make her understand …”
I realized that the reason I was so angry was because I had been near to panic and was ashamed of myself, disappointed and surprised. I had always believed myself to be so self-reliant and it was as though I had removed a film from a painting and found something unsuspected beneath. And here was another discovery, I was doing that which I had so often condemned in others turning my anger on someone because I was angry with myself. Of course Genevieve had behaved abominably but it was my own conduct that was upsetting me now.
Nounou came and stood beside the sofa, clasping her hands together and looking down at me.
“It is not easy for her, mademoiselle. A girl like her to lose her mother. I have tried to do my best.”
“She was devoted to her mother?”
“Passionately. Poor child, it was a terrible shock for her. She has never recovered from it. I trust you will remember that.”
“She is undisciplined,” I said.
“Her behaviour on the first occasion we met was intolerable, and now
this … I suppose I should have been left there indefinitely if you had not discovered what she had done.”
“No. She only wanted to frighten you, perhaps because you seemed so well able to take care of yourself and she, poor child, is so definitely not.”
“Tell me,” I said, ‘why is she so strange? “
She smiled with relief.
“That is what I want to do, mademoiselle, to tell you.”
“I should like to understand what makes her act as she does.”
“And when you do, mademoiselle, you will forgive her. You will not tell her father what has happened this afternoon? You will not mention it to anyone?”
I was unsure. I said promptly: “I certainly intend to speak to Genevieve about it.”
“But to no one else, I beg of you. Her father would be very angry and she dreads his anger.”
“Wouldn’t it be good for her to realize the wickedness of what she did? We shouldn’t pat her on the back and tell her nothing matters because you came and rescued me.”
“No, speak to her if you wish, but I must talk to you first. There are things I want to tell you.”
She turned away and busied herself at the table.
“About,” she said slowly, ‘her mother’s death. “
I waited for her to go on. She could not have been more eager to tell me than I was to hear. But she would not speak until she made the coffee. She left the brown jug to stand and came back to the couch.
“It was terrible … that to happen to a young girl of eleven. She was the one who found her dead.”
“Yes,” I agreed, ‘that would be terrible. “
“She used to go in and see her mother first thing in the morning.
Imagine a young girl going in and finding that! “
I nodded.
“But it was three years ago and terrible as it was it does not excuse her for locking me in that place.”
“She has never been the same since. She changed after wards. There were these fits of naughtiness in which she seemed to delight. It is because she misses her mother’s love; because she is afraid …”
“Of her father?”
“So you have seen that. At the same time there were the questions and inquiries. It was so bad for her. The whole household believed that he had done it. He had his mistress….”
“I see. The marriage was unhappy. Did he love his wife when they were first married?”
“Mademoiselle, he could only love himself.”
“And did she love him?”
“You have seen how he frightens Genevieve. Francoise was afraid too.”
“Was she in love with him when she married him?”
“You know how marriages are arranged between such families. But perhaps it is not so in England. In France among our noble families marriages are always arranged by the parents. Isn’t it so in England?”
“Not to the same extent. Families are apt to disapprove of a choice but I do not think the rules are so rigid.”
She shrugged her shoulders.
“Here is it so, mademoiselle. And Francoise was betrothed to Lothair de la Talle when they were in their teens.”
“Lothair …” I repeated.
“Monsieur Ie Comte. It is a family name, mademoiselle. There have always been Lothairs in the family.”
“It’s a king’s name,” I said.
“That is why.” She looked puzzled and I said quickly: “I’m sorry. Pray go on.”
“The Comte had his mistress as Frenchmen do. No doubt he was more fond of her than of his affianced bride, but she was not suitable to be his wife, and so my Francoise married him.”
“You were her nurse too?”
“I came to her when she was three days old, and was with her till the end.”
“And now Genevieve has taken her place in your affections?”
“I trust to be with her always as I was with her mother. When it happened I couldn’t believe it. Why should it have happen
ed to my Francoise? Why should she have taken her own life? It was unlike her.”
“Perhaps she was unhappy.”
“She did not hope for the impossible.”
“Did she know of his mistress?”
“Mademoiselle, in France these things are accepted. She was resigned.
She feared him; and I fancied she was glad of those visits to Paris.
When he was there . he was not in the chateau. “
“It does not sound to me like a happy marriage.”
“She accepted it.”
“And yet… she died.”
“She did not kill herself.” The old woman put her hands over her eyes and whispered as though to herself: “No, she did not kill herself.”
“But wasn’t that the verdict?”
She turned on me almost fiercely.
“What other verdict could there be except murder?”
“I heard it was an overdose of laudanum. How did she get it?”
“She often had toothache. I had the laudanum in my little cupboard and I used to give it to her. It soothed the toothache and sent her to sleep.”
“Perhaps she accidentally took too much.”
“She did not mean to kill herself. I am sure of it. But that was what they said. They had to … hadn’t they … for the sake of Monsieur Ie Comte?”
“Nounou,” I said, ‘are you trying to tell me that the Comte murdered his wife? “
She stared at me as though startled.
“You cannot say I said that, mademoiselle. I said no such thing. You are putting words into my mouth. “
“But if she did not kill herself… then someone must have.”
She turned to the table and poured out two cups of coffee.
“Drink this, mademoiselle, and you will feel better. You are overwrought.”
I could have told her that in spite of my recent unpleasant experience I was less overwrought than she, but I wanted to glean as much as I could, and I realized that I was more likely to do so from her than from anyone else.
She gave me the cup and then drew a chair up to the sofa and sat down beside me.
“Mademoiselle, I want you to understand what a cruel thing this was which happened to my little Genevieve. I want you to forgive her … to help her.”
“Help her? Z?”
“Yes, you can. If you will forgive her. If you will please not tell her father.”
“She is afraid of him. I sensed that.”
Nounou nodded.
“He paid attention to you at dinner. She told me. And in a different way he paid attention to the pretty young governess. Do please understand. It is something to do with her mother’s death. It brings it back to her. You see, there is gossip and she knew that there ^ was another woman.” :
“Does she hate her father?”
“It is a strange relationship, mademoiselle. He is so aloof. Sometimes she might not be there, for all the notice he takes of her. At others he seems to take a delight in taunt-I ing her. It’s as though he dislikes her, as though he’s disappointed in her. If he would show her a little affection . ” She lifted her shoulders.
“He is a strange, hard man, mademoiselle, and since the scandals he has become more so.”
“Perhaps he does not know what is said of him. Who would dare tell him of these rumours?”
“No one. But he is aware. He has been different since her death. He is no monk, mademoiselle, but he seems to have a contempt for women.
Sometimes I think he is a most unhappy man. “
Perhaps, I thought, it is not very good taste to discuss the master of the house with one of his servants; but I was avidly curious and could not have stopped myself had I wanted to. This was something else I was discovering about myself. I refused to listen to my conscience.
“I wonder he has not married again,” I said.
“Surely a man in his position would want a son.”
“I do not think he will marry again, mademoiselle. It is for that reason that he sent for Monsieur Philippe.”
“So he sent for Philippe?”
“Not long ago. I dare say Monsieur Philippe will be expected to marry and his son will have everything.”
“I find that very hard to understand.”
“Monsieur Ie Comte is hard to understand, mademoiselle. I have heard that he lives very gaily in Paris. Here he is much alone. He is melancholy and seems to take pleasure only in the discomfort of everyone else.”
“What a charming man!” I said scornfully.
“Ah, life is not easy at the chateau. And most difficult of all for Genevieve.” She laid her hand on mine; it was cold. I knew in that moment how dearly she loved her charge and how anxious she was.
“There is nothing wrong with her,” she insisted.
“These tantrums of hers … she will grow out of them. There was nothing wrong with her mother. A gentler, sweeter girl it would be difficult to find.”
“Don’t worry,” I said, “I shall not mention what happened to her father nor to anyone. But I think I should speak to her.”
Nounou’s face cleared.
“Yes, you speak to her… and if you should be in conversation with Monsieur Ie Comte … and could tell him .. say how clever she is at speaking English … how gentle she is how calm …”
“Her English would quickly improve, I’m sure. But I could scarcely call her calm.”
“Because it is said her mother took her own life, people are inclined to think she is highly strung.”
I thought she certainly was but did not say so. Oddly enough Nounou had brought me here to soothe me and I was ending by soothing her.
“Francoise was the most natural, normal little girl you could have met.” She set down her cup and going to the other side of the room returned with a wooden box inlaid with mother-of-pearl.
“I keep some of her things in here. I look at them some times to remind me. She was such a good child. Her governesses were delighted with her. I often tell Genevieve how good she was.”
She opened the box and took out a book bound in red leather.
“She pressed her flowers in this. She was fond of flowers. She’d roam through fields gathering them. And she would pick some from the gardens. There, look at that forget-me-not. You see this handkerchief?
She did that for me. Such pretty embroidery. She would embroider for me for Christmas and fete days and she’d always hide it when; I came near to keep it a surprise. Such a good, quiet girl. ‘s Girls like that don’t take their lives. She was good, and she was religious too. She had a way of saying her prayers that would make your heart ache; she used to decorate the chapel here herself. She would have thought it a sin to take her life. ” | ” Did she have brothers and sisters? ”
” No, she was an only child. Her mother was . not I strong. I nursed her too. She died when Francoise was nine years old, and Francoise was eighteen when she herself married. “
“And she was quite happy to marry?”
“I do not think she knew what marriage meant. I remember the night of the diner contrat. You understand, mademoiselle? Perhaps you do not have this in England? But here in France when two people are to marry, there are the contracts to be talked of and agreed on; and when this is done there is the diner contrat the dinner at the bride’s house, and there she dines with her family and the bridegroom and some members of his family, and afterwards the contracts are signed. She is very happy then, I think. She would be the Comtesse de la Talle and the de la Talles are the most important family and the richest for miles. It^was a good match, an achievement. Then there was the civil marriage and after that the marriage in church.”
“And after that she was less happy?”
“Ah, life cannot be all that a young girl dreams, mademoiselle.”
“Particularly married to the Comte de la Talle.”
“As you have said, mademoiselle.” She held out the box to me.
“But you see what a sweet girl she was, her pleasures so simpl
e. It was a shock to her to marry a man like the Comte.”
“The sort of shock many young girls have to face.”
“You speak truth, mademoiselle. She used to write in her little books, she called them. She liked to keep an account of the things that happened. I keep the little books.” She went to a cupboard, unlocked it with a key which dangled from a bunch at her waist, and took out a small notebook.
“This is the first. See how good her handwriting is.”
I opened the book and read: “May ist. Prayers with Papa and the servants. I repeated the collect to him and
he said I had made progress. I went to the kitchen and watched Marie baking the bread. She gave me a piece of sugar cake and said not to tell because she was not sup posed to be baking sugar cake. “
“A sort of diary,” I commented.
“She was so young. Not more than seven. How many of seven can write as well? Let me get you more coffee, mademoiselle. Look at the book. I often read it. It brings her back to me.”
I turned the pages, glancing at the large childish hand writing.
“I think I will make a tray-cloth for Nounou. It will take a long time but if it is not finished in time for her birthday she can have it for Christmas. “
“Papa talked to me today after prayers. He said I must always be good and try to forget myself.”
“I saw Mama today. She did not know who I was. Papa talked to me afterwards and said that she might not be with us much longer.”
“I have blue silks for the tray-cloth. I will find some pink as well. Nounou nearly saw it today.
That was very exciting. “
“I heard Papa praying in his room yesterday.
He called me in and made me pray with him. Kneeling hurts my knees, but Papa is so good he does not notice. “
“Papa said he will show me his greatest treasure on my next birthday. I shall be eight. I do wonder what it is.”
“I wish there were children to play with. Marie said that in the house where she used to work there were nine. All those brothers and sisters would be nice. There would be one who was my special one.”
“Marie made a cake for my birthday. I went to the kitchen to watch her make it.”
“I thought Papa’s treasure would be pearls and rubies but it is only an old robe with a hood. It’s black and smells fusty after being shut up. Papa said I must not mistake the shadow for the substance.”
King of the Castle Page 10