“I thought it was me pulling you up,” Desiree said.
“No, there was this feeling down deep that was gently nudging me to get up and go forward. You know I haven’t been to church in a good while. And when I have gone, I rarely ever went to the altar, even for general prayer. I especially wouldn’t have ever gone while visiting a church I’d never been to before.”
“What did you think of Pastor Landris?”
“He’s definitely different. I don’t know. I can’t help but wonder what kind of a scam he’s running, though. You know how I feel about preachers these days. Still, that prayer he prayed was pretty powerful. I felt something similar to electricity surge through my body when he touched my head with his hand.”
Desiree looked at Edwin. “I suppose we’ll have to see if anything happens for either of us,” she said.
It was now Tuesday night and Edwin hadn’t gone to the race track yet. That was a miracle in itself. Desiree had no way of telling whether he was changing or just forcing himself to stay away from the track. Either way, she was thankful. Yet, she could see he was definitely struggling with being at home instead of out gambling.
Edwin’s mind did wander every now and then to the track. The handout Pastor Landris had given all of them said to cast down imaginations. Whenever a wrong thought or an image came to his mind, he would divert his attention elsewhere. The past two days had truly been a wrestling match for him. And he now knew for sure that gambling had a stronghold on him. Pastor Landris had emphasized how God gave them dominion over everything and it was not the other way around. He had to be strong. However, he understood it was not through his own might, but through God’s might that he would be victorious.
“Baby-cakes, where’s the Bible?” Edwin asked around eight o’clock that night. He and Desiree had both signed up for the Deliverance support group. They would be meeting for the first time tomorrow night. He just needed to make it through one more night. On Wednesday, he could look forward to getting some reinforcement from the Bible study to cope with these strong feelings he was having.
Desiree went and got her Bible. “You’re going to read the Bible?” she asked. A sound of shock, although she seemed to be trying to mask it, laced her voice.
“Yeah. I’m working on that ‘bringing every thought into captivity’ part. Our handout said that God has thoughts in the Bible I can direct my mind to instead of what I usually think about. I figure the worse case scenario will be that while I’m reading, I end up falling asleep. Either way works for me.”
Desiree laughed. “You know you need to stop.”
“Desiree, now you know reading the Bible can put you to sleep, so don’t even try fronting with me. I’ve come home late many a night and found your Bible resting on your chest and you knocked out and calling hogs,” Edwin said with a grin as he referred to her snoring. “Let’s see now. How should I do this? Open the Bible to a page and see what page decides to speak to me, or be more methodical about it?”
He closed his eyes and said a quick prayer, then turned the Bible to Proverbs, the first chapter. “Thirty-one chapters, one chapter a night, and according to the handout, it takes twenty-one days to break a habit. I figure by the time I finish reading the book of Proverbs, I should be done with my gambling problem. My only real concern will be figuring out how to make it through the long weekends. Work manages to keep my mind occupied during the day through the week, but the weekends—that’s a whole lot of hours to fill with something other than my usual activity.”
“Don’t you worry about your weekends,” Desiree said with a mischievous grin. “I’ll make sure we find something to keep you occupied.” She stood up straight. “While you read the Bible, I think I’ll go get on the treadmill and work out for about forty-five minutes. Maybe you and I can start walking together after you get home from work?”
Edwin smiled. “Sounds good to me.”
Desiree leaned over and kissed him on his lips. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“I know this is hard for you.”
“No harder than yours is for you. You haven’t smoked. You’re watching what you eat. You’re exercising. We’re going to lick these strongholds, Desiree—together. It’s me and you against the world.”
“Correction: Me, you, and God against the world,” Desiree said. “And Jesus has already overcome the world.”
“Right.” Because I definitely won’t be able to do this on my own. I bet you my numbers hit tonight. I just know it. This is probably the night my regularly played numbers will come in as a straight trifecta. I just know it.
He began to read to himself. “Proverbs, chapter one, verse one: ‘The Proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel.’ Verse two: ‘To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding.’”
Oh yeah, this is going to be a long twenty-one days. A looong twenty-one days.
Chapter 5
And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils….
—Luke 8:2
“Faith, can you hear me?” Sapphire said as Charity lay on the couch in the therapist’s modestly furnished office. Charity was getting better, but they still hadn’t gotten to the root of her problem and her two other personalities were very much still intact.
“Faith, this is Sapphire. I need to speak with you. Will you please come out and talk with me? Faith. Come on. I know you can hear me.”
It had been almost an hour now, and Sapphire was becoming frustrated. “Hope, can you hear me? I need to speak with one of you. Come on, somebody talk to me.”
Trinity began to make a whimpering sound.
“Hope, is that you?”
“Yes, this is Hope.”
“Hope, this is Sapphire. I need to talk with you about Charity.”
“What do you need?”
“First, can you tell me why Faith refuses to talk to me?”
“Faith doesn’t trust you. She thinks what you’re trying to do is ultimately going to destroy Charity. And we both are aware that should you succeed, we will no longer be this powerful trinity we have become. Yet Faith, especially, does appreciate when you refer to us as Trinity. It makes her feel like we’re not being completely ignored or disrespected,” Hope said.
“Okay, Hope. I appreciate you for being willing to help. I’ve asked this before. Something happened when Charity was a young girl. Do you know what happened?”
Hope released a sigh. “I know the first part, but only Faith knows everything.”
“Can you tell me the part you know?”
Hope began to twist and turn. “No, no, no. Stop it! Stop it!”
“Hope, what’s wrong?”
“He’s there talking to Mother, and he’s hurting her again. Charity sees him and she’s telling him to stop. But Mother yells at Charity for her to go to her room and close the door. Instead, Charity goes outside to get Motherphelia. When Motherphelia comes inside, he’s being nice to Mother and Mother is playing it off like Charity got it all wrong. But Charity didn’t get it wrong.”
“Okay, Hope. You’re doing very well. Hope, do you know who this man is?”
Hope began to twist again. “Stop it, Faith! Stop it. Let me tell her what I know.”
“Faith, Faith? This is Sapphire. Can you hear me, Faith? I’m trying to help. I’m trying to help all of you. This is going to help Charity heal. I’m only trying to help.”
“No, you’re not. You’re trying to destroy our very existence,” Faith said.
“Faith, I’m not trying to destroy anyone,” Sapphire said. “Charity deserves to be healed, and she can’t do it without facing her demons—the demons of what happened that caused this—and coming to terms with it all.”
“Charity can’t handle it. I know she can’t. And I believe I know her better than you, and what’s best for her, better than you.”
“What makes you think she can’t handle it? Charity is a s
trong woman. Look at all she has accomplished so far, without anyone’s assistance.”
“Charity was standing up there Sunday at the altar. Did you see her? I guess she thinks Hope and I are her strongholds. She wants to get rid of us, and much of this is your doing. We were all doing fine before all of you Jesus freaks started poking your noses in our business.”
“Faith, all of you were not doing fine. Charity’s mind was and still is being tormented.”
“Oh, I guess you blame me for that? I didn’t create myself. Charity needed me. Don’t you get it? She allowed this blessed trinity to develop in order to cope.”
“She has the Trinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. This is the true, blessed Trinity. This trinity can help Charity if only you’d let go and allow them in completely to heal her. Help me instead of fighting against me,” Sapphire said. “Work with me, Faith.”
“Where’s Dr. Holden? I’ll talk to Dr. Holden and tell him.”
“Dr. Holden is taking time off for the next few weeks.”
“I’ll speak with Dr. Holden, and only him. I don’t trust you, Sapphire. You know this. If you want me to tell what I know, you get Dr. Holden for me and I’ll tell him.”
Sapphire sat back in her chair. “Right.” She and Dr. Holden had had a long talk earlier on Monday when she came in to work. Sapphire had no idea something was going on in his life. She knew he was a hard worker, but he confessed to her how he’d become a workaholic to the point his wife had left him and taken their four children with her. To prove to his wife that he was a changed man who had seen the errors of his ways, he was taking off the next three weeks to spend time with his own family. There was no way Sapphire was going to call him in. And even if she did, according to him, he wasn’t going to allow anything or anyone to interfere with proving to his wife he meant what he’d promised so many times before but hadn’t followed through on. He only came in to work on Monday to clear up his calendar.
“Faith, Dr. Holden won’t be back for another three weeks. There’s no reason for you to be this way. You and I can work this out; you know I care about you.”
“You don’t care about me!” Faith said. “You only care about Charity and maybe Hope a little, although you’re still willing to sacrifice Hope’s existence in order to save our sweet little Charity. So don’t be using that psychology junk on me. I’m the ultimate professional when it comes to mind games.”
“Is that how you convinced Charity she needed you?” Sapphire stood up. “Using mind games? You do know there are other ways I may be able to help Charity without your cooperation, don’t you?”
“Yeah, probably. But can you be certain Charity will truly remember? And you really need to ask yourself whether or not she truly needs the information I hold in order to be made whole. See, the way I calculate things: if you’re wrong and I’m gone for good, what I know will be lost forever. Once I’m gone, I’m not coming back, even if you both beg me to. So the question you must ask yourself is: Is what I know about what happened so important that Charity not ever knowing it could end up ultimately destroying her completely? What if what I know sends her to a place of no return?”
“I think you may be underestimating Charity. What if she decides to integrate without you telling me anything, and then what you remember becomes part of her memory again without you? I believe it would be better for all concerned if you were to just tell me what you know since you seem to have handled this information so well all of these years. Personally, I believe in Charity. And believe it or not, I truly do believe in the power of you three becoming one again.”
“Get Dr. Holden for me, and I will tell him everything I know,” Faith said. “Everything. Get him and we can proceed from there.”
And then she was gone.
Charity came out of it and slowly sat up. “What happened?” she asked Sapphire.
“Well, I got Faith to talk to me this time around.”
“Did she tell you—?”
“No. She refuses to tell me anything, but she did say she would tell Dr. Holden.”
“That’s good, isn’t it? Or do you think she’s stringing you along again like she did the time before?”
Sapphire smiled and shook her head. “I don’t know what she’s up to. But I did tell her I feel you may be able to remember on your own. And it’s possible, Charity. If you were to reconnect…to integrate your personalities back into just you, you would remember everything without Faith’s cooperation.”
“Yet the question remains: Can I handle knowing it? Can I handle it, Sapphire? To be honest with you, I’m just not so sure that I can.”
Chapter 6
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
—James 1:14
Bentley Strong was glad he had signed up for the Deliverance support group. He was still having major problems even though he had been prayed for. After he’d gone to the altar about his stronghold, he went home and, later that night, gathered up all his magazines, books, tapes, and DVDs with pornography. Around 3 A.M., he drove them to a Dumpster near an apartment complex away from his upscale neighborhood. It was difficult to throw away so many years of collecting. It took him four trips carrying large boxes to his car to get everything out of his house. But he refused to take a chance on Marcella catching him and learning about his problem. She just could never know.
That’s what made him go up front on Sunday. That and what Pastor Landris said.
“You don’t have to tell anybody what you’ve done or what you’re doing right now. That’s between you and God,” Pastor Landris had said. “Just come and bring it with you to the altar. Take that first step, why don’t you?”
Pastor Landris had also told them while in the conference room that everybody’s manifestation may not be immediate. He advised them it might take some work on their part. But that was okay. “Just trust in the Holy Spirit as you do your part. God will work out the rest,” Pastor Landris said.
Bentley was definitely struggling. Even with everything out of his house, he found his television still had the Playboy channel (with a special access code to unlock it, of course). He had called to have that channel taken off, but naturally it hadn’t been done immediately—just a ploy of the devil. Two days later, he found himself unlocking the channel for a mere few minutes of a glance that turned into two hours of intense gawking.
Before Wednesday, he had thought about not going to the Deliverance support Bible study; he didn’t want anyone knowing he possibly had a problem he couldn’t beat. But he knew if he didn’t go, he would be right back where he had started from, if not worse.
“If any of you are dealing with any type of an addiction,” Minister Jackson said during Wednesday night’s Bible study, “you must rid your house and your immediate access of all forms of that temptation. Don’t give the devil any room to enter in. All it takes is a crack to get a toe in the door. And that’s all Satan needs, to get his toe in the door. If you’re serious about getting rid of a stronghold, you can’t be playing around. If you’re subject to smoking, then place cigarettes out of your reach. Don’t keep one around for emergencies. If you drink, remove all forms of alcohol from your house. Don’t even keep wine in the kitchen cabinet for cooking. If you’re prone to gossip, stay off the telephone, especially when it’s someone you know you’re going to start up with. If pornography is your problem, you need to turn your eye gates and ear gates away. Don’t try to sneak a little look. There’s no such thing as a little look. When you’re feeling tempted in an area, take out your Bible and start reading it. Beat your stronghold with the Word.” He held up his oversized Bible.
People began to snicker and giggle quietly.
“I’m serious. That’s a great way to consciously break yourself of anything. Put your attention on something else. As soon as your mind goes to the wrong thing, go get your Bible, sit down, and start reading as long as the other thing is trying to rear its iron head inside your
mind. If you’re really being pulled in an area, you could end up a Bible scholar in no time flat using this strategy. I know it sounds like I’m trying to make a joke, but reading the Bible will take your mind off what’s trying to get your attention. If it’s not appropriate to read the Bible, then quote scriptures you have memorized. You’ll be replacing negative thoughts with what God says. It doesn’t get any better than that.”
So that’s what Bentley tried doing over the next few days. And he found himself reading his Bible a lot.
Then it happened.
He was on the Internet, and those e-mails kept coming and coming with subjects that couldn’t help but draw his attention. He fought and fought, but before he knew anything, he had clicked open an e-mail, and there it was—a photo inside the e-mail. He mulled over how underhanded this was, especially with the number of children on-line daily. The thought began to disgust him. He had a child of his own on the way.
Sitting there staring at the photo that some sicko had e-mailed him trying to entice his patronage to see more (at a cost, of course) by clicking on a link, he realized how little these people really cared about anybody other than themselves. And if he continued on this path, he was part of the problem and not part of the solution. If there was not a market for it, and a lucrative one at that, then these scumbags wouldn’t go to such lengths to get e-mails into people’s in-boxes who didn’t even request it to begin with as they seek out old and new blood to contaminate.
He logged off the Internet and went downstairs to find his wife. “Marcella, I need to talk to you about something,” he said.
Marcella was chopping bell peppers. She stopped and looked up.
“I don’t know quite how to begin. I have a serious problem, and I need help.”
Marcella put down the knife, rinsed off her hands, and walked over to her husband as she dried her hands. “What is it?” She had a look of fear on her face as she waited.
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