Running to Stand Still

by J Theron

  Danielle and Marco gaped at him and Danielle was the first one able to form coherent words. “Your hair,” she gasped. “You cut all your hair off!”

  Michael grinned at her as he brushed his palm over his very short hair. “Yeah. It was time.” It was slightly mussed from running his fingers through it. “Do you like it, Danni?”

  She jumped up and grabbed his face to kiss him hard. “I Love it. You look like you did when I first met you!”

  Michael laughed and hugged her. “That was the idea. Call it a new beginning of sorts….Shall we kick Marco out and you can show me exactly how much you love it?”

  Danielle laughed and pushed him away. “Marco came here to speak to you. I’m going out. I’ll see you later.”

  She grabbed her bag and decided to walk the short distance to the main street. She wanted to do some shopping and she knew Michael needed to speak to Marco. She could tell they were very close and she felt responsible for their misunderstanding.

  It was late afternoon when she returned home. She walked up the stairs to look for Michael and she found him painting. She stopped in her tracks when she saw it was a painting of her when she was sixteen years old. It was sunrise, her favourite part of the day, and she was sitting on the beach in Jeffreys Bay. She was smiling and her long hair was blowing around her face.

  “Michael, it’s beautiful.” Danielle stood next to Michael and stared at the painting, mesmerised.

  “You are beautiful, my Danielle,” he said softly as he turned to kiss her. “This is how I remembered you. All the years we were apart I had this image of you in my head. But this is the last one.”

  “What do you mean the last one?” she asked in confusion.

  “From now on I will paint you as you are now. I want to show you something.”

  He took her hand and walked to the back of the studio. He opened a door that she barely noticed before and turned on the light. She gasped when she saw the contents of the room. It held ten paintings of her when she was fifteen and sixteen, one for every year they were apart.

  “I didn’t want to make these paintings public so I held onto them. These are my most prized possessions. I’ll never sell them.”

  “So this is what they were talking about,” Danielle said in wonder.

  “What do you mean?” Michael asked.

  “Pierre and Lucienne. They both alluded to the fact that I looked familiar,” she replied.

  “When did you meet Pierre?” he asked with a perplexed look his face.

  “Your exhibition at his gallery. He approached me and seemed to recognise me. I assume it’s from the paintings.” She gestured at the paintings as she spoke.

  “I’ve only showed him once, a few months ago. He wanted to see my whole collection, but I was under the impression he lost interest when I told him these weren’t for sale. He clearly has quite a remarkable memory,” Michael murmured.

  “Did you show Lucienne as well?” Danielle asked. She tried, but could not keep the slight note of jealousy from her voice.

  “No. I assume she came in here when I was busy elsewhere. She never let on that she saw these paintings.” He seemed annoyed at the thought and Danielle felt childishly appeased.

  “These are so beautiful, and so vastly different from your other work. I’m blown away that you did this,” she whispered. “I don’t know what else to say.”

  “Say you will love me forever,” he said as he peered into her green eyes.

  Danielle had to swallow hard not to cry. She kissed Michael gently on the lips before saying, “How can I not? You are my soul. I cannot exist without my soul.”

  He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed. They slowly undressed, savouring each other. They made love until the early hours of the morning before falling asleep in each other’s arms. They were exhausted, content and irreversibly in love.

  CHAPTER 13

  Danielle and Michael fell into a pattern of contented bliss. He only painted late at night when she was sleeping. During the day they would spend hours driving through the country side and he would take her to all the quaint villages and out of the way inns and restaurants where they would spend hours completely mesmerised by each other’s company. They took turns cooking dinner when they decided to stay home and Danielle realised Michael was the better cook. She told herself that he lived alone in France for years and it was only natural. It made her feel slightly better.

  They were lying in bed in the studio a week later when Michael turned to Danielle. It was still early evening and not quite dark outside yet. “Can we go back to Marco’s nightclub tonight? It’s his birthday and I would like to go.” They were lying on their sides, facing each other and he was caressing her back.

  “Of course! Why would you even have to ask?” She was frowning.

  “Because I suspect Adele and Lucienne will be there. We move in the same circle of friends.” He widened his eyes as he waited for her to respond.

  “Really? Shit! I can’t face those two,” she said in exasperation. “Why don’t you go without me? I really won’t mind. I can watch TV and amuse myself with the French version of The Bold and the Beautiful!”

  “I want you with me, Danni.” He made a little boy face and she capitulated.

  “Okay, but I’m not taking nonsense from those two,” she said firmly.

  “I did not for one second imagine that you would!”

  Michael kissed Danielle hungrily before pushing her away gently. He rose from the bed and proceeded to pick up his jeans that lay discarded on the floor. She turned on her back and watched him as he bent over naked. She could not get enough of him and she was starting to think she was becoming addicted to him.

  “I’ll go on one condition. You have to fuck me in the nightclub,” Danielle said nonchalantly. She watched with amusement as Michael dropped the pants he was holding and gaped at her. It took a few seconds to regain his composure and then a slow smiled spread across his face.

  “What exactly do you want me to do?”

  He sauntered back to the bed and she could not tear her eyes away from his naked body. He came to a stop next to the bed and he stood with arms folded, grinning at her.

  “I’ll tell you when we get there.” She was stretching with her arms above her head and she smiled as he devoured her with his eyes.

  “Okay. I’ll play.” He had a wicked grin on his face. He turned around and picked up his jeans again. “I’m taking a shower. Do you want to join me?”

  Danielle slowly shook her head. “Not this time, Mikey boy. I have other plans.”

  Michael narrowed his eyes and smiled. “As you wish, baby.”

  Danielle decided to wear a white silk button blouse with short sleeves and a thin black cashmere jersey over the blouse. She chose a short black skirt that flared slightly and black shoes with killer heels and a thin strap around her ankles. Michael was watching her surreptitiously as they drove to the nightclub and he did not mention her earlier comment again. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, a grey fitted V-neck sweater and a black leather jacket. His short hair was slightly mussed as usual and he had two day old stubble on his face. He looked dangerous and sexy and she wanted to rip his clothes off.

  When they arrived at the club they walked straight to the entrance, past the queue and Danielle felt self-conscious as the people in the queue watched them with undisguised hostility. Michael greeted Francois and exchanged a few words in French that she could not follow. Francois shook his head and Michael looked relieved. She knew immediately what or rather whom the conversation was about. She waved at Francois as Michael dragged her into the club and Francois winked at her before turning back to face the people outside with a scowl on his face.

  “I gather my two best friends aren’t here?” Danielle shouted into Michael’s ear as they made their way through the crowd to the bar.

  The music was very loud and she struggled to raise her voice above the music and noise of the crowd of people. The music was a bit
softer as they reached the bar area and it was easier to talk. She sat down on one of the high bar stools and he stood close to her side, his hand resting on her shoulder.

  He shook his head. He bent down and spoke close to her ear, “They aren’t here but they’re coming. Sorry Danni!”

  “I need a drink to deal with them!” She made a face to emphasise her enmity.

  “Okay baby, but not tequila!” He wagged his finger at her as if admonishing her.

  Danielle narrowed her eyes and then a determined look crossed her face. “I want tequila.”

  Michael laughed. “I knew you were going to say that!” He turned to the bartender and ordered tequila shots. “This time I’m drinking with you, so I guess it is okay.” He was watching her as he licked the salt from the back of his hand before downing the shot. He sucked the lemon and dumped the peel in his shot glass.

  “Tell me a bit about your plans for tonight. I’m interested….” His voice trailed off as he downed another shot.

  Danielle had a serious expression on her face as she leaned closer to him to whisper in his ear, “I’m not wearing any underwear.” She laughed as he almost spat the contents of the shot over the bar counter.

  “As in nothing?”

  “Nope.” She shook her head and took off her cashmere jersey.

  Michael looked at her chest and he noticed the outline of her breasts through the silk blouse. The top buttons were undone and her cleavage was just visible. “I cannot believe I didn’t notice you’re not wearing a bra.” He looked perplexed.

  She leaned forward and pulled him to stand between her legs. She opened her legs and placed her hands on his ass as she pulled him closer. She felt enormous satisfaction at the sound of his harsh breathing.

  “You’re a bad girl. I don’t think I’d like other men staring at you breasts.” He was leaning forward and he brushed the back of his other hand over her nipples. The feather light touch shot straight through her and she could hardly catch her breath.

  “It’s for you only. I was wearing my jersey and nobody will see anything now, with me sitting down. Please, I need you to touch me.”

  Danielle watched the desire flit over Michael’s face. He turned so that his body shielded hers and pushed his hand under her skirt. She shifted and opened her legs slightly as his hand travelled up her thigh.

  She had to bite her lower lip to stop from crying out when he touched her. She was no longer thinking rationally and she almost did not register when he whispered in a voice thick with desire, “Drink a shot of tequila, baby.”

  She took the shot glass and threw her head back to down the fiery liquid. She gasped as he slipped his index finger inside her when the liquid burned down her throat.

  “Let’s go to the dance floor,” Michael spoke in Danielle’s ear, all the while moving his finger in and out in an agonisingly slow caress. “I’m going to continue this on the dance floor. Put your jersey back on and do up the buttons.”

  He pulled his hand from underneath her skirt and watched as she buttoned up her jersey. He grabbed her hand and pulled her from the barstool into the mass of people on the dance floor. She would have hated the crowd around her under normal circumstances, but now she welcomed it. The dance floor was so packed that their interaction was lost to the casual observer.

  Danielle was almost as tall as Michael because of her high heels. He placed both hands on her ass and pulled her closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hungrily. She could feel his arousal and her breasts were rubbing against his chest. He touched her again, his hand sliding underneath her skirt.

  “Danielle, what is it that you do to me? I can’t breathe.” Michael sounded almost desperate and she became oblivious to the people around them. It was as if time stood still. There were hundreds of people around them but the only person she saw, heard and felt was Michael.

  She could feel when he surreptitiously unbuttoned his fly, but his actions were hidden because their bodies were so close together. He freed his erection, carefully lifted her skirt, and in one swift motion buckled his knees to enter her. He was moving to the rhythm of the music and it seemed as if they were dancing. He placed his hands on her face and kissed her deeply, his tongue mimicking the movement of his lower body. She kept her arms around his neck to steady herself because she was afraid her knees might give. Their climax came simultaneously and she pressed her face in his neck to muffle her cry of release.

  Danielle had no idea how much time passed, but she slowly became aware of her surroundings and the masses of people moving around them. He withdrew and she could feel the trickle of fluid down her legs. “I need to go to the bathroom. Wait for me at the bar,” she said in an unsteady voice. She kissed him before pushing through the crowd to the bathroom. He stood motionless, staring after her when he felt a hand gripping his ass.

  “I’m impressed, Michael. I never figured you for the type who would fuck a woman in public,” Adele said in a loud voice so that Michael could hear her above the music. She circled around him and came to a stop in front of him. She still had her hand on his ass but he pushed her hand away in irritation and narrowed his eyes as he stared at her.

  “Her name is Danielle and I’m in love with her,” he said in an almost menacing voice. Adele gaped at him as he leaned forward to speak close to her ear. “You will not speak of her again.” He turned around and started to walk away when she grabbed his arm.

  “She’s going back to South Africa soon. I’m here in Avignon. We had something once and we can have it again. I’ve never forgotten our night together. I’ve never been fucked so thoroughly. I’m aroused just thinking about it.” Adele pushed against Michael and she was rubbing her breasts against his arm.

  “It will never happen again. I’m prepared to have a civilised relationship with you because we move in the same circle of friends, but I’m with Danielle. I love her!” He enunciated the last three words, his blue eyes pinning her to the spot.

  “She will never be able to satisfy you like I can,” she countered nastily.

  He pushed her away and the distaste was evident on his face. “Let it go, Adele.”

  She resisted as he pulled his arm from her grip, but he was not deterred. When he turned around he realised Danielle was standing at the bar and watching the exchange with an unreadable expression on her face. Michael turned his back on Adele and walked towards Danielle. He came to a stop in front of her and studied her face trying to gauge her mood.

  “I’m sorry, Danni. She approached me on the dance floor. I tried to get away but she wouldn’t let go of my arm.” Michael took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

  “It’s okay. I saw what happened. I actually feel sorry for her. I can see that she’s in love with you. I still don’t trust her though. There’s something about her that makes my hackles rise.” Danielle kissed him tenderly on the lips. “Let’s forget about her. Where’s Marco? We have to wish him a happy birthday! I haven’t seen him all night. It’s unusual for him not to show his face in the club.”

  “I think he’s hiding in his office. Let’s go drag him out of there,” Michael said enthusiastically.

  They walked through one of the side doors that led to a corridor where Marco’s office was located. Michael did not knock but opened the door to Marco’s office only to stop dead in his tracks and hastily close the door again. He turned to Danielle who stood behind him and could not hide the grin on his face.

  “Uhm, Marco’s busy…” Michael looked uncomfortable and grabbed her hand. “I think we should come back later. Much, much later!” Michael dragged Danielle behind him, but she resisted.

  “Don’t tell me he has a girl in there,” she exclaimed laughingly.

  “Well it’s definitely not a guy, I can tell you that much,” he replied, equally amused.

  She stopped dead in her tracks and she had a wicked grin on her face. “You know, Marco has given me an idea. I see a lot of doors and a lot of empty offices. Maybe we should see if one of
them has a couch.”

  Michael turned around to look at her. “You’re a very bad girl indeed. But I like it.” He opened the nearest door and pulled the laughing Danielle into the dimly lit office. They also did not come out until much, much later.

  PART THREE

  I have long suspected that fate hated me with a venomous passion. Now I know this to be true….

  CHAPTER 14

  It was winter in Cape Town. Danielle had been back for a month and she had started her residency at Groote Schuur Hospital. It was growing dark, it was raining and the wind was so strong it made the rain sweep in horizontally. She was soaking wet as she walked from the old main building to the new hospital, but she deliberately did not want to take the underground tunnel. The rain and ice cold wind made her feel alive. She merely existed since she left France to come back to Cape Town and the sensation that she could not breathe was worse when she was in enclosed spaces. She looked up at where she knew Table Mountain was supposed to be, but it was entirely covered in clouds and only the foot of the mountain was visible.

  She had not heard from Michael in two days and was getting worried. He religiously called her every night and the two days of silence was unusual. Her throat constricted when she thought of her last night in Avignon. They had spent almost every waking moment together while she was there and leaving Michael was the hardest thing she had ever done. He had asked her if she wanted him to come back to South Africa with her, but she expressly forbade him. She was terrified that he would end up resenting her if he had to give up his life for her.

  Michael told her he was prepared to do anything to make it work, but he could tell that Danielle did not feel the same. They had one of their worst fights and she saw something in his eyes that scared her. Her greatest fear was that she had caused a rift between them.

  Danielle was bone tired. She was on call the previous night and she spent the whole night in theatre. The academic ward round took forever that morning and she struggled to stay upright. She had finished her work for the day and she was looking forward to going home. She had a modern, three bedroom apartment in Camps Bay which she bought with some help from her father. It also helped that the owner was desperate to sell and priced it for a quick sale. Her bedroom overlooked the ocean and she was in love with the view the moment she laid eyes on it.