by J Theron
Michael looked up and into his father’s eyes. “What secret?”
“I knew you were in love with Danielle before you left for Paris. I also knew that Thomas thought he was in love with her. I have always known since you were children that you and Thomas were two very different people. You were a very intense boy and Thomas cruised through life without thinking too much about the consequences of his actions. I could see the situation with Danielle was a ticking time bomb, but I had no idea how to diffuse it. Your mother was the one who always smoothed everything over. I don’t know how to keep the peace. I’m so used to fighting in my professional life it’s hard to be the opposite in my personal life.”
Michael frowned as he listened to his father. “Where are you going with this, Dad?”
“I never blamed you for going to Paris to study, Michael. I knew it was something you had dreamed about since you first picked up a paint brush. I was immensely proud when you were accepted at École nationale supérieure des Beaux-Art.” Pete walked back to his desk and sat on the edge before he continued. “I didn’t want you to go to Paris because I knew you were like me. I met your mother when I was seventeen and I have never looked at another woman again. We only love one woman and I knew you loved Danielle. I didn’t want you to regret leaving her behind.”
“Why have you never told me this before?”
“You wouldn’t have listened. You were young and headstrong. I let you go hoping you would realise your mistake and come back.” Pete gave a rueful smile. “I did not keep account of the one trait you inherited from your mother.”
“What is that?”
“Pride.”
Michael stared at his father. For the first time he was beginning to understand what motivated his father’s actions. He sat down slowly in one of the large wingback chairs in front of his father’s desk.
“I did come back for her a few years later and I sat in front of her student house like a crazy stalker, spying on her as Thomas kissed her in the garden.”
“You gave up on Danielle once before and you have the same look in your eyes now.”
Michael shrugged. “I feel as if I’m running to stand still, Dad. Every time we get together something pulls us apart. I’m tired. I came to Jeffreys Bay to say goodbye to Danielle and my baby. I’m going back to Avignon for a while until she’s better.”
“Don’t run away to France. You have a daughter now.”
“I’m not running away. I’m coming back. I want Danielle to get better without feeling pressured by my presence.”
“Okay. I will support your decision if you believe it is best.”
“Thanks.” Michael rose from the chair and stared at his father for a long time. “I’m sorry you lost Mom.”
“I am too. But she gave me you. I love you, Michael. Now that you have a child you will understand that I have always loved you unconditionally. I’m sorry if I did not say it enough. Now go and see your wife and daughter.”
Michael nodded and turned to exit the study. He needed to see Danielle, but he needed to speak to Thomas first.
He walked down to the beach and searched for Thomas in the water. He spotted Thomas and sat down on the sand to watch him surf. Memories of their childhood washed over him. He remembered the night after their mother died when he heard Thomas crying in his room in the middle of the night. He got into bed with Thomas and held him while he cried. When Thomas was asleep he left and they never talked about it after that. He thought of the bully who used to pick on Thomas when he was ten. Michael waited for the boy after school and punched him in the mouth. The boy never bothered Thomas again.
He was deep in thought when he noticed Thomas was paddling out of the water. He got up and waited for Thomas as he stepped into the shallows.
Thomas eyed him wearily. “What do you want?”
Michael brushed his hand over his face. He focused on Thomas and stared at him intently. “We need to talk, Thomas.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you. You’re my little brother. I miss you,” he replied simply.
Thomas was momentarily speechless. He dropped his surfboard, unzipped his wetsuit and folded his arms over his chest. “Okay. Talk, I’m listening.”
Michael sat on the sand and patted next to him. “Please sit down.” Michael watched as Thomas shrugged out of his wetsuit and pulled his board shorts on underneath his towel.
Thomas sat down next to Michael and peered at the horizon. “I didn’t come here to mess with Danni.”
Michael sighed. “I know.”
Thomas turned abruptly to face Michael. “It has never been the same between us. Everything changed when you kissed her. You were my big brother, my hero. I trusted you more that anyone in the world. You knew how much I loved her. Why did you do that to me, Michael? It took me years to get over Danni.”
“I met her first, Thomas. Didn’t you know that? I met her the summer before. You and Carin were away that summer. I was alone in Jeffreys Bay and we spent every waking hour together. I fell in love with her before you even knew her!”
“What are you talking about? Neither you nor Danni spoke about your time together. I realised that you knew each other before Danni and I became close, but I assumed it was a passing acquaintance. You have always been so secretive! This could have been prevented if you just opened your mouth and talked to me!”
“I know. I’m sorry. I need you to understand that I never meant to go behind your back. I even stopped writing to Danni when I was in the army when I realised that you had fallen in love with her.”
Thomas looked perplexed. “You wrote to her?”
Michael grinned. “I think I must have written about thirty letters over a one year period, but I only mailed a few. The rest is in a box, in my closet, in Avignon. When I came back home that summer I vowed to stay away from her. And I managed. Almost. Until that last day. It killed me, Thomas. I felt like I had to choose between you and Danni. In the end I chose you. I walked away.”
Thomas sighed. “I’m sorry, Michael. I never knew.”
“I just wanted you to understand. After I left South Africa we never really connected again and we have been in limbo ever since. Talking on the phone on birthdays and holidays doesn’t really count. I really want for us to be close like we used to be.”
Thomas leaned closer and gave Michael an awkward one armed man hug. “Only if you hook me up with some hot French chicks.”
Michael slapped him on the back. “What are big brothers for?”
CHAPTER 24
It was summer in Avignon and Michael was standing on the roof of the Palais des Papes. It was one of Danielle’s favourite places and he visited it often because it made him feel closer to her. He had been back in Avignon for three months and the constant ache in his chest was ever present. He had not spoken to Danielle in weeks because it was too upsetting to hear her voice devoid of the love and passion that they shared. The uncertainty of the future of their relationship was taking its toll. He had difficulty sleeping and he resumed sleeping in his studio. He had lost count of how many nights he spent painting because sleep eluded him.
He tried not to think of the disastrous few days in Jeffreys Bay before he returned to France. Danielle was distant and he realised he had to leave. She was pushing him away and he had no clue how to rectify the situation. He only knew his presence was counterproductive. He missed Michaela and he was saddened by the fact that he was not present for all of her early milestones.
Michael exited the Palais des Papes and decided to have lunch in his favourite restaurant. He sat at the table where Danielle sat when he saw her for the first time in Avignon. He grinned as he sipped his wine and thought back on that afternoon. His heart stopped completely when he looked up and saw her sitting at the table eating lunch by herself. She seemed pensive and when she looked up and straight at him, he had to control the urge to jump up and run to her. He felt strangely disappointed when she looked away again and he realised she did not rec
ognise him.
When he finally managed to compose himself enough to approach her, he promised himself he would only say hello and then walk away. The moment she recognised him, he could see the elation in her eyes and he knew he was deluding himself. He was a sad case indeed.
He stared at the plate in front of him. He did not have much of an appetite. He had been cycling every day to rid himself of the excess energy and frustration and the combination of poor appetite and too much exercise made him lose weight. He was contemplating sending the food back to the kitchen when he was startled out of his reverie by a soft female voice that came from across his table.
“Hello Michael. I heard you were back in Avignon.”
He frowned as he looked up. He was not in the mood for company, especially not when said company went by the name of Adele Jones.
“Hello Adele. How are you?”
“I’m better now that you’re back,” she said. “May I join you?”
Michael sat back in his chair and sighed. “If you like. I’m not very good company at present.”
Adele sat down and fiddled with the sleeve of her white silk blouse. “I have a confession to make. I came here hoping to find you. I know you come here frequently.”
“I figured as much,” he said with a wry smile on his face.
“I was in Marco’s club the other night and I overheard him talking to Francois. I realised you were back and when I asked him about you he refused to tell me anything.”
“I’m glad Marco learns from his mistakes!”
“Don’t be like this!” she said pleadingly.
“I’m sorry. I told you I’m not good company. Do you mind if we do this another time?”
Adele reached across the table and grabbed his hand. “I’ve missed you. Why did you come back? I see you’re wearing a wedding ring. Please tell me you didn’t get married to that stuck-up, I-think-I -am-so-smart bitch? ”
“Be very careful. She is my wife.” His voice was pleasant but there was no mistaking the warning tone behind it.
“Where is she? Did she dump you for her career again? She never deserved you! You need someone who understands your needs.”
“And what exactly are those needs, Adele? I assume you think you know.” Michael was staring at her intently and he absentmindedly noticed that she looked beautiful in the white silk blouse and long black pants. Her thick, blonde hair was arranged in a stylish chignon and her nails were painted a vivid red colour, matching her lipstick.
“Let me back into your life. You won’t be sorry.” She was breathing deeply and he could tell she was upset.
He studied her and for a brief moment contemplated what it would be like to be with her again. The thought left him cold. He was very attracted to her in the beginning and he would be lying if he said he did not enjoy their night together, but Danielle has cured him of all and any thoughts of other women.
“I’m in love with you, Michael,” she said with tears in her eyes.
He felt sorry for her. He was no stranger to the pain of loving someone from afar. It had caused him years of agony and in a way shaped him into the person he had become. “I know. It is the only reason I’ve tolerated your behaviour towards Danielle.” Michael gently squeezed her hand before withdrawing it from her grasp. “I have to go. I’ll see you around.” He pushed back his chair and dropped some notes on the table.
He hesitated briefly before saying, “I know you’re not the malicious person you pretend to be. I have often wondered what happened to you to turn you into the person you are. I know something happened with Marco’s brother. Don’t let it define your life. If you let your guard down you will find someone. Unfortunately that person can’t be me. I’m destined to love Danielle.”
He rose from the table and smiled at her before he turned to walk away without a backward glance. Adele stared at his retreating back and it finally dawned on her that she would never be with him again.
Michael unlocked his front door and struggled to rid himself of the feeling of melancholy which overcame him whenever he entered his house. Danielle was ever present in his mind and everything around him reminded him of her. He walked to his studio and kicked off his shoes and pulled his white T-shirt over his head, leaving him barefoot and clad only in a pair of jeans. It was an uncharacteristically hot day in Avignon and his studio could be quite warm in summer. He busied himself with his paints when he became aware of a presence in his studio. He turned around slowly and his heart slammed in his chest when he saw who it was.
“Hello Michael.” Danielle took a few uncertain steps in his direction then stopped.
“How did you get in?” He stared at her with a stunned expression on his face. His heart was hammering in his chest and he struggled to breathe.
“You gave me a key, remember,” she said.
Her long hair was loose and she was wearing a white summer dress that hugged her body. The dress reached the floor and it had straps over her shoulders. She looked beautiful and he could not tear his eyes away from her.
“How are you?” she asked.
“I’m feeling like shit, Danielle. How are you?” Michael said in a clipped voice.
“I’m glad.” She walked towards him and came to a stop a few metres away.
“Glad that I’m feeling like shit?” He was staring at her with an incredulous expression on his face.
“Yes. I’m ecstatic that you’re feeling like shit.”
“Why?”
Danielle placed her hands on his face and peered into his blue eyes. “Because I fucking love you, Michael le Roux.” And then she kissed him. It was a soft kiss, barely touching his lips.
Michael was momentarily stunned and his arms were hanging limply at his sides. He then grabbed her upper arms and held her away from his body, peering searchingly into her eyes. Danielle reluctantly loosened her grip and focused on his face.
“What are you saying?” he asked, his voice faltering.
She touched his mouth with her fingers. “I remember. I remember you kissing me with this mouth in your wine cellar. I remember the time we spent in Avignon and how happy I was when you came to Cape Town. I remember the first time we made love and the day we got married….”
Danielle was still speaking when Michael pulled her towards him to claim her mouth in a passionate kiss. It was as if time stood still and she was lost in his arms. She frowned when he pulled back to look at her.
“Where is Michaela?” he asked.
“I left her with my parents. I needed to be alone with you without any distractions,” she whispered. “Michael?” Her voice sounded small and uncertain.
“What is it, baby?”
“Are you angry with me?”
He looked at her in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Are you angry with me for not being able to remember our time together?”
He shook his head. “I was frustrated that you pushed me away and I was angry that you remembered Jonathan and not me. But most of all I was angry at the situation. Never at you.” He smoothed her hair from her face.
She let out the breath she was holding. “I was so scared that you would reject me.”
“Why would I reject you?”
“I promised I would never leave you again, and I did. I broke my promise.”
“I love you. I would never let you go without a fight. I was planning on going back to South Africa in a few weeks. I figured I had given you enough space and I was ready to get you back, come hell or high water.”
“I was so afraid that you had given up on us,” Danielle said in a small voice.
Michael had a sudden perplexed look on his face. “What triggered your memory recovery?”
She smiled broadly. “Russell.”
“Russell!” Michael laughed. “What did he do?”
“I was on the beach and noticed him jumping from the rocks into the ocean to catch a seagull. The mailman left the gate open and he decided to run to the beach by himself. I had
to rescue him from the water. He is too old and he can’t swim like he used to. I was wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater and the water was freezing. Fortunately the ocean was calm and there were no currents. As I came out of the ocean and sat down on the sand to catch my breath I saw your face. I thought about the day you rescued me when I almost drowned trying to save Russell. It was one of the scariest but also the happiest moments of my life. I fell in love with you that day. All my memories came flooding back like a tidal wave. It left me feeling momentarily disorientated. I don’t know how long I sat there with Russell on my lap. All I could think of was you and the devastating ache in my heart caused by our separation.”
Michael was absolutely quiet as he listened to Danielle. When she stopped speaking he leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth. It was a chaste kiss but it was so full of love, it brought tears to her eyes. He leaned back and smiled.
“I love you, Danielle.”
“And I love you. Only you. It has always been only you.”
THE END
To my readers, thank you for purchasing this book. Please click on the link http://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E0OBQC2/ to leave a review. This book is close to my heart, my baby. There are many medical details in this book. I want to assure you that everything written in this book is medically correct. I am a medical doctor by profession and I tried to honour my readers by giving them something that is factually sound.
I also want to point out that all the locations in this book are places near and dear to my heart. If you have never seen or heard of them, please go to the internet and take a look. You will also fall in love like I did.
I would like to hear from my readers. I have written this book in English which is my second language. I have tried to keep the book free of spelling and grammar mistakes, but please feel free to e-mail me at [email protected] if you want to point out something which I have missed. It would be much appreciated.
Lastly I want to mention Russell. I had a Russell when I was a teenager, and everything written in this book about Russell is true. He is the only character in this book that is non-fictional.