You can’t rush healing, no matter how much you want to.
Elliott has been through hell—not only was he sold to the Glass Research Company, but the company then sold him to a man who wanted a sex slave. Elliott was freed, but now, more than a year later, he’s still fighting with the memories. He spends most of his time hiding in his parents’ house and texting the few friends he has, until he decides his life needs to change. The first step? Moving in with Mal, one of his best friends.
Craig freed Mihaja from the lab. Mihaja went back home to Madagascar, but being there isn’t for him anymore. What he went through changed him, and he goes back to the only home away from home he knows—Gillham. There he meets his mate, Elliott, who tells Mihaja what happened to him even before they realize what they are to each other.
Mihaja knows Elliott will need time and care to heal, and he doesn’t mind being the one giving it to him. He, Elliott, and Mal move in the house Mihaja was supposed to move into alone, and Elliott starts to heal, but he is his own enemy. Elliott wants too much too fast. What will happen when he pushes too hard?
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Elliott
Copyright © 2016 Catherine Lievens
ISBN: 978-1-4874-0696-7
Cover art by Latrisha Waters
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher.
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Elliott
Gillham Pack Book Eleven
By
Catherine Lievens
Chapter One
Elliott ignored the way his mother was hovering by his room door and kept his eyes on his book. Maybe she’d think he really was reading rather than trying to make her think so.
She knew him too well, though. “Elliott...”
Elliott sighed and put his book on his lap. “Yes, Mom?”
She looked at the open window, then back at him. “Why don’t you go outside for a bit? It would do you good, instead of always being in your room.”
Gosh, how Elliott wished he had his own house in moments like these. He knew his mom meant well, and she’d probably had enough of him moping for the rest of her life, but it didn’t change what he felt. “I’m fine here.”
She took Elliott’s answer as a come in. How, he didn’t know, but she walked to his bed and sat on it, careful not to touch him. Elliott was grateful for that, because he never knew how he’d react when someone touched him. He usually was fine with family and close friends, but he couldn’t be sure. “I know you think you’re fine, but are you really?” she asked.
“Of course I’m not, and you know it.”
“It’s been more than a year, Elliott.”
Elliott gritted his teeth. “Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I remember exactly when it happened?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Of course that’s not what you meant. You never mean anything, yet you always manage to make me feel like crap.”
Elliott’s mother pressed her lips together. He knew she’d have cried if he’d talked to her like that a year ago, but now she was used to it. He hated it, because he really didn’t mean to hurt her, just like she didn’t mean to hurt him. They always ended up doing just that, though.
“Talk to me, honey. Please.”
Elliott shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to think about it ever again, yet he was forced to. Gentry wanted him to talk, to remember, and Elliott hated it, but he knew it was necessary. Gentry was helping him, and he was a friend. There was no way Elliott could talk about what had happened to him to his mother, though.
Elliott’s mom sighed. “You know what Gentry said.”
“Yes, he said that it would do me good to talk about it, and I do. Just not with you.”
“You need more friends than just Gentry.”
“I have more.”
Elliott’s mother arched a brow. “You do? And who are they?”
Elliott quickly raked his brain for names. “Mal. Uh, Simon. Merle.”
“You haven’t seen Simon and Merle in months, Elliott. You can’t say they’re friends, and you barely know Mal.”
“Just because he’s new doesn’t mean I don’t know him. Besides, he’s been here for months.”
“And you’ve seen him what? Two times?”
It had actually been only one time. Elliott was the first to admit he didn’t get out much—or at all, really. He went to the alpha’s house to see Gentry, but that was all. He sometimes saw Merle, Mal, and Simon there, because they talked to Gentry, too, but that was all. He had taken Mal’s phone number when Mal had offered it to him, though, and they talked about everything. Well, they texted, but it was the same, and more important, it was safe. Elliott loved their texts, and he didn’t know what he’d do without them. They’d gotten to the point where they texted every day, most of the day, and it made Elliott feel less alone.
“So? I can have friends even if I don’t actually talk to them. That’s what phones and internet are for.”
“You know those aren’t real relationships, honey.”
Elliott slammed his book on his nightstand. “They are!”
His mother raised her hands, and Elliott felt guilty when he saw the hint of fear in her eyes. “I didn’t mean any harm, Elliott.”
Elliott breathed heavily and swallowed. “I know.”
“I just want you to be okay.”
“And I am, Mom. I know I’m not the same as before, but I can’t help that, and you pushing for more isn’t making things easier.”
“I...” Elliott’s mom sighed and got up. “All right. I’m sorry.”
She left Elliott’s room without saying anything else, and Elliott collapsed on his bed. He wished he could live on his own. That way no one would be after him for not leaving the house, or for binge eating, then not eating for a few days. He didn’t move out, though, because the very thing he wanted—more freedom—scared him more than having his mother nagging at him bugged him. He’d be alone if he left the house. Alone and vulnerable. He couldn’t afford that. He couldn’t do that, period. No matter how much he wanted to.
And it was all that man’s fault. His, and Glass’.
Sometimes Elliott wished he could sneak into that man’s house and make him suffer as much as he’d made Elliott suffer. Elliott wanted to do to him what he’d done to Elliott, to laugh while he was hurting, to do it again and again, until he died.
He shivered. That wasn’t him, and it brought back more memories than he could stand. He might want to do those things, but he wasn’t a monster. Besides, he couldn’t even leave his parents’ house without panicking, so how would he even get to that house and see the man who’d hurt him so much again without
running the other way?
He didn’t want to be a monster. Gentry had told him it was normal to have those thoughts, but Elliott thought they made him even freakier than he already was.
He bit his lower lip and took out his cell phone. Mal’s number was the one he used the most, even if his mother didn’t seem to think they were friends. He’d probably texted more to Mal than to anyone else put together since he’d met the man. Elliott thought that meant something.
Are we friends?
Mal didn’t answer right away, and Elliott put his phone in front of him on the comforter. He wished he could take the text back. What had he been thinking? Mal had his own problems, even if he put up with Elliott. Maybe he was busy. Or maybe he’d seen Elliott’s text and had decided he had better things to do than to answer.
Elliott should have known it. Who would want to be friends with someone like him?
The phone chirped and Elliott reached for it with a trembling hand.
Of course we r. What’s wrong?
Nothing.
Don’t BS me.
Elliott hovered his thumb over his screen. What could he tell Mal? He didn’t even know what was wrong himself. Scratch that, he knew exactly what was wrong—he just didn’t know how to solve it.
I hate my life.
Ditto, but what can we do?
No idea.
Long shot, but u want to come over?
Elliott hesitated. He wanted to go, if anything because that way he wouldn’t have to stare at the same four walls for the rest of the day. It would also make his mother happy, especially since Mal lived with Nick, Gentry, and Arlen, and knowing it was Nick’s house would maybe help Elliott feel safe.
He wasn’t sure how he’d react if Arlen was there, though, and even though he knew Nick was the pack’s beta and a good man, Elliott wasn’t sure he’d be able to face the man without being scared of him.
Elliott knew Gentry was safe, as was Mal, but he’d barely seen Nick since he was back, and he didn’t know Arlen. Elliott had a hard time with men he knew, let alone men he didn’t.
Elliott’s phone chirped again.
El? U there?
Elliott tapped his finger on the phone’s screen. Gentry always told him that he had to be the one to make decisions, and that he couldn’t let his fears rule his life.
Who’s there?
Just me. Everyone’s @ work.
4 how long?
Til tonight. I’m supposed to cook dinner. U can help.
Elliott chuckled.
Not sure how much I can help. I suck at cooking.
U can peel potatoes.
It was tempting. Elliott read Mal’s texts a few times, but he couldn’t make a decision. What if he went and freaked out? What if he didn’t go and Mal decided to dump him because he was a lame friend?
U can leave anytime u want. I won’t be angry.
Elliott stared at Mal’s new text, took a deep breath, and answered.
OK. B there soon.
* * * *
Mihaja was nervous. He knew he shouldn’t be, because Kameron had assured him he’d be welcome back any time he wanted when he’d left, but still. He’d been away for months, and a lot of things seemed to have changed in that time. Mihaja had left a mostly peaceful pack to come back to a war.
He wasn’t a fighter, and he wasn’t sure he could get used to being under attack. Things didn’t seem so bad in the daylight, but he’d been there when the pack had been attacked a few days earlier. He hadn’t meant to, but he’d been waiting for Kameron and had ended up in the middle of the battle, doing his best to protect the hurt pack members from the wendigoes and the other wolf shifters.
Mihaja pushed open the front door of the alpha’s house and stepped in. He took advantage of the mirror in the entrance to check his tie and smooth his hands down his shirt. He looked fine.
He headed toward Kameron’s office and knocked on the door. It took Kameron a few minutes to answer, and it was Zach who opened the door. Mihaja had to suppress a smile. “I can come back later if you need more time with Kameron.”
Zach rolled his eyes and stepped to the side. “Very funny. Nice to see you again, man. I didn’t think we would.”
Mihaja nodded and entered the office. Kameron was behind his desk, scowling at his computer. Mihaja looked at Zach in question and Zach waved. “I wouldn’t ask if I were you.”
“If you say so.”
“The usual problems.”
“I don’t know much. I’ve just come back.”
“Right. Sit down, so you can tell us what’s up and we can do the same.”
Kameron turned only when Mihaja sat in front of his desk and Zach settled on the arm of Kameron’s chair. Mihaja’s first thought was that the alpha looked tired, more so than the last time he’d seen him.
“So, I’ve heard you’re back,” Kameron said.
Mihaja nodded. “I hope so, if you’ll take me.”
“Of course we will. In fact, I’m happy we’ll finally have a computer savvy man on our side. Borrowing Isaiah from the pride is becoming a problem.”
“So you’re letting me come back? Just like that?”
“Yes, unless you want to do something more. A swearing-in ceremony? Or maybe we can drink each other’s blood?”
Mihaja gaped and Kameron laughed. “You can’t be serious.”
“Of course not. I don’t understand why you guys always think I need to do something special for you to become a pack member. Maybe I should get pins or something. Member of the fantastic Gillham Pack. Sounds good.”
Mihaja relaxed. “Well, I come from a traditional tribe, so yes, I expected a ceremony of some kind.”
“Is it something you need to feel part of the pack? Because I’m sure we can think of something.”
“No, I’m fine. That’s one of the reasons I came back, actually.”
“The traditions?”
Mihaja nodded. “Yes. I thought I could get used to being in Madagascar again, but everything’s so different there after the time I spent here.”
“So you’re back for good.”
“Yes.”
“And your family?”
“They weren’t exactly happy, but they accepted my decision. I think they realized I couldn’t go back to my old life after what happened.” Having to stay in a lab for years changed a man, even if Mihaja had tried to ignore those changes. He hadn’t been able to, not for long.
“Why come back here, though?” Kameron asked. “You could have chosen any place. Why Gillham?”
“Because I know I’ll be fine here. We both know how hard it is to be a lone shifter, especially recently. I’ve heard things about what’s happening around here, and I was here the night the pack was attacked.”
Kameron grimaced and Zach reached down to take his hand. Kameron briefly looked at his mate, and Mihaja felt out of place, like he was witnessing something he shouldn’t, so he looked out the window.
“You’re right, these aren’t the easiest of times,” Zach said. “We have big problems, and you’d probably be safer on your own. If Tom or one of his acolytes find out you’re a pack member...”
“No, I want to be here.”
Mihaja had thought about it after the battle. He hadn’t known everything, but it had been enough for him to understand that life in the pack wouldn’t be as peaceful as he’d thought when he’d decided to come back. These people had welcomed him when he’d had nothing, though. They could have kicked him to the curb and sent him back home without as much as a goodbye. Instead they’d fed him and given him clothes and a safe place to stay. They’d made sure he had enough money to go back home when he’d decided it was time, and they’d told him he could come back any time he wanted. They were good people, and they didn’t deserve what was happening to them.
“Welcome back, then,” Kameron said with a smile.
“Thank you.”
“So, tell us what
you need.”
Mihaja linked his fingers in his lap. “Well, I don’t have much with me. My computer, some clothes, but that’s about it. I also don’t have a place to stay or a job. Not that I expect you to find me either of those things, of course.”
“Don’t worry about anything. Like I said, we need someone who understands computers and who’s willing to work for the pack, and you can either take a room here in the house or check out the houses we built on pack land.”
“That would be great, but I don’t want to take a house from someone who might need it.”
“You’re not. The pack has been growing lately. I made sure we’d have more houses than we needed, just in case.”
Mihaja wondered how much money he’d need to buy what he needed—furniture, clothes, everything. He didn’t have enough money for that, but he wasn’t about to tell Kameron. “That’s great. Thank you.”
Mihaja started to get up, but Zach stopped him. “Wait, I need to give you one of the pack’s credit cards.”
“What? No, I don’t need it.”
Zach rolled his eyes and reached inside the drawer he’d just unlocked. “Shut up. Of course you need it. The house is furnished with the bare necessities, but I’m sure you want to buy some stuff.”
He handed an envelope to Mihaja, then got up and fiddled with the safe behind Kameron’s chair. He opened it, took another envelope, and gave it to Mihaja. “First envelope has the code, second has the card.”
“I don’t know how to thank you.” Mihaja looked at the envelopes in his hand. He had expected the pack to accept him, but he hadn’t thought Kameron and Zach would be so generous again.
“You don’t have to. We do the same for every pack member. We’re a family, and family takes care of its own.”
Mihaja knew how that worked. His family was big, and the tribe was like an extended family. He just hadn’t expected to find the same in Gillham. “When do I have to start working?”
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