by M. Piper
“We’re jumping tandem, babe. First timer and all.” I glance at her and she smiles wide.
“So me and you? Together? Falling from a plane?”
“Yep.” I nod, my heart beating wildly for this girl.
We pull into the lot next to Javier’s plane and she squeals with excitement. The entire time he’s strapping her in, giving us directions, and showing her the ropes I’m soaking in her joy. I forgot what it feels like to be this happy. To make someone this happy.
She’s terrified when the plane takes off, and even my lips on hers, trying to hold her to me and calm her nerves aren’t helping, but she’s determined to actually go through with it. Watching her steel herself when that door opens when we hit eleven thousand feet makes me proud to call her mine.
“You ready?” I yell through the mic on my helmet. Her eyes go wide and her face shines brightly when she nods. I hook the proper clips to every single piece of her that I can, checking it probably twenty times making sure we’re all set. I’ve tandem jumped like this a dozen or more times in the past when Javier needed an instructor. I’ve even taken the course to get certified though I don’t use it very often, but I’m more nervous now than ever and I think it all has to do with the girl I’m taking down with me.
“Okay! Count of three!” I yell, eyeing Gram’s property.
Mackenzie starts to count, but before she can get to three we’re freefalling through the sky. Her hands on mine briefly before she remembers I have to use mine to pull the proper chords to bring us down safely. I let us free-fall for almost a full minute, enjoying the freeing moment even more spending it with her.
When the parachute opens and the wind catches it, we slow our descent and she’s laughing like a wild woman, my heart bursting with joy from making her this happy. I get five full minutes of coasting with her, taking in the scenery sure…but more so taking in her pure happiness and turning it into mine. She’s fucking perfect.
When our feet touch down and we’re finally back on earth, I manage to get her unhooked from me. She immediately spins and wraps her arms around me tightly.
“Oh my God, thank you,” she pants then pulls back and looks into my eyes. “That was perfect.” She’s beaming and as she presses her lips to mine I forget to walk out of the parachute so it doesn’t come down on us, so when it does and we’re sitting under the puff of the parachute and the light shining through casts a gorgeous color on her face it’s the only thing I can do. I kiss her again. Harder, this time. I kiss her because I’ve fallen in love with her and I don’t know how it happened.
Javier eventually meets us with the truck to bring us back to my car shortly after we get everything wrapped up. I want to stay here with her, but we have to get him his materials back and I’m starving. I make a mental note to bring her here one day, to this property. It’s been in the family for years and I know she’d love it.
I get a text from my parents at about seven, saying they’re just a few hours out from their stop for the night. I smile at the selfie my mom tries sending us, because it’s painful to look at but sweet at the same time.
“You want to grab some dinner?” I ask, holding her hand tightly and she grins over at me, biting her lip.
“I’m not too hungry for food right now,” she whispers. “But I do have other stuff in mind we could do.”
“Yeah?” I smirk. “Like?” Before she can answer I get a call from my sister and pull my phone out, answering it on speakerphone in the car. “What’s up little sis?” I immediately furrow my brows at all the noise and I notice Mackenzie do the same.
“I may have a problem!” she yells over the music.
“Spill,” I try not to growl but it comes out angry and Mack gives my hand a quick squeeze and a reassuring look.
“So a few friends found out Mom and Dad are gone,” she starts and I bust out in laughter, cutting her off.
“Are you having a fucking party, Reag?” I blurt and Mackenzie chuckles.
“I didn’t plan it!” she shrieks. “I didn’t want this, but they won’t go away! Make them go away, Ford! Mom and Dad are going to kill me!”
I laugh and glance over at Mackenzie, shaking my head. Turning the car around, I head for my parents’ house.
“We’ll be right there,” I say, ending the call and raising an eyebrow at Mack. “You up for a little party tonight?”
“Oh my God you’re not going to let it happen, are you?” She gasps, laughing at my expression.
“Of course I am. I made enough bad choices as a young adult. She needs her time to shine.” I wink and Mack laughs. “I mean, with me there at least it won’t get too crazy.”
She bursts out in laughter, her hand tight in mine and she sighs, chuckling.
“You going to call your brother?” She smirks when I laugh and she grabs my phone, hitting ‘send’ on his phone number before I can answer.
By the time we make it to the party the house is crammed with people. If my parents don’t find out about this it’ll be a miracle. I find Reagan in the corner, surrounded by three dudes, and reach through the sausage pack to grab her arm, pulling her away. Her eyes have that already drunk sheen to them and she giggles as I yank her to an empty bedroom.
“What the hell’s going on?” I’m trying not to yell, but this isn’t what I was expecting. Lincoln’s on his way over and he’s going to explode.
“You came!” she yells and Mackenzie walks into the room with a glass of water and some Tylenol. “Mack’s here! Oh I love you, Mack. I think Mack should be a part of the family. You two need babies. Lincoln needs more babies. Lord knows I’ll never be making babies if I can’t find someone who’s not a douche!” Her laughter screams through the air and I glance over at Mack and wince at the look on her face.
“Well you’re just three sheets to the wind,” I mutter. “How the hell did that happen so fast?”
“Shots! Mom and Dad’s liquor cabinet’s stocked!” She laughs. “Not anymore!”
“Oh my God,” I groan. Night one and my sister’s already fucking things up. I look over at Mackenzie and before I can say anything, Reagan pounces on the bed and curls into the pillows.
“I’ll stay with her,” Mackenzie whispers. “I’m just a few years older than this drunken stage right here,” she says, chuckling.
I nod, gritting my teeth. A couple months ago this was my life. Drink until I passed out. Every other night of the week it felt like. It feels weird being on the other end of that.
I step out of the bedroom and close the door behind me. As soon as the handle clicks shut Lincoln comes barreling down the hall.
“What the fuck’s going on here? What did you do?” he blurts, red faced. “This place is trashed. Mom and Dad aren’t ever going to leave again!”
The fact that we’re grown adults worrying about getting in trouble from our parents makes me laugh.
“I didn’t do shit, big bro,” I tell him, walking down the hall away from the room. “Shit got out of hand with the few people Reag had over, I guess.”
“Where is she?”
“Passed out so drunk she can barely remember her name.” I chuckle but Lincoln doesn’t find it funny. “Oh come on. You can’t honestly say you’ve never done something this stupid before…” I raise an eyebrow and he narrows his eyes at me. It’s a showdown between the older, more serious of the brothers and…well…me. The awesome one.
“We gotta get them out of here before they break some—” before he can finish his sentence we hear glass shattering in the kitchen. Running to the noise, there’s a group of kids probably no more than legal drinking age, all laughing at the shattered glass plate on the floor.
“Out!” Lincoln bellows the room goes silent. “Get the fuck out,” he growls, hands tight at his fists and all I can do is nod, staring at the shattered plate so I don’t start kicking asses. Don’t come into my family home and start breaking shit because you think it’s fucking funny.
The crowd grumbles but within fifteen minut
es Lincoln and I have cleared the house out and all we’re left with is a mostly full keg and a massive disaster that needs cleaned.
“She’s not getting away that easily,” I mutter, glancing around. “I say we clean up the lawn, just so the neighbors don’t flip. But the inside’s all her.”
“Tomorrow,” he says. “Hungover and all. She’ll be cleaning this place spotless.”
“Let’s just hope Mom doesn’t miss that plate,” I mutter. “Fucking hipsters.” I swat as a mosquito buzzes around my ear. “Fucking millennials.” I pause and stand after shoving more trash in a trash bag and Lincoln’s grinning from ear to ear. “What?”
“You sound like the crankiest old man in town,” he says, laughing. “Seriously, Ford. Relax a little.” He pats my back. “Anyway. Technically, aren’t we all millenials?” He walks away and starts cleaning.
I take a long breath of fresh air and groan. I know what my problem is. I hate that it’s my problem but I know what it is. I puff out a breath and take a seat at the table on the patio. There’s a few mostly full beer cups sitting around me and all I want to do is grab them and down them. I miss it. I miss the taste of it. I miss what it did to me on nights like tonight. I should walk back into that room, take Mack home, and ignore this drama but I can’t. This is family.
“I haven’t had a beer in a month,” I tell Lincoln who’s made his way to the table with me.
“Really?” He nods and his face softens a bit. “Nice little brother. I’m proud of you.”
I pick at the paint on the patio table, angry at myself for wanting a drink so bad tonight.
“Not a drop of anything. Not once.” I shake my head, letting out a chuckle. “I haven’t needed it, you know? I have Mackenzie. She’s what I need.” I find Lincoln’s gaze and shake my head.
“You want one tonight, don’t you?” he asks and I nod.
“So fucking bad. That keg’s not even halfway gone, Linc. And staring at the shit they did to this place? It’s trashed. It hurts my heart, and I’m so used to picking up the bottle when things make me sad or piss me off like this.”
“You can head out if you need to, Ford.”
“Nah, I’ll be fine.” I can’t tear my eyes from the cups on the table. Screaming at me.
“I’m proud of you, Ford.” He stands. “You’ve been through hell. But I think you’re finally coming out of it.” He pats my shoulder and heads inside. I sit there, staring at the cup of beer, and when a light inside turns off I sigh, reaching out and grab the cup, downing the now room temperature liquid. Even in its less than desirable state it tastes good.
The cup crunches in my hand and I stare at it. Did that help? Was it worth it? Shit.
What the hell did I just do?
“Ford?” Mackenzie whispers from the patio door and I spin in my seat, her eyes blinking a few times when they land on the cup in my hands. “Time to go,” she whispers, unable to look away from my hand.
She fucking saw. She had to. And now I feel like a fucking moron.
“Mackenzie—” I start but she holds her hand up, shaking her head.
“Come on. I’m driving.”
She holds her hands out for the keys and the entire drive home she’s silent. Each passing car illuminates her features and they’re not happy. I want her happy again. I want her happy like earlier. I hate my sister for tonight. If I wouldn’t have gone there I wouldn’t have had that temptation.
“Will you stay tonight?” I whisper, gripping her hand in mine when she finally releases it from the steering wheel in the driveway. “Please, Mack.”
Her eyes look so sad and I break for her, because I’m the one that put that look on her face.
“In one day you’ve made me so happy, and so sad, Ford,” she whispers.
“Please come in, Mackenzie,” I manage. I want to scream. I want to hit things. I want more alcohol and I’m scared if she leaves that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
She nods and opens the car door, slipping out without saying anything and walking to my front door. I meet her there and she locks the car before unlocking the front door.
“Hey,” I say, stopping her from walking away from me and gripping her hand in mine. “I…” I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry? I failed you? I’m an idiot?
“Why’d you do it?” she asks, looking down at where our hands are connected. Her breaths slow and steady but the look on her face says she’s anything but calm.
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “I have no self-control. My parents’ house was trashed and I take responsibility for my little sister’s shitty decisions. I was angry.”
“Ford, I was just down the hall.” Her eyes move to mine and she shakes her head. “How many other times have there been? I thought you were doing so well…”
“None. I promise you,” I blurt, cursing. “I’m sorry, Mackenzie. The minute it went down I wondered what the hell I was doing. I didn’t need it. Just wanted it; wanted the taste… The only thing it did was set me back.” I run my hand through my hair, trying not to get too worked up over this. I don’t typically let myself feel like a failure, but right now I’m feeling way too low on myself because I did fail. I failed me. I failed her. I failed my fucking brother that I just fucking told I’m free from that shit.
“Why didn’t you just come get me?” She’s so sad, and she has every right to be. Every time over the last month I’ve thought about drinking, she’s been the person I’ve gone to. It’s worked surprisingly well, and I think that’s why this hurts her so much. Because not only did I fail, she’s feeling like she failed me. It’s written all over her face.
“I don’t know.” I mutter the words like a scorned child and before I know what’s happening, her arms are wrapped around me tight. “What’re you doing?” I murmur in to her shoulder. My hands instinctively go around her, sliding up and under her shirt and pulling her to me. She feels so right and I hate myself for hurting her.
“You’ll get there, Ford,” she whispers. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you out there alone.”
“This isn’t your fault, Mack, fuck,” I huff, pulling back from her. “It’s all on me. I’m a grown man. I know if I want to kick it, I need to stop thinking alcohol is the key.” I cup her face in my hands and look at her. She’s locked on to my eyes, seeing well past the coloring and straight into my damn soul. I’ve never said those words out loud. I’ve barely thought them. But they’re the truth. I know if I want to become the man I need to be, I need to stop thinking alcohol will do anything good for me.
Maybe one day I’ll be able to have a casual beer at a party or with my family at a BBQ, but for now it’s all hands off. Water, tea, lemonade. Hell, sparkling water as pansy as it sounds is amazing. I don’t need the vice anymore as a vice, and until I can handle it in small proportions, I don’t need it at all.
“We’ll get through this,” she whispers, bringing her hand up to rest on top of mine. “Can we go to bed? I’m exhausted.”
I nod, the beauty in those words is more than she’ll ever know. My thumb swipes over her lower lip and I smirk.
“Will you stay with me?” I whisper, eyes on her lips.
“Absolutely.”
I help her strip her layers when we get to the bedroom, letting them fall to the floor. I kiss my way up her shoulder and hold her tight to me, wrapping my tired limbs around her.
“I sleep a lot better with you here.” I press a kiss to the back of her neck and she sighs.
“Me too,” she whispers, nuzzling back into me.
I love this girl. I’m in love with her and I’m no longer afraid to be.
Now I’m just afraid to tell her.
“What does the calendar look like for next month?” Jules shoves a bite of salad into her mouth as she perches on the counter. We locked up about a half hour ago but I’m so swamped during the day that this is the only time we have to sit down together and go over things.
“Busy,” I huff. “Busier than this month.” I pull
out a contract I got today and wag it at her, grinning.
“What is that?” She yanks it from my hands, dropping her fork into her bowl and her eyes go wide. “Holy shit, Mackenzie! This is the Walters’ wedding!”
I beam, taking the contract back from her. The Waters family is made of money and power. Her father a politician, her mother a lawyer and the groom a fortune five hundred business owner means this wedding is going to be exquisite. The reception is at West House and I know Ford’s already stressing about the remodel that needs to be finished up in the bathrooms beforehand but I know they’ll get it done. The wedding’s being rushed through because of a pregnancy they don’t want anyone to know about yet, so on Christmas Eve this year I happened to be the only able bakery in town to create the masterpiece they wanted. Thank God for that, because we need the money.
“We’re going to be busy as hell though. We only just signed the papers this morning and already word’s spreading and we have more people contacting us about holiday parties than ever before.”
“Well that’s amazing. Good. We need it.” She picks back up her salad and finishes it off as I pencil in the other twenty or so jobs over the next few weeks.
“You all packed for the flight?” I ask her, closing the books and noticing the snow starting to fall from the sky. Thanksgiving’s tomorrow and this is pretty early for snow but I’m not complaining. Jules is flying out an hour before us to head home to her family’s house for the holiday and Ford and I are leaving right after her to head to my parents’ house. It’s going to be a quick trip home but my mom wouldn’t have it any other way this year.
“I am. Are you? I saw you rushing around this morning trying to shove stuff into a suitcase.” She grins at me and hops off the counter.
“I’m all packed. Ford’s all packed. He’s picking us up at five.”
“I’m still shocked you asked him to come back home with you.” She shrugs. “Think maybe he’s a keeper?”
“He is leaving his family for the first time ever on a massive holiday to be with mine. So I’d say he’s up there on the list of things I’d like to keep.”