“Theodore!” Hildy and I yelled at the same time.
I glared at her.
“He has a better life with me,” she said. “You’re the one who let him out to begin with. What kind of cat mother are you?”
Cody and Mozart hustled through the crowd toward me.
John Fartier spotted the dog and stopped in his tracks. He pulled something from his pocket, leaned forward, and waved it in front of him. “Here puppy, puppy.”
I felt my neck grow tight and sore. My throat was closing off. It felt like someone was strangling me.
Anthony clutched his throat with both hands and gasped for air, as his eyes practically bulged out of his head.
This was an empathic hit. It wasn’t my pain; it was Anthony’s. John Fartier wanted the leash because John had used it to strangle Anthony.
Mozart eyed the slumlord. The Shepherd’s ears swiveled back, the hair raised on the back of his neck, and he growled.
“Hey buddy,” Cody said. “What’s up?”
“What’s up is that Mr. Fartier wants the lead that’s clipped to Mozart’s collar,” I said. “Because that’s what Mr. Fartier used to strangle Anthony Spiggottini before he shot him.”
Mr. Fartier blanched as white as Anthony’s ghostly face. “My right hand man will handle this.” He turned and made his way through the crowd.
Hildy rolled her eyes. “I’m not a man, John. We’ve had this conversation before. I do believe I’m off the clock.” She squeezed through the crowd toward Theodore.
“Stop that guy!” I hollered as I pushed my way toward the bar, but the party was in full swing, and no one paid me any attention.
Hildy picked up my cat, plopped him over the crook of her arm, and headed for the door.
“Crap,” I said. “Won’t anyone help?”
Suddenly, John Fartier began squirming like he’d been hit with a bad case of fleas. He wriggled, he clawed at his back, dropped his briefcase, and slapped his own face. “Get it off me! Get the damn cat off me!”
Mozart’s ears perked up, he raced over, jumped on John, knocked him to the ground, and growled.
I caught up with Hildy and tapped her on the shoulder. “Not so fast, Miss Crawford. I might not be a perfect cat mother, but I’m the best cat mother that Theodore von Pumpernickle will ever have.” I tossed my drink in her face, snatched my fur baby, cradled him in my arms, and kissed his fuzzy head.
And then I burst into tears. “I love you Theodore von Pumpernickle. It’s time to go home.”
Chapter 32
Attached
Mary (The Spirit Cat)
Yes, I jumped on that arrogant man’s shoulders, and yes I concentrated really hard in order to dig my claws in. I wasn’t about to let some entitled, wealthy, business magnate get away with murder again. I might not have been able to bring Kathleen’s killer to justice, but helping Annie, Theodore, and even Mozart the pooch gave me a thrill.
I should probably go back to being invisible, and just letting the people and animals that lived in present day Venice, California go about their business. They were after all, so very caught up with their lives, and their loves, work, and leisure time.
But, call me crazy, getting out and about again was kind of fun.
I just might stick around for a while.
Chapter 33
Happy Haunted Halloween
Annie
I missed the big Halloween bash on Main Street in Santa Monica. Instead, assisted by Anthony, I answered a zillion police questions.
Raphael showed up looking flustered. “I thought we agreed you were going to call me before this escalated.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t know it was going to escalate.”
An hour or so later, I took Theodore home, wiped him down with a wet towel, fed him the good stuff, and gave him a little nip. We snuggled on the couch. When I got up to get an extra blanket from my closet, I found an old, yellowed envelope on the floor. It appeared to have dropped out of a grate in the ceiling.
I sat on the couch, had a glass of wine, and opened it. Got an eyeful. Called Raphael again.
The next night, my boyfriend knocked on my door to pick me up for my neighborhood Halloween party. And shocker, he was even wearing a costume.
Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” played in the background as we noshed on some appetizers at a McMansion that was decorated like a fancy, albeit block-shaped haunted house. Raphael was brave and sampled the vegan pizza. I was tired of throwing caution to the wind and stuck with something more familiar: mini frankfurters with tiny buns. They were so cute and delicious!
“We brought in John Fartier and Hildy Crawford for questioning in the murder of Anthony Spiggottini,” Raphael, the cutest Tinman in the entire world, said.
“Good,” I said. “I’ve got my money on Fartier. Has either of them confessed yet?”
“Hildy has a pretty solid alibi. She was at The Juiced Bar getting soused from nine p.m. to four a.m. when the bouncer poured her into a cab and sent her home.”
“Maybe Mr. Fartier just wanted to give her an alibi.”
“Maybe,” Raphael said. “Or, maybe he didn’t invite her to his Halloween bash because she was so competitive that she wouldn’t have given John any time to kill Anthony Spiggottini. John’s prints were all over the blood speckled Juiced Bar work out strap that Mozart dragged around for a bit.
“Did all that wear and tear tamper with the evidence?”
“Yes, but there’s still plenty left. John Fartier can let a good attorney argue that for him.”
“Do you think they’re still going to rip down my apartment?”
“Maybe,” Raphael said. “But there’s at least a six-month stay while they investigate Kathleen Barton’s letters and documents that you found in your apartment. Who knew Kathleen Barton used to live at your place? That’s crazy!”
I glanced over at Grady who was dancing with his boyfriend Liam. He had finally given up the Jamie from Outlander look and was attempting an Earnest Hemingway costume.
Julia and Cody wore Mulder and Scully outfits and smooched in a dark corner of the front yard.
I looked at Anthony who sat dejectedly on the front step and stared at all the partiers. “Raphael, can you refresh my drink?” I asked.
“Anything for Dorothy,” he said, took my cup, and walked away.
I walked over to my former apartment manager. “Your information helped a lot, you know,” I said. “Why couldn’t you have been this sweet earlier?”
“You mean when I was alive?” he asked.
I nodded.
He shrugged. “How was I going to be the muscle guy for a slumlord if I was a nice guy? It just didn’t fit my job description.”
“Oh,” I said. “When did you finally figure out you were dead?”
“As soon as I saw the European guy in the silver thong,” he said. “No one living would wear such a thing. What do I do now?”
“Well, you could stick around and haunt folks for a while. I totally wouldn’t mind if you gave Hildy a few scares. Or, you could go to the Afterlife. I hear it’s a pretty nice place to live. Very homey.”
“But I don’t know how to get there,” he said.
“Well, Vlad,” I said. “In my experience, you need to go to the light. There’s a big Jack-O’-Lantern over there that’s bright as the sun on a cloudless day. Walk toward it, click your heels together three times, and recite, ‘There’s no place like home.’”
He stood up. “What about Prince Philip?”
“Feel free to take him with you,” I said.
“He left,” Anthony said. “Something about getting prepared for All Saints’ Day. Had to get his hair done so he’d look presentable for some guy named Peter.”
I sighed.
“Nice doing business with you, Graceland,” Anthony said. “Remember, no dogs are allowed in your apartment. Cats are okay if they’re written into your lease. The security deposit cannot be returned if the wear and tear is above normal parame
ters. I wish we could have done that getaway with the hotel room overlooking Parking Lot E at the track. And, I’m sorry about putting your picture on the wall at the bar.” He saluted me, turned, and walked toward the Jack-O’-Lantern.
I waved at him. “The getaway was never going to happen. And about the picture thing, it’s okay, Anthony. I went back there and took it down.”
“I don’t mean the one at The Juiced Bar,” he said. “I meant the photos at the other bars.” He clicked his heels together, squeezed his eyes shut, and recited, “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home…”
I frowned. “What other bars?”
But like a fart in the wind, he was gone.
I looked up and a lone bat flew out from under a tall tree and winged its way toward the full moon. I shivered.
Raphael walked up, handed me my drink, and held up his glass. “A toast,” he said. “Here’s to an uneventful Thanksgiving. Happy, haunted Halloween, Annie.”
Chapter 34
Excellent Adventure
Theodore (The Cat)
I wouldn’t want to repeat leaving home again in such a dramatic fashion. But I did learn a few things on my excellent adventure.
Number one. Don’t shoot the dog. Yes, they are smelly, oafish beasts, and clearly inferior to felines. But push comes to shove, there are a few that aren’t that bad. I met one of them and I’m proud to call him my pal. Please don’t tell him I said that.
Number two. The occult is not a laughing matter. You might think it’s all fun and games to play Bloody Mary, or goof around with a Ouija board (I only did this once, but that is another story), but conjuring up a spirit from the dead, or the Great Beyond, or even liking one of those fake cat sensations on YouTube, clearly has ramifications.
Number three. The catnip might look greener on the other side of the fence but chances are it comes with a harness attached.
And number four. I love you cat mother, Annie. No one can take your place. There will never be another you, and there really is no place like home.
I was, however, thinking that wet cat food feeding time must be increased to three times a day instead of the rigorous once a day schedule that you’re currently enforcing…
THE END
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Scare-dy Cats Recipes
Bloody Mary Cocktail
By
Mary the ‘Spirit’ Cat
Ingredients:
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 cup ice cubes (use the filtered water – cleaner and healthier for you.)
1 (1.5 fluid ounce) jigger of vodka (Use the good stuff for a better tasting drink.)
¾ cup spicy tomato-vegetable juice cocktail (example, V-8, or the low salt version of V-8.)
2 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
Salt and pepper to taste (Cut back on the salt if you have heart issues.)
1 stalk celery (Up this to two stalks to get in a serving of your daily vegetables.)
2 stuffed green olives (I personally hate olives, so I skip this, but it’s up to you.)
Directions:
Use tall glasses and salt the rims. An easy way to do this is to pour salt onto a small plate. Moisten the rim of the glass with a damp towel, and press into the salt. Place the ice cubes in the glass.
Fill a cocktail mixer full of ice. Combine the vodka, vegetable juice, Worcestershire sauce, hot pepper concoction, with a dash of salt and the pepper. Shake this thoroughly and strain into the glass. To finish, Garnish the Bloody Marys with celery stalks and olives (if you insist on being an olive-lover), stuck onto toothpicks.
Enjoy responsibly!
Davis Family Cherry Dream Pie
By
Kim McMahan Davis
Ingredients:
Crust
3 cups (1 - 13.5 ounce package) graham cracker crumbs (either Honey Maid or gluten-free graham cracker crumbs such as Kinnikinnick brand)
1-1/2 sticks (6 ounces) butter, melted
1 teaspoon salt
Filling
2 cups (9 ounces) powdered sugar
2 8-ounce packages cream cheese (softened to room temperature)
2 envelopes Dream Whip mix
1 cup cold milk, whole or 2%
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Topping
Two 21-ounce cans Comstock Cherry Pie Filling
Instructions:
Crust
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly coat a 13”x9” casserole dish with cooking spray.
Mix graham cracker crumbs with the salt and melted butter and stir until thoroughly combined. Mixture should resemble wet sand.
Press graham cracker mixture into casserole dish with very clean hands and form short edges around the side of the dish with the crust.
Bake for 10 minutes then remove and cool completely.
Filling
Pour the 2 envelopes of Dream Whip mix into a medium sized bowl along with milk and vanilla extract.
Using an electric hand mixer, beat for 30 seconds on low. Increase speed to medium high and beat for 3 – 4 minutes until mixture thickens and forms peaks.
Refrigerate until needed.
In a large mixing bowl beat the 2 packages of soft cream cheese on medium, until soft and creamy.
Reduce to low speed and gradually add the 2 cups of powdered sugar. Once incorporated increase speed to medium high and beat until smooth and creamy, about 2 minutes.
Remove Dream Whip from the refrigerator and gently fold into cream cheese mixture.
Spread cream cheese and Dream Whip mixture over the cooled crust, spreading to the edges of the dish.
Topping
Spread the 2 cans of cherry pie filling over the cream cheese mixture.
Refrigerate for at least 3 hours before serving. Store leftovers in the refrigerator for up to 3 days.
Recipe can be halved and made in an 8”x8” baking dish.
Southern Night Cocktail (Aka -- Comfy Peach)
By
Robin Kelly
Ingredients:
1/3 of a glass Southern Comfort
1/3 of a glass Peach Brandy
1/3 of a glass either Peach Schnapps or Cranberry Peach Juice (This depends on how potent you want this drink to be!)
If you want this to be a slushy and cool type of drink, add crushed ice mix.
Directions:
Mix. Shake with the ice.
This one can be potent! Drink responsibly.
Toffee Square Cookies
By
Margaret Dieman
Ingredients:
½ C melted butter
3 C rolled oats
1 C brown sugar
1 Tsp salt
1 egg beaten
½ C dark syrup
1 Tsp vanilla
¼ C sifted flour
1 six oz. package of semi-sweet chocolate chips.
Instructions:
Combine butter and oats and mix well.
Combine the flour, sugar, salt, the egg, vanilla, and dark syrup and mix well.
Blend these two mixtures together thoroughly.
Spread evenly in the bottom of a greased 9X13 baking pan.
Bake at 375 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes.
Remove from the oven and sprinkle the chocolate chips over the top.
Return to the over for 1 to 2 minutes to melt the chocolate. Sprinkle with nuts if you wish.
Cool and cut into squares.
Should yield approximately 24 squares.
Spooky Surprise (Cookie Dough) Cupcakes!
By
Laura Devries
Professional Baker
Cookie Dough:
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large *pasteurized* eggs OR equal amount liquid egg substitute*
2 cups chocolate chips
Directions:
Combine flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs (or egg substitute, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in chocolate chips. Using a tablespoon as a guide, scoop balls of cookie dough onto waxed paper or parchment and place in a container that will fit in your freezer. Once all of the cookie dough is scooped, place in the freezer for at least 1 hour or until completely frozen.
The Annie Graceland Cupcakes Cozy Mystery Box Set #2: Books 5 - 7 Page 28