by T. S. Harvey
As we walked into the kitchen, Erik introduced me.
‘Dad, this is Sarah.’
‘Yeah, right,’ he replied, barely looking up from the food he was preparing. You could have cut the air with a knife. The look on Erik’s face scared me a little. It was plain to see his disappointment at his dad’s reaction. The last thing I wanted was to cause trouble for him but in truth, apart from a stupid childish mistake that Erik had been able to get past, I hadn’t really done anything to deserve this. I pushed on though. I needed to show I was making an effort to make up for before.
‘Erik tells me you’re a lawyer, Mr Zauber.’ I smiled as warmly as I could. Still nothing. ‘He said you’re also a Bulls fan. They’ve had a shocking season – I reckon it’s about time Marrott called it a day.’
Mr Zauber turned towards me at this point. He didn’t look pleased. He paused for a moment; I could feel my chest tightening as I struggled to breathe out.
‘Shocking? Shameful more like.’
I let go and breathed a huge breath out.
‘So you’re a Bulls fan?’ he asked.
Oh shit. I didn’t want to start the evening with a lie.
‘Not really,’ I said almost apologetically. ‘I’m more of a 76ers fan.’
‘Oh right. Well, it could have been worse – at least you’re not a Lakers fan.’
I got half a smile at this point, so figured I’d stick to talking sport. I had quite an interest in basketball and football although athletics was really more my thing.
‘My dad was raised in Philly so I didn’t get much of a choice of teams. We moved around a lot with his job but we’d always make it to a game when we were over here.’
‘Yeah, Erik said your dad’s in the army. Must be tough not having him around.’
‘A little bit. My aunt is great, though.’
I felt my grip on Erik’s hand start to loosen. It felt like his dad was starting to warm to me now and I was starting to relax.
‘We’re having Italian; I hope you’re not vegetarian?’
‘That’s great, Mr Zauber, thank you.’
‘Call me Logan’ he said, smiling as he finally held his hand out to shake mine.
I could have done a little dance around the kitchen table.
‘Feel better now?’ Erik Whispered to me.
I was too nervous to even Whisper back. What if they could hear me? Erik had said they had this telepathic ability but he hadn’t explained quite how it worked, how you stopped others listening in. I just smiled up at him.
Over dinner I managed to score points with my knowledge of football and sports in general. They might have been Warlocks but when it came down to stereotyping girls as knowing nothing about sport, it appeared they were just men after all!
‘You haven’t told us anything your mother, Sarah.’
For such a confident guy, Jared hadn’t spoken much over dinner, and this question kind of came out of the blue.
‘Not much to say really. I don’t know her; she left us when I was just a baby. We moved around a lot with Dad’s job but Aunt Suze helped raise me when he was stationed in the US. She’s not actually my dad’s biological sister. Her family adopted Dad when he was a little boy.’
‘That can’t have been easy for either of you.’
‘It was OK for me, I didn’t know any different. I think it must have been hard on my dad though. He’s never dated anyone else. Not once. I think he must be kind of lonely.’
It was a bit eerie the way they were all listening so intently but I figured they were just being polite.
Although things seemed to be going well, I was a bit disappointed when after just a couple of hours Erik’s dad suggested he drive me home. To be honest if I had to leave so early, I would have much rather walked home slowly with Erik than take a quick fifteen minute drive back. However, I was so pleased things had gone well that I didn’t want to rock the boat by refusing.
‘I’ll come with you,’ said Erik quickly.
‘There’s no need!’ his dad snapped sharply.
‘It’s OK. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
I tried to sound upbeat. Erik looked really annoyed and I didn’t want him falling out with his dad.
The journey home was pretty quiet for the most part. We’d have been about five minutes from home before Logan started to talk. And when he did, I wished he’d stayed quiet.
‘For Erik’s sake, I’ll be polite and make conversation with you when he’s around. But be under no illusions. I don’t like my son dating you.’
I was stunned for a moment. I wanted to tell him to fuck off but I didn’t have the nerve.
‘I know things started badly with the photograph but Erik and I have gotten past that now. I understand why you don’t like me but you should at least give me a chance.’
‘You misunderstand, Sarah. I don’t dislike you, I don’t even know you. But I know my son and you are not what he needs right now.’
Suddenly the look on his face changed. He looked just like Erik had earlier that day at school. I looked down and could see he had stretched his hand out to me, just slightly, like Erik had.
‘What have you done?’ The panic in my voice was audible.
‘What I swore I would never do again. You will remember everything I’ve told you tonight but you will be physically unable to tell anyone. Especially Erik.’
I didn’t feel any different. Surely his spell had failed. Maybe it had been that long since he’d practised magic that he’d not done it right.
I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. Instead I just got out of the car and went running up the path and into the house.
‘Hey there,’ called Aunt Suze, as I went running upstairs. ‘Come in here and tell me all about it.’
I walked calmly back downstairs and into the lounge. I decided I would tell her what he’d said. Not about the spell of course but about thinking I wasn’t right for Erik. I’d show him. His magic wouldn’t work on me.
‘So come on then. How’d it go? Did they all fall in love with you?’
She beamed as she spoke, clearly expecting me to say yes.
‘Well, I wouldn’t say they fell in love with me.’
‘But it went well. They liked you, you got on OK?’
‘Yeah, it was great.’
I couldn’t believe it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the words out. I felt what he’d said but it was like I couldn’t even think the words.
‘So why don’t you look happy about it?’
‘I’m just tired. It’s been a long day. I think I’ll go to bed, if you don’t mind?’
I hugged Aunt Suze tightly then went up to bed. I was really upset that once again his dad had played a part in doing something to me without my permission. In some way I felt violated. I was a good person. I didn’t understand how he could be so mean. He’d seemed to genuinely like me once the ice had been broken. I just didn’t get it, what had I done wrong? I tried really hard to shrug it off but I was only sixteen and when I couldn’t reason it out I ended up just crying myself to sleep. I was gutted.
Chapter Seventeen – Ghosting
Erik
‘What the hell are you playing at?’ I demanded, when Dad finally got home.
‘I’ve no idea what you mean.’
‘What have you said to her?’
‘What are you implying, Erik? I just offered to take her home. Simple as that. You’re getting paranoid.’ He smiled.
I knew my dad. I knew he was lying. I thought about texting Sarah to ask her if she was OK but I didn’t. Whatever had gone on, I figured it would be better to speak to her than try to talk in a text. I would have Whispered to her but she wasn’t skilled enough to receive over that distance yet; she still needed to be able to see me to Whisper. In the end I just went up to my room and watched TV for a while. I was just thinking of turning in when Jared came up to see me.
‘Alright, E?’
I shrugged my shoulders. ‘I guess. I just w
ish I knew what had gone on.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Dad has said something to Sarah but I don’t know what.’
‘Don’t be daft. He would never do anything to upset you. You know that.’
‘Normally I would agree, I wouldn’t hesitate. But not where Sarah is concerned. You saw him when she first arrived. And it’s not just that. I have a connection with her that I haven’t had with anyone else, not ever. I sense her, I sense her feelings and her fears and I sense something now. Even over this distance, I can sense it.’
‘Are you sure you’re not just being a bit oversensitive about him taking her home without you?’
‘No. But tell me, why did he do that? Why didn’t he want me to go with him, if he had nothing to hide? He won’t tell me while he’s in this mood, but I will find out.’
Jared tried to be understanding, to be supportive, but it wasn’t great for him, stuck in the middle like he was.
The following morning I got up early, showered, changed, then headed out to Sarah’s around 6.30 a.m. When I arrived at her aunt’s, the blinds were still drawn so I sat on the wall opposite waiting for signs of life. I’d been there at least an hour, dying of boredom. I knew I shouldn’t have done it; I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t help it. I was sixteen, struggling to contain my natural urge to practise, and I was bored stupid! There was no one around, not a soul in sight. I sat, hands palm side up, and concentrated. In my mind, I had crossed the road, walked down the path, and into the house. I checked the lounge first; there was no one there, no one in the kitchen either. I hesitated for a moment, just a moment, mind you, before I left the lounge and started to climb the stairs. I stopped just before I reached the top. Her aunt was just waking and I could hear her getting out of bed. I moved onto the landing outside the room at the top on the right hand side. I knew instinctively that this was Sarah’s room. I turned to move through the door. Just then, her aunt came out of her room and walked across the landing and straight through me; she didn’t see or feel anything. I knew I should have left then, should have just broken the link and waited outside like any decent Warlock would have; like my brother would have; my father even – but I didn’t. I moved through the door and into Sarah’s room.
I couldn’t help but just stand and stare at her. She made the cutest little noises whilst she slept and her eyes were darting backwards and forwards. Clearly she was dreaming of something, of someone. I stood thinking, wondering whether it was me she was dreaming of. It was just too tempting. I had far more power, far more abilities than I’d ever made her aware of. In some ways I’d kept it to myself for fear of frightening her off. I would never intentionally do anything to scare her, to make her want to break up with me but, stood here watching her sleep, I just had to know what was going on in her head. I took a deep breath as I prepared to go inside her mind, to see her thoughts, her dreams. I was barely moments away when suddenly …
‘Sarah, are you awake yet?’ came a voice and a knock at the door.
She stirred slightly; I could see she had on PJs so I didn’t feel the need to leave just yet. I loved her way too much to be some kind of peeping Tom; I’d never use my power to treat her so badly. I just wanted to be close to her. I was wide awake and waiting just across the road – what I was doing was harmless and she need never know. Or so I thought.
She started to stretch out her arms, her eyes still tight shut. She started to mumble.
‘Yeah, I’m up!’
She smiled, clearly knowing she wasn’t actually up. I grinned helplessly, but not for long.
‘Erik! What the hell …?’
I withdrew quickly. What had happened? She saw me. How the hell could she have seen me? Panicked I got up from the wall and ran off down the street. This couldn’t happen. She couldn’t have seen me. I hadn’t gone far when my phone started to vibrate. I didn’t need to check it, I knew it was her.
‘Good morning. This is a nice surprise.’ I tried to sound as relaxed as I could.
‘What the hell were you doing in my bedroom? And don’t say you weren’t there. I saw you.’
‘I can explain …’
She cut me off before I could finish.
‘You’d better. Where are you?’
‘Just around the corner.’
‘Fine. I’ll see you in half an hour.’
She wasn’t happy. How could I have been so stupid? You’d think by know I’d have learned my lesson. This was the second time in as many weeks I’d used magic that had upset her. As I walked back to meet her, I had a feeling I hadn’t really experienced before. I felt scared. Terrified, in fact. Terrified she wouldn’t forgive me this time.
As I walked, properly this time, down the path and towards the house, I thought I might explode, I felt that nervous. I didn’t get chance to knock, as Sarah’s aunt opened the door just as I stepped up to it.
‘Hello there. You’re early, I’m not even sure Sarah is up yet. Do you want to come in? I’ll give her a shout.’
I’d only met Suzanne once before and to be honest I’d never really taken much notice of her. She was really pretty. I know there was no blood connection between them but it kind of made sense that as Sarah was so lovely, her aunt would be too.
‘Hey you,’ she shouted up the stairs, ‘you have a visitor!’
I went into the lounge and sat on the chair by the hearth. My insides were shaking. I could sense her anger now, it was really strong, overwhelming, but there was something else, something worse than anger. Disappointment. She felt disappointed in me. In sixteen years I’d never cried, not as a child and not now as a young man but I swear I thought in that moment I was gonna break down in front of her, and in front of her aunt. The emotion, the strength of her feelings was overpowering me; I struggled to keep my breathing steady. I wanted to stand up and walk out but how could I? If I stood any chance of keeping her I had stay, I had to stay and face what I had done, explain myself, apologize, and beg forgiveness. The look on her face as she walked into the lounge though told me this might be a battle I was gonna lose.
‘Good morning, sleepyhead,’ said her aunt, oblivious to how Sarah was feeling. ‘Coffee?’
‘Erm … no I’m good, thanks. I need to speak to Erik. Come on, let’s go for a walk.’
I stood up and went to kiss her on the cheek – she pulled away. It felt like I’d been knifed through the heart. I wanted to cry out in pain; this was the most un-Warlock-like I’d ever felt. This wasn’t good.
We ended up sitting on the wall across the road where this whole sorry mess had started.
‘Well?’
She stared at me coldly. I felt so ill at ease I thought I might hurl.
‘I’m sorry, I …’
‘So you were there? I can’t believe you did that, like some cheap thrill!’
She stood up to walk back to the house. I knew there and then if I let her go I might never get her back.
‘Please don’t go. Let me explain at least.’
‘No. I’ve had enough of your magic. You could use it for so many things but you choose to abuse me with it.’
‘What? I’ve never abused you.’
‘Really? First you rape my memories and then perv on me while I’m sleeping. What if I’d been naked? It’s disgusting. If I were the one with the magic I would never do that to you, to anyone. So no, I won’t let you explain, you don’t have that right.’
She was crying now and I had no idea how to make her stop without using yet more magic. Unconsciously I had turned my hands palm side up, I was just seconds away from making yet another mistake.
‘Don’t you dare!’ she screamed as she slapped me hard across the face. ‘Don’t you ever use magic on me or around me again. I hate you!’
I let her go. As she ran across the road and into the house I knew I hadn’t lost her. I just needed to give her space. After all, she couldn’t say she hated me if she didn’t actually have feelings for me.
Chapter Eighteen – Misundersta
ndings
Sarah
Aunt Suze ran up the stairs after me. ‘Sarah, what on earth is wrong?’
I couldn’t tell her – well, I couldn’t tell her everything.
‘I hate him, Aunt Suze. He ... he ... oh hell, I don’t know really. He just says and does the wrong thing. I’ve told him that some of the things he does upsets me but he still does them anyway.’
Aunt Suze looked angry, like she could hit someone.
‘When you say he does things, what things? Physical things?’
‘No. No. No, I didn’t mean that.’
Shit, I’d just made things worse. Aunt Suze now thinks he’s been forcing himself on me.
‘Well what then? I have all sorts going through my head now.’
‘It’s nothing. It’s probably just me, hormones or something.’
I tried to laugh it off, although laughing was the last thing I felt like doing.
I spent the rest of the day arguing with myself over how I’d handled things. I went back and forth between anger and guilt. I hadn’t really given him chance to explain but, then again, why should I? I wasn’t the one in the wrong. Not the most mature of attitudes I know, but right now I didn’t feel like being mature. I felt like crying like a baby, or screaming like one. I’d had enough shit from his dad and I was starting to think that perhaps Erik and I would be better apart. In all honesty, I didn’t think like that for long. I know I’d said I hated him but I didn’t; I was crazy about him. After the anger and guilt came the worry. What if he decided he didn’t want to see me anymore? What if I’d been snoring when he came into my room, would he still want to sleep with me? Although that wasn’t so much of a concern, Erik had made it quite clear that sex wasn’t something he wanted to do any time soon. Don’t get me wrong – we had passion, a lot of passion. Unfortunately it stopped at kissing. Sometimes, when we really got going, I thought I might faint, I got that aroused. We would be just short of tearing our clothes off when Erik would stop, bury his face into my neck, wait till his breathing had settled, and then take me home. His breathing was quite odd when he got worked up. I put it down to being a Warlock thing and didn’t concern myself with it; I actually found the intensity quite a turn-on. It was almost an animalistic thing, like raw sexual tension. But would we ever take that next step? Well, if he didn’t stop using magic on me without my permission then it was highly unlikely.