“Sure.”
He opens the door, closing it against the sudden rush of December air. His cheeks and nose are red as he stomps his boots free of slush and deposits the four filled-to-the-brim plastic bags he’s carrying on my bed. He looks up at me, then down at my pants. I’m suddenly hyper-aware of how immature and stupid my pajamas are.
“Cute pants.” He drawls sarcastically.
“I’m sorry it’s not Victoria’s Secret,” I snipe.
“I’ll let you in on a regular secret. But just this once. My seduction real talk doesn’t come without a price, normally.”
He picks out a can of potato chips from the bag and flops on the opposite side of the bed.
“Lingerie is actually pretty boring.”
I quirk an eyebrow. “You’re joking, right?”
He chuckles. “Not right now, no.”
“I thought that was, like,” I munch on an M&M from the bag. “All dudes like seeing women in scanty underwear. That’s supposed to be a thing. And for you? Especially so.”
“It turns out what’s underneath is a lot more fun than some pieces of silk with ruffles on them.”
“Be honest - you just prefer naked women to everything. Ever.”
“Guilty as charged!” He clutches his heart like he’s been shot and falls back on the bed, ladling chips into his mouth. “What about you? Naked women your thing, too?”
“Ugh. I am not discussing this with you.”
“Aw, c’mon. Just when things were getting interesting.”
“It’s so typical of you to think sex is the only thing interesting to talk about.”
“What?” It’s his turn to quirk a brow. “No, sex is really boring to talk about. I just like seeing you blush. And the topic makes you blush a lot.”
“It makes most people blush!” I snap, scooting away from him.
“You’d be surprised,” He makes his voice singsong. “The girls I know don’t even bat an eyelash at the dirtiest thing. But you? You light up like a bonfire in August if I even insinuate it. It’s fun to watch.”
“So that’s what I am? Fun to watch.”
He rolls over on his elbows, watching me from under his slightly-damp, impossible-messy-yet-perfect-looking bangs. “Yup.”
I must look upset, because he reaches out and ruffles my hair.
“Hey now, don’t go assuming the wrong thing.”
“I feel like I’m a pet, or a child.”
“To be fair, you are kind of adorable.”
“What?” I nearly choke on an M&M. I keep coughing, and motion for him to give me the water bottle he’s holding.
“Uh, you might not wanna -”
I grab it from him, chugging it immediately. The sting in my throat clears up the M&M and the mystery of what exactly I just drank.
“Alcohol!” I gasp. “You son of a -”
“I tried to tell you!” He grabs the bottle back. The familiar buzzing sensation down my limbs alerts me to the booze in my blood.
“Why the hell would you put it in a water bottle?” I ask.
“I didn’t want to bring a whole bottle back and make it look like I was trying to get you drunk,” he sighs. “So I just brought a water bottle in for me.”
I stand, and instantly wobble. Kai jumps to his feet and eases me down on the bed.
“Holy shit, how much did you drink? Are you okay?”
“I-I’m fine,” I manage. “It’s vodka, and I had three gulps - three shots, more or less. I’ll be alright. Just don’t -”
I pull his hand off my shoulder, and he starts back.
“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s fine,” I murmur. “I’m just not good with guys touching me.”
He’s quiet. The cartoons keep playing in the background, like some kind of sick mockery of our silence. I pick a bag of fritos out of the gas station haul.
“Thanks for buying all this, by the way.” I say. Kai rummages through another bag. He pulls out a container of guacamole and uncaps it, handing it to me.
“Can’t have salty-ass chips without some guac.”
“Agreed.”
We watch the TV for a bit, Kai sitting with his legs splayed against the side of the bed, on the floor, while I’m on top of it. He’s suddenly careful about making sure our hands don’t touch when we reach in the same chip bag, or pass each other energy drinks. The booze is hitting me hard, and I start laughing at every little thing in the cartoon, and Kai laughs with me. A joke has us both practically in tears, and a thump and a shout of ‘shut up’ from the wall next door is the only thing that ends our laughing spree. We cover our mouths and struggle to contain ourselves.
“Shh, shhh. Shut up,” I wave my hand at him. “I don’t wanna get kicked out.”
“It’s okay,” He scoffs. “I’ll drive us home if we do.”
“You can’t! The roads are closed, dumbass, and it’s cold and you’re drunk.”
“Uh, no, you’re the drunk one. I haven’t touched the stuff. Gotta have a clear head in case you pass out.”
I flinch, the words too convenient, too much like I’ve been expecting. He must see how I react, because he backtracks.
“Shit, shit shit. I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant in case something happened to you -”
I shove the water bottle of vodka in his face. “Chug, mister.”
“What?”
“I can’t be the only one drunk, here. You have to be compromised, too. It’s gotta be equal or I can’t…” I take a breath. “I can’t. I don’t want to go back to my Dad’s, but I can’t do sleep here if you’re more in control than I am. It scares me too much.”
Kai’s mismatched eyes go soft. He takes the water bottle and determinedly downs nearly half of it. When he comes up for air, he salutes.
“Reporting for duty, ma’am.”
I laugh and grab the bottle back from him. “That was a whole shitload. Are you gonna be okay?”
“I had to catch up. If I die here, donate my corpse to science.”
“Right, because I definitely want a bunch of Kai clones running around and shacking up with every girl under the sun. No thanks.”
“Hey man, an army of shag bots with my devastating good-looks would be unstoppable.”
“I would go on a personal vendetta to assassinate every single one of them.”
He laughs. “Train for tens years under a waterfall.”
“Get really good at guns,” I add, stuffing peanuts in my mouth. “Kung-fu cage fights every night to toughen my muscles up.”
“No guys would mess with you then,” He says. “You’d be safe from their evil clutches.”
“Truly. Why haven’t I thought of this sooner?”
“Assassin training might be a little expensive.”
“And I’m broke.”
“We’re all broke. We’re in college.”
“And my Dad hates me.”
“Join the club!” He toasts at me with a cheeto bag.
“Your Dad sounds way worse than mine.” I say.
“He’s the worst guy alive,” Kai’s eyes get distant for a moment, but then he forces a smile. “I bet your Mom’s pretty great though.”
“Oh, are you kidding? She’s the best. When I graduate and get a good job, I’m gonna help her out with all the stuff at the house - renovations, mortage. All that good stuff.”
“That’s awfully noble of you.”
“What else am I gonna do with the money? Use it on my husband? My kids? Yeah right. That’s never gonna happen.”
Kai changes the channel to other cartoons, and I try a question.
“What about your Mom? Do you like her?”
There’s a beat, and then he says; “She’s dead.”
I instantly regret bringing it up. “Crap. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry -”
“It’s okay,” He assures me with a smile. “It was a long time ago.”
The image of him at the graveyard suddenly runs through my mind. Is that wh
o he was visiting? I want to ask, but it would be crazily insensitive to ask at this moment. Or ever. I barely know this guy - I have no right to ask him about his parents, deceased or otherwise. As if trying to break the tension, Kai stands up and stretches.
“Shit. I really fucked up, didn’t I?”
“What?”
“The kiss,” He groans. “You don’t like being touched by dudes, and I went and kissed you out of the blue. I’m a douchebag.”
“Except I -” I swallow hard, the booze demanding honesty from me. “I liked it.”
Kai freezes, and I can’t look him in the eyes as I keep blathering.
“I mean, you shouldn’t go around kissing girls you don’t like in the first place, it’s kind of a dick move.”
He frowns, and I keep talking like it’ll save me from looking stupider than I already do.
“It just gets someone’s hopes up, you know?” I laugh.
I stuff more candy in my mouth to shut it up. Kai finally speaks.
“Have you ever liked someone?”
“There was one guy,” I say. “Back in high school. He was different than the other guys - really quiet, but really smart, you know?”
Kai just listens intently, and I can feel his gaze on my cheek.
“He got bullied a lot, and I felt bad for him.”
“So you dated him because you felt bad for him?” His voice is volatile all of a sudden.
“No, not at all,” I insist. “We didn’t really date. But we did hang out. We were friends. I think, if he hadn’t hated himself so much, we could’ve been more than that. But he refused to let me touch him, or even hold his hand. I think he was afraid of what people would say about me. But I really liked him. He was funny, and sweet.”
“Then what happened?”
“I moved to another school. We lost touch,” I sigh. “I feel shitty about it pretty much everyday for letting him slip away. He was a good guy. I hope he’s happy, wherever he is. He deserves to be happy.”
I hear a rustling, and look up to see Kai leaning on the bed, face only a few inches from my own.
“W-What’s wrong?” I ask. He just stares into my eyes intently. After a moment, he looks away.
“It’s nothing. Nevermind.”
“Why so prickly all of a sudden?” I frown. “Where’s the usual smooth-and-smiley Kai I know?”
“And hate,” He finishes.
“What?”
“You hate me. I’m not stupid - I know I’m not your favorite.”
“Hate is a little strong,” I say finally. “I don’t hate you, okay? I barely know you.”
He starts laughing, and for a moment I’m confused. When he stops, he wipes at his eye.
“Sorry. I must seem crazy. It’s just ironic, is all.”
“What’s ironic?”
He opens his mouth, then closes it. Before I can blink, he’s near me again, the smell of him pepper and honey.
“Can I kiss you again?” He asks.
My body tingles, every hair on my neck standing on end at the low tone of his voice. I want his lips again, but this time I want them everywhere - they’ve been haunting my thoughts for days. I lean in and capture his lips with my own. He invades my mouth instantly, a feral hunger in the way he snakes his hand to the back of my neck and twists his fingers in my hair. He tastes like vodka and sugar, chocolate and salt, everything sweet and sharp at once. I have to feel more of him - I run my hands under his shirt and across his smooth, warm skin. This is Kai Jackson. This is how he feels, how he tastes - the drop-dead gorgeous boy who’s set me on fire. In my eagerness, my hand brushes a little too low, the rock-hard ridge there startling me. He pulls away from the kiss, hissing lowly.
“Shit. This is what you do to me, lioness. I didn’t want you to know that.”
I can’t even feel my blush with how hot my body has gotten at this point.
“S-So what?” I manage. “I bet you get them all the time.”
“Not like this. Not with anyone else. It’s like this every time I see you smile, or laugh. Moral of the story; I’m a sick fucking perv and you deserve better.”
“But I’m not -” My voice cracks. “Me? Why me? I’m not your type.”
“You are exactly my type,” he groans. “You’ve always been -”
He stops himself, his expression pained; whether from the tension in his jeans or some internal emotional conflict, I can’t tell.
“Everything I touch I ruin,” He continues. “And I refuse to ruin you.”
I lean and kiss him again, that same wildfire rushing through my veins - hotter and hotter with every second our lips touch. I pull away.
“What if I want you to ruin me?”
He stares at me for only a moment, and the next second I’m on my back, my hands undoing the zipper of his fly and his fingers unclasping my bra expertly. Pure adrenaline shoots through me as his thumbs glance under my bra and over my nipples. He pulls me in for another kiss, this one so much softer than the last, yet darker. He bites at my bottom lip, pulling it gently, and the pleasure-pain jolts me down to my core. This can’t be happening. Kai Jackson can’t want me as much as I want him. But a sick, small part of me knows he’ll leave. A part of me knows this is him just using me like he uses every other girl. But I want to be used by this beautiful boy. I want to be touched by him, loved by him, if only for a few moments, and if only in an illusion. I want to be loved by someone - I want the horrible memories to be replaced by better ones. It’s not much, but this is a start.
And right now, it feels like the end, too. It’s everything. Everything warm and amazing in the world, everything I’ve been missing. He kisses a trail down my neck, to my collarbone, and I pull my shirt over my head. He sucks in a sharp breath as his two-tone eyes take in my breasts, and I start to cover them when he smirks.
“Here, let’s make it even.”
He pulls his shirt off, every inch of his glorious olive-tone chest revealed in the low-light. It’s toned and lean, and begs to be touched. I run my hands over him, and he chuckles in low approval. He leans in and kisses his way up my stomach, to the bottom of my breasts, and envelopes one of my nipples with his hot mouth. And then suddenly, he’s everywhere - his mouth and tongue tracing patterns in my skin, his fingers pulling my hips closer and my pants down.
“For the record,” He laughs. “I think these are adorable.”
I flush. “Shut up.”
“Seriously,” He leans up and kisses me under my ear, sending a tingle through my whole body. “Just like you.”
“I don’t want -” I struggle to breathe. “I don’t want to be adorable. I want to be sexy like… like all the other -”
I chew on my lip, reality seeping through a little. Like all the other girls, I want to finish. A frown mars Kai’s beautiful face, and he puts his hands on either side of my face.
“I told you, lioness - you’re the only one. You always have been.”
I can’t resist his lips. I kiss him with everything I have, and his soft groan against my lips makes my body burn hotter.
“My name is Evelyn,” I insist. “You can say it.”
“I do,” He breathes. “I have. I’ve said it over and over again, when no one’s around. Shit - I’ve said it every night since I saw you in the club.”
“Say it now,” I whisper. To my surprise, he pins my wrists together with one of his hands and bites my neck, not hard enough to break skin, but just hard enough to remind me I’m his. He kisses the bite immediately, as if to apologize for something I liked in the first place.
“Evelyn,” He murmurs. His kisses move down again, past my belly, to the apex of my thighs. “Evelyn. Oh god, Evelyn.”
His fingers dip below my panties, and I’m suddenly aware of how childish they are - white, with a tiny red bow. He has to know by now how inexperienced I am. What can I offer the other girls can’t? Why me? If I kiss him more, maybe I’ll find the answer. If I search his body with my hands, maybe it’ll become clear. I can’
t help the moan that escapes when his fingers dive lower, teasing me mercilessly. I’m too embarrassed to look at him, but when I manage to, I see his eyes riveted to my face, watching my every squirm and moan.
“I want you to feel the same way you make me feel,” He says. “I want to drive you crazy the way you drive me crazy.”
His fingers move faster, hitting some deep part of me that has my toes curling.
“K-Kai -”
“There we go,” He laughs. “Now it’s your turn to say my name.”
A ball of electric pleasure coils up in me, and my legs quiver as my voice gets louder. Kai silences me with a kiss, then murmurs in my ear.
“Come, Evelyn. Let me see you come.”
Everything explodes at once, sparks erupting all over my skin as my vision goes white for a split second. The pleasure drowns everything, but it can’t drown the sound of my own shivering gasp that sounds only vaguely like a real word - his name. He laughs as he withdraws, sounding pleased with himself. I languish, trying to get my heartrate under control, watching him through fuzzy vision as he takes something from his jeans and unwraps it. My eyes focus all at once on his rock-hard cock, proud and swollen with need. He slides the condom onto it in a smooth motion, but I reach out for it, pulling his narrow hips close.
“Oh?” He lifts a brow. “Do you really want me that badly?”
I pout. “Y-You insufferable -”
His laugh is warm, and he kisses me again. “-bastard. I know, I know.”
Our rhythm together is slow, luxurious, like he’s taking all the time in the world. But I want more. I want more right now, faster. But he ignores my demands, smirking with every stroke.
“I told you,” Kai says. “I’m going to drive you just as crazy as you drive me. Until then, you’re mine. Every inch of you is mine to tease, to kiss, to fuck.”
His words send a pleased spasm through me, and it resonates in my body. He must feel it, because his mouth drops a little and he glares down at me.
“That’s cheating.”
“I didn’t -” I pant. “I’m not -”
His glare turns to a smile as he captures my lips with his. “Aha. I get it - you didn’t have any control over that, did you? God, you’re fun.”
I can barely think straight, let alone construct a sentence. And he doesn’t give me time to recover - teasing my nipple with his tongue as he plunges deeper. My rational mind is screaming at me - Kai Jackson is taking me in this motel bed like he’s taken a million other girls. I’m not special. I’m not someone he likes. But as his thrusts send sparks shooting straight into my veins and I see white, I forget it all - the worry, the stress, the loneliness, and all that’s left is Kai’s name.
Dissolve Page 7