Annabelle felt insulted by the way Catherine described Floyd and his profession, it was too much like her father. “You do not know him,” she announced while standing up. “You cannot pass judgement.”
“You cannot know him either.” Catherine racked her brain desperately, trying to find a way to make her friend see sense. “You must have only met him recently or I would have heard of him.”
“So?” Annabelle folded her arms defiantly across her chest. She was not pleased with the way Catherine got a little too close to her. “I do not need to know him long to know that I love him.”
“But will you love him forever when you are living in a tiny shack with nothing to eat? Will you be as happy when you have two starving children attached to you and no way to feed them. Will it still seem like such a good idea when you never see your stable boy because he is working for some other Lady, trying to earn you enough money to live?”
Annabelle felt chastened, but she did not want her friend to see that. She tried her best to rearrange her expression but she did not manage it quick enough. Catherine could see that she was getting through so she continued quickly, hoping to push the point through.
“Annabelle, if you decide to go through with this, you will not only lose your money and your title, you will also lose your family. Your father will disown you, your mother will be forced to stick by him.” She pursed her lips, knowing there was also something else that would have to happen. “It will also be difficult for all your friends to have anything to do with you. You will be tainted, we will all be made to keep away from you so our reputations stay intact.”
“I...” Annabelle had not thought about that, not really. She had been so wrapped up in her selfish thoughts that nothing else had mattered.
“I know that you do not like Lord Ashdown,” Catherine spoke softly. She wanted Annabelle to know that she understood, even if she did not really. Catherine had never felt any feelings that were worth risking everything for. “But you will find happiness with him in the end.” She held onto Annabelle’s hands and gave her a sympathetic look. “I am sure most women feel unhappy at first, but soon things start to look up. Maybe the things said about him are not all true...”
“But they are,” Annabelle whined helplessly. “He is horrible. Every moment I have spent with him has been awful. He has said terrible things to me and touched me when I did not want him to.”
Catherine did not want to say it aloud, but she felt certain that no other man would want to know Annabelle now that she had been kissed by a stable boy. Maybe it was not a known fact, but these things had a way of getting out.
“Maybe he is acting out because he is nervous.” Catherine knew that she was reaching desperately, but she could not allow her friend to delve into these depths. Especially when she felt certain that it was on such a whim. “Maybe once he has gotten to know you better, he will calm down.”
“And the courtesans?” Annabelle cocked an eyebrow at Catherine. Some of her points were a little too reasonable for her, she needed to find a way to defend what she had done. “You believe that will stop too?”
“Possibly. Probably.” Catherine felt all her hard work flying out the window. “Your father would not have chosen him without good reason. You know how protective he is over the Hathaway reputation. He is worse than most people.”
“I suppose you are right.” Annabelle nodded agreeably. “But I cannot help how I feel.”
Catherine rolled her eyes, letting some of her frustration out. “So, what is your plan?” she asked angrily. “How do you intend to be with this stable boy? Are you going to stop the wedding half way through?”
“There will not be a wedding,” Annabelle answered confidently. “I am certain that I will have it solved by then.”
“Solved?” Catherine threw her hands in the air exasperatedly. “How? I do not wish to be rude but you are not thinking straight at all. You are allowing your imagination to get the better of you, Annabelle. Life is not all one big adventure, sometimes there are things that we simply have to do. It is fine to dream in our minds, but life is not like that.”
“I understand why you are so concerned, Catherine, and I am grateful for it, but I know that this is right for me. For girls like Edith and Harriett, maybe even you, marrying a Lord and being kept in a certain lifestyle is fine, but for me it is not.”
“Annabelle, stop it. It is not just you at stake here. It is everyone...” But Catherine could tell that she was losing her friend, Annabelle’s pig-headed determination had already made up its mind. “Please, just think about this before you do anything silly.”
“Catherine, I have done nothing but think about this. This is the right thing for me.”
The girls stared at one another, both seeing each other through new eyes. They had always been friends, there had never been anything to tear them apart, but on this subject, they could not understand each other’s point of view.
Catherine could not understand what would drive someone to sacrifice everything that they had been given. She did not understand why Annabelle could not see that they were the lucky ones. The lower born people had hard lives, they had to work for everything that they had and it would never be as much as the richer folk. In Catherine’s mind, there was no comparison in their lives.
Annabelle wanted Catherine to understand what it felt like to be in love, but she knew she could not. Until Annabelle felt it herself she did not get it either. She hoped that Catherine would just trust that she knew what was best.
“I must be going now,” Annabelle said quietly. “And thank you for listening to me. I appreciate it. I know it is hard to keep it a secret and I would appreciate it if you kept it to yourself.”
“Of course, I will!” Even if Catherine did not agree with Annabelle, she was still her best friend. She would never break that trust. “I just hope that you think about it and you make the right decision.”
“I will.”
Annabelle hoped that she was not walking out of Catherine’s bedroom for the last time. She did not want their friendship to end over this. She had risked a lot telling Catherine the truth and her friend would have to risk a lot too by never telling anyone. But she trusted Catherine with her life and she did not think her friend would ever let her down.
Chapter 14
After speaking with Catherine, Annabelle’s mind kept twisting up in unwelcome knots. She knew what she wanted to do, and what she definitely did not want to do, but the thought of letting everyone else down hurt her more than expected. She had not really thought of how her love would affect anyone else. She had been prepared to throw her own reputation away, but she did not want to affect her parents, or her sister and her unborn child. Everyone would be affected by this if she went through with it.
“Annabelle, may I speak with you, please?” She was shocked out of her deep thoughts by her mother coming to speak with her. “In private?”
Annabelle nodded, but she felt very confused. She had not spoken much to anyone recently, and the last conversation that she had shared with Josephine was a very cryptic one. Maybe if so much had not happened afterwards, Annabelle would have remembered that beforehand.
“Where are we going, Mother?” she finally felt compelled to ask as they walked right through the house. “What do you want to talk to me about?”
But Josephine did not answer her. She felt fit to burst but she had not worked so hard on this plan just to ruin it at the last moment. It was not until they were safely shut away in her bedroom that she finally felt brave enough to speak.
“I had a horse riding lesson yesterday,” she started, with an innocent enough tone. “That was an interesting experience.”
“But you already know how to ride?” Annabelle said questioningly, clearly not understanding what her mother was hinting at. “Why would you have a lesson?”
“I wanted to get to know a certain Floyd Brewer better.”
Annabelle’s heart dropped. Of course, how could she not hav
e connected the dots together? She had spent so much time worrying about her father finding out that she had been spending time with Floyd, that she had not even considered her mother.
“I see,” she answered with a gulp. Maybe denial would work. “And do you think that you learned a lot?”
“I think Floyd Brewer is a very nice boy. One who will go far in life. Do you know he has a plan to open his own riding stables?”
Annabelle knew that this was a test. If she answered yes then she opened herself up to a lot of possible trouble, but if she did not then she was lying. She did not want to lie to her mother. “I have heard,” she eventually admitted. “Do you think he will do it?”
“With the right woman behind him.”
Nerves shot through Annabelle’s system, she could tell that her mother was trying to extract information from her but she could not give it just yet. Not while she did not know where her mother’s loyalties were. One moment she seemed very keen for Annabelle to shut up and do what her father told her, the next she was giving her cryptic messages, suggesting that the wedding might not have to happen in the end.
“Yes,” she drawled slowly. “I suppose so.”
“Annabelle, I know.” Josephine finally gave in and admitted that she was aware. She hadn’t wanted to dive in with the information in case it scared her daughter off, but now she just wanted to have the conversation before Otto found them and spoiled everything. “I know what is going on. I... I saw you. I saw you and Floyd... kissing.” She whispered the last word, just as an extra precaution.
Annabelle felt her entire body ice over, her face turned an ashen shade of white. She was not expecting that at all. Even if her mother suspected that something might be going on, she did not think that she would know. Annabelle’s breath caught in her throat, she felt her emotions ice over completely. The dream that was starting to build up in her head shattered into nothing.
“I... I do not know what to say,” she gasped. “I am sorry.”
“No.” Josephine shook her head with a smile. “You are not sorry, and I do not blame you. You are in love.”
Oh! Boiling hot relief crashed over Annabelle in waves. Her mother did not seem angry for her potentially foolish behaviour. Her heart rate returned to normal and the fear calmed right down. It was almost as if her lungs had opened up and everything felt alright again.
“You are in love with a man that you are not betrothed to.”
Annabelle nodded slowly. “Yes, I am, and I do not know what to do about it.” She took a seat on the bed next to her mother and looked up at her with sad eyes. “I keep trying to tell everyone that Lord Ashdown is a terrible man, that he is not right for me but no one will listen. He said terrible things to me, he put his hands on my body when no one else was in the room, I know that marriage to him will be awful.”
Josephine clenched her hands together angrily as she listened to her daughter speak. This was why she knew with utter certainty that she was doing the right thing. The thought of Annabelle with Lord Ashdown made her skin crawl. “I know that too,” she answered softly. “I know he is a terrible person, I knew that even before you came to me for help.”
Annabelle could not recall asking her mother for help, but she sure needed it now which was why she kept her mouth shut.
“You need my help to escape a wedding that you feel you cannot go through with. Am I right in assuming that?”
“Yes,” Annabelle whispered. “I keep trying to find a way out. That was the truth even before I met Floyd, but now that I know him, I do not want anything else.” She held her mother’s fingers, hoping that Josephine would understand her even if no one else did. “He has made me see that things could be very different. He has made me see that there is so much more to life and what it could be.”
“Have you really thought about this? Do you know it is what you want?”
Josephine needed to be absolutely certain before she did anything. She was sure that her daughter could never love Watson, she knew for a fact that he was a horrible person. She had even gone out of her way to ensure that Floyd was a decent person before she acted. Everything was as she wanted it to be, but if there was even a scrap of doubt in her daughter’s eyes she would stop this now before it went too far, before Annabelle risked her own life and Josephine risked her marriage.
“Mother, this is what I want. I have thought about it non-stop. I know that it is risky, I know that I will not ever have the life that I have now, but it is still what I want.” She sighed loudly, letting all of her sadness out. “But it cannot be so, I cannot have the life that I want because it shall affect so many other people.”
“But what if I helped you?”
“What do you mean?” Annabelle asked cautiously. “You cannot help me. I know it is what I want, but I also know that it cannot be.”
“But what if I tell you that I will help you?” Josephine pulled a wad of cash out of her pocket and showed it to Annabelle. “What if I could give you the money that you need to get started?”
Annabelle’s eyes bulged out of her head. She had never seen so much money all in one go. She did not know how much was in that pile but it looked like it was enough to keep her going for a very long time... if she accepted it. “What is that?” she gushed desperately. “What are you doing with all that money? Where did you get it?”
Josephine had stolen it from Otto, she had taken it from his safe, but Annabelle did not need to know that. That was her issue, it was her problem to deal with. “It does not matter, I just want you to have it.”
“But why?” Annabelle still could not wrap her head around the idea. “To do what?”
“To get away, of course.” Josephine gave Annabelle the most reassuring smile that she could manage. “To escape before you have to marry that awful Watson. I do not want you with him, I want to give you a start. This money will not last you forever, but it will help.” She nodded at Annabelle, forcing her daughter to reach forward to tentatively grab the money from her. “But I think that you shall have to take Floyd with you, because he has seen more of the world. He knows how to find a job and keep himself going. You have not seen that side of the world yet, but if you do not wish to marry him then you shall have to. I am sure you will find a way to be very happy with Floyd too.”
“You think... I should leave with him? You believe that we should run away together?”
“That is what you want, is it not?”
“It is, but it is only a dream. It cannot really happen.” Annabelle was utterly terrified of getting her hopes up just for it all to come to nothing. “I cannot actually leave. I dream all the time about leaving home before Father forces me to marry Lord Ashdown, but I will not leave if it is going to affect you.”
“Annabelle, I have risked everything for you to be happy. I want you to have a lovely life and you will not with that horrible man. Just because he is a Lord does not make him right for you. I know that this is scary and I am aware that your sheltered life shall make it hard, but Floyd will help you. He is one and twenty years of age and I am certain that he will look after you.”
“I know, but...”
“But nothing. If this is what you want, then this is what you should do.” Josephine grinned brightly at her beloved daughter. “Plus, you have always been the adventurous type, have you not? Will this not be like an adventure? Yes, you will have to do some very different things, I do not think it will be easy working and living alone, but I am sure that you are strong enough to survive anything.”
Annabelle’s heart darted all over her body, she did not know whether she should be afraid or overjoyed. This was all that she had been dreaming about for weeks, but now that the possibility was real, she felt a little overwhelmed by it all. Then again, there was no longer any excuse, was there? There were no more things to hold them back. She now had the money to at least get started with her new life, her mother had given her permission which meant she did not have to worry about disappointing her family. Or at least n
ot all of them...
“What about Father?” she asked curiously. “He will not like this. He will not like what it does to the family reputation.”
“You leave your father to me. He is my problem, not yours. I listened to him when it came to Beatrice’s future, it is time for him to listen to me when it comes to yours.” Seeing the distress in her daughter’s eyes, Josephine felt compelled to continue. “You do not need to worry, the Hathaway family will survive this. I am sure that once your father comes to terms with the idea, he will find a way to spin it to his advantage anyway, you know what he is like.”
“Do you think he will tell people that I have died?” Annabelle knew what Otto was like, he would probably prefer people to assume that she was dead than anything else. An icy hollow sensation filled up her chest as she considered the idea of never being able to return. “Or that I am in a mental institution?”
“He will not tell anyone anything of the sort, I will make sure of it,” Josephine reassured Annabelle. “That is not something that you need to worry about anyway. You need to focus on getting away before you are forced into that dreadful wedding dress again.”
Annabelle rolled the money up tightly between her finger tips and she pulled her mother into a tight embrace. “Thank you, Mother, you have no idea what this means to me. Finally, I have a choice and it feels wonderful.”
Elated tears rolled down Annabelle’s cheeks, a sense of freedom filled her up. She still did not know exactly what she intended to do, she wanted to think it through until she was absolutely certain first – this was the one area of her life where being impulsive would not be beneficial – but it felt incredible to finally have a way out.
“I am just glad to help you, that is all,” Josephine answered with a thick, emotional voice. “All I have ever wanted is for my girls to be happy. I know this will make you happier than Lord Ashdown ever can.” She pulled back to stare at her daughter, hoping that it would not be for the very last time. “Of course, I do not want you to go, I shall miss you terribly, but if you do I think it is best for you to leave sooner rather than later. Do not let plans get too far. The more of the wedding that is planned, the angrier your father will be.”
Annabelle Enchants the Rejected Earl: A Historical Regency Romance Novel Page 10