“I see,” James said, a little colder this time. He stepped back and held onto Annabelle’s shoulders so that he could stare into her eyes as they had this conversation. He needed to understand exactly what she was trying to tell him. “And you still are? This is why you cannot marry me?”
“He has come here to find me,” Annabelle admitted. “He spent his whole life after I was forced from Mr. Brentwood’s home making his life better, working towards a future, and now he has achieved that.”
“He wants you?” James gasped finally realising the magnitude of all of this. “Your first love, the man that you clearly risked everything for, he has come back for you.”
“Yes.” Annabelle nodded. “I am sorry.” James went a deathly shade of white but he remained silent. It was up to her to continue talking. “I am sorry, James, I truly do feel terrible about this, but I do not feel that it is right to marry you if my heart lies with someone else.”
“Yes.” James seemed to take the news too well. “I understand; you will always be asking yourself what would have happened if you left with him. You will never be able to commit to me completely. Your mind will always be with someone else.”
He glanced down at Annabelle, feeling his heart shatter in his chest. He loved Annabelle, he adored this woman, he would never have asked her to marry him if he did not... but she did not love him. He could see it in her face, she did not want to crush him, but her heart truly belonged to this other man.
I need to remain strong, he told himself. I have to keep in control. Annabelle cannot see me weep, she feels bad enough about all of this. I shall move on; I will find someone else. It might take me time but I will do it.
“I see,” he said, gravely. “I do, and I know that I deserve someone that loves me wholly.” He gulped noisily, trying to keep his emotion inside. “Just know that I love you, Annabelle, I think I always will, but part of that love is me wanting you to be happy. If this man will make you happy, then that is what I want for you.”
James’s kind words affected Annabelle deeply, she was so touched by his kindness. She knew that she had hurt him, but he was right. He did deserve someone who loved him with everything that his future wife would.
“Thank you, James.” She squeezed his hands and smiled up at him. “You are a very good man.”
Then Annabelle lifted herself up onto her tip toes and she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. As her lips brushed against his skin, she did not get that prickle, she did not feel that burst of excitement which just confirmed that she was doing the right thing. She would never feel the way about James as she felt about Floyd. Just because he was a nice man, it did not mean they could make it forever. As she fell back to the ground, Annabelle pressed the engagement ring into James’s hands. In all honesty, she had felt on edge ever since he gave it to her. It had never felt quite right.
“When will I see you again?” James asked curiously as he stepped back. “Or are you going to leave town with this mystery man of yours?”
“I do not know,” Annabelle told him honestly. She had not known what she was going to say to James until she arrived, she had no idea what she was going to do next. “But I do hope this is not the last time we see one another forevermore. You are a wonderful man, James. I have enjoyed every moment I have spent with you.”
As Annabelle moved to walk away from James, she felt a part of her tear away, but she kept on going. She could not let guilt make her stay, that would be worse for both of them.
Her leaving was the only way.
Epilogue
Every step towards Annabelle’s quaint countryside home felt like it was taking Floyd to meet his maker. He thought that he would feel alright when he made this journey, he assumed that he would simply be alright with getting the closure he needed either way. All day long he had tried his best to tell himself that getting to the end of this mess would be the best way... even if he did not get the answer that he so desperately wanted.
But as he made each step, that became less and less true. He wanted the answer that he wanted, and that was all there was to it.
Maybe she will still get married to the man she knows better now, he told himself gravely. If that is the case, then I must take the news in a dignified manner.
As he reached Annabelle’s front door, he realized that his breaths were coming out laboured and panicked. He stopped for just a few moments, hoping that standing still would help his breathing to return to normal.
It did not help. If anything, the longer the time he stood there, the worse he felt. In his mind, this was something that he had been working towards for five very long years. To learn that all of that would not work out would be devastating.
Putting it off will not change the answer, he convinced himself. I simply need to get in there to find out either way.
With a strong determination, Floyd took a step forward and he curled up his fist ready to knock on the door. Just as his skin was about to connect with the wood, it swung open unexpectedly to reveal a terribly worried looking Annabelle on the other side.
“Oh,” she gasped in shock, clutching onto her chest as if she was trying to calm her heart rate down. “Floyd, it is you. I was just coming to look for you. I did not know where you were.”
Her words were enough to encourage Floyd to think that it was good news, but the way that her hands wrung anxiously together made him much less sure. Her body language was all at odds, which only amped up the emotional mess that he was experiencing inside.
“I...” he started, before his words trailed off. He coughed awkwardly and wished that he could glean more from the way that Annabelle was looking at him. “I erm, I do not know where to start.”
“No, me neither,” Annabelle whispered. “This is rather a strange situation that we find ourselves in.”
Floyd moved from foot to foot as he desperately racked his brain. Standing there, saying nothing, dancing around the subject was doing nothing to help the internal battle that he was fighting. He needed to get Annabelle started before he went insane.
“I need to get back tonight,” he said sadly. “I do not wish to, but as I have said before, it is the only way this can work.” He paused, trying to give Annabelle a chance to speak, but she said nothing. She bit down on her bottom lip and glanced her eyes towards the ground instead. “Like I said, I shall be gone forever once I leave...”
“I do not want that,” Annabelle gushed, finally opening her mouth. She took a step closer to Floyd as she did but he remained stiff and frozen. He was not going to do anything until he knew exactly what was happening. “I do not want to never see you again.”
That did not sound like a promise to come with him. “I understand,” he said morosely. “But that is the way that it has to be...”
“You do not understand,” Annabelle counteracted as a bright smile spread across her lips. “I do not wish you to leave alone. Much as I love my life here, and I have built up a fantastic existence for myself, I am ready to take on my next adventure with you. I am ready to leave all of this behind, to move to Ashbridge, to be with you.”
“You... are?” Even though it was exactly what Floyd wanted he could not quite believe it. It seemed unreal for him to actually get what he wanted.
“Floyd, I left my life behind to be with you before and I would like to do it again. You have your riding school where you live, you have built up a reputation and a successful business. I have a job here, but it is one that I can do anywhere.” She reached out and took Floyd’s hands, noticing the tremble in them as she did. “I have wanted to be yours for six years and now this can be the truth of it.”
Floyd ran his finger along Annabelle’s finger, noticing that the third one on her left hand was bare. “What about your fiancé?” he asked cautiously regardless. It was only right that he be certain about her potential relationship status.
“I told him that I cannot be his bride because my heart has always been with someone else,” Annabelle rasped. “I believe he was u
pset, but he understands that he deserves someone who can give themselves to him entirely.
Floyd cupped Annabelle’s face in his hands and he tugged her lightly towards him. He was so glad that he could finally touch her again, that she could finally consider her his. This was always the way that it was supposed to be.
“I love you,” he told her happily. A tear formed in the corner of his eye, but it was a joyful one. The most nerve-wracking day of his life had turned into one of the greatest. "So much, Lady Annabelle Hathaway. I love you and I always have done.”
Then, without even thinking anymore, Floyd crashed his lips against hers and he kissed Annabelle lovingly. All the passion, all the emotions, all the loss of the last five years, it all came out in that moment, cementing their brand new union.
This is right, Floyd thought happily to himself. This is the way that it had to turn out, I am just so truly grateful that we both see it.
“I have loved you too,” Annabelle replied thickly as they finally pulled apart. “So much. I just wish we had always been together.” She ran her finger lovingly down his cheek, noticing the way that her chest swelled with a hot love as his did. She did not like hurting James, but what they shared was never this. It would not have been fair to either of them to spend the rest of their lives pretending that it was. "I did not know where to find you, I always thought that you would be too difficult to locate to start looking. I did not know you lived somewhere that means so much to us. If I had thought to go there, then maybe we could have not wasted the last few years.”
“At least now, we are more ready for one another.” Floyd did regret the lost years, of course, he did, but at the same time, he needed that time to grow up and to achieve his lifelong goal. And to also swallow his pride to do what needed to be done. Annabelle needed the time so that she could grow up, too, he hoped that she saw that. “Our lives are much more in order.”
"Yes," Annabelle nodded and giggled through the mixture of emotions. “You are right.” Her face turned serious for just a moment. “I suppose I always thought that you did not love me either, which I now know was not the truth.”
“How could you assume that I would not love you? Just look at you. You are, and always have been, the one for me.”
Those words uplifted Annabelle, it felt like all the tiny missing bits of her life were finally coming together. Now, she was mature enough to accept it wholly too, which was wonderful.
“So, what do you say?” Floyd asked cautiously. He cocked his head curiously to one side while he waited for the woman who he had always loved to answer. The thought of the reunion had kept him moving forward, even when things were tough. At his lowest ebb, Floyd had been able to continue because of Annabelle. “What do you think about me and you making it official finally?”
“What do I say?” she gasped in shock while clutching her free hand to her chest where it had been only moments before, just for a different reason. “Is that your way of asking me to marry you?”
“Of course, it is,” Floyd chuckled. “I want nothing more than to be your husband.”
“The old me, from five years ago, would have said yes right away,” Annabelle mused. “But now I feel like I need more.”
“More?” Floyd panicked, he had not planned for Annabelle to say no. He did not know what he would do with his life if she turned him down. He would have all the success that he ever dreamed of, but not the woman of his dreams. It would feel empty without her. This did not make any sense, she had only just said that she wanted to come and live with him. What could possibly be wrong? “What do you mean?”
“I cannot agree to a wedding without being courted first,” she said in an overly posh tone of voice. “I am a Lady in demand. I have only just broken an engagement; do you not know?”
“Of course, you are.” Floyd’s heart rate calmed down. That he could do with ease. He would be happy to court this wonderful woman. It would be good for them to get to know one another properly again anyway, a lot had changed in the last five years. “If my memory serves me right, you have two broken engagements.”
Annabelle shot him a look, but laughed, finding humor in the situation. “Why yes, so I need a gentleman that deserves me.”
“I believe I do now,” Floyd replied eagerly, forgetting that they were only kidding around. “I want to take you to my stables, I wish you to see what I have achieved….” He trailed off when he saw the knowing look on Annabelle’s face. Without a second thought, Floyd returned to their game of teasing. “In that case, Lady Annabelle Hathaway, will you please let me take you out?”
“I will,” Annabelle replied happily. “That sounds wonderful.”
Floyd leaned in and he kissed Annabelle again finally feeling like everything was right with the world. He had come to find the Lady from his past, hoping that this would happen, but now that it had, he realized how little he had believed that it would. Now he could return to Ashbridge, the place where he felt his real life beginning, and he could have his love with him. They would, eventually, get married and start a family of their own.
He did not need money, he did not need anything, not if he had his love.
Annabelle’s brain churned as she kissed Floyd, a kiss that was filled with promise for them to spend the rest of their lives together. She was glad to be with him, grateful that she had been brave enough to make the right choice and most of all happy that she did not send the letter declaring her intent to marry James to her father. He never would have trusted her again if she kept flitting from decision to decision.
Now though, she had made her choice and she would stick to it. There was no one else in the world that she wanted to be married to than Floyd Brewer… the man that she was always supposed to be with.
“I suppose it is onwards and upwards,” she told Floyd with a smile. “On to the next chapter of our lives… and what an adventure it promises to be!”
The End
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The Governess Who Stole My Heart
Prologue
Susan Wilton sat at her dressing table with her mother, Betsy, hovering behind her left shoulder, hands aflutter, while her very best friend and bridesmaid, Katherine Howe, was fussing with Susan’s hair at her right side. Louisa, Susan’s fifteen-year-old sister, knelt beside her and helped her slide into her satin shoes.
Mother heard the carriages pulling up in front of the house. She turned to the clock on the mantel. “Oh, my… It’s time to go. Katherine, is her hair done?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Katherine said, as she adjusted one last curl with the tip of her comb. “Now, don’t you look like the perfect bride,” she added, stepping back to admire her work.
“Hold still,” Louisa complained, as she tried to fasten the button on the shoe of Susan’s left foot.
Mother rushed to the bedroom door and opening it, called out, “Thomas… Jacob… are you ready?”
“Yes, Mamma,” Jacob shouted up from the entry hall. “We’ve been waiting for twenty minutes. Father has had the carriages brought around already.”
“I know. I know.” Mother called back, but became flustered again and turned to Susan. “Come. Come. Stand. Let me look at you.”
Susan stood up from her dressing table. “Mamma, there’s plenty of time. Simon always runs late, anyway.”
“But it’s his wedding day. Surely, today, of all days, he’ll be on time.” Mother took a long look at Susan and began to cry. “Oh, my baby. Lo
ok at you. All grown up and about to be married. I’ve always dreamed of this day, and now it’s here. Oh my, don’t you look lovely.”
Susan was, indeed, a lovely bride. The eldest daughter of Squire Thomas and his wife, Betsy—Susan was twenty-years-old, with a pleasing oval face, dark curly hair, a delicate mouth, and large, expressive eyes that seemed to laugh when she was amused.
“Enough. Come. The carriages are waiting. Your Papa is waiting.”
They left the room and headed down the stairs to the entry hall where Father and Jacob, Susan’s older brother, and his wife, Amy, were waiting.
“Are you nervous?” the plump and rosy Katherine whispered to Susan as they descended the stairs.
Susan was surprised by the question. “Not at all. Why, should I be?”
Katherine took her arm. “Well, big changes are ahead. A new home and husband. You’ll be leaving your teaching position no doubt, and you must say good-bye to your family. And what about me? I’ll miss you so very much, my dear friend.”
“Oh, Katherine, I’m not going that far away. It’s only twelve miles or so to Haverford House.”
“Is that where you’re to live? I thought that was the Duke’s home now. Surely, Simon will have his own residence now that he’s married, will he not?”
Susan had not given that any thought and Simon had said nothing about where they would reside. London, perhaps?
“Come along—come you two. Stop dawdling,” Mother insisted.
The party was suddenly swept up with the task of getting into the carriages. Mother, father, the bride, and Jacob and his wife were in the first carriage and Katherine, Louisa, and two attendants were in the second.
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