Then I tossed a couple fireballs at the corners, to weld the chunk of ceiling in place over the doors and make it that much more difficult to follow us.
“All done,” I called before moving to follow Jeffry down the hallway, and as I got closer, I heard the clang, clang, clang of hydraulics smashing together.
Jeffry pointed his blunderbuss toward the sound and pulled the trigger. Only this time nothing happened.
“Bloody hell,” he murmured right before a giant robotic fist lashed out of the darkness, catching the vampire under the chin and smashing him up into the ceiling with a wet smack.
17
As the vampire collapsed to the ground, a giant robotic foot stepped out of the smoke and stomped down on his back, pinning him to the steel before turning to look at me, and I realized it was another of the Mavericks. Only this one was wearing some kind of mechanical armor like that dude in Avatar.
“Witty dialogue!” I cried and flung a fireball at him. The sphere of flame slammed into his exo-suit, causing him to stumble backward as the smell of burning ozone hit my nostrils.
I called upon my power, about to form another fireball, when something inside the mech exploded, spraying fluid into the air that caught fire as it doused the mechanical armor in a sheet of flame. A scream tore from the exo-suit as it started to bat at the flames coating its body while a cacophony of lights flashed red. Then the entire machine flopped backward, crashing to the ground as viscous fluid spurted from the twisted wreckage before that caught fire too, reminding me of a giant funeral pyre.
“Thanks,” Jeffry said, getting to his feet and dusting himself off like he hadn’t just been smashed into the floor by an oversized mechanical gorilla. The damned vampire was like a Texas cockroach, and man, I dunno if you’ve ever tried to kill a cockroach in Texas, but those things can withstand a nuclear blast. At least, that’s what I’ve been told.
“Don’t mention it,” I said, following along behind him as we made our way past the extra-crispy mech and turned down the corridor as it branched to the right. The floor was lit up with red light that emanated from the ground, but it was otherwise silent, which struck me as a bit odd.
“Why is there no one here?” I asked, glancing at the vampire who was creeping forward like some kind of stalker. “I mean, we’ve blown up mechs and stuff. Shouldn’t there be more reinforcements?”
As I said the word, the wall in front of us evaporated in a hiss of steam, revealing half a dozen more exo-suit clad Mavericks, and before Jeffry could even chastise me for opening my big, dumb mouth, they opened fire.
Missiles flew through the air, which seemed crazy since we were inside a spaceship, but whatever, it wasn’t my house.
As I focused my magic, slowing down time enough for us to escape, the vampire grabbed me around the waist and hauled me toward the armada being launched at us.
“What the actual fuck!?” I cried as he dragged me past a missile the size of my leg before leaping into the air and stretching out one hand. As soon as his fingers touched the metal surface, he stuck there like he was Spider-Man.
We jerked to a stop as I let go of my spell, causing the missile barrage to slam into the spot we’d been occupying. The explosion shattered my eardrums, but it also caused smoke and debris to fill the room.
“Hang on,” Jeffry said, flinging me on his back so I was wrapped around his neck with my arms. Then he leapt from the ceiling. His vampiric muscles allowed him to launch both of us over the mechs’ heads. We hit the ground on the other side of them, and as they started to turn toward us, Jeffry took off running.
The combination of his vampire speed and a couple quick turns allowed us to lose the Mavericks before they could blast us into space bits. That didn’t stop me from being scared out of my damned gourd, though because all I could do was cling to his back like a toddler getting an energetic piggyback ride from a crazed uncle.
“So, uh, what’s the objective?” I asked, glancing down at the vampire as the ship lurched violently forward, and he lost his balance. We went careening forward, sliding across the steel floor before coming to a stop by slamming into the far wall.
Pain shot through me, and as I tried to blink my blurry vision back to normal, a Maverick wearing a blue sequined robe that reminded me of Ric Flair rose from the ground and smiled at me with a douchebag smile.
“I suppose you think you’ll be able to stop us from acquiring the Gideon Cube, earthlings, but you are too late to stop us from entering the archive. Proceed!” he cried before cupping his hands together and shouting “Woo!” at the top of his lungs.
At the sound of his “woo,” the entire world spun into a mishmash of colors, and sounds, and time seemed to slow down to the point where I couldn’t even hear my heart hammering in my chest because it was too slow. Profound silence slammed into my senses, and as it did, I realized I couldn’t move nor could I call on my power.
It was crazy, and insane, and so scary, I’d have peed myself if I could have. Only that wasn’t in the cards either. The alien in front of me hung there, half-way into his evil laugh, while Jeffry’s body went rigid at a speed that would have made Marty seem fast when he got ready to go out.
I mean, I swear on my broomstick, I’d thought I’d known what eternity was when I’d watched the manticore trying to buckle himself into the car while I stood in the rain getting shouted at because he wanted to do it himself, but in this moment, I knew that I’d known nothing.
Fuck, even Jon Snow knew more than I did because we had slowed down such that the seconds spread out in front of me in such a way that each was an eternity unto itself.
The world around us crackled, and the shield surrounding the spaceship felt like it buckled. The whole of the ship rocked before shattering into a bazillion shards of light, and as it did, I saw myself, Jeffry, Ric Flair, and a dozen other Mavericks get launched in different directions.
The sky spread out like cotton candy Technicolor as a large asteroid loomed in front of us, and sitting upon it was an ornate obelisk of dark black stone covered in glowing runes I couldn’t recognize. Every color of the rainbow crackled across its surface before coalescing into a ball of sequined flame.
The fireball shattered, and as it did, the whole of my world focused on it as bits of ship disintegrated around us under the immense force of the black hole. Clearly, the term Void Crusher had been a touch overstated.
Time snapped back to real time like a rubber band, and we all careened toward the football field sized asteroid like it had its own gravitational pull. Worse, as we fell toward it, I realized we had a problem. The Mavericks were turning their blunderbusses on us.
I raised my hand to call up a magical shield as Ric Flair’s foot shot out, catching me in the stomach. The blow caused the air to burst from my lungs as agony shot through me.
The power I’d called to my aid evaporated into the ether as I sailed backward through the air for an eye blink. Then an unseen force grabbed my body and flung me back toward the Maverick as he plummeted toward the asteroid.
Explosions ripped through the air as the blunderbusses fired at us, but before their discharge turned us into Swiss cheese, the blasts redirected themselves toward the obelisk.
“The gravity is pulling us toward the spire!” Jeffry said, and I was suddenly amazed I could hear him because I hadn’t heard anything before. Not that it mattered because I was suddenly pissed.
“Got it!” I cried, throwing myself into a Karate Kid style crane kick while orienting myself toward Ric Flair.
Gravity caught hold of me, launching me toward the Maverick as my foot lashed out, only instead of connecting, he ducked, sweeping my leg and causing me to tumble ass over tea kettle through the air. The spire loomed in front of me, all glistening with unspent power, and as I saw it, a smile flitted across my lips.
“I’ve got an idea!” I screamed, reaching out toward the structure and grabbing hold of it with my magic. Only instead of doing anything cool like tearing it free of the
ground and using it to swat my enemies like a metaphysical baseballs or stealing some of my energy, the thing reverse tractor-beamed me and sucked me toward it like I was made of honey, and it was made of a greedy Pooh Bear.
I slammed face first into the obelisk, and as I did, the whole of everything exploded into nothingness. White spread out before me as I collapsed to the ground, and as I did, everyone else fell too, slamming into the expanse of white rippling out around us in every direction.
My vision went a touch blurry, and as I tried to get to my feet, my hand went through the damned floor, reaching into the white like it was never ending. It was in that moment that I started to fall, and as I did, everyone else fell through the floor too. The only constant was the black obelisk before me. The structure just grew with every meter I plummeted, so that after a few seconds it was huge enough to give even the most ardent Egyptian a bit of envy.
“Welcome to the archive,” a voice boomed in my head loud enough to make my ears bleed and my temples throb. Then, just like that, we weren’t falling anymore.
Blue light wrapped around us as a chick with tits the size of my head and feathered wings like an angel stepped forth from the obelisk and winked at me in a way that tightened things low in my body. She swung her head back, throwing her red hair over her shoulder in a crimson wave while running her hands down her chainmail bikini before swinging them out in a wide arc.
Blue light wrapped around me and everyone else before pulling us toward her until we were all settled in front of her, and I knew she was powerful. I could feel it thrumming along her skin, feel it pounding in my gut, and feel it in the trembling of air. If my power was a match flame, her power would be the sun.
“I am Chshan’ukshna, Keeper of the Archive. How may I assist you?”
She smiled, revealing a mouthful of porcelain teeth as she set her hands open palmed out before her.
“It is the god-mother,” Ric Flair murmured in his weird voice, and as he spoke, Jeffry glanced sideways at me.
“Um… are you seeing a Lestat from Interview with a Vampire? Because that is what he bloody looks like to me,” Jeffry asked me, quirking an eyebrow at me.
“She looks like an angel to me,” I said, glancing back at Chshan’ukshna. “A red-headed, scantily clad angel with tits I’m having a very hard time not staring at.”
“Yeah, okay, that’s not what she looks like—”
“Silence infidels! You do not disrespect the god-mother!” Ric Flair snarled, his tongue whipping around in his mouth like an epileptic snake as he barred his razor-sharp hooked teeth, causing them to glint in the blue light. “If you say more, I shall rip out your tongues and use it to clean the stables of—”
“Be silent all of you,” the angel said, her gaze flitting across all of us, and as it passed over me, I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. “I appear to you as you wish me to appear. I am everything and nothing.” She gestured toward the obelisk behind her. “I am the knower of all things and thus am the keeper of all that is knowable, and again I ask, how may I assist you?” She narrowed her eyes, and literal flame danced along her long lashes. “Do not make me ask again.”
18
“We seek the Gideon Cube!” Ric Flair cried, pushing himself in front of us and dropping down into a low bow that pressed his nose to the proverbial floor. The rest of the Mavericks followed suit, prostrating themselves before the angelic keeper of all knowable things.
“The Gideon Cube is not something your race has the capacity to possess,” the angel snorted, her nostrils flaring as she strode forward, her massive breasts bouncing with every step in a way that made it very hard for me not to stare. I mean, come on, I’m a breast girl. What can I say? “I can see into your hearts, and thus I know the evil that lurks within. If I were to give you the Gideon Cube, you would use its massive power to unmake the world as it stands.”
Panic raced through me as the meaning of her words hit me full on. Not because I doubted her. Oh no, I could tell just by the feeling of the magical currents in the air, she had the power to do as she said. No, I was scared because something told me she wanted to give that power to these lizard-faced fucks, and if that happened, there’d be absolutely nothing I could do to stop her.
I mean, okay, I’d try because even though I’d come here for the money, I really didn’t want the universe to get unmade, but I also knew my efforts wouldn’t matter. I’d have better luck trying to bail out the ocean with a thimble.
She knelt down and touched Ric Flair’s chin with one slender finger, drawing his face up until they were staring eye to eye. “Knowing that I know this, what would you offer in exchange for such power, Maverick?”
“Anything,” the alien squealed, and as the last syllable left his mouth, the angel regarded him closely.
“Anything?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “What if I said it would require the death of you and yours?” She gestured to the assembled Mavericks. “Would you all give your lives to possess such power?”
“We would,” another Maverick said, and as he spoke, the rest prostrated themselves further. Jesus Christ, these guys were crazy. Totally fucking batshit loco. Were they really all willing to give up their lives to get this power from her? It seemed insane when they could just go home and live in peace.
“We will give anything, even our lives,” Ric Flair said, and as he spoke, the angel laughed. The sound was like nails on a chalkboard, and as it tore furrows across my brain and made me shrink back, the angel sat down, splaying her legs in front of herself.
“What about the lives of your families? Would you give up your larva too?” she asked, but before she’d finished speaking, Ric Flair looked up at her, fixing her eyes with his own. “Would you give up countless generations that have not yet been conceived? Would you pay for the Gideon Cubes with all those lives?”
“We would give anything to possess the Gideon Cube. With its power, Lord Zug will be able to remake the galaxy in your image, god-mother. We will be heroes. Remembered in the battle-hymns of our people for all time. Our lives are nothing when compared to that. So if it takes our lives, and those of our families, then all is worth it so that Lord Zug may stand upon our deaths and triumph over all that would oppose your teachings.”
I cocked my head toward him. What did he mean by that? Because it sure sounded like the Mavericks were in some kind of holy war to spread their religion across the galaxy by force, and if that was true, then I suddenly understood they would never stop. No. They were fanatics, meaning they’d pay anything as long as it furthered their goals. What’s more, things like logic wouldn’t matter because true or not, they’d believe they’d have some kind of reward for their cause that transcended our paltry reality.
“Very well.” As the last syllable left her lips, the Maverick before her exploded into a cloud of green goo that splattered across the white expanse of space, and as his bits and pieces rained down around us, the angel looked upon the rest of the lizard people. “Would the rest of you follow your leader into death for such a power?”
Another Maverick nodded, and as he did, he exploded into gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts that splashed across his companions.
“Again, I ask if this is what you would like?” Again there were more nods and more explosions of gore.
My stomach twisted as I stared in horror as one by one the Mavericks exploded before the awesome might of the angel. By the time she was done, my lunch was struggling to stay in my stomach, and I was seriously never eating meat again. Well, I was going to consider never eating meat again.
“You, the last of your entourage, do you also wish to take the Gideon Cube?” the angel asked, getting slowly to her feet and moving toward the lizard creature. “You have seen the fate of all those who would have it. Yours will be no different.” She ran her finger across her cheek as she strode forward, scooping up a bit of slime that had splattered across her and flinging it disdainfully at the Maverick. “Answer me.”
“I would,” t
he Maverick said, taking a step forward and raising his chin to meet death with more courage than I ever would have.
“Then so it shall be.” She reached out toward him and sitting upon her hand was a glowing green cube about the size of a Rubik’s Cube. Emerald lightning rippled across its surface like a tiny storm cloud, and within it, I could see a never ending void, but more than that, I could feel power deep in my gut. It was like that time I’d zapped myself into a power plant and stood next to the thrumming substations. It had made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and this was way more powerful than that.
“Thank you, God-mother,” the Maverick said, reaching out to take the cube, and as his fingers touched it, he began to sizzle. The smell of burnt flesh filled my nose, and this time, I did lose my lunch. Vomit splattered across the white expanse, my shoes, and the bits and pieces of aliens as smoke curled from the Maverick’s outstretched hand and flames licked up his arm and across his chest, causing his flesh to bubble and melt.
Still, he did not let go. He just reached deep down inside himself and took it, and as he did, the Angel relinquished the cube.
“Be gone, Maverick.” She snapped her fingers and his smoking, flaming alien vanished.
“What the actual fuck,” I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, leaving a glistening trail across my sleeve. I was too stunned to even know what to think. These aliens were cray cray, and what’s more, they’d been given the power of the universe. It seemed insane because it was insane, and worse, I had no idea how to stop them from moving forward and crushing my stupid planet beneath their heel. “Did you see that?”
“Yes,” Jeffry said, his voice low and despondent. “That means we’re bloody fucked. The Mavericks are an evolved hive mind. Individuals mean nothing to them. She just asked a room full of ants to sacrifice themselves for the queen, and of fucking course they did, they’re ants.”
Maverick: A Supernatural Space Opera Novel (Witching on a Starship Book 1) Page 10