“Four years.” She topped up their drinks, confessing in the quiet of the dim, empty bar. “I loved him. Too much. He was in a lot of trouble. He was dealing drugs. The police came after them, and Arch, his dad, his brother, they all just disappeared. He never said goodbye, or called, or left a note. One day he was here and the next he wasn’t. And I tried to move on, but deep down in my heart, I think I was waiting. Hoping that he’d come back.”
She slid his glass across the bar and Tyler took it, gently swirling the liquid. Surprised that the answer to his next question mattered so much. “Are you still waiting?”
“No,” she said sharply as she sat next to him. “He showed up in town last year. Totally out of the blue. He’d been in prison all that time.”
Anger reared up on her behalf. “Last I heard they have phones in jail. The bastard could have let you know.”
She glanced at him, brows arched. “You still hate him. You were so angry at me when I started dating him.”
“Well, I wanted you for myself. My heart was a little messed up. Then you changed. How you looked, how you talked, how you dressed. I hated him for changing you like that.”
“I hated that we fought,” she said. “That it ended our friendship.”
The plaintive note in her voice had him swallowing his tension. “I hated that I was such a jerk. I should have tried to understand, or at least be polite. It’s probably fifteen years too late, but I am sorry, Kit.”
“Thanks,” she said softly, looking at him over the rim of her glass. “Me, too.”
He was back where he’d been fifteen years ago. Wanting to kick Arch’s ass, wanting her to want him with the same fierce longing she’d had for Arch.
“So what happened?” he asked, pushing those feelings into the past where they belonged. “When you saw him again.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to know.”
“That bad, huh?” He loved that there was laughter in her eyes even as her cheeks went red.
“Let’s see. First, I yelled at him in front of the Downtown Market. I slapped him, too.”
He tried not to laugh at that image. “I can see how that might not be such a great memory. But honestly, he deserved it.”
“Well, it gets better. Or worse, really. Because then for some reason, I invited him to my Halloween party. And made a pass at him. Which he rejected.” She buried her face in her hands for a moment. Then she looked up and he saw tears in her eyes, from embarrassment, or maybe sorrow. So many emotions were on her face he had no idea which was which. “And for my grand finale? I threw a bunch of food at him in the diner when I realized he was in love with someone else.”
“Holy hell, Kit Hayes, I wish I’d have been there. I’d have joined in and chucked a few burgers of my own.”
“You would?” She looked like she really was about to cry now. “Because it was so awful. His girlfriend, who also got hit with a bunch of the food, is one of the sweetest girls this town has ever seen. Everyone loves her. So afterward, it felt like everyone hated me. Or just thought I was this crazy, out-of-control person.”
He couldn’t help laugh a little. “Well, you always have had a streak of the crazy in you. Remember when you dared me to jump out of my dad’s hayloft? You went first and did just fine. I followed and busted my wrist in two places.”
She bit her lip, then started laughing. “I’d forgotten that.”
“Yeah, and remember when we went skiing and you wanted to go through the trees because you’d seen it on TV or something? You went through just fine and I landed upside down in a snowbank, wrapped around a ponderosa.”
She laughed outright now, which was what he wanted for her.
“Screw Arch Hoffman,” he added. “He deserved a hell of a lot worse than food thrown at him.”
“You’re making me feel better about the whole thing. But I shouldn’t have acted the way I did.”
“Arch always did have a strong hold on you.” A lock of hair had stuck to her cheek. He swept it off her face. “But you deserve so much better than him. You always did.”
Her eyes met his, and he swore he could study her brown depths all night. Arch must have lost his mind in prison to walk away from her when he got out. But Tyler was grateful he had.
Kit took another swallow of her vodka. “You know what bothers me so much lately? That I’ve spent over a third of my life on Arch. Being with him, missing him, trying to get over him.”
It bugged him, too. The guy didn’t deserve a minute of her time, let alone so many years. “I guess that’s what happens when you love someone so much.” It was ironic how she’d never forgotten Arch, and Tyler had never forgotten her.
“Yes, but now I’ve been wondering if what I felt for him was really love. I mean, you know how my life was, growing up. My dad worked all the time and my mom was sort of out of it—heading off to yoga retreats or healing workshops. When I wasn’t with you, I was a lonely kid. And when we got older, and you were spending so much of your time practicing on the bulls, I was lonely a lot.”
She must have seen guilt on his face because she immediately protested. “No, it’s not your fault. You were doing what you loved. But Arch came along, and he had this intense personality. An energy that drew people in. When he turned that energy on me, I felt like I was finally seen. Like I was in this big spotlight and everything looked different under there—and I was different, too.”
It hurt Tyler’s heart to think how badly she must have needed to feel that way. He’d been her friend. He’d thought he was in love with her. But bull riding had been his first priority. He’d never put her first. No one ever had, he supposed.
“When someone is so hard on everyone, so tough and unreachable, and then they want you...” She seemed to search for the words. “I felt chosen, you know? Like he pushed the whole world away except me. He chose me.”
And Tyler had chosen rodeo. “I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve showed you how you mattered to me. And your dad...well...maybe I’m responsible for that, too. All those hours he spent with me after work training me to ride bulls. He should have been spending time with you. Maybe if we’d both stepped up, you wouldn’t have needed Arch.”
She shrugged and took a gulp of her drink, obviously uncomfortable with his regret. “But it’s like you said the other day. My dad loves rodeo. And the only kid he ended up with is me. Definitely not rodeo material.”
“But definitely special,” Tyler said. “I wish I’d let you know how I really felt.”
“Hey.” She took his hand, and he instinctively wrapped his fingers around hers, so small and soft and warm. “We were kids. And you can’t blame yourself for my choices.”
She slid her hand out of his and Tyler drained his bourbon, suddenly needing the fire of it inside him. Guilt and regret were cold things.
“It’s late,” she said softly. “And if we drink any more we won’t be able to get ourselves home.”
He nodded and slid off the bar stool, full of so many things he wanted to tell her, about how amazing she was. About how he’d never forgotten her, or loved another, all those years on the road. Instead, he cleared his throat. “I hope you know how much you mean to me. How much you have to give. I wasn’t kidding when I said I couldn’t get this bar going without you.”
Her smile tilted down at the corners, so he wasn’t quite sure if it was a happy thing. “Thanks for saying it. And thanks for the talk. Good night, Tyler.”
“Good night.” He watched her walk away, so small and strong stepping out alone into the dark night. And he wanted, more than anything, to go with her.
CHAPTER EIGHT
KIT SQUINTED AT the building plans in front of her, trying to make sense of the tangled blue lines. She looked at Tyler, smiling proudly next to her, excited that his blueprints for the bar were ready.
She pointed at a giant rectangle that took up most of the page. “So that’s the outline? It’s going to be huge.” It was at least five times as big as the original.
“Well, yeah.” Tyler nodded. “Because there has to be room for the restaurant and the dance floor and stage. And I want a big sports bar and space for more pool tables. What do you think?”
“It’s...um...” She scrambled for a better way to say a giant, charmless box. If Tyler followed these plans, his bar would look like a supermarket.
“I know change is hard. But I really think this is going to be great.”
She gave up trying to find polite words. They weren’t showing up and this was an emergency. “I’m not opposed to change, necessarily. But I am when it is going to look like you plopped a giant box down on the edge of town.”
He fixed her with a long look, as if trying to figure out whether she was being difficult. He finally gave a curt nod. “Okay, tell me what you’d do.”
“Really?” She studied his expression, but he didn’t look angry. “You seriously want to know?”
“Sure. You don’t like this? Come up with something better.”
She tried to gather her thoughts. They were really different from his, but hopefully he wouldn’t take it personally. “I don’t think you should build one giant rectangle. What about building the whole thing in a horseshoe shape? That way this area—” she gestured around their picnic table “—can be the barbecue and outdoor eating area and it will be inside the horseshoe. The building will protect it from the winds, which can get strong out here.”
Tyler glanced around, then back at her. “It sounds like a good idea.”
Kit found the outline of the existing bar on the plans. “Look. You could extend the existing building and add your sports bar there. It could be connected to the current bar by some nice glass doors so people can go back and forth.”
“Okay, that makes sense.” Tyler nodded. “But what about my restaurant?”
“Attach it as a wing off the original bar,” Kit said, starting to feel excited. She might be making this up on the fly, but it was actually a good idea. “It could be one side of the horseshoe shape. That way people can have a drink in the bar while they wait for their reservation.”
She glanced at him, noticing the way he bit his lip when he was concentrating. He was cute when he was serious. But she couldn’t be distracted by that right now. “And off the sports bar end, you’d build the other side of the horseshoe. You can put all of your noisier activities there. Your dance floor. Your mechanical bull, if you’re really going to get that tacky.”
“You know I am,” he said. He traced the shape she had described on the plans. “This could work.” He looked up and raised his hand in a solemn high five. She met his palm with hers, hope warming her heart. “I should give you a bigger bonus,” he said. “Because you’re a freaking genius.”
“And the good part of this design is that we can keep the original bar pretty much the way it is, right?”
He grinned. “You mean keep the sticky floor and ripped vinyl on all the chairs?”
“No.” She had to smile at his description. The Dusty Saddle was pretty shabby. “I mean fix it all up but keep a similar ambiance to what we have now. So the people who love our bar don’t feel like they’ve lost their home.”
Tyler rolled up the papers. “You pretend to be tough, but underneath your black leather jackets and tattoos, you’re a softy. I know that now.”
“Maybe so.” She was smiling so much her cheeks ached. Tension she didn’t even know she’d been carrying seeped away, leaving a loose feeling behind. “They matter, you know? Our regulars? I’ve been here so long, they feel like family.”
“I get it,” he said. “Sometimes family is who you find along the way.”
There was a sadness there. He’d lost his mom to cancer when he was still just a boy. She remembered it. How angry he’d been. How quiet. How he hadn’t wanted to play with her for a long time. She hadn’t known what to say, so they’d never talked much about it.
“I’ll get these plans redrawn,” Tyler said. “I like your idea a lot.”
“I’m glad. Have you figured out what you’ll name your new enormous bar?”
He shook his head. “I hate to admit it, but the Last Rodeo does have a good ring to it, though I know you were just giving me a hard time about that. But I’ve had other ideas since then. The other night, after pouring Guinness, I was thinking the Perfect Pint. But it probably sounds too Irish. And after this conversation, I’m also considering the Kit Hayes Refuge for Elderly Mountain Men.”
“Stop! You’re the worst.”
His laugh rang across the afternoon quiet. “I may enjoy giving you a hard time, but you’re a great person, Kit Hayes. And an excellent bar planner.”
She didn’t know what to say. She was still reeling at how he’d listened to her. He was changing his entire plan for the bar based on her advice. He trusted her ideas enough to follow them, even when they conflicted with his.
She couldn’t remember anyone listening to her like this. Ever.
Luckily he didn’t say anything else about the plans. If he did, she might get choked up and embarrass them both. Instead, he eyed the book on the picnic table. “All done with Single and Satisfied?” he asked.
She flushed. “It was a quick read.”
“Finding Healthy Love.” When he looked up, the teasing grin she’d expected was absent. Instead, his expression was serious. “Are you really looking for love?”
Something beat between them. A pulse full of the meaning that hid behind his question. “I might be doing a little window-shopping from behind the bar. That’s about all I have time for.”
He laughed and the moment, if there’d been one, was gone. “Good answer.” His usual cocky attitude was back. “I find myself doing a little window-shopping on occasion.” He grabbed the plans and gave a vague salute with them. “See you around.”
“See you.” She picked up her book, then set it down. Because watching Tyler Ellis walk away in his low-slung Wranglers and cowboy attitude was far more entertaining than Finding Healthy Love.
* * *
EVER SINCE TYLER had taken her advice on renovating his bar, Kit had felt lighter. Like she was making a difference at work. She laughed more, and strangely, she hadn’t felt the need to read a self-help book in days.
Maybe it was her newfound sense of hope, or maybe it was the fun she was having with her new look, thanks to Lila’s make-under. Whatever the reason, she was enjoying this Saturday night behind the bar even more than usual.
Lila poured shots next to her, so Kit gave her friend a playful bump with her hip in time with the music. “How’s it going?”
“Busy.” Lila set the bottle down and started piling lime wedges on a tray. She added a shaker of salt. “The guys at the end of the bar are going to have wicked hangovers. This is their third round.”
“Ouch,” Kit sympathized with them in advance. “I hope it’s worth it. Where’s Ethan tonight?”
“He’s doing some kind of night hike with the guys in his veterans group. They’re going to howl at the moon or something.”
Kit laughed. “He’s a good guy. He makes a difference for those men.”
“Speaking of men, our boss is looking pretty good.”
Kit looked to where Tyler was shaking up cocktails for a group of girls. They’d refused to order from her and Lila, saying they wanted their drinks served by a cowboy
. With his tight black T-shirt and his worn jeans, Tyler certainly looked the part. He must have felt Kit staring because he glanced over, shot her a wink, then poured his concoction into the waiting martini glasses with a flourish. “I had my doubts, but he’s turning into a good bartender.”
“We all have you to thank. You took him under your wing.”
Kit felt guilty. She’d never mentioned to Lila that she wasn’t mentoring Tyler out of the goodness of her heart. “He’s paying me extra to do it. A lot extra.”
“Good. He should be.” Lila picked up her tray of tequila shots, shouting, “Okay, gentlemen. Number-one rule. No one gets sick in the bar.”
And that was that. No jealousy. No worry that Kit was making more money than she was. That was Lila. Secure in who she was. Happy in what life had brought her. Even before Ethan, she’d been that openhearted.
Kit took an order for six beers and told the customer she’d deliver them to his table. She filled the pints, set them on a round tray and ventured into the crowd. When she spotted her customer she wove carefully through the throng. She set down the pints, accepted the offered tip and turned to go back to the bar. And bumped right into someone’s tall, broad chest. The man wore a black T-shirt beneath a black leather jacket, and his strong hands caught her on the shoulders, steadying her. She looked up and gasped at the sight of dark curly hair and a wide, feral smile. Arch. Only it wasn’t Arch. Of course it wasn’t. But this guy resembled him. Kit covered her confusion with an abrupt “Sorry about that.”
The stranger held her shoulders a second longer than he needed to. “I’d tell you to watch where you were going, but I enjoyed our collision.”
Her heart banged against her ribs, adrenaline still bubbling from the Arch/not-Arch moment. “Glad to make your night. Now, please excuse me, I should get back.”
“Of course.” He stepped aside so she could pass. She ducked behind the bar. When she turned, the man was right there, leaning forward with a twenty-dollar bill crooked between his fingers. He watched her intently and when their eyes met for a moment, heat sped up Kit’s spine. He was ridiculously handsome and obviously interested.
His Last Rodeo Page 11