Now Diana was angry, and she stood up. “Adam, you are making a fool of yourself. How could you possibly think that I would do anything you could reproach me for ?”
“Well, not you. But there are any number of men who might try and take advantage of you…” he defended himself .
“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Adam. Now, if you do not mind, I think I shall go to my room and begin packing my trunk for my trip home .”
He got up and reached out for her. “I am so sorry. I did not mean to insult you. I am only worried about you. I care so much.” He grabbed hold of her and buried his head against her shoulder and began to cry .
Diana was astonished. “Adam? What is this?” She lifted his head with her forefinger and looked into his eyes .
He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “It is nothing. Nothing. Forget I said anything at all .”
She took him by his shoulders. It was beginning to dawn on her what a little boy he was. He was still more boy than man. His behavior was beginning to disappoint her and she faltered for the first time—was she really going to marry this boy? She felt a new urgency to go home. She needed time to reflect on her whole life situation—not only about her marriage but about this arrangement with Robert. The strain of this book promotion was beginning to weigh on her, and she was seriously considering if she wanted to go forward with this arrangement if Robert were to write a second book .
She reached over and put her hand on Adam’s cheek. “My dear, take a moment to calm yourself and let us go for a walk in the park, shall we ?”
He shook his head. “No, I must go out. I am taking Mother shopping and then I have an appointment to have my hair cut. I will see you later this afternoon for tea—if you are not already engaged, that is .”
Diana said gently, “I shall make certain I am here for tea .”
Adam immediately seemed to bounce back and said, “Oh, that is excellent news. I shall stop by Martin’s bakery and fetch us some of their lovely apricot tarts for tea. Mummy will be so pleased you will be with us.” Then he bounded out of the room .
Diana watched him leave and shook her head. She had to admit he was a sweet man-boy, but she did wish he might be a little more mature. But perhaps that would come with time. Her mother had always said that marriage was work. It required compromise, compassion, and a tremendous amount of patience. And she was beginning to learn that her mother had a great deal of wisdom when it came to marriage. After all, she was still very patient with her father whose health and mental facilities were declining rapidly .
* * *
D iana’s trip back to Cambridge was uneventful. She had nothing to reproach herself for and had to smile at Adam’s over protectiveness. But what a relief it was to be home. After unpacking, she sat at her desk and practically purred, she felt so happy to be sitting where she would write again very soon. However, her mind was still in a whirlwind after all the events and excitement of the London book launch. She felt she needed to integrate the many varied experiences and settle into herself before she would be clear and calm enough to start writing again .
After spending some time with her parents over breakfast, telling them about all of her adventures in London, she decided it was time to visit with the twins. And as it was a Saturday she had hopes of finding them both at home at the same time .
As she approached the Sinclair house she spied Geoffrey raking the newly fallen leaves in the front garden .
“You see the slave I have become?” he groused, as he raked the leaves into a pile. “I spend my weekdays slaving away at the primary school, and then, when I struggle home weary and worn, I am forced, like the slave you see, to rake the leaves on the weekend. See how I suffer, Diana ?”
She laughed. “Oh, Geoffrey, I would sympathize with you if I could, but I am sorry, I just cannot. You are such a big baby. Everyone works and everyone has chores. It is part of life. Get used to it .”
He pouted as he leaned against his rake. “Not you too…” he wailed .
“Come. Offer me some tea and I shall tell you all about my adventures in London .”
“Now, that is more like it. Tea. Yea .”
Diana took his arm as he led her inside the house .
“Is Miriam at home, I do not want to recite all of this twice .”
“She is. I believe she is being extremely lazy in the bathtub, luxuriating in hot water and a snowstorm of bath bubbles. I shall inform her you are here .”
He disappeared and Diana stretched out her arms across the back of the sofa while she waited for her hosts .
Shortly Miriam appeared in a terrycloth robe, with her hair wrapped in a towel .
“Oh, Diana, how lovely. Geoffrey has gone to the kitchen to put the kettle on. Are you going to tell us all about your escapades in London? Was the book a success ?”
“All will be revealed in good time. But first tea .”
Geoffrey brought out the tea and while Miriam dried her hair with the towel, Diana told them all about London and the book launch. The twins were pleased to hear her tales and asked ridiculous questions but when Diana was finished, Miriam asked how the wedding plans were progressing. There was a flicker of something in Diana’s eyes and she pressed further. “What? You are not telling us something .”
Diana hesitated but finally said, “It is nothing.” She brushed cake crumbs off her skirt .
The twins leaned forward and asked in unison. “It is not. There is something up. Tell us all .”
Diana sat back on the sofa and considered how much to say. But knowing the twins, the less she said the better .
“Well…” Diana started hesitantly, “Adam…” She was finding it very difficult to move forward .
“Adam what?” Geoffrey pushed. “He smells? He has six toes? He has no teeth ?”
“He walks in his sleep? He murdered his mother? What?” Miriam continued .
“I am not sure he is really ready for marriage the way I am,” Diana finally said .
The twins were silenced. They looked at each other. “Are you cancelling the wedding?” Miriam asked, thunderstruck .
“No. Not at all. It is just… I do not know how to describe it. I think for the past few years he has been so wrapped up in his studies and his dissertation that he has had little time to grow up as a man. He seems to be so ill-prepared for the responsibilities and the difficult decisions that marriage demands. I do not know what to do ?”
“Might you postpone for a while ?”
“It has crossed my mind. But there have been so many preparations already made. And Adam has been obsessive about organizing the honeymoon. I get these glimpses of us later on. Married, settled, living a rather predictable and controlled life. I am not sure that is what I want. And I do not know if he is flexible enough to be spontaneous and adventurous in the way I would like to be. Does that make any sense ?”
“Well… ye-e-e-s,” Geoffrey insisted. “Run, run, run .”
Diana shook her head. “But I still care for him .”
“But listen to what you just said. ‘You care for him.’ You did not say you loved him,” Miriam pointed out .
Diana nodded her head several times but could not answer that. She sat thinking for several moments and then stood up. “I had better be going. Now that I am home again, I need to step up and help around the house. I know Mother has missed me doing my regular chores while I was gone .”
The twins went over to Diana and they gave her a hug .
After they released, they each took one of Diana’s arms and led her to the front door .
“Let us know if you need anything from us,” Miriam insisted as Diana started down the front walk to the street .
Diana waved. “I will. Thank you for the tea .”
As she walked home, Diana knew she had been evading some of her thoughts and feelings around the marriage, but she also knew that no arrangement was perfect. And she had to remind herself, once again, that it was Adam arranging the
loan that had saved the family home. And even though she had doubts about Adam’s maturity, she also knew that he would grow and mature with time, and eventually, he would make a wonderful husband. She was certain of that .
As she walked in the front door, her mother called out to her from the kitchen. “You missed tea .”
Diana went to the door. “I hope you did not wait for me. I had tea at the twins .”
“Oh, good. I have had mine but I would make you some if you wanted .”
“I am fine. Thank you .”
Mother reached into her smock pocket and pulled out an envelope. “The Earl dropped this by while you were gone. I was not sure where you were, but he asked me to give this to you as soon as you returned .”
“Thank you, Mother .”
Diana opened the letter .
M iss Diana,
As I was uncertain if you would be home or not, I prepared this note in case you were gone .
I need your advice and council on a most important and private matter. You are the only person to whom I can trust with this matter as it concerns our agreement on the book .
I shall be at my river cottage and I would be ever so grateful if you could come visit me as soon as you receive this note .
I shall stay here until you arrive .
Your Devoted Servant ,
Robert
T his was certainly a mysterious message. After reading, she said to her mother, “I must go visit the Earl at his river cottage. I shan’t be too long. I hope to be home in time to help with supper.” She turned to leave but stopped. “How is Father? He seemed tired at luncheon .”
“He tires easily these days. I believe he is taking his nap .”
“Then I shall be back later .”
It was a late September afternoon. The late morning and early afternoon had been warm but it was rapidly cooling down, so Diana wrapped a wool shawl around her shoulders and headed down the street to the end where there was a rank of hansom cabs. It was too far to Robert’s cottage to walk .
She hired a cab and, as she headed toward the riverside cottage, she began to think about Robert. After her conversation with the twins, she could not help but compare Adam to Robert. She tried to think about Adam, but all she could picture was Robert. The very thought of him sent a chill down her spine as she began to remember how his firm hands felt the few times he had touched her and how she had reacted. This was not an appropriate thought, and she pulled her shawl more tightly around her shoulders and shook off all thoughts of Robert except for the visit with him this afternoon .
The cab arrived at the cottage. She paid the cab fare and went to the cottage door and knocked .
Robert opened the door promptly. “Oh, I am so pleased you could make it, Diana. Please come in .”
He put his hand on her shoulder as he led her down the hallway toward the sitting-room, and she needed to calm her rush of feelings by moving away from him once they were in the room .
“Can I make you some tea ?”
“Thank you, no. I have just come from tea with the twins. It was our first visit since I got back from London .”
“And they are fine ?”
“Of course. Are they ever not?” She laughed .
“Please sit by the fire and let me get right to what I need to discuss with you. I do not want to keep you any longer than necessary as it is getting late .”
Diana made herself comfortable in the armchair and enjoyed the warmth of the fire .
Robert did not sit but began to pace as he spoke. He explained the whole situation with the Viscount—the blackmail—Amelia’s betrayal—and the fact that if his secret were to be revealed, it could ruin his reputation and all that he had worked for .
“As you can see, you are the only one I can speak to about these matters, as we are co-conspirators—so to speak .”
“Robert, that is troubling news. And I cannot believe Amelia would betray you like that. You must be devastated .”
“She has certainly hurt me, but I understand her motive. She wishes to marry, and, even though she plans to marry the Viscount, I am happy for her,” Robert said as he paused by the fireplace. “I love her dearly, and I know she has been deeply unhappy for some time .”
Diana thought for a moment, and then said, “Forgive me, Robert, but I am somewhat confused .”
“About?”
“I am not certain I understand your reluctance to sell the land for the canal. It seems to be a very worthy project that would benefit many in the county .”
Robert seemed to be surprised by her answer. “But it will divide my land and create chaos to my cattle and farming operations .”
“Is that really so? Or is it a form of feudal pride? Perhaps you, as the Earl of Donnelly, feel violated by the suggestion that you compromise your sacred lands ?”
Robert seemed genuinely surprised by her response. “Diana… you shock me .”
“I am sorry, but from everything you told me I would jump at the opportunity the Viscount has presented. It would be an enormous boon to the county—providing access to international trade, increased sales for manufacturers, new markets for farmers and cattle growers, like you, and ease the importing of needed goods and supplies.” Robert turned from the fireplace and began pacing, once again. “And you said the Viscount, and the delegation that came to see you offered very generous royalties on all shipping across your land. Plus they agreed to build several bridges across the canal that would connect your lands. How can you possibly refuse that offer? Not to mention, that if you agreed to the Viscount’s proposal, he would not reveal that you are the author of the book. Win, win, win, it seems to me .”
Robert started laughing and he turned to face her and looked shocked .
“Diana, you truly believe that ?”
“I do. Think about it for a moment. It benefits everyone .”
Robert began pacing again .
“And you believe I have been blinded by my own prejudice ?”
Diana nodded .
Robert stopped pacing and turned back to her .
“My dearest Diana, you are so perceptive. What a stubborn fool I have been. I can see now that my resistance was based more on my dislike of the Viscount than any genuine concern I might have about my property .”
“Then you have solved your problem, have you not ?”
“And all thanks to you .”
“Then you will accept the offer ?”
“I shall .”
“Stand. Come,” Robert instructed as he advanced toward Diana. “I am going to give you a kiss of appreciation. And your fiancé will just have to forgive me this liberty, as I am so very grateful to you for your wise assistance .”
Diana stood, and Robert took her into his arms and gave her the sweetest kiss she had ever had. She began to tremble as the kiss lasted longer than she expected. This was not a quick brush of lips but a full, passionate kiss that stopped her breath and forced her to back away .
“Robert…” She looked at him as she never had before. And he stood his ground and returned her stare—his eyes alight with passion and desire .
“Diana… my Diana …
She pulled herself together and said rapidly, “I must go. I am so happy you have solved your problem. And I wish you all the very best in your new venture. And please, give your sister my very best congratulations on her engagement .”
“I will take you home. However, I came on horseback so we must ride together .”
“Very well.” Diana was feeling shaken by the kiss and wanted to leave as soon as possible. “But the light is fading and I should like to get home before dark .”
“I understand. We can leave right now. I left the horse saddled. I will retrieve him and be right back .”
Diana followed Robert to the front door and waited inside for him to return with the horse. As she waited, she found she was still agitated by the kiss. She realized she was playing with fire each time she was alone with him and she promised her
self that must stop .
“Are you ready to leave?” he asked, coming to fetch her .
“Yes, thank you .”
They went outside and Robert mounted the horse and then helped her up, to sit sideways behind him .
They started out after Diana had grabbed hold of Robert’s waist. As they rode forward there was a cool breeze and she leaned her head against Robert’s back. It was so very comforting and she relaxed into the ride .
But shortly they arrived back at her house, and she slipped off the horse and reached up and took Robert’s hand .
“Thank you for bringing me home .”
“And thank you for your wise council.” He squeezed her hand before letting go. “All the very best with your writing now that you are back home. I wish I could write, but it looks like I shall be busy for some time dealing with the canal. And again, thank you .”
“Good-bye, for now, Robert.” And she watched him ride away .
Chapter 27
R obert rode directly toward Balfour , not returning to the river cottage. What had just happened? He was filled with conflicting thoughts and emotions. Diana had so simply and clearly made him see where he was in error in his thinking about the canal. And now, he felt a great relief. He could see the obvious benefit in the canal, and he also felt relieved that his secret would now be safe and he could continue to write—when his writer’s block was broken. However, it might take some time before that happened .
And then there was Diana. Once again, he was in turmoil over his feelings for her. But he still had to face the fact that she was unavailable. But was she? He could not help but notice and feel that she responded to him in ways that were beyond mere friendship. And however much he would love to linger in thoughts of her, he had reached home and needed to deal with other more pressing issues .
Robert strode into Amelia’s rooms before dinner .
“Robert, you missed tea,” Amelia said coolly, as she fingered her black moonstone bracelet .
“I have been pondering the Viscount’s blackmail .”
“Oh, Robert… really… such a crude characterization of his more than generous offer .”
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