Traditionally, the Emperor secretly names his or her replacement in secret, for a select group of high ranking individuals to see upon his or her death. Only occasionally does a ruler make their chosen replacement known beforehand, primarily because the chance of assassination massively increases. It was considered quite an astonishing turn of events then that the Emperor would indeed die within a month of his proclamation. Naturally, there was galaxy-wide suspicion, but as Ellie had already been named publicly as the replacement, not even the most perfunctory investigation could be done. The only loud protests were by the previous Emperor’s head assistant, a Marlon Yellowstone. Something that may become important later.
Our protagonist chose Esmerelda as her title, supposedly due to a children’s tale she loved, although this was never confirmed. Her honorific was Your Utmost Grace, to present a polite and ladylike manner. She dressed to impress with a stunning variety of glittering gowns and jewel-encrusted headdresses. In keeping with her luxurious style and immense power, Empress Esmerelda announced that she would create a fleet to return to Earth in the name of the Imperium. By this point, the entirety of all known humanity was paying attention to events, as no Emperor had ever made such a move. Unfortunately for historians, Esmerelda took her massive fleet barely a few sectors before changing her mind. Instead, to the utter horror of the entire Imperial military, she decided to take a long trip…deep into Confederation space.
If the point isn’t understood, this was a colossal fleet, over two hundred ships, armed with the finest weapons available at the time, plunging deep towards Chiklid held space. The Chiklid were a relatively new addition to the Confederation at the time, and no-one in the Imperium had ever seen a Chiklid in person. Naturally, Esmerelda’s intrepid spirit overpowered any sense of risk. Whilst the entire galaxy was gearing up for war, she was choosing dresses to present herself to the nearest Chiklid ship. Her Flagship, the impressive Haunting Beauty, forcibly scooped up a small Chiklid passenger ship. The terrified Chiklid crew, firmly ensconced in the view of alien hatred from the Imperium, were given a tour of the ship and several recordings were made of the Empress singing for their pleasure. That was not a typo. She genuinely performed for her petrified guests, with gusto and flair, hours’ worth of song and dance selected from across human history. She then granted each of the bemused Chiklids a huge amount of currency before leaving the system.
Incredibly, she would spend the next few months touring various important Confederation systems, all the while being chased by an ever-growing Confederate armada. Her advisors by this point were stunned into silence, except for Marlon Yellowstone, who repeatedly and loudly made his displeasure known at speaking events. Esmerelda for her part dismissed all concerns with a blasé calmness that would be more appropriate to choosing dinner rather than technically committing to invasion. She was however extremely displeased with Mr Yellowstone, eventually making the now infamous decision to strip his entire family of all standing, dropping him off at a random Confederate station and declaring that “Yellow is banned from the Imperium”. Of course, it is most likely she simply didn’t know Yellowstone’s full name. Regardless, Imperial Doctrine would apply, and the law as spoken was created. Thus, the unusually comical situation of the actual colour yellow being removed from all Imperial stations and settlements, right down to personal clothing, artwork, and even food, was undertaken that same week.
One small unpleasant event aside, the young Empress was living life to the fullest, ordering various delicacies from across the Confederation to be brought to her constantly moving fleet. She broke up the tension of potential war by making various public speeches of great humour. Amongst them, a detailed comparison of Human, Chiklid and Fren mating patterns, a series of rhymes regarding missiles, and an incredulous challenge of a friendly combat session with the President of the Confederation. Thankfully for the dignity of all concerned, President Tooka politely refused, suggesting that Esmerelda would have more fun returning home. Finally, after several months cruising around Confederation space, she decided to do just that. But not before an assassination attempt was made, right on her own ship. The identity of the assassins remains a mystery to this day. However, Esmerelda faced two of the assailants herself in hand to hand combat. Footage of this still circulates around the Confederation; however, it is much harder to locate in Imperial space. For someone who was accepted as a comical, almost buffoonish figure, she displayed skill and exceptional martial ability as she viciously defeated her attackers. A whole new aspect of the otherwise dreamy, jovial Ellie was revealed.
Arriving back at home, she announced she was going to personally oversee development of a barren planet, turning it into the shining jewel of the Imperium. She offered eye-watering subsidies and grants for individuals and businesses to relocate to Ellie’s Landing, the capital settlement. I won’t bore you with the economic theorem but suffice to say that there was a significant short-term blow to the internal economy of the Imperium as dozens of organisations and wealthy individuals flocked from the Centre to this relatively far off outpost. If you wish to judge whether it was worth the effort, you can always travel to the now renamed Esmerelda system today to find a thriving series of settlements, famed mostly for the ongoing luxury garment industries across one planet and three moons. And yes, they do now sell yellow items, as the ban was quietly dropped by a later Emperor.
Despite what would be years of work on this new settlement, she would still use her position to satisfy both her insatiable desire for new experiences and of course, her equally insatiable desire for sexual pleasure. Further driving to push the boundaries of decency and decorum, she imported a handful of Fren-made drugs to her personal ship, by now a lair of debauchery and revelry never before witnessed by Imperial eyes. There were few barriers left for the elites of society to hold onto, but even those few vanished as the poorest and most common citizens lined up to enter the ship. A purpose made docking station was attached to the ship, now something of a luxury cruise liner more than the battleship it had started out as being. People left their jobs, packed up everything they owned and travelled across the entire Imperium, and from beyond, to partake in the constant parties, music events, feasts and the variety of more ‘adult’ activities on board.
A news reporter, one Zhing May representing an unaffiliated mining colony, had travelled to the ship to give a live report on the ongoing settlement development. Within an hour of her first direct interview, she had to cut the feed after she found herself unable to resist the Empress’s advances. She did, however, share with Esmerelda a small piece of information about a new species that had been discovered on the fringes of Confederation space. A large-scaled quadruped, almost like an ancient Earth reptile. Esmerelda in her normal way was instantly taken with the idea of taming this massive creature. Of course, she takes a massive coterie with her to this planet, ignoring what had become by now, empty warnings of danger and diplomatic intrigue by her oft-ignored advisory staff.
Despite the tragic deaths of several of those advisors during the process, incredibly, she managed to ride one of these massive life-forms, spending hours and then days traversing the arid rocky landscape of the mostly barren planet. She had an entire ship made to operate as a biosphere for this creature, and over the next couple of years assembled, at obscene expense and with the loss of several more lives, an entire animal reserve of dozens of lifeforms from across known space. It is an unfortunate measure of unfamiliar cultural standards, but those poor staff members that lost their lives were considered expendable, something non-Imperial citizens cannot easily comprehend. What an Emperor wants, an Emperor gets, regardless of all other factors.
It was kept very quiet at the time, but it is known now that she had two children, a boy, and a girl, at some point during this period. Her bloodline was preserved, although the identities of these children remain a mystery to this day. Another mystery, sadly the last for this incredible woman, was about to occur. One day, s
he had decided to audition for a part in a hugely popular VC show called “The Asteroid Rulers”, she was speaking to the assembled media and fans. As always, she was witty, charming, flirty, and lavish in her generosity. Someone asked an open question about a future plot, and whilst Esmerelda was answering, she suddenly stopped mid-sentence. She stood up at her table, with an intensely focussed look on her face as she glared around the room. She then said “I cannot waste any more time. Our home is out there beyond our reach. I said I would return Earth to the fold of humanity, and I will. I leave my attendants to disseminate my possessions and property as they wish” she announced, before departing. She dismissed her ship staff and crew, each with massive pay-offs, before directing her ship directly towards Earth and disappearing into warpspace before anyone could respond.
And with that, she was gone, never to be seen or heard from again.
In the decades since, most people have focussed on the random unpredictable behaviour, the scandals, the political incidents. Personally, I prefer to focus on the passionate generosity, the endless charm, and the innate humanity of a young dreamer given ultimate power and trying to do her best for others despite her own flaws. Perhaps the most important fact of all, however, is that despite ruling the Imperium for almost three decades in a galaxy littered with a history of wars, genocides, and atrocities, the peace between the Imperium and the various bodies around known space remained constant. Something many leaders, both Imperial and Confederate, have failed to manage.
For our next issue, I have a detailed breakdown, as far as is publicly available of course, of the events that led to the Columbian Accords. I will hand you back to my esteemed colleague.
The Most Popular V-Cube Broadcasts
By Tessa Labrell
Another wonderful piece of history from the equally wonderful Victoria there. Sadly, my tastes are a lot more mundane. I admit to spending a lot more time in the station’s luxury V-Cube suites than is probably healthy! There are countless broadcasts to watch, from the endless sports across the galaxy, to passionate romantic stories of adventure and danger. Almost too many to watch, although I do try my best. Here are a few of my personal favourites.
3) The Subloni Musical Assembly
Music is something we all love, but we don’t necessarily know what everyone else likes. Of course, like most humans, normally I only ever listen to our own music, as I assume most species do. We all tend to be a bit insular. Obviously, there are types of music that one species may enjoy that others can barely hear! Thankfully, a couple of years ago a group of Sublon musical acts decided to fix this problem for everyone. The Subloni Musical Assembly started firstly as a showcase for the various musically talented Sublons amongst their somewhat secretive society. The impressive thing is, even more so than the Chiklids, is that most of them do not use instruments.
A magical (and dizzying!) combination of hard and soft stems, internal air bladders, small leaf-like appendages, and all manner of other biological gifts allow them to create a symphony of sound entirely on their own. To watch a single Sublon play a piece is a furious flurry of activity. I honestly cannot describe the performances, you truly must go see them yourselves!
But this wasn’t enough for the Assembly, led by the Master Flute, known only as Anneeaah. They decided to extend the musical experience across the entire galaxy, so the show now includes old-fashioned symphony orchestras, experimental techno-thought music, Chiklid “chatter-bands” and “cave-clickers”, single performers, massive groups of hundreds of mixed species acoustics, the famed Fren Bubble Choir, and so many more. Please go watch it!
2)The Adventuring
Ever since our two species first encountered one another, the Fren have appeared to be both friendly and surprisingly knowledgeable about humanity. From speaking perfect English in that famous first meeting to adopting human accents and mannerisms, we are like old friends now. But they have also seeped themselves in the lakes of our cultures, to use their phrase. Fren re-imaginings and reboots of old Earth-based entertainment have proven massively popular with Fren and human alike. I have found their comedy VCs to be very smart and this broadcast is one of the best.
A tale of three ninja-like assassins who keep failing to get their targets, in a fantasy world inspired by ancient Earth history. Rubba, Tooba, and Lenof are the main characters, represented by each of the three Fren sexes. Because a lot of it is created underwater, the combat scenes especially tend to lead to hilarious overacting. They also use a lot of physical comedy when on land, struggling to breathe, tripping over each other, sticking to each other whilst trying to hide from the King’s guards. The “Outsider’s Apples” scene is one of the best comedy skits you’ll ever see, I promise you! The Hidden Tree episode is wonderful, the trio all stick together and pretend to be a giant, and…well, I won’t spoil the whole story, but they even have a ridiculous scene in space! Perhaps the funniest thing about the show is the other Fren that play the minor human characters, King Geonorutha, Queen Mortobollono, the lusty farmer Sherellato. The running gag obviously is that human names are really long-winded to the Fren!
If you catch it in the next week, you might catch a special guest character, played by a very famous Chiklid. No more clues though!
3) Return to Earth
Of course, I was going to pick this one! If you are a Slek-drinking trillionaire who only wears handcrafted Chiklid weaves, then you’ll hate this show. If you’re a slightly boring normal person with a romantic outlook on life like me, you’ll love it! Harking back to the great old days of creative entertainment and heroic stories, this sprawling, near endless adventure started with the story of two people, Sally, played by the absolutely gorgeous Louisa Jobert, and her charming rogue-ish friend Katala, played by the equally charming Abadara Grishi. They find a strange probe whilst out star touring, which leads them to an abandoned station floating next to a random moon. Or so they think. It’s actually an advanced scouting post for an alien empire that seeks to control Earth itself, the ancient Paradise and home of humanity, because of some vague religious prophecy.
I know, it sounds really cringeworthy. Yes, some of the plots are ridiculous, and some of the early broadcasts have exceptionally bad dialogue. But honestly, give it a season or two, and you’ll love it! The QuestoBot War plot was amazing, and that was only season three! From the beginning, the story involves comedy, romance, time travel, history lessons, ranting monologues, ancient starship wrecks, zany technology, a variety of interesting alien species, and lots more. They started to include more actual non-human cast members amongst the main stars, although as one of the very few VCs that is popular in Imperial and Confederate space, this decision drew some criticism amongst Imperium-based fans for pandering to Confed audiences.
The show is still going strong, so I won’t spoil too many of the plots or stories. I will say they haven’t actually reached Earth yet, so you haven’t missed that if indeed they ever get there. And the blossoming love story between Sally and Katala is worth the wait!
Also, they are in fact planning to create some scenes for the new season right here on Sanctum, so keep your eyes open for that!
Interesting Ships
By Victoria Kihoro
No. 2 - The Confederation “Piranha” Fleet Screener
I admit to never watching any of those VC broadcasts. I tend to enjoy the factuals more than the fictionals. The Chiklid documentary “Ascending to Life” is a favourite of mine, a truly outstanding piece of filmmaking. Although I do not think I would ever consider Tessa to be boring.
For our next ship section, we turn to the Confederation Navy and an unusual concept straight from the fictional VCs spoken of in the previous section. It has been standard across all known states and powers to have large starships. This is for many reasons, but a particularly prominent one is the requirement of a Paris Drive to allow the ship to reach other systems. Without one, even other planets within a system would
be an extensive trip of hours between orbital bodies. Hence the idea of a single pilot craft was something largely ignored until now.
Roughly 16 metres from front to back, these ‘Piranha’ fighters are used mostly to harass enemy vessels, occupy their weapon systems, intercept torpedoes, recon missions, and a variety of other tactical uses. Whilst they do not have anything like proper firepower, the missile rack attached to the ship allows up to 5 missiles to be carried if needed, as well as a dual laser cannon set-up to provide protection to their assigned ships. On their own, they wouldn’t be of much use against large combat ships, but a swarm of these fighters can bring down much larger vessels, and indeed they have done so in the recent ‘Jewel Pirate’ incident that filled the news broadcasts for a fortnight.
The Confederation Navy has recently been using a new type of ship, jointly of Chiklid/Sublon design, that is designed to carry dozens of these craft. The massive Oooluurren ships, a Subloni word meaning “Life-Giver”, disperse the fighters by opening up an array of launchers and literally spraying the fighters out. The concept was based on the All-bunar plants native to Sublon, that launch their seeds in a similar fashion. These ships are attached to large Confederate fleets, and with only a handful of Oooluurren-class carriers in a fleet, literally hundreds of ‘Piranhas’ can be launched.
As said they are not large enough to possess a proper Paris Drive, but they have a highly modified version that allows each fighter to operate at full capacity for an estimated fourteen hours before requiring a recharge. This capability provides a fascinating tactical concept, a new form of space combat. For hundreds of years, all known spacefaring powers have used larger ships in an increasing race towards using more weapons, heavier armour, stronger shielding, larger calibre projectiles and so on. Dozens of these teardrop-shaped vessels, using cutting-edge gravitor technology to be surprisingly nimble, can whittle away the shields of much larger ships whilst remaining extremely difficult to target, let alone stop. Most ships are simply not equipped with the weaponry to defeat this type of attack.
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