Madison held her breath.
“My initiation was to beat up an elderly man walking his dog in the park.”
“Did you do it?” she asked before she could stop herself. The horrific image flickered through her mind, and nausea raged through her as she waited for his answer.
“I think I would have,” Gabe replied. “If Ricky hadn’t shown up.”
Her relief was immediate, though her instincts deep down told her that he wouldn’t have done it.
“No, you wouldn’t have. But thank God Ricky was there to stop you.”
“Ricky being there was no blessing.” Gabe gave a harsh laugh. “It was his death sentence.”
Madison’s insides twisted and her throat grew tight. She almost didn’t want to know, but could guess what happened next.
“There were two of us getting initiated that day. Me and another boy a couple years older than me. His initiation was different.” He paused. “He was told to shoot and wound, but not kill, the next person who came down the trail.”
She clenched her fists. “Was it Ricky?”
His silence she took as an affirmation. She stood and put a gentle hand on his arm.
“The boy was either a terrible shot or an excellent one.” His tone had gone flat, his expression blank. “Because the bullet went straight through Ricky’s heart. He died right away.”
“You didn’t kill him, Gabe.”
“I may not have pulled the trigger, but I killed him.”
“You were a messed-up kid,” she argued. “You were twelve years old, for goodness sake. You were a product of your environment.”
“Oh, do you think so?” His tone mocked her now. “So then why wasn’t every kid on my block in a gang? Why didn’t Ricky join a gang instead of aiming for a college education?”
“You have to stop blaming yourself.” She reached up and took his face between both of her hands, forcing him to look at her. “You were a child. Look how far you’ve come since then.”
“But if I hadn’t—”
“Ricky chose to come after you. He must have known the risks involved. That showed how much he loved you. And what you’ve done with your life since shows how much you must have loved him.” She met his tormented gaze.
“I’m on the verge of being promoted to head up the gang unit,” Gabe admitted, some of the anguish diminishing in his eyes. “It’s what I’ve wanted to do ever since Aunt Martha took me in and helped me get my life in order. If I can make a difference in their lives, just get these kids on track…”
Warmth swept through her. “That’s wonderful, Gabe. I really do think it’s your calling.”
Gabe’s hands covered hers and tightened about the wrists.
“Why don’t you think I’m a terrible person, Maddie?”
“Because you’re not!” she cried. The need to convince him swelled stronger inside her. “God, you’re not. You’re a wonderful man who had a very difficult upbringing. Please, Gabe, forgive yourself and let it go.”
“Maddie.” He groaned and pulled her into his arms, his touch gentle as he caressed her cheek. “You should hate me for what I just told you.”
“Oh, Gabe. I could never hate you. Never.”
He stared down at the woman in his arms. This woman was amazing. She hadn’t looked at him with repulsion when he told her about Ricky. The pain in her eyes had been a mirror to his soul. As if they were connected.
He buried his hands in her hair and tilted her head up so he could close his mouth over her parted lips. Madison’s eyes drifted shut and she sighed, winding her arms around his neck.
He loved her. God help him, he was in love with Maddie.
Gabe’s throat tightened with emotion as he lowered her onto her back on the fur. His mouth urged her lips to part so he could slide his tongue inside. She mimicked the soft and gentle thrusting motion of his tongue as his hand cupped the side of her face.
They made no move to go any further, but continued the slow, sensual kissing.
After a while Madison pulled away and urged him to lie down beside her.
“Let me give you a back rub,” she said softly, giving him a glance from under her eyelashes.
A back rub sounded amazing. Gabe didn’t argue, just rolled over onto his stomach and folded his arms under his head.
“I’ll be right back. I need to grab some lotion.” Her feet made little padding sounds across the floor, and she came back and knelt beside him.
“Just relax. Try to focus on the feel of my hands.”
“That shouldn’t be too hard,” he mumbled against his arm.
He heard lotion squirting, and the smell of vanilla reached his nose.
Her soft hands began rubbing the lotion into his naked back. “Your skin is thirsty; it soaked all that lotion up.”
He gave a sigh of pleasure when she started to knead him, moving up his shoulders.
She pressed her fingers harder, probed each muscle deeper. His body relaxed under her touch, his eyes drifting shut with drowsiness.
He felt the curtain of her hair tickle his back, and then she dropped a soft kiss on his neck. His body shuddered in response and he started to roll over. “Mmm.”
“Not yet, sweetie. I’ve still got to do your lower back.”
“It’s not necessary—”
“Nonsense.” She gave him a gentle push onto the fur. “Just relax and enjoy.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He lay back down, smiling as her hand traveled down his waist and further down to his ass.
“I suppose you know how great your butt is,” she told him. “It’s the best I’ve ever seen, not to mention felt.”
Amusement pricked through him. “Like it that much, do you?” He flexed the muscles in his buttocks so the flesh contracted under her fingers.
Madison giggled and continued to massage him. With the continuous movement of her fingers over his ass, Gabe’s cock stirred and all thoughts of her as just a masseuse disappeared. Once again she became Maddie Phillips, the woman he wanted to make love to.
“My hands are starting to hurt. I think I need to stop. Do you mind?”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” Gabe rolled over onto his back and reached for her hand. “How did I get so lucky to have you in my life? You’re wonderful, Maddie.”
She smiled and pleasure flickered in her gaze, before her eyelashes swept down to cover it. Her soft features flickered in the firelight. God, he wanted her. In every way, not just in bed.
“Come here.” Gabe pulled her back down next to him. She giggled and snuggled close to him. Her warm breath feathered over his chin. “You’re so beautiful.”
He lifted her chin so she met his gaze and closed his mouth over hers. Reaching down, he slid her silk nightgown up her body, his hand caressing each inch of skin he revealed.
“So soft,” he murmured against her mouth. “Here.” His fingers danced over the softness of her thigh. “And especially here.”
He moved his hand to the silk panties between her legs and found the fabric soaked with her arousal. He hooked a finger on each side of her panties and pulled them from her body.
“You’re so sexy here.” He caressed the small swell of her belly and up to her aching breasts. He stroked her nipples until they tightened into firm peaks that he could take into his mouth. His tongue swirled over her, tasting and suckling.
“Gabe…” She sighed, running a hand down his chest and then lower to his erection.
He groaned when her fingers wrapped around him, burying his face against the curve of her neck, while she stroked him. Needing to touch her, he delved his fingers between her legs and inside her. The heat and wetness of her sheath finally drove him to the edge.
“Now, I need you now.”
He sat up to put on the necessary protection and stared down at her.
The image of her lying on the fur riveted him. Her mouth swollen and parted, her legs spread and the lips of her sex shining with the moisture he’d brought forth.
But her eyes were the most amazing. They stared up at him with an expression of desire, tenderness, and complete trust.
Gabe knelt in front of her and hooked his hands under her knees, pulling her toward him. He slid her legs up over his shoulders, and entered her with one smooth thrust.
Her eyes closed and her mouth parted, and it was all he could do to keep control. But he did, thrusting slow and deep, and then increasing the pace.
He watched Maddie as her fingers gripped the fur blanket, her head thrown back. Her cries spurred him on, and he pushed harder into her. Each thrust brought a tightness in his chest and further bonded her to him.
With a ragged groan he came and her inner muscles clenched around him through his explosion. A second later she cried out with her own climax.
He lowered her legs back to the blanket and stroked a hand down her quivering stomach.
“I’ll be right back.” He stood and left her alone in the gentle flicker of firelight.
He disposed of the condom and went to grab another blanket. When he returned, Maddie waited for him exactly as he’d left her. She gave him a lazy smile and patted the fur next to her.
Gabe lay down and scooted close to her, pulling the blanket over their bodies. She snuggled against him and buried her face against his chest.
“Thank you, Maddie.” His lips brushed over her forehead.
She kissed his chest in response.
He closed his eyes, listening to the crackling of the fire.
Chapter Nineteen
Gabe woke the next morning and listened to the sound of the rain coming down on the roof of the log cabin. The power hadn’t yet come on and the soft light of early morning spilled through the windows. With the fire out, the room had turned drafty, but he didn’t feel the cold with the fur blanket and the warmth of his woman in his arms.
His woman. Feathering a hand down her back, he pondered that thought. What a primal way of putting it. His caress became more possessive when he thought back to last night. It still blew his mind that she hadn’t looked at him like he was some kind of monster when he told her about Ricky.
For the first time is his life, he realized, he was almost ready to forgive himself. No matter how many times in the past Eric or his aunt had told him to let it go, he’d always held onto that self-destructive guilt. And then Maddie had come and changed everything. There wasn’t a single part of him she hadn’t changed.
She stirred in his arms, nuzzling her cheek against his chest and emitting a soft sigh. Gabe dropped his chin to the top of her head and closed his eyes again.
He just lay there, listening to the rain and enjoying the feel of holding Maddie. The ringing of his cell finally encouraged him to get up.
Setting her gently aside, he slid out from the blanket and went to find his phone.
Madison woke to the sound of Gabe’s voice. She stretched her body out under the blanket and enjoyed the sensual softness of the fur against her naked skin. A languid smile passed over her face. Had she ever been more relaxed and just plain happy?
Rolling onto her side, Madison watched him pace across the room. His expression became unreadable as he spoke to someone on his cell phone. He hadn’t put on any clothes, which she didn’t mind because it gave her the chance to admire his exquisite body. He was all sinewy muscle and strength. He seemed perfect. Her protector and lover.
He turned just then and saw her watching him. His expression softened as he looked at her and mouthed “good morning” while still listening to the caller.
She mouthed a greeting back and her smile widened.
She got up out of their makeshift bed and went to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. When she came back out, Gabe had his travel bag out and had begun packing up his things. She took in the scene and glanced back at him.
“What’s going on?”
“We’re going back to Seattle. Go ahead and pack up your stuff when you get the chance.”
“Going back? But why—”
Her question was cut off as he hauled her into his arms and dropped a long, deep kiss on her mouth. When he raised his head she’d almost forgotten what she’d just asked.
“They’ve got him, Maddie.”
She blinked and shook her head.
“They just brought the Espresso Bandit into custody.”
Her breath caught in her throat. “Are…are you sure?”
“Yes.” He went back to packing. “And they want you to identify him in a lineup at four. So we need to haul ass.”
Her knees weakened and she sat on the couch. She should have been elated—and she was. But the elation collided with the knowledge that the intimacy of the past days would end.
“Maddie?” Gabe’s expression had turned to one of concern.
“No, I’m fine.” She shook her head. “It’s just strange. I almost didn’t think they were going to get him. It’s weird knowing I don’t have to be afraid anymore.”
“Of course they got him.” He sat beside her. “And everything can go back to normal now.”
Her eyes widened at his words and he laughed, realizing his mistake.
“Okay, not everything.”
“I was going to say…”
“Maddie, I’m not going anywhere.” He squeezed her hand.
Madison’s hand tightened in his and she nodded. “Thank you. Let me just throw my things together and we can head out.”
On the drive home, Madison thought about what would happen next. Of course she’d reopen Ooo La Latté and hope that business would be good. Then there was the move back into her apartment to be made. No more waking up next to Gabe. The thought sent an empty feeling through her and built on the unease that was already present.
“What’s wrong?”
She wasn’t surprised that he’d picked up on her fluctuating mood.
“I’m not sure. Something just feels off,” she admitted.
“Are you worried about identifying him?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged and glanced out the window. “The whole thing feels surreal.”
“Understandable. I’ll be with you the whole time, mi vida. You don’t have to worry about a thing.” He went quiet for a moment. “We’re running a little early. Do you want to grab some lunch?”
“Think we could swing by my apartment? I’m all out of clean clothes and I wouldn’t mind grabbing a shower.”
“Sure we can. I’ll fix you something to eat while you’re getting ready.” He gave her a knowing smile. “You do have some type of food in those cupboards, right?”
“Give me some credit. I’ve got crackers and Top Ramen.” Her nose crinkled. “But…I’m not sure how old they are. Does Top Ramen expire?”
He laughed. “I’ll figure out something.”
They pulled up at her apartment building a short while later. Gabe carried her suitcase as he followed her into the lobby.
“Want to take the stairs instead of the elevator?” Madison asked him. When he gave her an incredulous look she explained defensively, “Fine, I just thought we could use the exercise.”
“I’ve got your twenty-pound suitcase in my hand. And besides, haven’t I given you enough of a workout all week?”
Madison didn’t think she was still capable of blushing, but her cheeks definitely felt warmer at his teasing smile.
“Point taken.”
They took the elevator up to her floor and walked down the deserted hall to her apartment. She unlocked the door and stepped inside.
When she looked around she saw what Gabe must have seen the first time he’d come in. It was a total mess. Even in the short time that they’d lived together, she’d gotten used to what a clean home could look like. It was so much nicer to return to. She made a mental note to try to change her messy habits. And maybe even go to the store and buy some groceries that could actually go bad.
Madison shrugged off her sweater and tossed it onto the floor. She’d start the cleaning thing tomorrow.
“All ri
ght, I’m going to go and get that shower now. You’re good for making us lunch?”
“I’m good,” he verified and proceeded to explore the cupboards in her kitchen.
“Thanks, I’ll be out in fifteen.”
Standing under the onslaught of warm water, Madison smiled. She really was so fortunate to have Gabe. It was amazing how things had worked out between them.
She lathered her hair with shampoo and started singing at the top of her lungs, an old Rolling Stones song. She giggled, letting the freedom of not having to worry anymore roll over her.
Ten minutes later she wrapped a towel around herself and walked into the bedroom. She searched her wardrobe, bypassing the expensive brand-name clothes and picking her oldest and most comfortable pair of jeans. She slipped on a concert T-shirt she’d picked up from some rock band years ago, realizing she’d never even worn it once. Gabe would probably have a good laugh when he saw her. Speaking of which, it was awfully quiet in the other room.
“Gabe?” she called out as she slipped on her sandals.
There was no answer. Madison left her room to find him. Her glance darted around the kitchen, but he wasn’t there. She looked toward the living room and then the hallway. Slowly, her gaze moved back to the living room, her mind registering what she’d just seen. Her body went numb and the room started to spin.
“You know,” the man said conversationally from her couch. “You pretty much defiled that Rolling Stones song. Has anybody ever told you that you can’t sing?”
Chapter Twenty
When she didn’t respond, the man she knew only as the Espresso Bandit went on.
“I’m going to have to kill you for that, you know.”
“You’re going to kill me because I can’t sing?” When Madison could finally speak her voice trembled.
“Well, no.” He laughed and kept the gun trained on her. “Don’t get me wrong, I am going to kill you. But not because of your singing.”
“I see.” Madison nodded. Not good. This was really not good. Where in the hell was Gabe? The hair on the back of her neck rose. She forced the question out. “What did you do with him?”
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