Sin for Me

by Jackie Ashenden

  “Yes.”

  Little golden sparks of anger sparked in her eyes. “What if it takes a week? What about a couple of weeks? Are you saying I have to stay in this apartment the whole time?”

  Jesus Christ. She was arguing with him about this now?

  He frowned. “You do understand how serious this is, don’t you? Oliver Novak is trying to make a bid for senator. Do you really think he won’t try to follow up any loose ends that might jeopardize his chances? Such as silencing his bastard kid?”

  It was a low blow, he knew that, and may not even be true. But shit, if it scared her into doing what he told her then that was probably a good thing. There was more at stake here than her feelings. Novak was a ruthless son of a bitch—as Gideon had good reason to know—and maybe the guy would have drawn a line at getting rid of his own daughter, but maybe he wouldn’t have. And that wasn’t a gamble Gideon wanted to take, not if it meant putting Zoe at risk

  And shit, if Zoe thought her life was in danger, then perhaps she’d think twice about running around Royal by herself.

  The sparks of anger leapt into flames. “But like you said, silencing me could mean just paying me off. It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to kill me, Gideon. Or is this what your stupid ‘sources’ say?”

  He should tell her the truth, he really should. But that would involve revealing things about her mother he didn’t want her to know, not to mention things about himself he’d been trying to leave behind for years.

  So all he said was, “You’ll just have to trust me on this.” He pushed back his chair and got to his feet, starting to gather up all the dishes. “Anyway, what’s the big deal? It’s not like you go out a lot as it is anyway.”

  Zoe gave him a bitter look. “Yeah, and who’s fault is that?”

  “Don’t tell me.” He reached for her plate. “It’s mine.”

  “Of course it’s yours. I’m not allowed to leave Royal without you. I wasn’t allowed to go to college because you couldn’t be sure of the campus security—in fucking Princeton! And then I wasn’t allowed to get a job anywhere but at your freaking garage because of the same thing.” With a sudden, sharp movement, she shoved herself away from the table, making the cups rattle and the saltshaker and syrup pot fall over. “And now you making it so I’m not allowed to leave the apartment at all. What’s next? A collar and a leash around my neck so you can tie me up?”

  Still holding their plates in his hands, Gideon stared at her. There was fury in her eyes and frustration, too, like there had been the night before. “What’s going on, Zoe? Where’s all this coming from? We talked about all that stuff.”

  “No, you talked about all that stuff. I didn’t. You told me what was going to happen.”

  “And you agreed.”

  It had been years ago, once he’d bought the garage and things had settled down. Zoe was fiercely intelligent and her grades at school had been extraordinary given her background. She was interested in just about everything, but her strengths were definitely math and most of the sciences, and her teachers had been keen to find a scholarship for one of the prestigious universities.

  But he’d blocked it. He didn’t want her going out of state, didn’t want her drawing the wrong kind of attention—any attention, to be honest. Still, she’d needed more in her life, an outlet for all her bright intellect, so he’d gone to the local community college and made a few inquiries about what sort of courses they offered.

  It was clear, though, even then, that Zoe needed more than a struggling community college in a run-down neighborhood in Detroit. That her teachers had been right, she should be applying to places like Princeton or MIT, where there were world-class facilities and teachers who could challenge and stimulate her. Money wasn’t the problem—he could have gotten it, if she’d needed it. The problem was her not being with him. Her not being safe.

  According to his contacts, Novak had already tried once before to find her, though why, Gideon didn’t know. Not for anything good, he’d lay money on the fact. Whatever, it had only cemented for him that she had to stay where she was, not draw attention. Let him protect her.

  It had been a hard decision to tell her that college would have to wait. That her job would be working for him in the garage’s office for the foreseeable future. It felt like instead of opening doors for her, he was closing them.

  But he’d had no choice. Until the issue of Novak was dealt with, Zoe had to remain off the radar.

  Understandably, she wasn’t looking very happy about that right now. “Yeah, I agreed, but it wasn’t like you gave me a choice.”

  He frowned. “You didn’t seem to find it a problem back then.”

  “Well, maybe it’s a problem now.” Her jaw was jutting mutinously, those flames of anger leaping higher.

  Fucking great. She would pick the worst possible time in the world to start questioning things.

  With an effort, Gideon kept a grip on his patience. “And why is it a problem now?”

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Her chin had come up, her eyes glittering. “Maybe it’s because I’m twenty-five and I have no career and no boyfriend. I haven’t been anywhere or done anything. I live in a stupid apartment with my stupid foster brother and work in his stupid garage office, and I’m still a stupid virgin!”

  The words echoed around the kitchen and for some reason, the only one he seemed to be able to focus on was virgin.

  “Perhaps you could do the honors?”

  Jesus. What the hell was his brain doing repeating the question she’d asked him the night before? And why the hell did he keep thinking about it?

  Zoe’s virginity or otherwise had nothing whatsoever to do with him.

  Are you sure? She’s yours, isn’t she? All of her . . .

  He turned abruptly and strode over to the kitchen sink, dumping the dirty dishes on the counter beside it.

  “So?” Zoe demanded from behind him. “You’ve got nothing to say to that?”

  “What do you want me to say?” He pulled open the dishwasher and began loading the plates, because concentrating on that was better than concentrating on memories of the night before and what she’d said. “You want to change that, you’ll have to change it after this shit with Novak is over.”

  There was an outraged silence behind him, but he didn’t stop what he was doing and he didn’t turn around. His patience was fraying like it had the previous night, a pain in the ass since he’d never had any problems with it before.

  Then again, he’d never had Zoe act like a spoiled brat before, so maybe that was the issue.

  “You’re an asshole,” Zoe said, her voice unsteady. “You don’t give a shit about what I want.”

  A flare of anger did further damage to his patience, because that was so much bullshit he didn’t know where to start. Everything he’d done for the last thirteen years was about protecting her, keeping her safe, and now she was having a fit about her goddamn feelings?

  He gritted his teeth. “If you’re going to act like a sulky teenager, I’ll treat you like one.”

  “Oh really? Am I grounded then? No, wait. I already am.”

  A cup wouldn’t sit right on the dishwasher shelves so he shoved it in way too hard, the fucking thing coming apart in his hands.

  “Fuck’s sake, Zoe. I’m not having this argument with you.” He straightened, tossing the bits of broken china onto the counter. “My decision is final. You stay here in the apartment or, if you wanna go out, you go out with me. Just until this situation with Novak is finished. Understood?”

  If looks could kill, there would have been a huge crater right where he was standing.

  “No,” she snapped. “It’s not understood. If it was Rachel instead of me, would you say the same things to her?”

  Of course he wouldn’t. Because Rachel was a friend in the same way Levi and Zee were friends, part of the small family he’d created all those years ago at the Royal Road Outreach Center. Lost teens who had nowhere to go and no one to help the
m. The same kind of teen he’d once been.

  No, he’d wouldn’t say these things to Rachel, because Rachel wasn’t his the way Zoe was his, and he hadn’t dedicated the last thirteen years of his life to making sure she was safe.

  “Like I said.” He kept his tone hard. “I’m not having this argument with you.”

  Zoe’s fingers curled into fists. “I thought you said you’d listen to me.”

  “And you told me you didn’t want to talk.”

  Her chin jutted mutinously. “Maybe I changed my mind.”

  “Yeah, well, it’s too late.” He kicked the door of the dishwasher shut. “Now, if you want something to do, you can clear up the rest of the breakfast things.”

  Zoe stared at him a long moment, her amber eyes glowing with anger. Then suddenly something changed in her face. She looked calm, as if she’d decided something. Which instantly put him on edge.

  Without a word, she turned and strode out of the kitchen.

  Ten seconds later, the front door of the apartment slammed shut.

  Fucking hell. The little brat had walked out on him.

  Chapter 4

  Zoe was almost shaking with anger as she slammed the door of the apartment behind her and headed down the stairs to the street entrance.

  She couldn’t think of why it had come up on her so suddenly either. Maybe the shock of finally knowing the identity of her father and the realization that he might be here to find her. Or maybe it was the knowledge that only now, when she’d finally figured out that she wanted her life to be different, did Gideon seem hell-bent on keeping it the same.

  Whatever; she was sick of being told what to do all the time, especially by him. And she wasn’t staying in that goddamned apartment, not when she’d finally made the decision to move on with her life.

  What about Novak? What if Gideon’s right?

  Well, what if he was? What if Oliver Novak was actually her dad and he was in Royal looking for her? Hell, she only had Gideon’s say-so that there was something shady about him. He might actually be a nice guy desperate to get in touch with his long-lost daughter and not apparently bent on “silencing” her like Gideon seemed to think. In which case there was no reason for her to stay inside, no reason at all.

  She heard the apartment door bang open again behind her.

  “Zoe!” Gideon’s voice, heavy with authority, echoed down the narrow stairwell. “Get the fuck back up here. Now.”

  Her pulse kicked up a couple of notches, but she didn’t stop going determinedly down the stairs. He was overreacting, and she was sick of it.

  Actually, she was kind of sick of him and this entire situation. Which was why she was getting out of it and heading to Rachel’s. Because that’s what she needed, some girl time with her friend. Where she didn’t have Gideon the Dick hanging over her, taunting her with his hotness, telling her what she could and couldn’t do.

  Yeah, he could suck it.

  At the bottom of the stairs she reached out to grab the door handle. Only to have Gideon’s warm, strong fingers wrap themselves around her wrist. “Oh, no you don’t,” he said roughly in her ear, and pulled her hand away from the door.

  Holy shit, how had he managed to get down the stairs so fast? Sometimes the guy moved like Zee, all fluid, silent grace, except she was pretty sure Gideon didn’t do MMA like Zee did.

  Doesn’t it make you wonder what he does do?

  But she had no time to think further, because Gideon was hauling her around to face him, his fingers tight around her wrist. All traces of his usual infuriating calm were gone. His rough, handsome features were set in hard lines, dark eyes glittering with fury.

  Her stupid heart gave a little kick in her chest. Well, she’d wanted some kind of reaction out of him, hadn’t she? Looked like she had it.

  Unfortunately, though, it didn’t change anything.

  She tried to jerk her wrist out of his grip but it was like it was stuck in concrete. “Let me go, asshole.”

  “Didn’t I just tell you that you weren’t to leave the apartment?” he demanded, ignoring her. “Didn’t you listen to a fucking word I said?”

  Her heartbeat was thumping weirdly. His fingers on her skin were hot and though he wasn’t hurting her, the pressure was firm. Enough to remind her she wasn’t going to be getting away in a hurry.

  She liked it. Crap.

  “And didn’t I just tell you to let me go?” She tried pulling her hand away again, but again, there was no moving that grip of his.

  Gideon gave her a narrow stare. “If I let you go, will you try to leave again?”

  He smelled good, of oil and wood smoke and leather, making her mouth go dry, making her feel slightly panicky. “God, I’m just going to Rachel’s. Chill out.”

  “You’re not going anywhere, I told you.”

  An intelligent woman would have bowed to the inevitable and accepted that. But it turned out she wasn’t very intelligent where Gideon was concerned.

  She took a step forward instead, getting right up in his face. “Go to hell,” she said through clenched teeth.

  His sensual mouth flattened in response, a hard light glittering in his eyes, tripping her pulse into overtime. God, was she insane?

  You know why you want to test him.

  Okay, yeah. So she did. She liked seeing his usual calm disturbed, liked making him lose his vaunted patience. He affected her so badly, why shouldn’t she affect him for a change?

  “You really don’t wanna push me on this, Zoe.” His voice had gotten an edge of darkness to it, an authority that reached right inside her and squeezed tight. Making her even more breathless.

  “Why not?” She couldn’t help herself. Needling him like this felt like being stuck on a roller coaster, unable to get off. Scary. Exhilarating. Thrilling. “What are you going to do to me if I do? Spank me like you promised last night?”

  The hard line of his jaw got tight. “You’ve got no fucking idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Sure I do.” There wasn’t much space between them, only inches. Yet she took another step forward anyway. “But maybe it doesn’t matter when you clearly don’t have the balls to do it.”

  It was a stupid thing to say and she knew it. But she was on this damn roller coaster and the adrenaline was surging in her blood, making her feel a little crazy. A little wild.

  And he was so close now, towering over her the way he always did, the broad width of his shoulders and chest making her very aware of his strength. Of his power. Of the firm pressure of his fingers wrapped around her wrist. Normally it made her feel safe and protected, but not now.

  Now she felt like she’d put herself into the path of an approaching hurricane.

  The dense black of his eyes held hers like a magnet. “And maybe little girls should be seen and not heard.”

  A thrill bolted straight down her spine, sending another surge of adrenaline through her system. She lifted her chin. “I’m not a little girl, asshole.”

  “Yeah, you are. A little girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing.” He jerked her wrist all of a sudden, pulling her so she was right up against him. “You’re poking a sleeping tiger with a stick, Zoe, and if you’re not careful, it’s gonna wake up and bite you.”

  The breath had locked in her throat, the heat of his body making her want to melt against him. “Maybe I want it to wake up,” she said recklessly, her voice all husky. “Maybe I want it to bite me.”

  He was very still, a hard, hot wall blocking her path. “No, you don’t.”

  “Bullshit.” She was totally out of control now, but she didn’t care. “Everyone thinks you’re some scary dude, but I know the truth. You’re not a tiger, Gideon, you’re a damn pussy cat.” She met his gaze, challenging him. “We both know you’d never do anything to hurt me, so how about you stop all this stupid crap about tigers and start treating me like a responsible adult.”

  “A responsible adult, huh?” His voice was quiet, level. Which in itself should have been a w
arning. “And how exactly should I be treating you as a responsible adult?”

  Zoe swallowed, trying to ignore the quiver right down deep inside. The one that knew this was the calm before the storm. “Well, you could start by letting me go.”

  “And then?”

  “And then you’ll let me go out to see Rachel.”

  There was a silence, the air getting thick, the way it did before a heavy rainstorm.

  Then Gideon let go of her wrist.

  Oddly deflated, Zoe absently rubbed at it with her other hand. “Thank you. I guess you—”

  But she never had a chance to finish.

  He reached out, grabbed her, and tossed her over his shoulder the way he had the night before. Then, carrying her as effortlessly as if she weighed nothing, he strode back up the stairs.

  Zoe blinked, momentarily confused by just what the hell had happened, staring at the stairs receding below her. She was upside down and the heat of Gideon’s shoulder was pressing against her stomach, one strong arm wrapped around her thighs, holding her in place.

  “This is getting old,” she muttered.

  “If you don’t like it, stop being such a brat.”

  They were at the top of the stairs, Gideon pulling open the door to the apartment—or rather, the door to her prison.

  Jesus, this was such bullshit.

  As he stepped into the hallway, she twisted violently, trying to get away. Only to have his hand come down on her butt. Hard.

  All the air rushed out of her lungs in a startled gasp, the sound of his palm smacking down on her echoing in the narrow space.

  Holy shit, had he really just spanked her?

  “Try that again and you’ll see how much of a fucking pussy cat I am.” There was a rough edge to his voice, one she’d never heard before. “And I guarantee you won’t like it.”

  She blinked again, staring sightlessly at the floor in shock, struggling to process what he’d just done. Her heart was racing, one ass cheek stinging from where he’d smacked her. It hurt and yet . . . it felt good, too. How did that work?