[13] 1. A form of Chinese duck-egg noodle which is traditionally prepared by a chef who sits on a thick bamboo shoot and rides it back and forth over the dough. Because of the rarity of the ingredients, and the intense (not to mention somewhat comical) labor involved in preparation, true jook-sing noodles are only available in a few spots in Hong Kong, the Sunset district of San Francisco, and in the parking lot of Dillard's in Friendswood, Texas.
2. A Cantonese term used to describe a fully Westernized individual of Chinese descent. It is borrowed from a term referring to a length of bamboo used to measure grain, but it is a more direct and poetic reference to the compartmentalized and discontinuous nature of the internal structure of the bamboo shoot. The term was once used pejoratively, however it has since been adopted with a certain amount of pride by Chinese Americans who wish to return to their homeland. [Back]
[14] Since Russian and Chinese rockets launch over land, their capsules are equipped with braking rockets in addition to parachutes which enable them to come down safely over either land or sea. The American philosophy has always been that NASA has access to more water than they do spare engineering resources, so splashdowns have remained the preferred method by which US capsules return to Earth. With a full 70 percent of our planet's surface covered with water, what could possibly go wrong? [Back]
[15] Capsule communicator. Rather than everyone in mission control shouting orders simultaneously, all communication with the spacecraft goes through a single individual — usually another astronaut who is as much an interpreter as he is a relay. In this case, it is one very disgruntled Christopher Noone who only recently completed several long sessions of hyperbaric oxygen therapy in a re-compression chamber so small he couldn't even scratch his nose. Rather than potentially being remembered for all eternity as the first man to walk on Mars, Noone will now be the man who attempts to lead Lockwood to immortality while he himself is quietly relegated to the footnotes of history. [Back]
[16] On the trip out, Lockwood's onboard waste management system was nothing so luxurious as a zero gravity toilet. In order to save both engineering time and cargo weight, his relief options consisted of a simple urine collection hose (which vented out into space implying that one wanted to be very careful not to open the vacuum purge valve too far while one was still attached), and plastic bags with adhesive rims, finger pockets (use your imagination — or better still, don't), and several blue germicide capsules which were key components in a procedure that I can promise you nobody who has ever dreamt of being an astronaut has ever seriously pondered. [Back]
[17] "To be determined" or "to be decided." The term "TBD" is generally used to convey that certain critical logistical details relating to an event have yet to be resolved. The letters "TBD" are also sometimes inserted as a placeholder in early drafts of documents in order to indicate the need to revisit sections requiring additional detail or further consideration. This is almost certainly the very first documented use of the term referring to the method by which an astronaut will find his way back to his planet of origin. [Back]
[18] NASA has a long and proud tradition of employing interns as a form of cheap and humiliating labor. In fact, ever since the main display broke in mission control, it has been the distinct honor of an intern to hold up a paper cutout of whatever spacecraft is currently being tracked (sometimes even more than one), and to simultaneously calculate its trajectory, and move it along its simulated path. Puppeteering a paper spacecraft while juggling a slide rule, drafting compass, protractor, pencil, and a pad of graph paper is no small feat, and comprises a set of skills that engineers are unlikely to acquire anywhere else in the world but NASA. [Back]
[19] A combination of nitrogen and oxygen. The air we breathe is approximately 78% nitrogen, 21% oxygen, and 1% other gases (primarily argon). Nitrox mixtures used in scuba diving typically contain less nitrogen and more oxygen in order to reduce the risks of decompression sickness, a notable exception being Christopher Noone's mixture during manual coupling verification EVA training at the Neutral Buoyancy Laboratory about a month ago. [Back]
Table of Contents
Title
License
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Footnotes
Farmer One Page 7