“You forgot that I still love you,” Remy said, spreading a thick layer of awkwardness on the situation.
Lana giggled like she was sometimes prone to do in weird situations. “At least you had Sam. I can’t wait to meet her.” Lana smiled warmly at Sabine as she tried to change the subject.
“She lives just down the street a ways,” Remy said. “I’m sure she’d run right over if you called her. Then you lot can have a slumber party with pajamas, make overs, and all that girly shit,” he said sarcastically. “Stuff yourselves with pizza and ice cream and then talk about the boys you’ll never have while completely ignoring the man right in front of you.” He knew he was out of line, but he couldn’t stand that Sabine seemed to hate him now. He couldn’t really blame her, but the fact that she’d lost faith and seemed to give up on him cut deep. Her summary of the events leading up to where they currently were left out some rather important moments, and it hurt to know she’d gloss over them like they were insignificant. “I’ll leave you to it.”
As she watched him start to leave, Sabine said, “Remy, wait…” but before she could get a response, he was gone.
“What was all that about?” Lana asked. “You guys were so in love and happy before.”
“It’s complicated.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“No… I want to know what you’ve been up to. I need to hear what normal people are doing nowadays and forget about all the bullshit I’ve been going through.”
“Okay, but are you sure you don’t want to go after him?”
Sabine sat in silence for a moment as she pondered her response. “No, it isn’t safe for me to leave.” She knew she didn’t have to go far if she wanted to talk to him. He was right outside, perched in the tree most likely. If he truly did care about her, that was where he’d be.
CHAPTER 14
Early the next morning, Remy tapped on the window a few times before getting Sabine’s attention. She ambled over to the window, sliding it up. Finding him looking just as tired as she felt, she stepped aside so he could come in.
“I’m exhausted and need to sleep.”
“Why are you so tired? You don’t normally get worn out so easily.”
“I haven’t fed, if you must know, but I do generally need to sleep sometimes.”
As untrusting of him as she was, she felt bad that he hadn’t eaten. “If you’re hungry, then feed from me. It’s what my destiny in life is after all.”
“No. I’ll just sleep it off.”
“Remy… will we ever be able to fix us?”
“That depends on you, love. I’m ready and willing, yet you still don’t see that I’m me.”
“I’ve been through such a roller coaster with you these last few months. I’ve wanted so much to bring you out of it, and you’ve fooled me numerous times. I just don’t know what to believe.”
“You don’t get it,” he exclaimed. “I need you, Sabine… Every second since the sight of you wearing my mother’s necklace brought me back, I can feel darkness coming for me. It’s picking at my mind, clawing its way in. I’m fighting so hard to stay here with you, but if I’m being honest, it seems like a much easier time just to let it take me. If I thought you’d be any better off, I would.”
She moved closer to him, placing one arm around his back, guiding him to the bed. “Lay down.”
Lying on the bed, he began to stare at the ceiling. Her body shifted the mattress as she sat next to him. Her hand slid behind his head, propping it up while she wedged her shoulder into the space between him and the pillow so that his face rested against her chest. He turned into her, his hand lying gently on her belly, and closed his eyes. Listening to the steady sound of her breath and the thumping of her heart lulled him into a deep sleep.
When he awakened later that night, the sounds that had put him to sleep were still going strong. She’d stayed with him all day and now slept peacefully beside him. He sat up, preparing to check the outside of the house to make sure no one was lurking about, when he noticed an envelope on the table beside him with his name on it.
His long fingers reached out for it and carefully began to open it. He glanced over at her to make sure she was still asleep because he wasn’t sure what to expect and didn’t want her looking at him or his reaction to whatever it was she’d felt the need to write to him about.
Remy,
First, I want to say to you that I’m sorry. Sorry for the way things have turned out, sorry that you sacrificed yourself to save me, and sorry for the way I’ve been acting. I do love you. I would say more than you can possibly know, but I think you know exactly how much I love you, because I know in my heart that you feel as strongly about me as I do you. Probably more so if what you’ve told me is true about how strongly vampires feel emotion. So, let me explain what is going on with me and where I’m at in my head. It’ll be easier this way because otherwise, you’ll interrupt me, then I’ll get pissed, it’ll disintegrate into an argument, and I don’t want that. Stop laughing; you know that’s exactly what would happen
She knew him too well. He was laughing, and she was spot on in her assessment. He continued reading.
When I thought you died, devastated was an understatement of how I felt. Seeing your lifeless body lying on a cold floor, knowing in my heart that you were gone, destroyed me. You were the last person I ever wanted to fall in love with, but once it happened, I couldn’t imagine my life without you. I wanted to die just so I might have the chance to find you in whatever awaits us after death, and if there was nothing, well, then, at least I didn’t have to feel the pain anymore.
When I think back to the amount of time I mourned you, it seemed like an eternity even though it was only a few hours. By the time I came back, you weren’t dead, but you weren’t you either. A cold, heartless thing had replaced the beautiful man I’d fallen in love with. The last thing I wanted to do was give up on you. I wanted to fix you, to make you see me and the love we shared again.
But every time I tried, you shot me down, claiming I was naïve or silly for wanting to try, but I didn’t give up. You decided to send me away to live with Mary, and in a moment of weakness, I gave in to you. I wanted to feel you inside of me and reconnect on a level only we could reach together. In order to not feel so guilty and like I was cheating on you, I told you to lie to me, to pretend like you still loved me, and you did. You lied so well that I believed it was really you and that you had returned to me, but in an instant, your eyes were dark and cold again. You were gone.
I had these experiences with you several times over the past few months. I craved you and the only way I could find you was to request that you lie to me. You got so good at it, and in those moments, I was in heaven… Until we were finished and you brushed me off like I meant nothing.
This wore me down to the point where I had to give it up. I had to focus on finding my family instead of working on you because you were gone. It was only after Mary had figured out that you were possessed by Nicas that I began to have hope for us again. When I saw you look at the necklace, I watched your eyes grow warmer and brighter. I knew in my heart that it was you, but how long would it last? Nicas is still in you somewhere. So you see, when you came back to me last night, I couldn’t allow myself to believe. I expected him to return and knock me flat on my ass again.
I still expect to look at you and see the cold eyes of a monster staring back at me, and I’m sorry for that. I want this to be real. I don’t want it to be a lie. I want this to be us again, but I can’t fully give myself to you until I’m sure.
Let’s work together to find Mary so she can get rid of that evil bastard permanently. Once we accomplish that, we’ll be free to be together again. I love you. You have to know that no matter what happens to me or us, you were the love of my life. Sound familiar? You once said those words to me, and I want you to know that no truer words have ever been spoken.
Love,
Sabine
Clutching the letter to his
chest, his heart physically ached when he thought of all she had been through. Though he could remember glimpses of what she was talking about, her letter allowed him a deeper view into everything that had happened when he was in the darkness.
When he looked at her, the overwhelming feeling of love washed over him. He reached out to touch her soft skin, careful not to wake her. Leaning over her, he bent down and gently brushed his lips against hers. He wanted to take her, to claim her as his once again, but he’d respect her wishes to wait until a time when she could be sure that it was truly him and not Nicas. The thought of Nicas having his way with her body made him sick. How was it that I was able to come through at those times? Why would he allow me to? Maybe he wasn’t as strong as I was when it came to her. I can’t imagine that I would ever sit back and allow someone to violate her. Maybe I sensed what was going on and fought my way back to her, but why couldn’t I or didn’t I tell her it truly was me? Nicas had to have still had his claws in me, controlling me. He was only able to convince her because he’d allowed me to take over… like a puppeteer.
Does he still control me, and I’m oblivious? I know what I have to do.
*
The smell of bacon wafted through the air, rousing her awake. Her mouth watered in anticipation of the first bite. Where is that smell coming from?
Sabine opened her eyes, not knowing what to expect. Would he be there? Did he read the letter? Was the bacon within reach? A small tray holding a plate of food—bacon with a cheese omelet and a cup of hot tea—along with a handwritten letter sat on the bed beside her.
Which one first, the food or the letter? Sabine picked up the fork and the letter, looking at them both. Deciding to quiet her stomach first, she put the letter down and inhaled the food within minutes as she eyeballed the folded-up paper. Her shaking hand reached for the letter once more, and she began to read it.
To Sabine, my love,
I read the letter you left me, and I just want you to know that it has helped me to understand so much more than I did before. I don’t have vivid memories of the last few months, only flashes… save for the times we made love. I don’t know for sure why it is that he allowed me to come through at those times. I suspect he underestimated me and how hard I would fight to keep you safe from him, though he must have held some degree of control over me then, too.
Truth be told, I fear that he may still have control over me now, and it terrifies me beyond belief. I want nothing more than to be with you again, and I look forward to a time when our lives settle down a bit so we can reconnect. But that time is not now… Not while this other entity lurks inside me.
I won’t put you in any more danger for now, and I plan to stay away until this is resolved. It’s the only way I can ensure that you know whether it is him or me. As long as I am in control, you will not see me.
I’m sorry it has to be this way, but I cannot put your life in jeopardy any longer. I have someone watching your house at all times, so please don’t feel as if I have abandoned you. I promise I will work day and night until I have Mary back.
Never in my life have I loved someone as much as I love you. I cannot fathom eternity without you and the thought of losing you someday, even if it is eighty years from now, makes me sick inside. Promise me that when this is all over with, you’ll consider letting me turn you. I don’t know if you know this, but there is such a thing in the vampire world as a mate (and no, I don’t mean a friend, as you have undoubtedly heard me use the word mate that way before). A mate is one who is equal in all aspects to the one who makes them. My abilities and strengths would be your abilities and strengths. The love between mates intensifies drastically, and they long for no one else. They can feed almost exclusively from one another, only having to take human or animal blood occasionally. Most vampires scoff at the thought of taking a mate, but I can’t think of anything that would mean more to me than spending eternity with you by my side. Please, consider it, but know that no matter your decision, I will be by your side, love.
I love you. I hope to have you in my arms once again very soon…
Love,
Remy
Warm, wet tears began to pool at the corners of her eyes. She read the letter three more times before it could truly sink in. How long would this ordeal last, and how long would it be before they could be together again? And would she choose a life of immortality for him?
CHAPTER 15
Mary raised her hands to her head and rubbed her throbbing temples. A piece of cloth covered her eyes tightly, but there was no mistaking the acrid scent of her mother’s magic permeating the air around her.
“Mother? I know it’s you.”
She waited for a response, but she received none.
“Even after all these years, I still recognize your scent… Why the hell are you doing this to me?”
The cloth was yanked away from her face as a cold hand grasped her cheek. “We have bigger plans for you than training her to be his magic whore. I need your magic, and hers, to carry out our plan.”
Her eyes adjusted, only to see who was holding her face. “Gretchen,” she gasped.
“Not quite, my darling… not quite.”
*
Damen lurked in the shadows around the house. Sensing the presence of another vampire inside, he stilled himself. Chances were high that the other vampire could sense him as well, unless he or she was newly changed. More than likely, the vampire inside wasn’t more than a few months old and would be clueless to his presence. Since the fiasco of Remy killing Nicas, they hadn’t heard from any other vampires who had been unaffected.
Sneaking closer to the house, he made one quick jump and landed with a soft thud on the roof. He crouched down and listened to the voice inside.
“She’s not here. Doesn’t look like she’s been back… I swear, she never came out. The only one I saw come out was his progeny… Maybe he’s taken her back to Willow Creek… Yeah… I’ll go and let you know what I find…”
The vampire left the house and got into a car parked nearby. Damen instantly recognized him as Brendon, the same one who had been locked up for hurting Sabine… the same one who’d disappeared when Bastian did.
Damen pulled his phone out of his pocket and texted Remy before jumping down to follow Brendon on his Harley.
Brendon was here. He’s on his way to Willow Creek. He must be working with Gretchen and Bastian.
A few moments later, a reply came through.
Don’t engage him just yet. Follow him and see if he meets up with anyone. He’s the best way for us to find out where they’ve taken Mary. I’ll deal with him once he gets here.
Damen followed behind, careful to stay far enough back so he wouldn’t be detected. As he neared the end of the street, the car Brendon drove pulled off into an empty parking space. Damen slowed the bike and contemplated what to do. If he kept going, he might lose sight of him, but if he stopped now, Brendon might notice him. Thinking quickly, he turned the bike down a side street where he could cut up an alley and get a glimpse of what Brendon was up to.
As he turned the bike, it halted suddenly, throwing him several feet before landing hard on his back. Tremendous pressure built in his head as his bones felt like they were breaking over and over again, rendering him paralyzed by pain. His sight went blurry, and he could hear nothing but a loud whooshing of air through his ears. A soft, sweet voice penetrated the noise.
“Damen… How easily we were able to lure you out. I’m sorry to have to hurt you like that, but Remy needs to know that he won’t find us until we are ready to be found. It’s only a matter of time before we have her. He might as well give her up now. Tell him I said hello, will you?”
Damen blinked, clearing his vision just long enough to see Gretchen, with her blonde hair pulled back high on her head, sauntering away with Mary by her side. His skull cracked one last time as he lost consciousness.
*
Sabine lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. It had only been a f
ew hours since she’d read Remy’s letter, but she felt like she’d been without him for weeks. Just when she thought maybe she had really gotten him back, he was gone again.
I understand, but it still sucks. He’s right, though. It probably is for the best. And, as usual, my mere existence puts me in danger because of my connection to him. It’s pretty fucking sad that I’m finally home, yet I can’t even enjoy it. Maybe I should become a vampire, so I won’t always be so vulnerable. Not sure I can get on board with the whole blood diet thing, though. Yuck.
She sat up just in time to see the air distort in the corner of the room. Sabine stiffened in anticipation. If Remy was appearing to her already, then Nicas was back, and as much as she wanted to see him, she didn’t want him under that circumstance.
A form began to appear, but it wasn’t Remy. The telltale curves of a woman moved from the corner into the light.
“How are you, Sabine?”
“Gretchen, what are you doing here? I’ve missed you! I’ve wanted to talk to you about some things.” She knew Gretchen had taken Mary, but if she played dumb, maybe she could get some information out of her before help came. Someone had to be just outside and within earshot. Thankfully, the bracelet Mary had given her to shield her thoughts was still firmly around her wrist. Otherwise, playing dumb wouldn’t have been so easy.
“Oh, and what would those things be?” She looked at Sabine coolly.
“The way I acted the day I thought Remy died. I shouldn’t have been such a bitch to you.”
“Water under the bridge.” Gretchen waved her hand and looked around the room. “I don’t even really remember it, to tell you the truth.”
“Glad that’s cleared up, but why are you here?”
Gretchen smirked. “Hmm… you’re leverage, of course. At least that’s how he will see it, not knowing that the magic within you is the real reason we need you.”
Awakening (Willow Creek Vampires Series Book 3) Page 10