by J. S. Scott
“Anna…” Kane said my name huskily, then went silent as I turned my back on him and walked up the snowy walkway and up the steps.
I used the old key to open the door, and let myself into a place I hadn’t had the courage to enter since my parents died. It was way past time I cleaned the house out and accepted my fate. But first, I was going to cherish every memory.
I didn’t look back as I closed the door behind me, determined to shut out the entire world so I could finally truly grieve.
CHAPTER 25
Kane
I watched her walk away from me without even a glance over her shoulder or a simple goodbye—and it was fucking killing me. I desperately wanted to tell her how I felt about her, wanted to let her know that she’d been the only woman to capture my heart and that our short time together was something I’d always cherish.
But I also vowed to come back for her. Someday. When I knew I could keep her safe and out of harm’s way.
And now was not the time.
It was why I had to push her away, even though she meant everything to me. Because I knew damn well what she was like. She’d want to be right by my side, fighting to clear my name and keep me safe, even if she ended up putting her own life on the line.
I climbed back into the SUV, unable to hold back a ragged sigh, my mood somber and fucking miserable.
“It had to be done, Kane.” Gavin’s voice was filled with both resignation and regret on my behalf. And he was right. There was no option but to force Anna to hate me so she’d walk away to safety, instead of putting herself in the line of fire.
“It doesn’t make it any easier.” I pulled back out onto the road with a final glance at the small cabin, my eyes immediately scanning the windows for a final glimpse of Anna. Except that she wasn’t there.
She was gone…
My heart ached with a loss I’d never before experienced, though I did my best to distract myself with the problem at hand, knowing that the faster I could clear my name and put Petrov behind bars, the sooner I’d be able to come back to Anna.
But only if it was safe—and that, right now, felt like a huge if that may not ever happen.
Luckily, Gavin was happy to distract me since he knew just how much I was hurting. And halfway through our ride to civilization, his phone buzzed with an incoming email that he eagerly read. “It’s Johnson—my contact at the FBI. He said he’ll definitely be able to help. Looks like they’ve been trying to take down Petrov and his crew for some time now, but Petrov had covered his tracks well enough that they couldn’t figure out which direction to look, in order to obtain a warrant. The evidence we sent them gives the Feds the direction they need.”
“Fucking hell…that’s good news.” Though I knew we were still a long way off from having this nightmare over with, it felt like I could finally breathe just a little easier, even if it did little to lessen the painful ache in my heart.
“They’ll still need to convince the judge to issue the warrant, but he’s sounding hopeful.” Gavin scrolled through the rest of the email, then set his phone down in the console. “If they can find the evidence themselves, you’ll be off the hook for that murder.”
“Except that if they can’t nail Petrov for it, it’ll only be a matter of time before he comes after us again.” The truth of the matter was that we might not ever be safe if the Feds weren’t able to dismantle Petrov’s entire group.
“Unless they come across enough evidence to nail every single one of them to the wall—and I have no doubt once they get their hands on a warrant, it’ll open the floodgates.” Gavin put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “I know you’re thinking of Anna—but I swear, if this all goes to plan, she’ll be back in your arms before you know it.”
“If she ever forgives me.”
I was forced to lay low for the next few months as the Feds not only cleared me of any and all murder charges, but managed to find a world of evidence for a multitude of crimes that would not only send Petrov away for life, but would also send away every one of his associates.
Gavin and I were finally safe and in the clear.
My mind drifted to Anna—just like it did every second of every day, her loss felt no less keenly with the passage of time.
I couldn’t go back to her yet. Not until I could give her the one thing she truly deserved.
Closure.
It took another month, but with no expense spared and the snow up at the higher elevations finally melting as the spring temperatures increased, my team and I were finally able to complete the mission we’d set out on months earlier.
And that meant one thing.
I could finally go to Anna.
I didn’t know how she’d feel about seeing me again, but at the very least, I might finally be able to give her some comfort so she could bury her parents, and start to truly heal.
I sat parked in the far corner of the diner parking lot, trying to steady my racing heart as I caught glimpses of her working behind the counter, wishing I’d have parked closer. Not that it mattered as I pushed away my sense of impending doom, desperate to see her once more.
As I walked into the diner, watching her work the grill with her back to me, I was left fighting off a sense of déjà vu as I recalled the first time I’d laid eyes on her.
She was still so fucking gorgeous, my body immediately reacting to seeing her again, my heart hammering away against my rib cage and a tension that had my body stiff.
And then she turned around, her eyes meeting mine as she stopped short and nearly dropped the plate she was carrying, her eyes wide and already brimming with tears.
“Anna…”
CHAPTER 26
Anna
I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move as I stood as still as a statue, blinking my eyes twice to see if that would clear my hallucination of seeing Kane standing in the diner, saying my name.
No! No! He can’t be here.
My denial didn’t last long. The moment he’d said my name, I knew he was really here, but I couldn’t figure out why.
Sadness overwhelmed me, and every bit of pain I’d experienced over the last several months all bubbled up inside me, threatening to consume me as tears leaked from my startled eyes. “Kane?”
“Anna, I know you hate me, but hear me out please,” he begged as he moved forward and into the kitchen, paying my customers no mind.
His expression was tormented, but I couldn’t fall for his bullshit. I refused to. I didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to think about him anymore. His rejection was still too raw.
“Leave,” I requested flatly. “I don’t want to listen to anything you have to say. And I have nothing to say to you. Whatever there was to say, was said months ago and in the damn bunker.” I moved woodenly toward my only table of customers in the diner, a couple who were just passing through.
I delivered their plate and asked if I could get them anything else.
Pinpricks of awareness rippled down my neck, and I could feel that Kane was still here, still watching my every move.
I chatted with the couple as long as possible to kill time, trying to get my head straight. Finally, when I couldn’t delay it any longer, I swung around to return to the kitchen, but Kane reached out and wrapped a strong hand around my bicep the minute I was within reaching distance. He took the tray from my hand and dropped it on the counter.
“You will listen to me, Anna. Because I’m not leaving until I’ve said my piece, and told you why I had to leave. Then if you want to push me out of your life, I’ll go.”
I shrugged my arm free of his grip and faced him. “It’s been a while, but if I remember properly, you pushed me away. I would have done anything to help you, and you threw my concern back in my face. Not that it fucking matters. I get it…you’re not a relationship kind of guy. You wanted to be entertained while you were holed up at
the cabin and I was the only woman available. Let’s just leave it that way. We both wanted what happened.”
Jesus! I wanted to punch him for all the hurt and heartache he’d caused me, but that would only let him know that he was ripping my heart from my chest. Not only had he caused me to worry, but he’d destroyed my trust in him. I wanted him to experience the same emotional pain I’d been forced to live with for months.
It’d been months since I last saw him, and I’d finally started to piece my life back together, knowing I couldn’t continue the way I had been. But now? He just had to rip all my wounds open once again, and the last thing I needed was him taunting me when I was still trying to get over him.
“That’s where you’d be mistaken, Anna. Because I’d like nothing more than to be in a serious and committed relationship,” he answered huskily as he took my arm again and pulled me further into the kitchen so my customers wouldn’t be listening to our conversation. “As long as that relationship is with you, Cupcake. Fuck, I’ve missed you. And I swear, the last thing I wanted to do is send you away, but I fucking had to do it. I had no choice—and you damn well know it, even if you don’t want to admit it.”
I pulled out of his grip again and searched his face with a skepticism I couldn’t control. He looked tormented, but otherwise, he appeared to be more attractive than I’d ever seen him. His hair was freshly cut—obviously by a professional this time—and he was clean shaven. In jeans and a casual shirt, he looked good enough to eat, and it really pissed me off.
“What do you want, Kane?” I asked tightly, clenching my hands into fists at my side to keep from losing it entirely and putting myself at his mercy.
I’d been feeling dead inside until Kane walked through that door. And now? I wanted Kane to make me feel alive again. But that…that would be a huge mistake, and I refused to let him break my heart and walk out on me again.
“I thought that was fairly obvious, Anna. I want you.”
“I’m not for sale,” I declared through my clenched teeth.
“I’m not offering money this time. I’m offering you my goddamn heart.” He stepped so close I could feel his breath on my face, which made me start to shake. “Hell, I know I was an asshole, but now that I’ve cleared myself of all criminal charges, and most of my enemies are locked up, I’m here offering myself to you unconditionally. I want you, Anna. I think I have since the first time I saw you in this diner months ago.”
“You wanted me so much that you tried to pay me off to get rid of me?” I asked, still angry.
“Fuck, Anna! You were crazy enough to risk your own life for me, and I couldn’t let that happen. It’d fucking break me if something happened to you.”
I searched his face as he drew near, needing to see the truth in his eyes. I saw it, but I was still afraid. “So you pushed me away intentionally by hurting me?”
“I knew you wouldn’t leave otherwise. So…yeah. I hurt you to keep you safe, to keep you as far away from me and any danger I might face—and I hated myself for hurting you,” he answered, his flashing hazel eyes meeting mine. “But you have my word…I won’t lie to you anymore, Anna.”
I put my hands on my hips, still not happy that he’d used a ruse to get me out of harm’s way. “I was fucking miserable, Kane. Did you know that? You broke my heart.”
“Then let me be the one to put it back together again. Please,” he said in a desperate voice.
He pulled me into his big, solid body so quickly that I didn’t have time to protest, backing me up against the prep counter, making my pulse hammer with the knowledge that there was no escaping him. Cupping my face in his hands, he lowered his head to mine in the hottest kiss he’d ever bestowed on me.
I didn’t fight or push him away. God help me, I couldn’t. I was as hungry for him as he was for me right now. He devoured me like a hungry man who hadn’t eaten in months. With my heart racing, and my breath sucked from my lungs in shock, I returned his kiss, letting myself get lost in a fantastical moment that I’d never imagined would happen.
“I love you, Anna,” he told me in a voice hoarse with emotion. He’d pulled his mouth from mine and started heating my blood even more by placing delicate kisses on my face and neck. “Marry me. Put me out of my misery.”
I hesitated, knowing that I’d probably have to move to Seattle to be with him. Yet I did want to marry him. I’d spent a few months trying to deny a love for this man that wouldn’t die, even though he’d hurt me trying to protect me. “I love you, Kane. I’m not going to pretend anymore that I don’t. But I’m not happy about the way you hurt me.”
“I know, baby. I’ll make it up to you. I promise. I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy.”
Putting myself in his position, I wasn’t so sure that I wouldn’t have done everything I could to make sure he was safe. In fact, I’d been trying to be involved before he’d pushed me away. I leaned back and looked into his eyes, and I could see my future. I loved Kane more than I could have ever imagined loving a man.
But I still had a past to resolve before I could ever be truly happy.
I answered him as honestly as possible. “I’ve started searching for my parents, Kane. With my help, I think a search team might be able to locate them. Now that I’m able to go back to the mountains again, I can show them approximately where my parents might have been when the avalanche started.”
“Sweetheart, I’ve already found them. Both of them. We recovered their bodies and they’re with the county coroner’s office. It was my first priority after I got myself cleared. I wanted to give you something, and even though it’s a sad thing, I knew you had to find your parents.”
CHAPTER 27
Anna
I tilted my head back further, my face, no doubt, registering my surprise.
“What do you mean?” My heart tripped as I examined the solemn look on his face. Was it possible he’d actually found the bodies of my mom and dad so they could finally be put to rest?
“I hired my own team as soon as it got warm enough to go search,” he explained. “It took them over a week to find them, and I had a very big team of experts looking.”
He gave me the coordinates of where they’d been found, and I was surprised to learn how close they’d actually been to where I’d been trapped. I was surprised that I hadn’t run into his team when I’d been searching myself, but they’d been there at daybreak, and I was mostly looking on my own at odd hours when I was able to close down the diner due to lack of business. “If I’d just been able to give the police more information last year—”
“Don’t, Anna,” he pleaded as he placed a finger to my lips. “None of this was your fault. Your parents wouldn’t have wanted you to live in guilt like this. You’ve already been through hell.”
I thought about how much my parents had loved me, and I knew he was right. “I know.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him tenderly on the mouth, more grateful than I could express that he’d found my parents’ bodies. It was one part of my life where I could get some closure. “I’d like to have a memorial service, just a small one so I can properly say goodbye to them.”
“Done,” Kane answered without hesitation. He hesitated before asking, “Then will you consider marrying me?”
“I’ve already considered it,” I mused, loving his impatience to have me as his partner and wife.
“For fuck’s sake, then tell me what you’re thinking. I’m going to lose my mind if you don’t,” he growled, possessively pulling my body closer to him.
I put my head on his chest and listened to the rapid rhythm of his heartbeat. “I can see you’re going to make an ornery husband. Luckily, I think I can handle you.”
His arms flexed as his grip grew tighter around my body. “You’re the only one who can,” he rasped, holding on to me like he never wanted to let go. “Is that a ‘yes’ you’re giving me the
n?”
“I suppose so. You’ve caused me enough grief. I think it’s about time you go about the business of making me happy.” I was already so elated that he really loved me that tears of joy started leaking from my eyes.
I heard the bell ding up front, and I knew my customers were ready to go. Reluctantly, I slipped out of Kane’s arms and swiped at the tears on my cheeks, took care of the customers, then locked the front door and shut off the overhead lights.
When I turned to hurry back to Kane, he was already out of the kitchen, standing right behind me.
I covered my mouth and started to cry again as he opened a small, red velvet box, nearly blinding me with the glare of an enormous diamond. “Oh, my God. It’s beautiful.” I reached out and touched the ring gingerly.
“It’s not going to bite you, Cupcake,” Kane said, sounding amused and happy at the same time.
He pulled the ring from the box and chucked it carelessly on the table before slipping the ring onto my finger. “It’s…it’s…big,” I told him as I gaped at the enormous gem.
“It’s the only time I plan on getting married,” he said simply, bringing my hand to his face and kissing the ring tenderly. “I love you so much, Anna.”
A happy sigh escaped my lips before Kane covered them with a kiss so passionate that I had to touch him. When he started nipping at the delicate skin on my neck, I started to whimper. “Show me,” I pleaded, reaching under his shirt so I could touch his fiery skin. “Please.”
“Not here,” Kane protested.
“Here. Now.” More than anything, I needed to feel him inside me. I held on tight to his shoulders and hopped up, wrapping my legs around his waist. I trusted him to catch me, and he didn’t disappoint me as his hands automatically gripped my ass.
“Christ, Anna. It’s been so fucking long,” he growled.
I speared my hands into his hair, tilted his head and put my lips to his ear. “Then fuck me,” I whispered suggestively.