by Mav Skye
Chloe imagined her mother had been quite beautiful in her younger years. At seventy years old, people often thought she was Chloe’s grandmother. She was tired a lot these days and didn’t sleep well at night. Chloe noticed she’d been acting peculiar the last few months, like the red lipstick she was wearing now. She couldn’t remember her mother ever wearing lipstick—or any other makeup for that matter.
Chloe frowned and glanced around her mother’s room, looking for anything that might be out of place or provide a clue to the strange behavior. Mama Nola’s dresser had the same white doily on it that had been there since Chloe was little. Two silver candlesticks sat on either side of the dresser, a dreamcatcher her mother had made as a child hung on the wall between the candlesticks. To the left was a picture of a small Native American girl in full head dress gazing into the fire where a Horned Serpent danced. Everything looked in order until Chloe spotted her own jewelry box on the nightstand beside Mama Nola’s bed. It was brick red with a line of yellow ribbons separated by tiny elephants holding trumpets. Chloe picked it up and carried it out of the room, closing the door behind her.
She leaned against the door, running her finger over the top of the box. She hadn’t opened it in months, but she could see everything perfectly in her mind’s eye. When one opened it, a little clown in black and white checkers sprung up inside the lid with a mirror behind it. It frowned and held his palms up. When one wound up the key in the back, it played circus music and the clown’s frown would turn into a smile, and it would clap. Mama Nola had given it to Chloe when she was young. She had loved to play the music and watch the clown smile and clap, that is, until the clown with the hatchet had appeared, since then she’d hidden it in the darkest corners of her closet. How did it get into Mama Nola’s room? “Hmm…”
She walked into the living room where Joey had once again settled on the couch. She sat down beside him. Their knees touched, and he bobbed his against hers playfully. “Everything okay?”
Chloe shrugged. “She’s been weird.”
He said, “All moms are weird.”
“Like you’d know,” Chloe said this a little too sharply and immediately regretted it.
An awkward silence fell between them. Chloe opened her mouth to apologize, but he was already talking.
“I may not have a mom. I mean, I do have a mom, but she left—” He paused, thinking about this.
Quiet.
“I know.” Chloe couldn’t think of anything else to say to that. She knew his mom had left him with his grandpa when he was a baby. She also knew that his grandpa—or Pops as Joey had taken to calling him—spent his time drinking, playing poker with his friends down at the community center, and fishing. He kept cereal in the cupboard and cold beer in the fridge, but not much else.
There was more about his grandpa, things that Joey didn’t like to talk to anyone about, but she knew. Chloe knew that when Pops started drinking he got mean, physically mean. Growing up, Joey often had bruises the size of Texas on his lower back and thighs. She knew that he’d been to the hospital a handful of times for broken limbs. Pops claimed he was always falling out of trees, which was a blatant lie. Chloe had fallen out of trees multiple times, but Joey never did. He had the steady gait and balance of a stunt man. Mama Nola had called CPS, but his grandpa played the poor me card well, and having far worse cases to deal with on a regular basis, the caseworker often left believing his lies. Pops quit drinking for quite some time after that, but started up again a year or two ago. Joey kept tight-lipped these days, and Chloe figured with Joey being older now, that his grandpa had backed off some.
He said, “But…my Pops is weird. Maybe not mom weird, but definitely grandpa weird. What’s that?”
“My jewelry box.”
Their elbows bumped together when he pointed to the metal key in the back. “May I?”
Chloe glanced up to his freckled face and dark teal eyes. His copper hair parted to the left and fell lazily to the side. She wanted to tell him no, that she didn’t want to listen to the music or watch the little clown clap, not after what happened in the woods earlier.
But, she felt bad about what she’d said, and the way he was looking at her gave her butterflies in her stomach. She was suddenly aware of their arms and knees touching. “Sure.”
He wound it up while it still sat on Chloe’s lap. The circus music began to play, raising goosebumps on Chloe’s arms. She thought of Mr. Jingles’ face popping out from behind the tree earlier. She hadn’t seen him in months. She desperately wanted to talk to someone about it, to tell Joey, but if she told Joey, he’d worry. He might even tell Mama Nola, and if he told her, she would force Chloe to go back on the meds.
She’d been hoping she’d outgrown her imaginary friend. Now, she’d have to hunt for her Fear Diary and write a new entry. The doctor had encouraged her to keep the diary. He stressed that eventually, her logical mind would tell her imagination that it was child’s play, and the clown friend would go away. There were three things that Chloe both knew and feared: One, Mr. Jingles was not her friend. Two, she feared the clown would never go away. And three, which was the worst, that no one believed her.
Joey believed in her, but he’d never seen Mr. Jingles himself. He had argued with Mama Nola and the doctor when they decided to put Chloe on the meds. The meds had turned Chloe into a space cadet. She had forgotten how to smile or laugh that year. It did nothing to make the clown go away. Joey knew this, not because Chloe had told him, but somehow he had known, and he kept it from Mama Nola and the doctor. Chloe lied and told them the clown was gone, and that is when they pulled her off the meds and gave her a diary to write in.
So she suffered quietly. She had Mama Nola and Joey, and yet the two people closest to her didn’t believe her. She never told anyone else, not even Kelly. She didn’t want her best friend to think she was crazy. And if it ever got out to Donny Hanks that she saw clowns, that she was crazy, Chloe would just die. D-i-e with a capital D.
Joey said, “I have to admit that I’ve done this a few times.”
“Huh?” This distracted Chloe from her thoughts, and she turned to him. “You’ve touched my jewelry box?”
“Yeah, I didn’t think you’d mind. Not like I’m going to steal anything.” Which was true, she didn’t own much jewelry. Just a mood ring, a cheap pair of Godzilla stud earrings—which she always wore and a few plastic bracelets.
He brushed the hair away from her face and touched her earlobe. “Except maybe those, but you never leave Godzilla behind.” Joey had bought them for a dime at a garage sale and given them to Chloe for her tenth birthday.
“He is the king,” she said.
Joey’s hand fell away. “No, Elvis is the king.”
Chloe raised her eyebrows. “Of monsters?”
He nodded. “Yes. Elvis is the king of rock n’ roll and monsters.”
“He wouldn’t be much of a match for Mothra.”
Joey laughed. “I guess you haven’t seen the man croon and swivel his hips.”
“My bet is on Godzilla.”
“It’s a free country.”
“No shit, Sherlock.” Chloe giggled, which she tended to do on the rare occasion when she swore.
“It’s Joey. Get it right, smart ass.”
Chloe laughed again. “O-han-zzzzee.”
“Oh my God, Godzilla has zapped the Cherokee princess’s brains once more.”
“Shut up. That’s the name Mama Nola gave you.”
He said, “We were talking about your lack of brains.”
“In your dreams.”
His voice softened. “Always in my dreams.”
Their eyes met, and then Chloe averted her gaze as she once more became aware of his arm pressing against hers. As the circus music ended, she closed the box and took it from him. “I guess I don’t mind. Did you bring it to Mama Nola’s room when I wasn’t here?”
“What are you talking about? I was at school today. You saw me at lunch.”
Chloe flushed red at that. She’d seen him but had pretended she didn’t. Kelly had told Chloe that Donny Hanks had asked her if Chloe would sit with him and Weasel and the other football players and cheerleaders. Chloe had arrived late, and Kara Leigh had manipulated where everyone sat so that the only seat available was at the other end of the table, furthest away from Donny.
Chloe said, “I don’t know what you are—”
Joey held her gaze with his gentle teal eyes, not bothering to mask the hurt. “I knew you were pretending you didn’t see me, but I know you did.”
Chloe was struck by guilt. Why did she treat him that way? He had been her best friend, and now she was compelled to act as if she didn’t even know he was alive. “I’m sorry I did that, Joey. Things have been…”
“Weird?”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
Joey leaned back on the couch and touched Chloe’s hair, surprising her. He looped it around his forefinger. “Nah, I get it. I’m not in the in-crowd. You are.”
She turned and gave him a look. “Give me a break. Everyone likes you, especially the in-crowd.”
“I might be liked, but that’s all superficial. I make them laugh. You’re my only true friend.”
“I wish I could make them laugh.”
“You’re too sassy for that.”
She frowned at him, and he held up his hands. “Okay, okay. All I’m trying to say is…you’re getting there. You’ll be in the oh-my-God-popular crowd soon enough.”
“I don’t know if I want to be.”
He tugged on her hair, and she fell back beside him, holding on to her jewelry box. Suddenly, it felt like old times and she was grateful he was there. He said, “We all have decisions to make, like what we want to do with the rest of our lives, who we want to be and who we want to be with...”
His face was close to hers now; she could feel the warmth of his breath on her cheek. He breathed, “Do you know what I’m talking about, Ayita Sevenstars?”
She nodded and blushed again. Only her mother and Joey called her by her real name. She chose the name Chloe when she went into Junior High. She hadn’t wanted to be called Ayita anymore. When others tried to pronounce her name, it sounded like a squirrel sneezing. She kept her last name, though, enjoying the whimsical nature of it. When Joey said her name it sounded like smooth molasses pouring from a jar, and somehow he knew the effect it had on her, so he saved it for moments when she was vulnerable.
Like now.
He whispered her name again, his lips grazed her cheek, and Chloe leaned into him, then startled as Mama Nola’s door whined open.
Chloe jumped to her feet, clutching her jewelry box, and Joey sank back into the couch, folding his hands behind his head with a lopsided grin.
She rolled her eyes at him. He shrugged and held out his hands, innocent as a dove.
They both listened to her mother slowly walk down the hall with her cane.
The thought that Joey must have moved her jewelry box nagged at her. It was in her room this morning. “But you get out a period earlier than I do.”
“Huh,” he replied. He wasn’t agreeing or disagreeing with her. Why not just say yes or no? She supposed the real question wasn’t whether he left school early or not, besides it didn’t matter now that school was out, but she did wonder what her jewelry box was doing in her mother’s room. She’d have to ask Mama Nola after Joey went home.
Joey stood when the old woman reached the end of the hall. “Otahitsu, Etsi?”
Her face brightened when she saw them both. “Ostu, Ohanzee! Ostu.”
He made eyes at Chloe as her mother giggled and pulled Joey in for a hug. Chloe rolled her eyes and mouthed the words. Show off.
Joey wiggled his eyebrows at her back.
He had learned bits and pieces of the Native American language along with Chloe. Etsi meant mother. Ostu translated into the word good. And Ohanzee meant shadow. It’s what Mama Nola had nicknamed him from the time they started playing together. Chloe had no idea why she called him that, but Mama Nola always seemed to have her reasoning about the things she said and did, much like Joey.
Her mother’s real first name was Inola, Cherokee for Black Fox, but no one ever called her that except Joey. Chloe wondered if she ever missed hearing her full name. Joey was the only one who’d ever called her Inola. It was like a secret between them, and he only used it when he wanted something from her like cookies or an invitation for dinner. Chloe thought of his lips grazing her cheek earlier and then shoved the thought far away from her mind. When she glanced up, Joey was staring at her with that same dumb grin on his face. He knew what she was thinking. He always knew what she was thinking.
Mama Nola grabbed Chloe’s arm. “Little Ayita, help me to the table.”
Chloe helped her mother hobble along.
Mama Nola pointed her cane at Joey. “Ohanzee, I have made you and Ayita cookies. They are in the cookie jar. Help yourself.”
“Yes, ma’am!” He raced to the kitchen as Chloe helped her mother sit in a wooden dining chair, taking care to rest Mama Nola’s cane against the table beside her, so it was available if she wanted to get up. Then, Chloe went into the kitchen, filled the teapot with water and put it on the stove to boil. When she came back to the dining room, Joey had already gone to town, munching on the chocolate chip cookies.
She sat down next to him. “Save some for me, will you?”
He said, “Mmmm… you make the best cookies, Mama Nola.”
Mama Nola clapped her hands and giggled.
Chloe picked one up and took a tiny, hesitant bite.
It was awful.
Her mother made the most terrible cookies in all of Washington state. How Joey managed to eat them, she’d no clue. Chloe suspected that they tasted as awful to him as they did to her, but he enjoyed making Mama Nola happy and annoying Chloe. She couldn’t help the contortion of her face as she swallowed.
“Don’t you like them?” asked Mama Nola, concerned.
“Yeah,” said Joey, cookie crumbles falling out of his mouth as he talked. “Don’t you like them?” He turned to Chloe; his face was serious, but his eyes were gleaming with amusement. Her mother took great pride in her cookie recipe. Chloe could never bring herself to tell the truth and hurt her Etsi’s feelings.
Chloe smiled at Mama Nola, the grin tightening as she looked at Joey. “They’re great. I’m just not hungry.”
Joey kicked her ankle under the table, and Chloe said, “But, I think I’ll take another one anyway to finish when I’m done with this one.”
She glared at Joey, and he shook his head and looked away.
Mama Nola picked up a cookie and brought it to her lips, then made a face and put it back down. She smiled at Joey and Chloe and said, “I’ll have it with my tea.”
Joey laughed. “Everything tastes better with tea. Right, Ayita?”
Mama Nola looked at Chloe expectantly.
Chloe forced a grin once more. “Right.”
The teapot whistled, and Chloe was glad to get up from her seat. As she went about collecting mugs, and preparing the tea, Joey said, “Ayita tells me she found her jewelry box in your room earlier.”
“Oh?” Mama Nola picked up her cookie, nibbled it and set it back down. She then wiped crumbs from her lips, smearing red lipstick across her cheek. It looked like blood.
Chloe brought her tea. “And you’re wearing red lipstick, Etsi.”
“I am?” The elderly woman brought her hand to her mouth, smudged her finger against it and looked at the deep crimson, confused. “Why, I don’t remember putting it on.”
She glanced at Chloe, “And I don’t know how your jewelry box got into my room. You must have put it there and forgotten.”
Chloe set a mug in front of Joey and sat down with a mug of her own. “No, Etsi. It was in my room this morning before I went to school.” She soaked her cookie in the tea and went in for a bite.
Mama Nola went to sip her tea, then paused, “Oh, that’s right, y
ou went to school, and I went to the circus.”
Chloe hesitated too long and the wet part of her cookie fell into her tea. “The circus?”
“Uh huh. Joey went with me, didn’t you, my Ohanzee?”
Both women turned to Joey who had just crammed another cookie in his mouth. He tried to shut his mouth as he chewed, but cookie crumbles fell out. His eyes flit from Chloe to her mother, back and forth, he swallowed and said, “I have no idea what she’s talking about.” Then he crammed in another cookie.
Chloe tilted her head and watched him. He’d always been able to read her, but she wasn’t as good at reading him. He knew something, but she decided to let it go. It was summer break, and she’d be able to keep a better eye on her mother.
“It was just a dream, Etsi.” She worried about Mama Nola’s mind, but wasn’t it only natural for an old woman to forget, to be confused? She wished Mama Nola was still in contact with her much younger sister, Aunt Tayanita. She was a lawyer in California. She and Mama Nola had been in quite a few spats in the past, one of them about Chloe. She had been too young at the time to know what they argued about, but she did know that her Aunt Tayanita wanted to take her away from Mama Nola.
“No, it wasn’t a dream.” Mama Nola clasped her hands together. “I went to the circus and Joey came with me. We danced and danced, my Ohanzee and I.”
Chloe bit her lip and looked over at Joey. He gave her a worried look back. He shook his head, and she knew what he meant by that. Let her have her tea and circus.
Even as she thought these things, the jewelry box circus music played in her mind, and she thought about the clown with the hatchet in the woods. Chloe knew one thing for sure: In addition to babysitting, sunbathing, and swimming this summer, she was going to have to prove that Mr. Jingles wasn’t pretend—that he was real. She had to prove to herself that she wasn’t crazy. If she couldn’t take care of herself, how in the world was she going to take care of her mother?
Mama Nola and Joey continued to chat. And as they did, Chloe thought that if she could do that one thing, if she could burst the wicked curse, then they’d all be just fine and most importantly, together.