“Mrs. Porter?” he asked, scanning the room. A young woman with strawberry blonde curls stood, her arms clutched around herself tightly.
Though they were on the other side of the room, Layla could feel the woman’s desperation. She clutched her fingers into Ben’s arm as everyone waited.
“Would you like to go to a conference room for an update?” the doctor asked, gesturing toward a hallway.
“No,” the woman shook her head adamantly. “They’re all family, I want them to hear, too.”
The woman’s eyes were wild with worry, and Layla was glad when an older woman stepped up and reached an arm around her shoulders.
“He’s out of surgery,” the doctor said. “It went very well.” Gasps sounded around the room and shoulders slumped forward with relief.
“Is he going to live?” the woman implored, her hand shaking as she raised it to brush her hair from her face.
“I think the chance of survival is very high at this point. We don’t know yet how much damage the bullet did, but we removed it and he’s stable.”
Ben’s muscles relaxed, and Layla smoothed her fingers over the spot on his bicep she’d dug her nails into.
“Okay,” the woman said. “So, this sounds like good news?”
“It is. When he wakes up tomorrow, we’ll be able to asses him further.”
“Can I see him? I want to stay in there with him.” She looked young and fragile, still on the verge of tears.
The doctor nodded and started to lead the way.
“Thanks, you guys,” the woman said to the large crowd. “Thanks for being here.”
“We love you, Michelle,” a tall, older man said. “We’re all praying for you guys. You tell us what you need, okay?”
She nodded and followed the doctor. The fog of silence in the room lifted as people stood, some hugging or clapping each other on the back.
Mathers blew out a breath and downed the rest of his coffee, nodding at Ben and Layla as he headed for the elevator.
“You hungry?” Ben asked.
“I guess I never ate,” Layla said, pulling out her phone to check the time. “It’s 10:30.”
“Wanna pick up a pizza on the way home?”
“Home? Mine or yours?”
“Either.”
“Mine then, so Prince doesn’t get too lonely.”
Ben pulled her in close, his arm still around her waist. “I’ll drive. We can get your car tomorrow. And I’ll make the date up to you, okay?”
Layla smiled and nodded, letting Ben lead her by the hand to the stairway.
***
There was a charge in the air on the way home that Layla had never sensed before. She was emotionally exhausted from their argument and her worry over him. The tension and sadness from his fellow officer’s shooting had been the final straw, and part of her wanted to crawl into bed and sleep as soon as they got home.
But another part was stealing glances at Ben from the corner of her eye as he drove. Today she’d seen him bristle with anger, tense with worry and soften in apology. There was a new closeness that filled her with nervous excitement.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“You know I didn’t mean it about us being a bad idea, right? I’m an asshole when I’m pissed.”
She smiled at his serious expression. “I know.”
He reached over to squeeze her thigh and she covered his hand with hers. Neither one of them called to order pizza, and though she was hungry, food wasn’t on Layla’s mind when Ben pulled the car to a stop near her building.
They walked up the stairs to the front door in silence, and she wondered if he was exhausted and planning to go right to sleep. If so, she’d be disappointed.
He tossed his keys on the counter and locked eyes with her as she slid her shoes off. They both moved at the same second, covering the few feet between them. His warm mouth moved from her lips to her jaw line as he bent to pick her up. She pulled his shirt off over his head and let her fingers wander over the warm, defined lines of his back.
Though her body had been eager for sex many times, this was different. Layla moaned against Ben’s lips as he carried her to his bed, needing it this time. Playing wouldn’t be enough.
He wasn’t rough, as he’d been in his car behind the bakery, but he was urgent as he stripped her clothes away. She reclined on the bed and watched him remove the rest of his clothes, his need for her etched on his face.
He climbed into the bed and took one of her feet in his hand, drawing it up to his mouth to kiss her ankle tenderly. She pressed her palms into the bed, taking a deep breath as her body tingled from the sensation.
A surge of warmth and possession passed through her as he lowered his body to hers, meeting her eyes as he balanced himself on his forearms. She leaned up to catch his lower lip in her teeth, scraping it gently. His lips skimmed over hers so lightly it was agonizing.
With a tug on his hair that her fingers were wound in, Layla pushed her hips up toward his. Ben inhaled sharply as his rock hard erection brushed her inner thigh. He was close, so close to where she needed him, and she ran her fingers gently down his spine to encourage him.
His tongue dipped deeper into her mouth and she responded immediately, kissing him with a passion that was rising in her chest desperately.
He broke away, his breath hot on her neck as he tried to gather himself. She parted her thighs wider and arched her back into him.
“Fuck . . .” Ben closed his eyes. “You have to stop.”
“No. I don’t want to stop this time. You know what I want and you want it, too.”
“There are lots of ways I can satisfy you,” he said. When she felt his muscles tense to move off of her, she wrapped her arms around his back, her hands pressing against his shoulders.
“No. I want you tonight, Ben. All of you. Do you want all of me?”
His body stilled on hers and her heart pounded. “You know I do.”
“So take me.”
A low groan sounded through his closed lips. “You wanna get fucked, baby?”
“Yes. Now. Right now.” The throbbing between her legs was more than sexual, and Layla didn’t think she could stand the ache any longer.
He entered her in one deep thrust, and she responded with a vocal gasp. She was practically a re-virgin at this point, and he was huge. How could something hurt and feel so fucking good at the same time?
“Yes,” she managed in a breathy tone. “God, Ben, yes.”
Her voice seemed to incite him, and he thrust himself in her hard, his rhythm starting slow and building. The climax Layla was climbing toward was unlike any she’d ever felt; it spread from her aching midsection all the way down her legs.
His raspy groans threatened to send her over the edge, but she forced herself to hang on, wanting to savor the first time for as long as she could.
Ben lowered his face to hers and kissed her softly. When his hand crept into her hair and pulled hard, she couldn’t fight it any longer. She came with a series of incoherent cries and moans, clinging to his back tightly.
With Ben’s final thrust against her, he shuddered and said her name, his voice strained and full of emotion. Their eyes locked before he moved to the side with a deep exhale.
Layla wanted to say something, but nothing felt like enough. She curled her body around his and the feel of his fingers lightly stroking her back lulled her to sleep.
***
Layla snuck a peek to the other side of her bed, where Ben was snoring lightly, his face half-buried in a pillow. For once, she was the first one awake. She crept from the bed to brush her teeth, multitasking by peeing at the same time.
Images from the night before played through her mind. Sex had never been like that before. Her residual anger from the argument and her deep feelings for Ben had catapulted it into a new realm. Would the connection continue this morning or had it just been there during the sex?
When she looked at the doorway and saw Ben’s tall
frame, she screeched. His sleepy expression became alarmed as he turned around in a flash.
“What? What is it?” He looked around frantically.
Layla jumped off the toilet, her toothbrush stuck between her teeth as she pulled her boxers back up. “You can’t watch me pee! Go away!”
“That’s what you screamed about? Christ, woman, I thought there was someone behind me with an axe!”
She pushed the door closed and spit into the sink. She’d never be ready for that much intimacy. From now on she’d have to remember to close the bathroom door.
Ben was stretched out on the bed when she walked out, his hands behind his head. His arms were enormous, his biceps defined with lines even when he was relaxed.
Climbing onto the foot of the bed, she crawled up to straddle him, his arms encircling her waist.
“You always look so good in the morning,” he said, his eyes meeting hers. She rolled her eyes and grinned.
“With no makeup and my hair everywhere?”
“Yeah. I like being the only one who gets to see you this way.”
“Last night was amazing, Ben. I hope it was worth the wait.”
He gave her a small smile. “Better because of the wait.”
“So . . . neither one of us is in charge now. How will we decide what to do today?”
“I think since neither of us is in a position to make the final call, we’ll have to just stay right here.” His hands slid beneath her shirt and pushed up past her waist.
“I’m good with that. I don’t need to go anywhere til tomorrow. I’ve got dinner at my parents’ house then, you want to come?”
“Ah . . . I’m not really the parent-meeting type.”
Layla raised her brows at him. “What? That doesn’t even make sense. You’ve met my sister, might as well meet Mom and Dad. Cole will be there, you guys can argue about who’s got a bigger dick. It’ll be fun.”
Ben laughed softly. “I’ll let you vouch for the size of my dick with Cole. But I’d like to spend the rest of the weekend with you – until you have to go to your parents’ house.”
A voice in the back of Layla’s head told her to agree. Asking for more than he was offering was going to create another argument. But the words came out before she could stop them.
“I’m confused, Ben. We’ve been seeing each other for a month. What do you want out of this?”
“I like what we’ve got. Why do we have to have the ‘where do you see this going’ talk?”
She moved off of him and shook her head. “I’ll be 27 next week, Ben. I’m not saying I want to get married, but I’m over men who want nothing but a dinner companion and sex partner.”
He sat up quickly, his eyes darkening. “Have I treated you that way?”
“You’re treating me that way right now. We can fuck and go out to eat, but you refuse to meet my parents?”
“How would you even introduce me to them?”
“I don’t know. How would you like me to introduce you?” She glared at him angrily.
“Meeting the parents is a relationship thing.”
“And there it is,” she said bitterly. “This was never about anything but sex for you, was it?”
“I’m no fucking good at the soft stuff, Layla.”
“What, like being decent?”
“I don’t know … maybe. I don’t cuddle and whisper sweet nothings. I’m just not one of those guys.”
She stepped out of the bed and crossed her arms. “Right, I got that. But haven’t you noticed I’m not all that sweet, either?”
“I think you are, in your own way. And you want the same things most women do, only I can’t give you that.”
“What exactly do you think I want that you can’t give me?”
“You want a guy to be your wedding date. To take to your parents’ house. To show you affection. Love. To propose to you on a rooftop somewhere and cry when you accept. That’s not me.”
Layla was surprised when she nodded. She did want all that, and why not?
“You’re done with me, aren’t you?” she asked, blinking back tears. “Just say it, please. I need to hear you say it. We fucked and that was the finale for you, right?”
Ben stepped out of bed and looked down at her. “I don’t want to be done with you,” he said. “I want to keep seeing you, but I’ll never be able to give you what you really want.”
“You want to keep fucking me, you mean?” Hot tears spilled onto her cheeks.
“Layla.” He sighed deeply and looked down at his feet. “No. I don’t know, whatever you want to call it. I like what we’ve got, but it’s not gonna be enough for you.”
“Why the fuck did you do this to me?” she yelled. “Why? I was fine, Ben! I was perfectly fine! I didn’t want to get involved with you. I said no!” Her voice broke and Ben glanced at her but looked away again quickly.
“I don’t--”
She cut him off, anger easier than sadness. “No, you fucking listen! I was fine, and you charmed your way into my life. You got what you wanted – you fucked me. But you ruined me in the process! I don’t know how to go back to what I had before you!”
“I’m sorry,” he said, meeting her eyes solemnly. “I don’t know what else to say. I didn’t plan to fuck you at first, you just made it impossible not to. I do care about you, but I’m trying to be honest … I’ll never be your dream guy. I’m not the kind of guy you can take home to your parents.”
“Why not?” she demanded.
“I’m just not. Trust me.”
“Apparently I haven’t learned shit, because here I am again,” she said, shaking her head. “Just go.”
“Layla—”
“Get out!”
She stared at the wall ahead of her, willing herself not to turn around as he dressed and walked across the living room. The misery she felt when the door closed behind him went beyond tears. She crawled back into bed, numb. The pillow Ben had been laying on was still warm, and she pressed her face into it, hating herself for missing him already.
Chapter 13
When she opened her eyes, Layla looked at the side of the bed where Ben usually slept and dropped her head back to the pillow with a groan. Her sexy cop’s spot was strewn with used tissues and Butterfinger wrappers.
“Ugh.” She pressed her fingers against her temples, a headache brewing. It was Sunday morning, and she’d stayed in bed most of the day before. Her emergency chocolate stash was now wiped out.
She’d cried to a good friend from college over the phone for an hour yesterday, and felt better when Erica agreed with her. Her instinct was to call Emma, but she couldn’t make herself do it. The last thing she needed was her sister’s condescending pity.
Shoving the covers aside, she sat up. Layla Carson did not wallow and cry over a man. It was time to get up and go to the gym to work off the thousands of calories she’d eaten the day before. Hell, she might even meet a hot guy there.
But as soon as her feet hit the floor, she sank bank to the bed with a heavy sigh. She hated women who got this way over a man. The tears were gathering in her swollen, overworked eyes again, so she grabbed her phone and dialed Melanie’s number.
“Hey, girl,” Melanie said.
“Hi.” Layla sniffled.
“What’s wrong, baby girl?”
“Ben.” She could barely get his name out before the tears flowed again.
“Oh,” Melanie said sympathetically. “Did you fight?”
“More than that. It’s over.”
“I’m sorry. Want to talk about it?”
Layla sighed and pulled the covers back over herself. “He didn’t want to meet my parents.”
“And that was a deal breaker for you?”
“Yeah. I’m tired of being the illegitimate ho. I want a normal relationship.”
“I can understand that,” Melanie said. “You said you guys weren’t all that compatible anyway, with you both being the bossy type.”
“Yeah. But it was working
pretty well. I wanted it to go somewhere.”
“Anything I can do?”
“No.” Layla wiped a tissue across her cheeks. “I just wanted to hear a friendly voice.”
“You’ll pull through this. You’re strong.”
“I know, but Ben . . . he gets me. He knows how to handle me. I’ve never met a man who complements me, but he does. When we’re together, I don’t feel like an aggressive bitch. I just feel like a woman who knows what she wants. And when he looks at me . . . I feel beautiful. In more than a tits and ass way.”
“Maybe you guys just need a little time to think things over. I’m sure he’ll call.”
“I’m not so sure, Melanie.”
“Do you need me to come over?”
“No. I’m gonna get up and go work out and get back to my usual routine. But thanks.”
“Okay. Call if you need me.”
They hung up, and Layla crawled back under the covers. She didn’t want Melanie or anyone else to know there was no way she could get out of bed until she absolutely had to.
No matter how she tried to force the images and sensations of Ben from her mind, they returned. Ben in his office, taking her breath away the first time she saw him. His blue eyes sparkling down at her as they danced. The feel of his lips claiming hers, igniting her desire for him. And their last conversation, when he told her he’d never be her dream guy.
For once, she couldn’t argue with him.
***
A wave of relief washed through Ben as he reached for his ringing cell phone on his desk.
“Hey, Bree.”
“Hi, I got your message. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“I can tell by your voice, Ben. Is it Layla?”
He sighed and shook his head. “We’re not seeing each other anymore.”
“What happened?”
“It just didn’t work out.”
Bree made the skeptical ‘hmm’ sound he knew well. “It didn’t work out because you wouldn’t let it?”
“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” He shifted in the chair at his desk.
“You know what it means.”
“Yeah, I guess maybe,” he said with an edge. “There’s nothing wrong with not wanting a serious relationship.”
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