Gideon and Felicia—I’ve run away. I’m out alone in the world. It’s a dangerous place. Who knows what could happen to a kid my age. You should probably come find me.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
IT TOOK THE Fool’s Gold police department less than an hour to set up a command station. While Gideon waited for Ford, Angel and Justice to arrive, Felicia moved her computer into the dining room. The police might technically be in charge, but she was going to be running the show.
She had trouble with her computer. Something was wrong with the keys. They weren’t responding. It took her a second to realize she was shaking so hard, she wasn’t pressing them right. Then she sank down in a chair and covered her face with her hands.
She couldn’t do this, she thought as panic and helplessness wrestled for control. Couldn’t not know, couldn’t feel these feelings. All around her police officers spoke on cell phones and called out instructions, and all she could think was that Carter had run away.
Had she done something wrong? The question repeated itself over and over in her brain. She waited for some logical response or a pithy phrase in Latin. Instead there was only fear and the knowledge that if it would bring him home, she would gladly cut out her own heart and offer it to whomever was interested.
Someone pulled her hands away from her face.
“They’re ten minutes out,” Gideon said, his expression tense and determined as he crouched in front of her.
“Justice and the guys?”
“Yeah. They’re who I’d want on my team.”
He was trying to make her feel better. She wished it could work. “We need to find him.”
He straightened. “We will. I’m going to call in a heat-seeking helicopter.”
Not the technical term for the cameras that were sensitive enough to differentiate various temperatures from hundreds of feet in the air, but she got the point.
“Maybe later. First, we should start by searching the old-fashioned way.” Mayor Marsha walked over to them. She took Felicia’s hand and squeezed her fingers. “I know this is hard for both of you.”
“He ran away,” Felicia said, still trying to believe the words. “He ran away because I did something wrong.”
“While it would be easy for you to blame yourself, I doubt either of you are at fault,” the mayor told her. “Let’s think about this from Carter’s point of view. He’s a thirteen-year-old boy who’s had his life turned upside down. A year ago he lost his mother. Three months ago, his living situation dissolved and he knew he was going to be thrust into the foster care system. He had to find his father, make his way to Fool’s Gold, all on his own, and start over. A lot for anyone, but for a young man of his age?”
Felicia nodded. “You’re right. But he did it. All of it.” She looked at Gideon. “He’s so strong. I think he gets that from you.”
Gideon raised his hands and took a step back. “Do we have to talk about that now?”
“No. You’re right. We have to find Carter.”
“Did he take his bike?” Mayor Marsha asked.
Gideon shook his head. “It’s still in the garage with the other two.”
“Well, then, he’s traveling on foot.” The older woman smiled and released Felicia’s hand. “He can’t have gotten far.”
“Unless he got in a car with someone.” Felicia pressed her hand to her mouth. “What if he’s been abducted?”
“He left a note saying he ran away,” Gideon reminded her. “He wasn’t abducted.”
“I agree.” The older woman drew in a breath. “Boys do love to explore. There are so many trails in the mountains. Caves and old shacks. We have a lot of ground to cover. I’ve already put a call in to Max Thurman. Two of his older service dogs used to work for the DEA. They’re trained to find items based on scent. I wonder if they could help locate Carter.” She sighed. “We really need an organized Search and Rescue operation in this town. I’ll have to put that on the budget agenda for next year. But first things first. Let’s find your boy.”
The front door opened and Justice, Angel and Ford walked in. They were dressed in black and carrying backpacks. Felicia raced to Justice, who pulled her close.
“We’ll find him,” he said. “I promise.”
“I want to believe you,” she admitted. “I’ve never looked for a child. I’m not sure where to start first.”
Patience stepped into the house and hurried to Felicia. “We start by calling his friends and talking to their parents.”
“I’ve done that,” Felicia said, relieved she hadn’t wasted time with a useless task. “I spoke to all of them except for Kent. He didn’t answer his cell. I left a message for him, and none of the other parents have seen Carter.” She bit her lower lip. “Why would he do this?”
“That’s for later,” Patience said firmly, leading her back to the dining room. “First we have to find him.”
Felicia nodded, even as she fought tears.
More police officers arrived, along with a few state troopers. They started to divide everyone up into teams. Police Chief Barns pointed at Felicia. “You’ll be staying here.”
“No way,” Gideon said, before Felicia could say anything. “She’s coming with me. She’s as capable as anyone here, and she knows Carter the best.”
“Thank you,” she told him.
He put his arm around her shoulders. “I know you’re scared. I’m scared, too. When we find him, I’m locking him in a shed until he’s eighteen.”
She managed a slight smile. “I wish we could.”
Gideon’s jaw clenched. “Damn kid. Fine. I’ll admit the shed is a little extreme, but he’s going to be grounded or something. This is irresponsible.”
“I know. That’s what confuses me. He’s mature most of the time. I wish I understood what was going on.”
The front door flew open, and Kent Hendrix stormed in. “Where is he? Where’s my son?”
Felicia’s stomach churned harder and faster. “He’s not at home?”
“He left me a note that he was staying here tonight. Reese’s been over here a couple of times, so I didn’t think anything of it. Until I got your message.”
Ford crossed to his brother. “Reese is missing, too?”
Police Chief Barns groaned. “All right, people,” she said to her team. “We’re looking for two boys and they could be anywhere.”
* * *
“THEY’RE ON THE move,” Carter said, watching the screen on his laptop. It had taken him some doing, but he’d managed to tap into the GPS on Felicia’s cell phone a few days before and could now track her.
They were stretched out in sleeping bags in the caves on the Castle Ranch. They had lanterns, a cooler, an extra battery for the laptop and a portable Wi-Fi hot spot. The challenge was staying close enough to the front of the caves to get a signal, but far enough back so they weren’t detected.
Fortunately, the only person who came into the caves was Heidi Stryker. She used the caves to age her goat cheese. But according to Reese, she only checked every couple of days, and the space she used was on the other side of the opening. To avoid her, they’d gone north instead of south at the fork.
Reese rolled onto his back and grabbed a fruit snack. He opened the package and tore off a strip. “How much trouble are we going to be in, you think?”
“Tons,” Carter said, watching the small red dot moving on the screen. “You heard the police scanner. Half the town has turned out to look for us.”
“Wicked!”
“You didn’t have to do this,” Carter reminded his friend. “You could have stayed home.”
“And let you have all the fun? No way. Plus, once you get Gideon and Felicia married, I’ll know you’re staying around permanently. High school in two years, my friend. Then we get all the girls.”
They bumped fists, then wiggled their fingers.
* * *
THE SEARCH PARTIES all started from Pyrite Park. A member of CDS was part of every team. Consuelo had joined t
hem, giving them one more professional to help the townspeople. Gideon didn’t know what to think about the sheer number of people who had turned out to aid in the search. Even Eddie and Gladys had come along to find the boys.
People he didn’t know kept coming up to him and patting him on the back as they promised they would find the missing kids. He felt numb—almost disconnected. The attention was uncomfortable but necessary, he reminded himself. They had to get Carter back.
He couldn’t figure out why the kid had done it. Sure, there’d been some adjustments, but he would have sworn things had been going okay. Carter knew Gideon was his father and that he wasn’t going anywhere. Felicia made everything feel like a family event. What more did Carter want?
“We’re going to walk a grid,” Police Chief Barns said through a megaphone. “There are a few outlying areas we want to check, as well. Up the road by Gideon’s house. Justice, you take your team there. Also, the summer camp. Consuelo, can you go there? Make sure a parent with a kid in the camp is on the team.”
Gideon paced, waiting for them to be assigned. He kept having the nagging sense of missing something. That the why of it all was right in front of him, if only he could see it.
“You should go check out the caves by the Castle Ranch,” Mayor Marsha told Felicia. “If I were a boy, that’s where I’d go.”
“Caves?” Felicia’s voice rose in pitch. “That sounds dangerous.”
“These are shallow. Heidi uses them to age her cheese, but only a few. They’re safe enough—we had lots of people in them last year for...” She pressed her lips together. “That’s not important. You two go ahead. I’ll tell Alice.”
“I’ll come, too,” Kent said grimly.
Gideon grabbed Felicia’s hand and pulled her to his truck. “That’s as good a place to start as any.” He needed to be moving, doing. Standing around accomplished nothing.
“I don’t want a random search,” Felicia said. “It’s late and I want to find him.”
While it wasn’t exactly cold in late August, there was still a slight chill in the air. What if Carter was scared? What if something had happened to him? What if he was hurt?
Gideon shook off the questions. He hadn’t been in the field in years, but he knew the drill. Stay focused. Felicia might have the brains in the operation but he had the experience.
“How can anyone survive this?” she asked, sliding into the passenger side and closing the door. “The not knowing. It’s horrible.”
“I’m telling you, a shed is the answer.”
Kent slammed the rear door. “I can tell you Reese isn’t going to see the light of day until he’s thirty-five.”
They drove out to the ranch.
When they got there, several people were waiting for them. Rafe Stryker had already collected flashlights. Heidi, his wife, showed them some rudimentary maps of the caves, done years ago.
“This is where I store my cheese,” she said, pointing. “I was just there this morning.”
“Carter hadn’t run away then,” Gideon told her. “He was at the festival.”
“See how the path splits,” Rafe told them. He traced the line on the map. “Heidi only goes south. There’s a whole maze of trails heading north. If the boys are in the caves, that’s where we’ll find them.”
Shane, Rafe’s brother, joined them. They walked past a barn and what Heidi identified as the goat house, then headed toward the opening to the caves. Everyone turned on their lights. Three minutes later, they reached the divide in the path. Heidi and Rafe went first.
“This way,” Heidi said. “I spent some time in these caves last summer. There were cave paintings.” She paused. “That doesn’t matter. This way.”
Felicia moved next to Gideon. He took her hand. She squeezed his fingers, and they walked forward.
After a few hundred feet, he heard something.
“Quiet,” he instructed.
“I heard it, too,” Felicia murmured.
Their group went silent. In the distance was faint music.
“That way,” he said, pointing to a path that veered to the left.
“Carter!” Felicia called as she started to run.
Gideon kept up with her easily. His right hand kept reaching for a nonexistent weapon. The result of training, he thought grimly. No guns today, and no enemies.
“Carter!” Felicia screamed, running ahead.
Gideon kept pace with her. They rounded a bend and stumbled into a large open cave with high ceilings. Carter and Reese were sitting on sleeping bags, playing a game on a laptop, music blasting from speakers. There were lanterns and a cooler.
The teens scrambled to their feet as the adults rushed in. Felicia pulled Carter hard against her.
“What were you thinking?” she demanded as she touched his face, then his shoulders. “Running away? It was horrible. When I read that note—”
Kent muttered something under his breath as he reached for Reese. Father and son embraced.
The rest of the team gathered around. Felicia kept touching Carter, as if reassuring herself. Then she started to cry.
Carter immediately stepped back and looked horrified. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Don’t cry.”
“I was so scared,” she admitted, her voice shaking.
“I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“Too bad, because you would have achieved your goal. Oh, Carter.” She hugged him again. “You know you have to be punished, right?”
He nodded.
“Okay, and you have to swear you’ll never do this again.” She cupped his face in her hands. “I love you. You need to get that.”
Tears filled his eyes. “I love you, too, and I’m sorry.”
“Me, too, Dad,” Reese told his father. “It was a stupid trick.”
“More than a trick. You’re grounded, for starters. We’ll take it from there.”
Rafe headed toward the path. “I’ll alert the others that the boys are found.”
Gideon watched it all, physically there, but separate from what was happening. He could see Felicia’s emotion but wasn’t a part of it. Sure, he was glad the boys were fine, but he didn’t have the same connection as the others. It was like being underwater and hearing sound. He knew it was there but couldn’t recognize it.
And then he knew. Whatever had been done to him, whatever had been beaten from him, whatever had allowed him to survive when the others didn’t, wasn’t because he was stronger than them. It was because there was something wrong with him. He wasn’t like other people. They had loved once, and losing all they loved had destroyed them. He’d thought them weak, but he was wrong. They were completely human.
And he wasn’t.
He didn’t have the same emotions, the same needs. Perhaps the flaw had always been there, and the torture had brought it to the surface. Maybe he’d been more whole before, but what had happened to him had caused breaks. He didn’t know, and it didn’t matter. Except he had a child now.
What was he supposed to do about Carter?
It didn’t take them long to get back to the park. Nearly everyone who had turned out to help them with the search wanted to see the boys, as if to be reassured that they really were okay. Carter stayed close to Felicia, and she did the same, as if they both needed reassurance.
Finally the mayor started telling people to head home.
“It’s late,” she reminded them. “Tomorrow’s a workday, everyone.” Then she looked at Carter. “Did you get what you wanted?”
Gideon frowned and Felicia looked confused, but Carter flushed.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he began, then shrugged. “I don’t know.” He smiled. “Felicia loves me.”
“Was there any doubt?” the mayor asked.
“Not for a while now.” Unexpectedly, he turned to Gideon. “Dad, were you scared about me being gone?”
Gideon sensed the trap and didn’t know how to avoid it.
“I don’t understand,” Felicia sa
id. “What are you talking about? Of course he was terrified. We all were.”
“That’s not what he means,” Gideon said stiffly, as all the puzzle pieces came together. It shouldn’t have taken him this long, he told himself. It’s not as if the kid was subtle.
“He wants us to get together,” he told Felicia. “He wants us married so he can have a family. That’s what tonight was about. Scaring us into realizing our feelings.”
* * *
FELICIA WOULDN’T HAVE thought she had any emotions left. The ups and downs of the past few hours, not to mention the long weekend of the festival, had drained her. But apparently there was also room for surprise.
“He’s right,” Mayor Marsha said quietly. “That’s exactly what Carter wants. We’ve been talking about it a little. The one thing every child needs is stability.” She smiled. “All right. Two things, because love matters, too. What’s happening now is confusing. Carter needs to know where things stand.”
Get married or split up, Felicia thought, barely able to process the information.
“We’ll talk about it,” she said.
Gideon didn’t say anything.
They walked to the truck. Carter slid into the rear seat. Felicia climbed into the passenger seat as Gideon took the wheel. None of them spoke.
The drive up the mountain passed in a blur, but as they pulled into the driveway, she realized that she didn’t need to go looking for an answer, that it had been there all along.
Telling Carter she loved him had been a spontaneous moment. A burst of emotion, followed by a complete sense of rightness. She might not be the best mother around, but she was willing to do all she could, to learn, to be supportive and to establish boundaries. She would give her life for him if necessary and pray it was all enough.
Now, as she searched her heart, she discovered she’d also fallen for another person, but in a completely different way.
Gideon. Always Gideon.
From the first moment she’d spoken to him in that bar in Thailand, he’d been a part of her life. He’d made her feel good about herself, had laughed with her, cared for her, taught her and made her feel safe. When she wasn’t sure if she could fit in or where she belonged, she was comfortable with him. Loving him was so easy, she hadn’t recognized the symptoms.
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