“You want me to lie so you’ll move.”
When he laughs again it nearly kills me. I can feel my knees go weak. But I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s right. I’m very happy to see him. Much happier than I should be.
“I want you to tell me the truth.” His eyes grow intense and my chest tightens in response. I feel like I can’t breathe.
A big part of recovery is being truthful, but it’s also about not falling back into old habits. And right now I’m just one tiny towel away from having Leo’s amazing cock inside of me. I try to forget about the incredible night we spent together even though it’s a memory I’ve rerun more than a few times over the last few months.
Now I’m the one whose head is shaking. “I can’t do this…”
Before I know it he’s closed the small distance between us. I can’t move any further back because there’s a wall behind me. He’s so close I can feel the heat radiating from his near perfect body. He puts his hands on the wall on either side of me and gets so close to me that I can feel his breath tickle my lips. “Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll leave you alone.”
My stomach twists into a tight knot and I nearly double over. The words rattle around in my head, but I can’t make them come out of my mouth. Just four words: I don’t want you. But they’re stuck in my throat.
His eyes bore into me. “Tell me.”
Time seems to stop as he waits for my reply. I’m doing my best not to pass out. I’m completely overwhelmed by everything about him. The intensity of his gaze. The heat exuding from his body. And his overpowering masculine scent. It’s intoxicating.
I know the only way I’ll be able to say the words is if I close my eyes. If I continue to look at him they’ll never come out. “I don’t want you,” I finally whisper, my eyes shut tight.
I expect him to walk away, but instead I feel his breath on my neck as he moves close to my ear.
“Liar,” he whispers.
When I open my eyes I catch a final glimpse of his glorious ass as he struts down the pathway.
***
“We’re thinking about ordering Thai food for lunch,” Harper tells me when I finally find her in the kitchen. She’s standing in front of a large pile of oranges and grapefruits.
And what a kitchen it is. I’ve seen gourmet chefs’ kitchens that weren’t this decked out. They seem to have the latest of every kitchen appliance and gadget one could possibly own.
“Who does we include?” I use air quotes around we to emphasize my point.
She gives me a tight smile. “You’re going to have to get used to being around him and interacting with him. You’re going to be eating with him a lot.”
“Where’s the closest bar?”
“What are you talking about?” Her eyes narrow as she examines me.
“Being in the same room with Leo Donovan is like dropping me right in the middle of the most happening bar in town at about ten o’clock on a Friday night. It’s a relapse waiting to happen.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be testing your sobriety?”
“Testing is one thing. Being near Leo is tormenting.”
She raises an eyebrow. “I take it you ran into him already?”
“And he was wearing nothing but a hand towel. I haven’t had sex in…” I look around for a clock. “Do you have your watch on?”
When she rolls up the sleeve of her hideous paisley-print peasant blouse I notice she’s wearing a beautiful gold and diamond TAG Heuer Aquaracer.
“It’s almost one o’clock,” she announces.
“I haven’t had sex in almost forty-seven hours.” I grab her wrist. “Let me see that watch.”
When she pulls her hand away I notice her normally pale cheeks are turning a little red. Is she embarrassed?
“It’s nothing,” she insists.
“A five thousand dollar watch is not nothing.”
She gulps. “Do they really cost that much?”
I can’t help but laugh. “You don’t even know how much your own watch is worth?”
“I was afraid to look it up.” She heaves a heavy sigh as she glances down at the watch. “I didn’t need a new watch. My old Timex was doing just fine. Nic insisted on buying this for me.” When she looks back up at me she’s blinking back tears. “Do you really think it cost that much?”
I shrug. “Just a guess. It may have even been a little more.”
Now she looks like she’s going to be sick. “He spends way too much money on me.”
“I would have made him buy me a Cartier Miss Pasha. About ten thousand dollars. He got off cheap with that watch.”
“It’s a different world. I guess I’m not used to it yet.”
“Not only does Nic Rayne front one of the most popular rock bands in the world he’s also starred in some of the biggest box office hits of the decade. Wasn’t Fire in the Twilight like the highest grossing movie ever?”
She nods. “It made more money at the box office than Harry Potter and The Hunger Games combined.”
“Nic is worth hundreds of millions of dollars,” I continue. “Buying a five thousand dollar watch is nothing to him.”
She heaves a heavy sigh. “It still seems like a lot of money to me. It wasn’t that long ago we were struggling just to pay the rent and buy food.”
“I still don’t have enough money to pay rent or buy food,” I remind her.
“You don’t have to worry about that right now because you’ve got a place to stay and we’ve got plenty of food.”
“You’ve got plenty of oranges and grapefruits.” I point at the pile of citrus. “What are you doing with all of those?”
“Nic has wonderful gardens out back and he’s planted orange and grapefruit trees. I’m going to attempt to make fresh squeezed juice. Want to help?”
“It’s not like I have anything better to do. And I have a little bit of experience in the juicing department. We did some fresh squeezed juices at my dad’s smoothie shop, remember?”
As we peel the oranges Harper asks, “Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and your parents?”
“I don’t feel like talking about it right now. Or maybe ever. Let’s just say I found out a few things when we had our family therapy sessions that put my entire life in a new light.”
And thinking about my parents while peeling oranges makes me want to find a bottle of vodka and mix a screwdriver.
“I hope you’re able to work things out. When my dad had a heart attack it made me realize how much I took my parents for granted.”
I put down the orange I’m peeling and look over at Harper. “My parents have basically disowned me. I know they’re ashamed of me. I’m ashamed of myself. I now have a criminal record. I’m an alcoholic, a drug addict and a slut. What a trifecta their only daughter turned out to be.”
She tosses a stripped orange into the juicer. “Now is the perfect time for a fresh start.”
“Leave it to Harper to always find the silver lining in every shitty cloud that rolls by.”
We both look up when we hear footsteps heading toward the kitchen. When Nic Rayne walks in Harper’s demeanor completely changes. Generally a little uptight and straight-laced Harper’s entire body relaxes. And when she gives Nic a quick wave her face lights up.
Tall and muscular Nic towers over Harper. When he pulls her into his arms I can see him breathe her in, almost as if he’s been starving for oxygen and she’s his only source of that essential element.
Everything about Nic is sexy as hell. He’s got to be the most charming and charismatic man on the planet. There’s little doubt why he’s a movie star. His smile alone is worth a million bucks. I wouldn’t be surprised if every straight woman on the planet has a crush on Nic.
“You made it,” he says when he finally looks away from Harper long enough to notice me.
“They finally released me from rehab,” I joke.
“You look good.” He’s already putting on the charm.
>
“I know I look like shit, but thanks for the ego boost. And thanks for letting me stay at your place.”
He drapes his arm over Harper’s shoulder. “It’s our place.” Then he places a quick kiss on the top of her head. “Shakes knows she can have whatever she wants. And she wants you to stay here.”
Harper flinches slightly at the nickname. I’m not sure exactly how she got it, but I know it’s short for Shakespeare and I imagine it has something to do with her being a writer, even though she’s not that kind of writer. She’s a journalist.
“Well, I appreciate it, Nic.”
Now he’s the one who flinches slightly. “Nic, really?”
Harper laughs. “It’s your name.”
He kisses her cheek. “You’re the only one who calls me Nic. Everyone has always called me Rayne.”
“I like busting your balls,” I tell him. “It gives me great pleasure to see you get slightly flustered.”
“Speaking of flustered. What the fuck did you do to Leo?”
“Absolutely nothing.”
He laughs. “Maybe that’s the problem. The dude needs to get laid.”
“Isn’t that what Raven’s for?” The remark comes out sounding snarkier than I intend. Or maybe I really am just a complete bitch. Sometimes it’s hard to tell.
Nic throws up his hands. “I don’t know what’s going on with those three. And I’m not sure I want to know.” He grabs a slice of orange and shoves it in his mouth. “These are good. Don’t juice all of them, okay?”
Harper plays with his chin. “I’ll save a few for you.”
“Did you order the Thai food?”
“Not yet. What does everyone want?”
“Just order what we got last time. I think they’ll eat anything.”
“When is Brad coming back?”
“Not until next week. I know he needs to take vacations, but it sucks not having an assistant for two weeks.”
“Especially when I get to be your pseudo assistant while he’s gone. And speaking of assistants, Brooke has agreed to be mine.”
Nic nods. “I know you need the help. Chatter has really taken off.”
When Leo, Xander and Raven come strolling into the kitchen I can’t help but notice that Leo still doesn’t have a shirt on. At least he’s wearing pants, although his jeans are tight-fitting enough to show off his sexy ass.
“Do you ever put on a shirt?” I complain when he sidles right up next to me. He’s so close I can feel the heat radiating from his body.
“Not if I don’t have to,” he jokes. He shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. “Is it bothering you seeing me half naked?”
I shake my head. “Not at all.” But we both know it’s a lie. There’s so much heat being generated between us I’m surprised the air conditioning hasn’t turned on.
Leave it to Raven to slither right between us. She makes a point of glaring at me with those scary dark eyes of hers. If we were in a fairytale Raven would be a young, evil witch. She’s tall and super thin. And she’s got the straightest, blackest hair I’ve ever seen. No one would ever mistake her for being the heroine. She’d definitely be the villain of the story.
“How long are you staying?” She looks me up and down like she’s inspecting me.
People rarely intimidate me. Most of the time I’m the one doing the intimidating. But Raven is scary as hell.
“I’m not sure,” I manage to croak out.
When she looks at Leo I notice some frost between them that was never there before. I immediately wonder if it has something to do with me.
“What do you want, Brooke?” Harper asks, cellphone to her ear.
“Whatever you’re having. I don’t care. I’m sure anything you order will be better than the disgusting food in rehab.”
“It won’t bother you if I drink, will it?” Raven gives me an evil little smirk.
I shake my head, even though I’m not actually sure. It will probably be hell seeing her drink while I can’t have a drop. I just don’t want to give her the satisfaction of getting to me already.
“Good. Want a beer?” She turns her attention to Leo.
He throws up his palms. “I’m good.”
Raven places her hands on her hips and glares at him. “You don’t want a beer? Since when?”
He shrugs. “I just don’t feel like having one, okay? Give it a rest.”
“Is this about the boozehound?”
Even though it’s an accurate descriptor it still stings.
“That’s enough.” Xander steps in and grabs Raven’s elbow.
She tries to pull away from him, but he’s got a tight hold on her. Xander is taller than Leo, but not quite as muscular. He’s also not as dark. His hair is light brown and his eyes are hazel. Unlike his brother Xander is fully clothed.
“Let go of me,” Raven hisses.
Xander slowly shakes his head as he glares at her. To my complete surprise she actually defers to him. That could be a first, at least that I’ve seen. “Leo doesn’t want to drink. He doesn’t have to drink. End of story.”
Raven opens her mouth like she wants to say more, but then thinks better of it and shuts her trap.
I haven’t gotten to know Xander very well, but I think we may just get along. He’s a lot different than his brother. Leo is brash and over-confident, while Xander exudes more of a quiet strength.
I can’t help but laugh when several bars of Always Rayne’s biggest hit plays in chimes. “Let me guess. That’s the doorbell.”
Harper rolls her eyes. “I know it’s ridiculous.”
“It’s cool,” Nic counters.
“Somebody better answer the door,” Leo suggests. “I’m starving.”
Two
Leo
“Fuck, Dude. What did you do that for?” I rub my calf where Xander just kicked me.
“Because you’re being a douche.”
I frown. “How?”
“You just are.”
“I agree,” Raven pipes in. She’s lying in bed between me and Xander.
The three of us sleep together most of the time. Even when we’re not fucking Raven we still all end up in bed together. I think after so many years of being together we’re just used to it.
I haven’t fucked Raven since the Wild Child marched back into my life. I can’t even remember the last time I fucked anyone, which could be a record for me. We’ve been too busy working on our new album and it’s not like there’s a lot of wool to pull in Scottsdale. I’m not into forty-year-olds with fake tits.
I just can’t get the Wild Child out of my head. Brooke Rhodes is all I think about. And it’s not just about banging her, although I think about that a lot. She’s just so real. She doesn’t take any shit from me and she gives it right back. The girls I usually fuck never do that. They’re too star-struck to say anything but what they think I want to hear. The night we were together Brooke and I actually talked. And she really listened to what I said. She took me seriously. That was a first. Raven and Xander don’t even do that.
“We’d better get up,” Xander suggests. “Nic’s got us on a tight schedule and he wants to get a lot of work done on the album today.”
“It’s Sunday,” Raven moans as she wipes sleep from her eyes.
“You can stay in bed,” Xander tells her. “You don’t have to get up.”
Even though she has no musical talent whatsoever Raven’s been with the band since we were in high school. She’s extremely talented in the sack and has always been very willing to give us everything we want whenever we want it. And she doesn’t care if we fuck other girls as long as they’re a one-and-done deal. That’s never been a problem until the Wild Child came along. With most chicks one dive into the kiddie pool is more than enough. Brooke is more like an ocean that I haven’t even begun to explore.
Raven gets out of bed anyway, like she always does. Where Xander and I go, she goes. It’s always been that way.
“I’ll hop in the shower first
,” I announce as I head toward our bathroom. A small part of me expects Raven to follow, but she’s been acting weird and distant since Brooke showed up.
When she doesn’t make a move I realize I’m going to be showering solo. At least it’ll be a quick one.
After I shampoo and begin to wash the rest of my body I tug on my dick a few times and bring it to life. When I jerk off in the shower I usually think about some super model or porn star I’d like to bang, but today my mind moves right to the Wild Child. I want to be inside of her again so bad it hurts. My dick gets rock hard just imagining her on top of me. She’s one cowgirl who knows how to ride a stallion.
It takes just a few quick strokes for me to explode and I quickly wash away the jizz. As I towel off I glance at myself in the mirror. The bad part about being in a well-known rock band is that I never know if a girl wants me or wants the guitar player for Always Rayne. I know I’m not as good looking as Nic. No secret there. I don’t think I’m as good looking as Xander either. So I always wonder if the girls who fuck me really want to fuck me. If I was just some dude on the street, like some guy who worked at the meat counter at the grocery store or some dude who dug ditches for a living, would girls even give me a second look?
It’s not that I don’t love it when girls spread their legs for me, but I have noticed over the years that the more famous Always Rayne got, the more chicks I could score. And not just concert skanks and fangirls. When we started selling out stadiums I got my choice of Grade “A” Prime. Models, actresses and porn stars actually started lining up to spend the night with the guitar player in Always Rayne.
But I wonder how many of them actually even knew my name.
As I exit the bathroom I’m caught off guard when Raven and Xander enter the bathroom after me.
Hand in hand.
Since when does Raven take a shower with Xander but not with me?
***
“What’s going on with the three of you?” Rayne asks as I enter the studio. He converted half of his guest house into a small production studio for us to work in when we’re not on the road.
I shrug. “If you figure it out would you mind filling me in?”
Rayne runs a hand through his disheveled hair. We haven’t made as much progress on the album as he expected and I know we’re way behind schedule. As cool as he normally likes to play things I can tell the stress is getting to him.
Sometimes Brooke (The ALWAYS SOMETIMES NEVER Rock Star Romance Series Book 2) Page 2