by Evie Adams
“You really didn't come here for medical advice at all did you?”
“I guess not.”
“I think you're an idiot. But a good brother. My brotherly advice is stop being an idiot. I don't remember ever seeing you give up. Jacob Sr used to make you cry and you didn’t quit. I remember you crying your eyes out when he kept interrupting you and using the rules of evidence against you. It wasn't a fair fight, obviously, but you showed up the next day, still fighting. I did my part by breaking the lamp too. But you always got up, even if you knew you were going to cry again, which you did a few more times. Eventually you started winning. That's my advice. Keep fighting even if you start crying. If she's important to you, if you love her, then keep fighting. I'll be here for you. Whatever you need. Whatever misunderstanding happened, that’s probably not the worst thing. It's something else, so find that and figure it out and go after it. Be tenacious. Everything has always come easy for you. You're smart, successful, rich, spoiled as all hell, this is a real challenge for you. You didn't give up in the past, don't give up now. What are you willing to do, willing to risk to get her back?”
“Anything, everything.”
“Then do it. Tell her. Let her know. You know what? You should talk to Diane, she’s surprisingly maternal when it comes to these things. I’ve gone to her a few times myself.”
I knew my brother would support me whatever happened. He was an ally, a friend, what I needed was someone who maybe wouldn't go so easy on me. Let me know it all the bad and the good.
For most people, mom is the Pollyanna who will tell you everything is alright. Your biggest cheerleader, always supportive even if she knows you’ll fail.
Not mine.
She was better at pointing out my weaknesses, reining in my confidence when it was too much.
But it worked. I needed her to take the air out of me sometimes.
“Diane, I’m thinking about wasting some company resources, but for a good cause.”
“Is it a Monday already? I swear I had one more day before you started costing me money.”
“I’m in love with Laura, and I screwed it up.”
“That sounds about right. You know, when Artie recommended her, he said something like Jake better watch out for her, she’s too perfect for him. I don’t want to hear about how you messed up, but before I help you, is it true? Do you love her? If not, if you have any doubts, even small ones, reasonable doubts, then don’t waste her time.”
I paused, but didn’t really have to think about it. “I’m sure, I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
“Not even Falver?”
“Mom.”
“Oh, okay. Well then go after her. Do whatever it takes. Be tenacious. You have always been a spoiled child, the first born, but you're just like your father. I could see the puppy love a mile away, and you’re sure about her?"
“I am sure. I've never been so sure. Absolutely, she's the one."
"Well then go after her, you have my blessing, don't give up, just like on a witness, don't ever give ground, don't waver. If you give up too soon, if you lack your confidence, she'll think the rest of you will waver too. Be relentless, like cross-examining a bad witness."
“And Mom, I just want to let you know Artie, no I can’t call him that, J. Arthur, if he makes you feel the way I feel, then it doesn’t bother me anymore.”
“If I wanted your permission I’d ask for it. If I cared what you thought I’d ask, but thanks. Be the man I raised. Good luck.”
(Back to Table of Contents)
CHAPTER 21 - JACOB
I'm outside the office Monday morning, waiting for her. She walks up all wrapped up like a Christmas present, high heels, hair pulled back tight, glasses, the sexy librarian, all business look.
She bites her lip when she sees me, my god it was sexy. But then her face turned cold, a stony look came over her. I had done that to my face a hundred times, when things go bad for you at trial, that face is the only one you're allowed to show to the world.
But I know what's under that face too.
You're freaked out, scared, the whole world just crashed down around you. And the face just says 'I won't let that affect me', one foot in front of the other until you have the chance to curl up in the corner, but not when or where anyone can see you.
This was good news.
This was great news.
This meant she cared. This meant I hurt her and she was angry which was a million times better than her not caring, being indifferent. The only way she could be hurt was if she felt something for me, that she cared.
Anger and hate I could work with. It showed she cared and wanted to be with me. Now if I could only clear up the misunderstanding. The hurt ran deep, if I had seen her walk out of a bathroom with two smiling men, I would have been crushed. But I would have listened right? I wouldn't have passed judgment right away right?
But I was not a woman. I was not this stubborn, beautiful mess that was Laura Miller. My only worry was she could be better at closing herself down, better at being stubborn than I could be charming and persuasive.
She keeps walking towards me, only a momentary hitch in her walk along with the lip bite, when she sees me, a pause as one foot lifts and she has a chance to turn around, to run away, but no she doesn't do that of course.
Neither would I.
Her face tightens and her eyes narrow and she barely nods at me, acknowledging my existence but no more.
“Laura, you have to believe me what you saw was nothing, I had just said no to them, I know how bad it looked but it was nothing I swear.”
“Good morning Attorney Hughes. I hope we can keep things professional at the office, but I just want to say, it doesn't matter, you're an excellent liar, and it was that moment I realized I'll never be able to believe you about anything. Truth or not. But we can still work together, and be professional. Let's put this to rest and just be two co-workers okay?”
“You practiced that speech didn't you?” I could tell.
Her eyes harden even more. Ice.
“It's a good one. But you have to let me explain.”
“No, you can explain all you want and it won't do any good. I thought there was more to you. I thought there was something beautiful under all the arrogance, the cockiness. I wasn't expecting marriage or anything, but the way you looked at me, the way,” she looks away and her voice cracks, and it felt like a sword cleaving me.
But she makes her face into stone again, and recovers her voice. “I thought you cared, but I was wrong.”
“No Laura you weren't --” she cuts me off.
“I was, and it doesn't matter. You're my Falver I guess, a big mistake that I should have seen coming but didn't, I was blinded by my own greed and desire.”
Ouch, now I had two women in my life throwing Falver in my face.
“Nothing happened.” I plead.
If she wants truth, I have a truth for her. “I might be impotent. My dick doesn't work. It didn't work for them, it doesn't work for me. I'm in love with you and I only just realized it this weekend. Give me a chance and give me back my dick.”
She broke a smile, briefly. I know she believes me. That was too big of a lie for anyone, and she knows my poker face.
“I wouldn't make that up. I'm in love with you.”
“I'm sorry to hear about your personal problems Attorney Hughes, but there's not much I can do.”
“Of course there is, I think it moved just now when you almost smiled.”
Again she had to fight off a smile, but she is more stubborn than I thought. “If your dick had worked then those two girls would have looked more disheveled I guess, but that doesn't change anything. I can't trust you. Ever. And that probably has as much to do with me as it does with you. But we can't have a relationship without trust.”
“If I have to show you every day I will. I'll get a chastity belt, anything. I've never felt this way before. I've never wanted the things I want with you. I've never turned
down two beautiful women throwing themselves at me to have dinner with someone else, to be there with my clothes on and your clothes on and talk and try to make you laugh and imagine how good you'll look out of those clothes. I've never wanted that but now I do.”
The stone breaks for a second. Words have power, even against stone like that. But she knows that too. She puts her armor back on, and I know I'm losing here.
“There's nothing to save, nothing to throw away. All we had was competition and lust and that's not enough for either of us.”
“Please Laura, you have to give me another chance.”
“There aren't any second chances at trial or here. The stakes are high and you play to win, when you lose you lose. We lost. Move on. I know you can.” And she walks by me through the doors. But I don't follow her. She can win this round, my plan is the death of a thousand cuts.
A long trial has plenty of ups and downs. You'll get bad witnesses, bad evidence will turn up just when everything is going good, and if you're not resilient, you might give up before you should.
There are 1000 reasons to give up. But if you don't there's always the chance the jury will hear you.
Will listen to you.
If you give up before that, the miracle may never happen, but if you trust them to overcome the things you messed up, then you have a chance.
I've never given up in the middle of a trial, not even with Falver, I was willing to push through, but the judge dismissed the case. It was out of my hands, but this isn't.
I won't give up here.
Now, the important thing is to find the story, just like in a case. I can argue her all day long, but without a story, I've got nothing.
Without another miracle, this is going to be difficult.
Sometimes you have to let the miracle come to you, let your subconscious do the work for you. I took the day off and went shopping.
(Back to Table of Contents)
CHAPTER 22 - LAURA
I wait in her office. The seventeen people I saw that morning, already laughed at me, but I didn't care. I was already heckled as 'sweeter than cotton candy' and 'candy ass' but it didn't matter. I had been called worse.
She walks in and laughs, she couldn't restrain it today, it was a high, lilting laugh, the best sound in the world. Then she remembers she hates me, or is trying to hate me. I swear it moved when she smiled. It moved.
"Good morning Dr. Miller, just wanted to go over the animal case with you, I was thinking of wearing this to voir dire, I had some good advice earlier from a smart and beautiful consultant to soften my image, what do you think?"
"Real men don't wear pink. And they especially don't wear a pink seersucker suit."
“The salesman swore it was salmon.”
“They say that but we all know its pink,”
“If you want me to make a fool of myself every day I will. I have no pride left. You took it.”
“Don't put that on me. And make a fool all you want it doesn't change anything.”
“You're wrong about that. You're smiling at me, which is the most wonderful thing in the world, I missed it. But I guess it’s not enough. But that's okay. I have more. I'm not giving up Laura. Not until you agree to dinner. The dinner we missed on Saturday. You broke it off, remember, not me.”
Now, most people would never bring up the source of pain, the one thing that screwed everything up. Most people hide it, sweep it under the rug, pretend it's not there, hope the elephant in the room doesn't crush you. But you can't do that in the law. You have to show the worst part of your case, you have to light it up with neon signs if it's that bad because if you don't, everyone will know you're full of shit, and you can't be trusted.
And they'll hold it against you, resent you. But if you bring it up, you can argue that it’s not that bad. You take responsibility and move on to the points that are good for you, and even if the jury still doesn't believe you, at least they know you can be trusted. That you won't lie about the bad, and they'll be more willing to listen to the good. Presenting the worst part of your case as early as possible clears the air.
“It's your fault we never got to dinner.” She shoots back, with that injured scowl again.
“I know that. I know how it looked. I know how your face twisted. And the hurt that showed up on it. And I'd kill myself before I ever saw that look on your face again.”
The stone cracked again. But not completely.
"I will wear this to court unless you agree to have dinner with me Friday."
“You’re trying to force me to have dinner with you or else you’ll make a fool out of yourself? That’s not a very good negotiating tactic. Which one of those do I want?”
“Dinner. This.” I point to myself.
She breaks a smile, and turns before she laughs at me again, "Your funeral, you'll certainly make a first impression. Maybe not a good one, but you’ll make one. I'm not your mom, I'm your co-worker, though I guess you could get confused on that one. If you want to talk about the case, schedule a meeting."
"How about Friday at 7, my place?"
"I don't think I'm authorized for overtime, and that's not something I'd do off the clock, ever."
"I want to start over, tell you all the things I wanted to, how wonderful you are in every way.”
“I have work to do.”
“I know, and I won't get in your way, but I won't stop until you agree to dinner, one dinner.” I would let her think about me. Let her smile at how ridiculous I looked when she's working, thinking about something else.
Pam walks in the office and belly laughs at me, ruining any chance at Laura capitulating. “Hey peppermint, come sit on old Pam’s lap."
Laura laughs again, “I think you should listen to her Attorney Hughes.”
(Back to Table of Contents)
CHAPTER 23 - LAURA
One pink suit was hard enough to find, and I had to pay an arm and a leg for it, but pink shirts and blue ties were my uniform for the week, and I sort of got to like it. A menacing grin and a pink shirt seemed to match nicely. Pink could be a power color, if used right.
I had them all laid out for the week, but my bed was empty. I put in 'My cousin Vinny', laid in bed, and dialed her number.
"Hello Laura,"
"Jake? What is it?" her voice was sleepy, vulnerable. She called me Jake, not Attorney Hughes, not asshole, this was progress.
"Just in bed thinking of you."
"Good to know. Is there something you need?”
“You, in bed with me.”
“Goodnight Attorney Hughes."
Click.
I dial again.
"So what are you wearing?"
"Did you call just to annoy me?”
"Yes, I want to annoy you for the rest of your life, and only you, but that's not all I want to do."
She paused, "God I hope not."
"Did you like my suit? I have a dozen shirts, the suit I can only rotate in once a week I think."
"It's very nice. Your new nickname 'Peppermint' might stick, Pam's really lobbying for it to be permanent."
“You can call me whatever you want.”
No answer.
“I’m watching My Cousin Vinny again in bed and thinking of you.”
“That's nice. Enjoy the movie.”
“I was thinking about the point of the movie. How the team is so much stronger than the individual.”
“That's good maybe you can use that in the future.”
“I was also thinking about your miracle lawyer from when you were a kid. I was thinking how the firm should get more involved in that. Legal Aid type of stuff, and I want you to head that. I'll discuss with Diane, but I think she'll be supportive.”
“That's amazing. But if you're trying to bribe me, it won't work.”
“I know. No bribe. I want to see you enjoy your work, you're better when you enjoy it. And I'm better when you enjoy it. This way you'll be happy and I'll get to annoy you. I think if you take the lead on those t
hings you're passionate about and I help from time to time, and I do the big cases and you annoy me into being better, we'll be better than ever.”
“Can the firm afford that?”
“I don't now. But Artie will help.”
“Don't you hate him?”
“No, he's alright. And if he makes Diane feel a tenth of what I feel for you then I'll put his name on the firm personally.”
“That's big of you Jake.”
She called me Jake again, it felt wonderful.
“The Grinch’s heart grew three sizes over night, why can't mine? And that's not all that's growing. Say something sexy.”
“Ugh, you can ruin a nice moment can't you?”
“I do, only because it annoys you.”
“Good night Attorney Hughes.”
“Wait. I have a deposition tomorrow I want you to sit in on okay?”
"Okay."
“Good night, I love you.”
There was a pause before she hung up, but not long enough for her to say anything back.
But she would be thinking about me, maybe dream about me. Maybe a good one.
A thousand cuts.
If last night softened her up, she didn't show it. She was still wrapped up tight, and held her face of stone out to me and the world.
I popped in her office, and her eyes found my pink shirt, with the blue tie, and laughed slightly to herself, that she couldn't hide. “So we're on for the depo at 10? It's in the conference room, so no travel.”
She raised an eyebrow, generally depositions are taken on neutral territory. So she was suspicious.
“Sleep well?”
“Except for a few annoying phone calls.”
She tried to sell it, but she didn't mean it.
“What a bother, someone annoying you. Anyhow, we have an appointment with Diane later this week to try and sell her on the pro bono Legal Aid idea too. I put it on your schedule for Friday, is that enough time?”