“Oh, pish.” The child’s short arms folded across her chest.
He nudged Brutus and with a flick of the reins they were headed back to the stable. Gabe returned his attention to his daughter, confident Brutus could find his way home.
“‘Pish?’ Where did you learn such language?”
“Aunt Millie.”
“I should have known.” He couldn’t even muster the slightest disappointment at her unladylike speech. If the years of his father’s overbearing ‘tutoring’ taught him anything, it would be to avoid stifling the brilliant spark that made her a wonderful child who had somehow wormed her way into his life, and now held his heart in her tiny grasp.
By no means did that mean the moment she started to be courted, he wouldn’t lock her away until she was old and feeble.
“Aunt Millie says fun words all the time.”
“And does she allow you to repeat them?”
“Uh-huh. You can’t hunt pirates without them.”
She said it so matter-of-factly, Gabe couldn’t resist the impulse to lean over and place a gentle kiss atop her head. It got lost in her dark curls and she probably hadn’t even felt it, but he had . . . and the ease with which he’d done it unsettled him.
Maybe he wasn’t as broken as he thought.
Chapter 37
Elizabeth flinched as a sticky web latched onto her hand when she brushed against the old trunk. After being draped in them the day before, she should be immune. Still, what person in her proper mind wouldn’t succumb to a shiver or two at the nasty stuff?
She wiped the gauzy mass onto the skirt of her old dress. Why hadn’t she asked Wilkes to send someone to the attic to sift through the last few trunks?
But if she’d done that, she wouldn’t have escaped her room. She’d still be fretting over how long it would be before Gabe realized that despite what he thought of his past, he was the man she wanted to marry.
Or wonder where Gabe and Phoebe had gotten off to. It had taken her at least thirty minutes of unsuccessful searching before Jane had informed her they’d gone out riding. Elizabeth wasn’t sure how she felt about the development. Although pleased Gabe had chosen to spend time with his daughter, there remained a bit of worry about how the two were getting along.
In the end she’d settled on pleased. There couldn’t possibly be any harm in the two spending time together.
Such togetherness was beneficial for father and daughter, yet Elizabeth couldn’t help but feel excluded. She wanted to be involved in their bonding. To see their relationship blossom.
All in all, the attic provided the distraction she needed, no matter how dirty the task proved. She kept reminding herself Phoebe would be beyond thrilled with whatever was uncovered. It made rummaging through the remaining dusty old belongings worth it.
So far she hadn’t had much luck finding anything to interest a toddling child. Maybe they’d unearthed everything useful during their search yesterday.
Elizabeth crouched before another trunk. Might as well make getting covered with cobwebs worth it. The trunk had half as much dust compared to the others; whatever was inside couldn’t be as old. Or at least it had been disturbed within the last quarter century.
The cover opened silently and when she realized it held a stack of old letters and other small trinkets, she started to close it. Until her eyes locked onto a name written on one of the letters.
Cecilia.
Her entire body froze. Even her breathing seemed to cease.
She struggled with what she should do. Shut the lid and forget she’d seen anything? Or dig through the letters and perhaps find some answers to the mystery surrounding Gabe’s past lover?
In the end, Elizabeth’s fingers made the decision for her as they reached into the trunk and pulled out a pack of letters tied together with a red string.
She gave the string a tug, ignoring the nagging in her head telling her she was invading a private area of Gabe’s life. On the other hand, if he never wanted anyone to see the letters, he would have burned them. Wouldn’t he?
Her fingers trembled as she unfolded the first letter and smoothed out the creases. The paper was worn and the ink faded but there was no mistaking the faint floral aroma coming from the paper. Elizabeth closed her eyes, afraid to continue. Afraid to face the reality that Gabe loved someone else. Possibly more than he loved her.
Set on what she needed to do, she inhaled a deep breath and immersed herself in the feminine penmanship.
My Dearest Heart,
Each day we are together my love for you grows. I can’t believe my fortune to have found someone who loves me as much as I love him.
Elizabeth’s heart pounded and a wave of misery, similar to what she felt during her episodes, slammed against her. The words of love that poured from the pages of Cecilia’s letters twisted around in Elizabeth’s stomach, nauseating her.
Regrettably, not even the pain compelled her to return the letters to the trunk before she read through each one in aching detail.
By the time she reached the final letter she more than regretted her decision to dive into Gabe’s past. As painful as each one was, the last contained the ultimate blow that tore her heart in two.
I’ve never been so happy and I can’t wait until the day I become your Duchess. Every one of my fantasies came true the moment you asked me to be your wife.
Elizabeth struggled to hold the paper within her trembling fingers. He was going to marry her? It couldn’t be true. A duke and an actress? Society would never forgive such a disregard for its unwritten rules.
But there it was, blaring from the rose-fragranced pages. Elizabeth had never known Gabe to become swept away by his emotions. There could only be one explanation. His love for Cecilia had been enough to throw away his social standing.
Would he ever love me with such conviction? Especially since he couldn’t seem to set his past behind him and marry her.
A bottle of emotions broke apart inside of her. Her fingers still shaky, she gathered the letters and hastily returned them to the trunk, not even bothering to retie them. The simple act of affixing the string would have taken too long. She needed to have them far away from her. Now. Just the touch of the paper full of sentiments sent shivers of pain through her arm and pierced her heart.
Blinking through her tears, she replaced the lid and stumbled to her feet. The walls started to move in on her and she craved fresh air.
By a pure miracle she descended the stairs without tripping. A fog had worked its way around her, leaving everything a cloudy haze.
How could it be possible to tumble from such a powerful precipice, to the ultimate hell? She hadn’t even had time to bask in the delight of Gabe’s love before it was torn from her.
Still fighting to fill her lungs with air, she raced through the hall and didn’t stop until she stood outside the house, taking in deep gasps. The fresh air cleared her senses and settled her nerves.
The deep heartache still lingered.
She’d scarcely brought her breathing under control when a pounding started in her head and she was afraid she’d become ill yet. The pulse grew louder before she realized it was the thumping of horse hooves.
She glanced up, and when she recognized Gabe and Phoebe approaching, swiped away her tears.
He drew abreast and the sight of his strong form sitting on the massive animal, holding his daughter to him with one arm, evoked fresh misery.
They displayed the perfect picture of a family. The only thing missing was a mother. Her heart cracked, knowing Phoebe’s true mother was the woman Gabe had wanted to marry. That Gabe had desired a family with Cecilia.
And Elizabeth would have been alone.
Chapter 38
Relief rolled through Gabe at the sight of Elizabeth. She was the onl
y person he entrusted with his daughter. And Phoebe’s safety was all that concerned him.
He didn’t give a second thought to the damage Brutus’s hooves inflicted on the manicured lawn as he rode the horse directly to her. When he approached a sadness seemed to surround her, but it quickly vanished. It must have been the play of the sun.
Instead of shying away from Brutus, she petted the temperamental beast’s nose. The horse immediately responded to her touch and nuzzled closer. He swore if Brutus had been capable he would have purred like a kitten.
Despite his best effort, Gabe found himself envious of the beast. He would give his right arm to be able to snuggle with Elizabeth—preferably in a bed. Instead he had to hunt the person responsible for bringing harm to the woman he loved, retribution all that made the sacrifice bearable.
“Please take Phoebe inside and don’t let her out of your sight.” His single-minded need to track the man caused his voice to be harsh. He instantly regretted his rough command when Elizabeth merely gaped at him.
Somewhere during the ride back, Phoebe must have sensed his unease because for once her steady chattering had ceased, leaving nothing but silence. Elizabeth peered at him, her only movement the constant stroke of her delicate hand over Brutus’s smooth nose.
Meeting her eyes, he swore another flicker of sadness touched their green depths. As before, it left as swiftly as it had entered, and made him wonder if it had been there at all.
Gabe sought a way to explain about the man without alerting Phoebe to the potential danger—and without distressing Elizabeth.
“My apologies. Would you please spend the day with Phoebe? I have some important matters involving a particular unwanted visitor to attend to. I don’t know how long I’ll be detained. I’d like for Phoebe to stay inside until I return.”
For several beats Elizabeth studied him. He fought the urge to shift under her scrutiny. Finally, her features eased and he knew she understood.
“Of course. I would love nothing better than to spend the day with Phoebe. Besides, I believe we have some unfinished business regarding the bounty we discovered.”
Phoebe started to wriggle, trying to get off Brutus’s back. There would be no need to convince her to go with Elizabeth.
“Can we be princesses?”
Elizabeth abandoned Brutus—at which the horse showed his disapproval with a flick of his large head—and assisted Phoebe to the ground. “May we be princesses?”
“That is what I said. Can we be princesses?”
Instead of correcting the child for a second time, Elizabeth only smiled. “Of course we can. Go on ahead and have Jane help you change your dress. A princess never smells like a horse.”
Phoebe left a trail of giggles in her wake as she scampered into the house. Gabe kept his eyes on the retreating curls, all the while feeling Elizabeth’s eyes on him.
“He’s back?” A hesitant waver replaced the gentleness of her voice.
Gabe looked down. Her fear was unmistakable. His fists tightened on the reins at the sight. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on the man and exact revenge.
Unable to voice an answer, he nodded his head.
“What are you going to do?”
All he desired was to dismount and fold her in his arms, but he’d already wasted enough time. He must leave now if he stood a chance of catching the man.
“I’m going to find him and ensure he doesn’t have the opportunity to harm anyone I care about.”
“You’ll be careful, won’t you?”
Her worry over his safety touched a piece of his heart he hadn’t felt beat in a long time.
“I’m always careful. Besides, the sooner I’m back, the sooner I can kiss you again.”
A warm blush colored her cheeks. “Who says I’ll allow you such liberties?”
Confident in her love, he pushed his shoulders back and in his most ducal voice answered, “I say.”
“Of course, Lord Pigheaded.” She added a small curtsey to her mockery.
He couldn’t hide his laughter. “You will pay for that when I return.”
At his reminder of his departure, she instantly sobered. “Be safe.”
He locked his eyes with hers and tried to pour all the love in his heart through his gaze. “I will. I promise.”
After his declaration, he spun Brutus and spurred him in the direction of the stable. All the while, silently vowing to find as many able bodied men as he could, track Elizabeth’s attacker, and guarantee the man never had the opportunity to get close to her again.
Chapter 39
For Elizabeth, time had slowed to a crawl.
There were a few moments it seemed to have stopped completely.
Where was Gabe? He had been gone for several hours. Surely they should have found the intruder by now. What if something had happened? What if he had been hurt?
Thinking the worst was getting her nowhere, she fastened her attention on the windows for what seemed like the hundredth time, but the ping of rain drops against the darkened glass only served to increase her anxiety. The change in weather hadn’t put her at ease. What would she do if he didn’t return safely?
She pressed her fingers to her temples in an attempt to free the unpleasant thoughts from her mind. Gabe had promised to be safe. He would be walking through the door any moment now.
More minutes ticked by and Elizabeth absorbed herself in worry yet again.
“He will be fine, dear. Don’t fret.”
Aunt Millie’s usual sound advice did nothing to calm her. Why hadn’t she stopped him? There was no need to go after the intruder. Surely, the man wouldn’t have come back. Not against the threat of the Duke of Wesbrook.
“Elizabeth Susanne Blakely, look at me.”
Well, I’m surely in for it. Several years had passed since her aunt had used that particular tone with her. Even so, it still had the same effect. Keeping her eyes averted, Elizabeth pivoted toward her aunt.
“That never worked when you were a child and it isn’t going to work now,” Aunt Millie snorted. “I said, look at me.”
Feeling all of ten years old, she raised her eyes to her aunt’s piercing gaze.
“Better. Now listen and listen well. Gabe is a capable man with plenty of others assisting him. He is smart and he will be fine. You will make yourself sick with worry if you don’t stop your moping. You need to be strong. If not for yourself, then for the delightful girl upstairs.”
It didn’t seem fair how her aunt always seemed to be right. If only it wasn’t so difficult to separate what she knew she needed to do and what she wanted to do.
Elizabeth found her deepest fear lay in thinking she’d have to tell Phoebe her papa was never coming back. Once Gabe had left, Phoebe played ‘princess’ with the old dresses they had uncovered in the attic. As the day wore on and she’d tired of her games of pretend, she started to ask for her father. Apparently, after their morning together, she had become quite attached to him.
Following hours of evading the question, Elizabeth had said a silent prayer of thanks when Phoebe started to rub her eyes and yawn. It had taken only half a story for the child to lose herself in a sea of dreams, tucked in her bed with Victoria and Jacqueline on each side.
Without the distraction of Phoebe, Elizabeth’s own mind had started to stir. At first she had been able to reason with herself. Yet with each glance at the clock, her thoughts became more irrational.
Now, mixed with her worry was the lingering dread over the packet of rose scented letters. And what it meant for her and Gabe.
What else could she do but leave? Her heart belonged fully to Gabe. He was the only man she would ever love. But she refused to compromise her longing to marry for love, to tie her future to the one man who would love her with the same intensity she felt f
or him.
Without that, she and Gabe had no future. Seeing the deep love and devotion between her parents had made a strong impression on her. She could not settle for less.
As much as it tore at her, that would have to be a problem dealt with another day. When she wasn’t divided between a craving to take hold of Gabe and keep him close to her—to ensure he was safe—and wanting to run away and be left alone with her heartache.
Besides, Aunt Millie was correct. Elizabeth needed to stop sulking and be strong. She didn’t even know if the man who had attacked her was capable of severe violence. He had struggled with her but she couldn’t shake the thought that if he had meant to harm her, he could have.
“You are right. I’m sorry. I shall believe Gabe will be all right.”
“That’s my girl.”
Elizabeth was about to suggest a game of chess to pass the time, when Jane burst into the room.
“Is Phoebe with you?”
Instant panic brought Elizabeth to her feet. “No. Isn’t she in her bed?”
“No. She was asleep when I left to help one of the housemaids. I was only away but a moment. When I returned she was gone.”
Panic unlike any she had ever known rained down on Elizabeth. It took a moment for her to be able to think. It was like that day in the park all over again.
“She is probably only wandering around the house somewhere,” Aunt Millie interjected.
“I hope so, but . . .” Jane trailed off and Elizabeth knew it was about to get worse.
The maid’s voice now shook. “She left her dolls in her room.”
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