by Lynn, Sophia
"I'm sorry about that," she said, and he only grinned, if a little ruefully.
"Well, about the only thing I'm sorry about is that I couldn't see such an obvious attack coming," he said. "Next time, maybe you'll be the one with red paint all over your shirt."
"Not likely," Marnie said with a smirk, but she continued. "Really though. It didn't even occur to me …"
"To treat me like an outsider?" Philip asked gently.
Marnie looked at him, startled. "What do you mean?"
He sighed, glancing down the hallway to where Victoria was still playing without a care in the world, before turning back to her.
"I love spending time with you and Victoria, I really do. Sometimes … sometimes it feels as if you are keeping me at arm’s length. You treat me as if I'm some kind of foreign dignitary …"
"Which, in all fairness you are," she pointed out, and Philip grinned a little, nodding.
"All right, you treat me as if I'm someone who's going to come and disapprove of everything that you do. From what I've seen? There's nothing to disapprove of. All that's here is a happy family that loves each other."
He paused for a moment, and when he spoke next, his words came out in a great rush, as if he was intent on getting it out all at once. "This is a family that I want to be a part of."
She stared at him, her mouth suddenly dry. "What do you mean?" she managed to get out.
He shrugged, and she didn't think that he had ever looked more helpless or more frustrated. "I don't know. All I know is that I care about you and that I care about Victoria. I want you both to have the best, and I want to be the one to give that to you."
"We're not lovers anymore," she said softly. "That's gone."
The look he gave her was suddenly full of fire. "No, it's not," he countered. "I don't believe that."
"It's been six years since I saw you last, more than that," she said. "I understand that you care about Victoria, but I think that you are letting your feelings about her get mixed up—"
Suddenly, she found herself pinned to the hallway wall, her mouth taken in a deep kiss that threatened to pull her heart from its moorings. She forgot about the fact that her daughter was playing not far away. She forgot about the fact that this man was one with whom she had a conflicted history. She forgot about everything except for the feel of his lips on hers.
Philip was the one who pulled away first. "Don't do that," he whispered, his voice tickling her ear.
She shivered at the sensation before she responded. "What? What shouldn't I do?"
"Don't tell me that my feelings are conflicted or confused. Don't tell me that I am not feeling what I know I am feeling." He paused. "You can always tell me what you're feeling. Tell me that you can't cope with how intense I am, or that I'm not a good influence on Victoria. Tell me that you don't want me or you don't even like me. I'm an adult, and I can take that. Never be afraid to tell me those things. But, Marnie, never tell me what I feel. I know what I feel for you, and it is real. Believe me."
She could have said any number of things here. She might have told him that a man who hadn't been in her life for six years couldn't tell her what to feel, or that he had known of his daughter for less than a month, and that feelings could change. Instead, when Marnie looked within her, she realized that she knew this man. She knew him better than she knew anyone else, and right now, she knew that he was telling her the truth.
"All right," she said softly. "I believe you."
She was rewarded by a wide smile that felt like the sun coming out after a cloudy day.
"Thank you," he said, dropping a kiss on her forehead.
She didn't know what to say just then. Instead, she only pulled back a little. "We should … go see what the little monster is up to," she said. "She's been quiet for too long, I don't trust her …"
Philip smiled. "All right," he said, and impulsively, she squeezed his hand as they walked down the hall.
This is what it's like to have a partner, she thought. Someone who can share the good times with you as well as the bad ones.
She glanced at Philip, who had gone to sit with Victoria again, this time cautioning her to keep her hands to herself.
But does this partner want to stay?
*
Something about that rainy day painting session had changed things. She didn't know quite what had altered things, whether it was their talk in the hallway, or Victoria growing more relaxed around Philip or even perhaps some magical quality about the paint itself, but they seemed to grow closer together.
Previously, she had been the one deciding what they were doing, and Philip had come along happily. Now he was proposing things just as often as she was, and more often than not, he paid their way and took care of everything. For a single mother who had always had to juggle her career and a baby, and then a toddler on her hip, having someone take over once in a while was an exotic, wonderful thing.
Philip stepped into the space they made for him with ease, and though she still called him Philip, Marnie could feel her intelligent daughter gearing up for the conversation of what Philip was to them. When that happened, Marnie was still unsure what she was going to say.
Her own feelings for Philip were as wild and untamed as they had been when she was still almost a girl. She couldn't think of him or look at him without wanting him. Sometimes, when he touched the small of her back or her shoulder, she felt a tingle, as if he had shocked her mildly. After what he had said in the hallway, he seemed content to leave the ball in her court. All she knew was that this beautiful man was driving her to distraction, and she didn't know how much longer she could take it.
Marnie still felt as if she had somehow slipped into another dimension. It had been just her and Victoria for so long that the image of Philip, carrying her little daughter into the small apartment, felt like something that was completely beyond her.
No matter how unbelievable it felt though, he was doing it. After his initial nervousness, he now carried Victoria as if he had done so every night of her life. The little girl was exhausted, her face pressed against his shoulder, her soft hand still somehow holding on to the little sloth stuffed animal that she had wanted at the zoo.
She murmured a sleepy protest as Philip put her down. She blinked around sleepily as if startled at how she had gotten home, and Marnie laughed.
"All right. Brush your teeth and pajamas, it's time for bed."
Victoria put up only a token protest, which Marnie considered a victory. She watched as her daughter dutifully brushed her teeth, and then got into her favorite yellow nightgown. It made her feel like a princess, she whispered, making Philip grin. When she lay down in bed, she kissed her mother good night, but then bit her lip.
"What is it, honey?" Marnie asked.
"Um, I want a kiss from Philip too …"
"Well that's up to Philip …" Marnie said, but Philip stepped up.
"Of course. Anything for a princess."
She giggled as he planted a gentle kiss on her forehead, and then Marnie stood up.
"All right, sweetie, it's time to sleep."
Victoria muttered something that might have been a denial, but her eyes were already drifting closed. With a smile, Marnie herded Philip back out of the room, shutting the door behind her.
"Well that was a busy day," she said, and Philip nodded in agreement.
"How in the hell did you do this when you were by yourself?"
Marnie shrugged. Those had been dark days sometimes, when she had been striving to keep herself and her daughter fed on an office worker's salary, before her book had sold and she started getting more cash coming in.
"Well, I'll be honest, there was a lot of crying and a lot of making every dollar count," she admitted. "But it wasn't all bad. I had lots of friends who wanted to help. They passed on clothing and supplies, lots of good advice, and lots of babysitting."
A dark look passed over Philip's face, and she could
imagine why. His childhood had been one of privilege; one where going without had never even been a real concern, let alone a worry. She braced herself for an attack, but he only nodded.
"You're doing an amazing job, Marnie," he said.
"Of course that doesn't mean that I'm without my vices. Come on. That hot dog at the zoo just wasn't that filling. Let me introduce you to the guilty pleasure of a late night quesadilla."
She didn't tell him that she had made quesadillas for her and Victoria because it was the cheapest thing that they both loved. Still, heating up the tortilla and melting the cheese made for a delicious snack, and when she plated one and handed it to Philip, she could see that he appreciated its charms as well.
"Mmm. As far as guilty pleasures go, there are worse ones."
"As a matter of fact, I have a lot of guilty pleasures," she said with a soft laugh.
"Oh really? Tell me."
There was something vaguely challenging about his gaze, and Marnie realized with a tingle of pleasure that he was standing quite close to her. His black eyes were fixed on her, as if all of the answers in the world could be found on her face, and she remembered what that meant. What that could lead to.
She took a deep breath, aware that her heart was beating faster than it had been, that her lips were dry.
"Well, I love chocolate, especially the sea-salt stuff, because it makes the chocolate taste even sweeter. And I'm a sucker for documentaries, especially ones that talk about alien conspiracies."
Philip snorted, coming a little closer to her. There was always a kind of magnetism between them, but right now, it was so intense that she could almost feel it.
"Not very impressive, Marnie. Come on, another one."
"Ridiculously sugary coffee drinks. Jelly beans. Those premade lunch meals that are supposed to be for kids but that I stash in my bag for a quick pick-me-up when I'm on the go."
There was less than a foot of space separating them now. Marnie knew intimately that if she pushed him away, that Philip would back away. She knew that he wouldn't come any closer unless she wanted him to.
There were so many reasons not to let him get closer. There were so many reasons to be wary of the man who had left six years ago and now appeared again, as handsome as ever and twice as charming.
"What else?" he asked, his voice low and soft.
Marnie swallowed. "Summer nights on the beach. Lollipops. Princes who should know better."
"Well, I can help you with one of those …"
Before she could respond, his mouth came down on hers, his hands landing on the counter behind her so his arms bracketed her, boxing her in. For a moment, she simply relished the feel of his mouth, how hot and warm his lips were, and how long it had been since she had felt the kind of passion that was licking up at her body. It had been so long, and Philip had always felt so very, very good.
When she wrapped her arms around his body, drawing him even closer, he pulled back with a grin. "What do you want, beautiful girl?" he whispered. "Tell me what you want, and let me give it to you."
She pulled in her breath, trembling on the precipice. She knew that if she was thinking clearly, if she was being as careful as she had always sworn she would be, she would have taken the kiss and pulled away. One kiss, that was an acceptable lapse, a guilty pleasure. More than that … more than that would be courting disaster.
She started to tell him that that was enough, that they couldn't do this, but then he reached up to tuck a strand of dark hair behind her ear. The gentle touch of his fingers along the sensitive skin of her ear made her shiver, and then, she simply couldn't stand to be apart from him.
"You," she said, her voice deep and husky. "You. You're what I want …"
Philip's laugh was soft and deep, but there was nothing mocking about it. Instead, there was relief there and a need and a hunger that was just as deep and lasting as hers.
"Beautiful Marnie," he sighed, pulling her into a deep embrace.
This time, he let her feel the raw need he had for her, the way he shook slightly as he kissed her. It had been so long that she felt nearly drunk on him, as if she couldn't get enough of how his skin felt. When he pushed her shirt up to reveal her belly and her breasts, she hesitated for a moment. Her body had changed since he had touched her last like this, and from what the gossip magazines said, he was a man well used to supermodels and actresses. How would a single mother's body compare?
She needn't have worried. He touched her with the same reverence and passion that she remembered from six years ago, and just as before, the fire that always lay banked between them roared to life.
She couldn't get enough of her mouth on his, or of the way his skilled hand slid along her skin, setting it on fire. He was and wasn't the boy she remembered. There was something more certain about him now, something far more assured.
He only stopped kissing her when their mouths were red and slightly raw, pulling back with a grin. "I'm going to make you feel so damned good, Marnie …"
Before she could reply to that, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up on the counter. Now she was looking down at him, and she had never believed that you could drown in someone else's eyes before, but looking into his black gaze, she did believe it now.
He bunched her skirt up around her waist, giving himself all the space he needed to touch her soft bare thighs. For a moment, he simply caressed her legs, making her squirm with need and with desire. He stepped between her legs, making her spread them a little wider as his fingers found her softest flesh. For a few moments, he simply stroked her through the flimsy layer of her panties. The sensation, muffled by cloth, only made her need more. When he pressed the thin layer of fabric aside to touch her flesh directly, she whimpered with need, clinging to his shoulders.
"Say you want me," he whispered huskily. "Tell me that you want this as much as I do."
"I do," she groaned. "I've wanted you … wanted you so much, every night …"
He shivered at her words, but his fingers pressed against her flesh, bold and true to the rhythm set by their bodies. Instinctively, she found her legs locked around his waist, pulling him closer. She thought she would die if she couldn't get closer to him.
Marnie could feel her body tense as the pleasure started to grow more and more intense. It was as if they had spent no time apart at all, and that they had always known each other's bodies so well. Philip was relentless, forcing the heat in her higher and higher until she thought that she was going to burst into flames. Instead, the pleasure raced through her more and more intense until it exploded through her body.
At the last moment, she remembered that Victoria was sleeping just a few thin walls away. She buried her face in Philip's shoulder, muffling her cries in his shirt. Somehow, her orgasm was even more intense when she had to stay quiet. She clung to Philip with all the strength in her limbs, and when she finally pulled back, she grinned at him.
"I must look a real mess," she murmured, her voice as horse as it would be if she had been shouting.
He brushed her hair back out of her face, smiling at her. "No," he said. "You're beautiful. You always are."
"And for a line as sweet as that one, you should be rewarded," she purred.
Philip's breath caught as her hand slid down between them, cupping his cock gently through his trousers. He let out his breath with a soft laugh.
"Hmm, I was, ah, content to leave things as they are, but … but I'll admit that I've been thinking about you doing just that for a while now …"
With a sly grin, Marnie hopped off the counter, letting her clothes fall back into order.
"Come to bed, Philip," she said softly.
His gaze sharpened as she led him to her bedroom, closing and locking the door securely after her. She reached for her clothes, but Philip stopped her.
"Here, let me …"
She stood still, biting her lip slightly as he pulled her clothes away. She remembered when they
were together that they could never wait to get their clothing off. There was something kind here that she hadn't even realized was missing when they were young, something that shone like a diamond.
When she stood naked in front of him, he leaned in and kissed her deeply.
"You are so lovely …"
There was a shining regard there that was hard for her to look at. Instead, she looked away and tugged at his clothing.
"Take these off. I think you've had them on for far too long …"
He stripped, more economically and quickly than he had removed her clothing, but she was still entranced. The body he revealed was athletic perfection, lean and muscled with a thoroughbred grace. Just as she had matured, so had he, and she wasn't sure she had ever seen a man who was so attractive.
"Come here," she whispered, her voice aching with desire, and they fell together onto the bed.
When she was in his arms, it felt like no time at all had passed. She remembered how to kiss him, how to hold him, how to touch him, and his groans told her that she had remembered right.
"Condoms on the nightstand," she said, breathing harder.
When he reached for them, he shot her an amused look at the brand new, unopened box. "Did you have expectations for tonight?" he teased, and she laughed at him.
"A gentleman might not want to presume, but a lady should always act in her own best interests," she said loftily.
Soon enough, Marnie rolled over on her back, pulling him on top of her. The weight of his body felt like heaven on her, and when she felt the blunt tip of his cock at her entrance, she whimpered with need.
He eased into her slowly with a series of slow thrusts, each one entering her a little deeper. She thought that he was going to drive her crazy with desire.
"Please, please, give me more than that," she whispered. "I need you, please …"
Philip's voice was harsh with desire, roughened by effort. "I don't want to hurt you," he said. "That's the last thing I want …"
"You won't hurt me," she said with utter certainty. "You can't. You won't. I know you."