by Tabatha Kiss
“Her existence made achieving my dreams a whole lot harder.”
Cary Pierce told me that himself in his office and I’m damn sure the bastard said the same thing to her when he found out. That’s why she broke up with me. It wasn’t because she wanted to. She thought it was the best thing to do for me and my future.
Well, I disagree.
I stand up off the bench and drop my helmet onto the grass.
“Junior.”
Coach’s bark carries over the rest of the fray. He stares at me with hateful side-eyes, firing a dark warning shot for me to sit back down.
I ignore him.
“Junior!”
Eliza doesn’t know how much she means to me. She doesn’t know how I’d go to hell and back just to see her smile again. She doesn’t know how much I’ve fallen in love with her.
But she’s about to.
I turn away from the field, cutting through the haze of cameras and screaming voices, rushing down the ramp towards the stadium exit.
A hand grips my shoulder. “Junior—”
I jerk away from his grasp; away from Cary Pierce, my childhood hero.
“I’m out,” I tell him.
His hard eyes twinge with amusement. “I never thought you were this stupid, Junior. Don’t give up your dreams over something like this.”
“Playing ball isn’t my dream, Coach.” I turn away. “She is.”
He says nothing and I turn my back on him one last time.
I break into a sprint, peeling off the layers weighing me down as I move. I toss my jersey to the ground, along with my shoulder pads. I won’t be needing them anymore.
I cut through the quad, weaving through the grass, dodging the confused faces of students hanging out, and plow right through the doors of Talon Hall.
The lobby is so silent, I hear the gentle echo of voices on the stage before I even reach the auditorium, including hers.
My Eliza.
“Whoa — hold on.”
Some douchebag stops me in front of the auditorium doors. He stares at me with an upturned nose, flashing me what little authority the theatre department has bestowed upon him. “You can’t go in while the show is on.”
“I need to talk to one of the actors,” I say, nearly choking as I realize how out of breath I am. “It’s important.”
“It can wait until curtain.”
I grunt at him with impatience and take off down the hall, following the sound of her voice around the corner until I find the backstage door.
It’s almost pitch black and I take a quick moment to let my eyes adjust and to catch my breath with my ears tuned to her voice. I smile, recalling the monologue she recited over a dozen times in my bed.
“Junior?”
I squint into the dark curtains until I see Grant’s stunned eyes staring back at me. “Grant—” I rush to him and he holds up his hands.
“What are you doing here?” he whispers. “You can’t be back here.”
“I need to talk to her.”
“Okay, cool,” he nods. “She’s a little busy right now.”
I look over his shoulder and there she is, standing on the other side of the stage. Her hair is curled and dolled up on her head — absolutely nothing like her usual style. A yellow sundress hugs her body and for a second, my mind runs wild.
Soon, her body will change. Our child will grow and kick and someday, I’ll hold it in my arms.
I fall in love with it. I fall in love with her all over again.
“Let me go on.”
Grant blinks. “Umm… no. This is not a wrestling match. I cannot just tag you in.”
“This is the ending, right?” I ask. “Page ninety-seven.”
“… Yeah.”
“I know the scene, man. Ellie and I ran it a thousand times. Let me do it.”
He stares at me. “You’re serious.”
“Completely.”
“You’re gesturing right now, aren’t you?” he asks. “This is a love gesture.”
“Are you going to help me get her back or not?”
Grant smirks and nods, his eyes filling with lovable pride. “Okay.”
I take a quick step around him but he pulls me back.
“Whoa — are you in cleats?”
I look at my shoes. “Yeah.”
“You can’t walk onto a stage in cleats, you filthy savage,” he spits. “Take them off.”
I heave with impatience and kick them at the wall behind us while Grant slides his suit jacket off.
“Put this on, too,” he says. “You’ll look ridiculous but it’s better than whatever the hell it is you’re wearing now.”
“Thanks, Grant.” I throw the jacket on. “I owe you one.”
“You’re lucky I’m a hopeless romantic…” He shakes his head. “Mr. Young will never cast me in anything ever again after this…”
“I’ll make it worth your while.”
“Please don’t fuck this up.”
“I won’t.” I sneak a peek between the curtains at the audience and I twitch with hesitation. “Holy shit — that’s a lot of people out there…”
Grant slaps my cheek. “Man up, Lover Boy. That’s your cue.” He spins me around and gives me a firm shove through the doorway. “It’s showtime.”
I stumble out onto the stage and bright, white lights bear down on my face, instantly blinding me with their harsh beams. There’s a hum of confused voices but I can barely see them behind the spots taking hold of my vision.
Eliza turns to me and she freezes with a mix of anger and surprise invading her face. She studies me from my head to my socks, not once blinking her icy, blue eyes.
Oh, shit.
What the hell am I doing?
Chapter 30
Eliza
What the hell is he doing?
The audience shifts in their seats but I stiffen my neck to avoid breaking the fourth wall. I keep my eyes on Junior, trying not to show shock but holy shit — what the hell is happening right now?
Grant waves at me from backstage, making a quick gesture with his hands, urging me to continue on like normal but I can’t stop every muscle in my body from shaking.
A tear slides down my cheek and I wipe it away. “It’s over,” I say to Junior.
He doesn’t hesitate. “I don’t accept that.”
My lip quivers. “I don’t care what you accept,” I say, slipping as far into character as possible but part of me still shines through. “It’s over, we’re done. I can’t do this anymore.”
Junior steps forward with nervous energy, his eyes obviously so tempted to look out at the gawking crowd but he keeps his focus on me instead. “You’ve sung this song before, Nora. What makes this any different than any other time you’ve run away from us in the last ten years?”
“It’s…” I inhale deep, forcing the emotions just below the surface. “It’s the first time I’ve thought more with my head and not my heart.” My chest tightens, feeling every word. “This is the right thing for both of us, Danny. I know it.”
“If this is right…” he pauses. “Then why does it feel so wrong?”
“It feels wrong because we don’t know any better. You just need a little time to think about it like I have.”
“Nora, I don’t give a good goddamn what your head thinks,” he says. “All I care about is what that beautiful heart of yours feels. It feels the same as mine.”
Junior steps closer and I brace myself for the next line.
“I love you,” he says. “I’ve always loved you since the day I saw you and I refuse to let you go.”
“Love isn’t enough,” I say, my heart breaking.
“I will spend the rest of my life proving that it is.” He cups my face and wipes the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. “I don’t care what I have to give up. It’s you and me, Nora. It always will be.”
He kisses me and the music cues on, rising to a crescendo before the lights go black. The curtain falls, drawing a sudden, he
avy clamor of applause from the other side.
I break our kiss and shove him away with all the strength I have.
“Junior, what the hell are you doing here?!” I squint at him in the dark, making out the sincere shock on his face.
“Ellie, I—”
I shove him again, just barely rocking his muscled body backward. “Do you have any idea how stupid that was?! Did you even think about it for more than two seconds?!”
He grabs my hands before I can pull off another hit. “Ellie, stop! We need to talk.”
“You bet your ass we do!” I tug my wrists free and point at Grant lingering nearby with the rest of the cast and crew. “And you!”
“Don’t blame him,” Junior says, blocking my hand. “It was all my idea.”
“It was your idea to embarrass me? To ruin any chance of me ever standing on that stage again?!”
“Ms. Pierce!”
I jolt at Mr. Young’s fierce growl, counting down the seconds until I can say my theatre education is officially over. “Mr. Young, I am so sorry—”
He stops in front of me but his eyes instantly lock on Junior. “What happened? Who the hell are you?”
I swallow the fear down. “Sir, I can explain—”
“You have quite the stage presence, young man,” he says, glancing Junior up and down. “I can’t say you chose the best of moments to showcase your abilities but I appreciate tenacity when I see it.”
Junior blinks. “Thanks?”
Young turns to me. “You kept it together up there, Eliza. I like an actress that can handle a curve ball.”
I heave a thick sigh. “Thank you, sir.”
“Let’s make sure tomorrow’s shows go just as smoothly, everybody!” he says, addressing the entire crew. “And can we please lock the back doors next time?”
Young wanders off and I spin towards the dressing rooms before Junior can grab me again.
“Ellie—”
“Go away, Junior,” I snap, holding back every tear I have left in me. “I told you we couldn’t see each other anymore.”
“Don’t I have a say in that?”
I push the door closed behind me but he throws it open to follow me in. “No. I said it and I meant it and no amount of gesturing is going to change my mind.”
Junior furrows his brow. “Is that a theatre thing? I’ve never heard of it before.”
“Get out.”
“No.” He stands up a little taller. “I said that unrealistic, crappy dialogue to you but I meant every word of it. I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. I love you, Ellie.”
“Junior, you…” I inhale deep, feeling the sharp stab of guilt in my gut. He has no idea what he’s getting into because I was too much of a coward to tell him. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
“I know,” he whispers.
I shake my head. “No, Junior. I really have—”
He takes a long stride towards me and kisses me but that just makes me feel even worse.
“I know, Ellie.” He grabs my hand and entwines our fingers together with a tight grip.
I look into his eyes and my breath catches in my throat. “You know?”
“I know,” he nods. “And I love you.”
“How do you know?”
He hesitates. “Your dad told me.”
My face falls. “Why did he…?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he says, nudging my chin up to make me look at him.
“Wait—” I look at his outfit. “Why aren’t you at the game?”
Junior pauses but his touch on me never ceases. “He wanted me to choose so I made a choice.”
My eyes fill with tears. “Junior, no—”
“Yes.”
“You can’t give that up for me.”
“I already have.”
“But—”
“But nothing, Ellie. I’m in. I told you that before and nothing has changed. I’ll never let anyone take you from me.” His hand falls to my belly and his warm touch fires a spark throughout my body. “Or this.”
I let the tears fall. “Promise?”
He draws an X over his chest and kisses me again, sealing his promise.
SEPTEMBER
Chapter 31
Eliza
Junior takes my hand and gives it a light, reassuring squeeze.
I glance at him beside me on the couch through my peripheral vision and he rolls his eyes at me.
“Don’t think I didn’t see that, young man,” Bonnie says, pointing a finger at him from the loveseat across the room.
“Mom, we already said no… about thirteen times now,” he says.
“Not that we don’t appreciate the offer…” I add.
“Right,” he nods. “But… no.”
She sighs. “Well, why not?”
I chuckle at her desperation and everyone else sitting around does, too.
Ty and Grant hold it back the best so they don’t appear rude in her home but I can see the humor dancing in their eyes.
Maggie lets it all out, cackling hard at her little brother’s expense while Nate keeps his head down beside her.
Roy just shakes his head quietly from his chair.
“Because…” Junior says. “I don’t want to move back in with my parents.”
“Well, this isn’t only about you, Junior.” She gestures at me. “This is about Eliza and what she needs.”
“Really, Bonnie. Thank you, but…” I hesitate, trying to think of the best way to say it without offending her. “I have all the support I need near campus. We’ve been getting along great…”
“But it’s far quieter out here,” she argues, her voice sounding more eager and scripted than usual. “You can’t raise a baby by a college campus. It’s too noisy! Especially now that the stadium will surely sell out for every game.”
“It’s fine, Mom,” Junior says. “The condo Ty’s cousin found us is far enough away that noise hasn’t been an issue.”
Bonnie flinches at the word condo. “But what about daycare?” she fires back. “It’s far too expensive nowadays. If the three of you move in here, then I can take care of the baby while you’re in class or at football practice.”
“You live an hour away from campus, Mom,” he points out. “The daily commute would probably cost the same as daycare.”
“I’m taking the fall semester off,” I say. “We don’t have to worry about the daycare situation until spring.”
Grant points at me. “And you absolutely have to be back by then,” he says. “Shakespeare showcase!”
I smile at him. “I won’t miss it.”
“What about you, little brother?” Maggie asks, her cheeks pink with wine. “Will you be gracing us with your amazing stage presence again next semester?”
Junior glares at her. “You’re not going to let me live that down, are you?”
“Never,” she grins.
“No,” he answers. “I’ll be sticking with football.”
Nate leans forward. “Have they chosen a new coach?”
The air shifts and Junior squeezes my hand a little tighter.
“Yes,” Ty answers. “Well, kind of. Bob is taking over and he’s nailing it so far, in you ask me.”
Junior nods. “He’s doing great, yeah. Not surprising, though, he’s been around forever and he knows what he’s doing.”
Bonnie sighs to pull attention back on her. “Okay — fast forward to spring and we’re right back to square one,” she says, gesturing with zeal. “What are you going to do with the baby then?”
Roy finally chimes in. “Bonnie, the kids have made their decision.”
“But they have better options.”
“I’m sure they’ve considered every single option available to them and they’ve decided, together, to do what they feel is best for them and their family.”
“But they don’t—”
“Remember when Maggie was born and how you used to complain about my mother not leaving us alone?”
>
Her jaw drops and the room cringes. “This is completely different…”
“No, it’s not.”
The doorbell rings and Junior shoots up off the couch. “I’ll get it!”
“Don’t leave me…” I whine.
He grins and drops my hand, abandoning me to fend for myself.
“Eliza…” Roy says, looking at me. “We’re just a phone call away if you two need anything. You know that.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Anything at all,” Bonnie says.
I smile. “Thank you. Really, though, we’re fine. We’ve figured out our routine and I don’t expect any big surprises to come knocking anytime soon.”
“Ellie…”
I look up at Junior and pause, catching sight of the familiar face lingering behind him in the open doorway.
My father.
I stand up, driven by shock but I can’t bring myself to step any closer.
He looks at me over Junior’s shoulder with soft eyes and a long expression, neither of which I’ve ever seen on him before. It’s strange, almost foreign, like an alien wearing his face as a mask. I don’t feel an ounce of hatred or fear of him. I thought I would if I ever saw him again.
“I would like to talk to my daughter in private, please,” he says.
Junior doesn’t budge. “That’s up to her.”
“Junior…” He turns to me and I nod. “It’s okay.” I push forward through the silent room and Junior steps aside, his eyes asking me for reassurance and I nod again. “We can go out back.”
My father walks in and scans the room, vastly outnumbered. “Hello,” he says, nodding awkwardly at their wide, unblinking eyes.
I always forget how much of a celebrity my father is. Even after everything he’s done, it’s difficult for them not to look at him like that; Junior being the obvious exception in the room. There’s a subtle anger hidden behind his calm, brown eyes.
“Come on.” I lead my father through the house to the backyard, feeling Junior’s watchful stare on me the entire time — even after closing the door behind us but I can’t spot him at all in the windows.
Silence falls between us despite months of planning what I’d say to him. All the anger and frustration I imagined melts away and it’s mostly pity that takes their place.