Easy and Poke started to protest and Freedom held up a hand and stopped them. “You don’t get to tell me what the fuck I am doing, and you definitely don’t get to offer an opinion of what my personal life is going to be. The only reason I am standing here right now is that no matter what else happens, I want to see the fuckers who did this to me burn. The fuckwad DA may be in your back pocket, but he is doing something I believe in. I want my pound of flesh for what happened to me. After that, I am gone. Nothing you can do or say will change my damn mind because when push came to shove, I was still on my own in that fucking room. I don’t have a family, a husband, a father, brother, sister, mother, and I don’t want one, it hurts to fucking bad when they let you down.”
The men shifted in the room, all of them feeling more and more shitty about the decision that was made. Shady stood and clapped her hands and the Bitches all came and surrounded her.
“Fine, you want closure, I can give you that. Trick is the one who outted you to the Diablos. She is in the shed being held until we decide what to do with her. The Bitches voted, we were just waiting for you ‘cause we didn’t want to make it more difficult for you to deal with. She betrayed the club, and you. She gets the same thing that happened to you. Come on, let’s get it over with,” Shady said and held out her arm.
Holding her head up high, Freedom followed as Treat led them to the back shed. The place had been holding extra guns they were transporting, but since everything that happened, it had turned into their holding cell. When Shady opened the door Freedom saw Trick lying on a bed. There was nothing in the room but a bed and a toilet. Trick stood, and Freedom saw the chain that was attached to her ankle. She wore dirty clothes that looked like she had worn them for a long time, probably since she had been in here. The faded t-shirt and sweat pants had been torn in a few places. The place smelled of body order and urine, but Freedom didn’t care, she only had eyes for Trick.
“Oh look, they brought the broken little doll,” Trick sneered and Freedom looked at her in surprise. The woman was being held a prisoner, and she was being a cunt?
“You are too stupid for words,” Freedom muttered.
Trick shrugged, “Fuck you, I got what I wanted, you are broken. None of these guys are gonna touch you again.”
Shady and the other girls had filed into the room with a chair and some other stuff but Freedom never took her eyes off the woman who had arranged for her to be kidnapped. No remorse, no fear, and no brains. The men were standing outside the shed waiting—for what she didn’t know or care.
At that moment, Freedom knew the club was offering her something she was never going to get otherwise, vengeance. She also realized that if she asked, they would let Trick go, because they had waited for her to make the final decision; her vengeance was what mattered.
She had changed, she thought. The Freedom who had been the naïve little waif who first walked into the strip club was dead, and the woman who was standing there in the make shift prison was stronger, she had survived, and would survive, no matter what her life held, she was going to live. It was how she was going to live was the choice in front of her. She could go back to her solitary life as a nobody, or she could truly become a member of the Bitches.
For the last few weeks she had been lonely, she had missed Shady, and all of the guys. Even in her head she knew what Shady had said was true in the clubhouse, about them sending her away to protect her, it was still how they did it that pissed her off. If something like this happened again, would they do the same thing? Would she let them, she thought that was the question, because she realized she had given them the choice to send her away by making the statement she had. She should have told them to fuck off and not run with her tail between her legs, but she hadn’t thought of it then, she had been to hurt.
The Freedom who showed on the first day here and the woman standing in the room, was not the same person, she had faced death, had her heart broken, and was now harder than she had ever thought possible. She smelled cigarette smoke, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw a few of the guys had lit up. Shady and the other women had grabbed Trick and were strapping her into a chair. This was the moment of truth, who had woken up in the hospital that day, Freedom thought.
Trick had been yelling at the girls, telling them that whatever they did it wouldn’t change the fact that she had broken Freedom.
“You can’t bring sweet little bitches in this life, Shady. You know that, I did what had to be done because she would never have worked here. She was making us weaker. So if you want to beat me or whatever it is not going to change the fact with her here, you are all weak,” Trick yelled.
Freedom felt something inside her snap, her decision was made. A cold steel door shut off her heart, because Trick was right, the old Freedom had been weak, but the new one was so much more than what she thought, and she had the scars to prove it. No more feeling sorry for herself, no more letting people hurt her. If she wanted something, she was going to fight for it; no one was going to make choices about her life anymore.
She was in control.
She stepped out into the sun, snapped the cigarette out of Rock’s lips, and then stepped back into the room. Slowly, Freedom walked to the struggling woman who was smirking at her and taunting her now.
“Oh look, the sweet little doll is smoking now. What are you gonna do next, doll, steal some liquor and get drunk in your closet. Go forty miles an hour in a thirty mile an hour zone, you are such a rebel,” she spat the words at her.
Freedom never said a word to the woman; her breath would have been wasted. Once she was standing in front of her, the woman laughed at the look on her face and Freedom still didn’t respond. Instead, she lifted the cigarette to her lips and she sucked in the burning tar and made the tip glow. She blew out the smoke into the woman’s face instead of inhaling because she wasn’t stupid. Trick laughed and shook her head.
Freedom flicked the end of the cigarette so the ashes fell to the ground and then blew on the end again, lighting the tip. Without a blinking an eye, she pushed the cigarette into the side of Trick's neck, creating a sizzling noise that was covered up by the woman screaming. She smelled the burning flesh smell again for the second time in her life, and this time, it didn’t faze her. With an emotionless stare, she flicked the now extinguished smoke on the floor and then slapped Trick across the face so hard the woman's head snapped to the side.
For the first time since she had stepped into the room, she felt the woman’s fear, it was the same feeling she had when she was tied to the table. “You deserve everything they do to you.”
Freedom turned and walked out of the room, not looking at any of the club members. As the door swung shut behind her she heard the scream of pain echoing through the air—she kept walking.
“Think she is strong enough now?” Creed said sadly to the guys who were standing there. Easy and Poke nodded their heads and followed their woman, knowing they had a long road to ride to reach forgiveness.
Chapter Twenty-One
Pill and Meat were waiting in the clubroom when Freedom entered in the back door. She walked to Pill who was still in a wheelchair and bent over, kissing the man on the cheek. Then she looked up at Meat, pulled his face down, and did the same.
“You take care of that?” Pill said gruffly and Freedom just nodded and then walked to the stairs and silently climbed them alone. She knew where she was going, the only place she had. On the third floor, she walked without hesitation to the bedroom she had once occupied. She saw her clothes and belongings had been replaced, and that someone had decorated it for her. It now looked like the other rooms on the floor, with pretty colors that used match her style and pictures hanging on the wall that she would have once loved. They were of flower gardens and the ocean.
They had tried to show her that this was her home, where she belonged, but she was no longer the woman that had left here. With a sigh, she went and pulled the thick covers back and crawled into the comfortable bed. She n
eeded to sleep, and then she would figure out where to go from here. The one thing she did know, was that Easy and Poke were her past, and her future was going to be alone in the sense of loving someone, because there was no way she was opening her heart again, it was impossible because next time she would die if her heart was broken.
*****
Poke and Easy found her in the bedroom after talking to Pill and Meat. They didn’t like the look in Freedom’s eyes; it was as if she was completely gone. The sweet smile she once had, and the shy way she looked at them, would never be seen again they feared. She closed herself off, and neither man knew how to open her back up.
However, they weren’t giving up, they never would. Freedom was their one chance at happiness and they were going to do whatever it took to bring her back. They had started by making sure when she came home her things were back in place. She hadn’t had much, but it was back, and they had gotten more. Pictures, blankets, little things to put around her room, all with the hopes she would see that they wanted her to stay and make this place a home.
They sat in the sectional and watched her sleep from the main room, not wanting to disturb her, but needing to be close. If they thought they could have gotten away with it, both men would have been in the bed with her, surrounding her with love until the light came back into her eyes.
“It's worse than I thought,” Poke whispered.
Easy nodded and then said, “She looked shattered.”
Creed and the other leaders stepped into the room. “Shady called for a clean up, they finished it quick, didn’t want to spend time with the bitch. She is showering on the floor below, will be up in a few minutes.”
They knew Shady and the Bitches had killed Trick, it was their way. They would never have let a betrayal go like that, unless Freedom would have asked. She hadn’t, so none of them felt guilty over her death. They only felt guilty over what had happened to Freedom.
“Do what you got to do, man,” Creed said and the others nodded. “She is hurting with good reason, but not going to change anything. She needs to come back into the fold and know we are not going to fuck up like that again with her. We got her back.”
“Saying it and her accepting it are two separate things,” Easy said.
“Then think of a way to show it,” Rock snorted.
Easy and Poke nodded. The guys grabbed some beers and sat down with them to keep vigil. When Shady entered she was wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top. She stared at them for a moment and then went to Freedom’s room and crawled into bed with her without hesitation.
The men held their breaths as they watched Freedom roll over and look to see who was with her. Shady opened up her arms and Freedom slid into them without a sound. Creed nodded, stood, and went to his room, the others followed more slowly, but Poke and Easy remained where they were—waiting.
*****
Freedom woke up twice during the day and through the night, each time she had been screaming and thrashing. Shady had held her and had whispered to her until she calmed down and went back to sleep. She didn’t get up from the bed except to go to the bathroom and change her clothes into a pair of shorts and tank.
The men had seen the tears in Shady’s eyes when she had seen the scars on Freedom’s body and told them about it when she had come out to eat. The men had been silent and just listened.
The following morning Freedom woke and got out of bed and stared at Easy and Poke who were in the same spot as they had been since she went to bed. She had felt them there when they came upstairs yesterday, and she had heard the murmur of the men as they had been joined. Freedom hadn't cared. Shady had whispered to her when she was awake how sorry she was and how the men always thought they knew more than they did. She never excused what had happened, but she did apologize for the cluster fuck that led to her being so hurt.
Then she talked to her about family, and about forgiveness, and finally about her feelings. Shady had a shitty childhood, molested by her mother’s boyfriend for a year before she ran off. Last night, she told Freedom how when Freedom had arrived to the strip club, she had been drawn to her goodness. It wasn’t something Shady had ever seen. She had come to crave her company because being with Freedom brought out the good in her that she thought she had long lost.
Freedom turned and went into the bathroom she shared with the two men and took her shower. She noticed all of her things were back where they had been, and all of her favorite soaps and shampoos were there as well. When she was done, she wrapped a towel around her and went into her closet, then paused. None of the clothes seemed right to her. They belonged to the old Freedom, not the new one. She looked over her shoulder and looked at the room, it was all wrong, it wasn’t her anymore. Who was she? she thought and looked at the pastels that decorated her room, and the cute tops and skirts in her wardrobe.
She saw the lacy red underwear set she had worn the night of her first party and picked them up. She put on the skimpy little pieces and then turned back to the clothes, there was nothing. Ignoring all of her clothes, she reached up and began taking them off the hanger, throwing them into her room on the floor. With each piece she threw, she was reinventing herself, burying the old Freedom, because she would never surface again.
She heard footsteps but didn’t look up. She continued until she was done. Then she walked into the bedroom, still only wearing the lacy underwear. She put her hands on her hips and surveyed the room. She began pulling off the pictures that were on the wall and laying them gently on the floor next to the pile of clothes. She removed any trace of the woman she once was. When she was done, she turned and looked at the group that had gathered at her room’s entrance. Easy and Poke looked worried and the other men looked confused. Only Shady had the look of understanding on her face.
“Come on, boys, looks like we are going shopping. Take all this to goodwill and we will be back,” Shady said and held out her hand to Freedom who took it and allowed herself to be pulled into her friend’s room. Shady handed her a pair of short shorts and a tank top. Freedom changed, grabbed a pair of flip-flops and followed Shady to her car. The rest of the Bitches were there, waiting. Bob had returned from her trip and was introduced to Freedom, she still hadn't said a word. The only thing they had heard her say was to Trick.
Poke ran out of the house with a credit card and handed it to Freedom. She looked at him in surprise when she saw her name on the card. She had no account so she looked at Shady who was nodding. “You are a Bitch, you may think that was taken away but it wasn't, you are part of the family and part of the earnings. When you are ready, you will resume taking over the books.”
Freedom nodded and put the card into her back pocket and they were off. Three hours later Freedom was dressed in her new outfit. A pair of leather pants that hung low on her waist, and her brand new Bitches shirt that had been ordered and picked up. Her long red hair was now hanging on her shoulders instead of in a ponytail like it had been for the last month.
She stopped after they put the bags into the truck and turned to the group of women and finally opened her mouth.
“Am I really a Bitch?” she asked firmly.
Shady and the others didn’t hesitate, nodding 'yes'.
“Then I want the mark,” she said flatly and Shady looked at her in surprise.
“Well,” Shady started and said.
“Nope, either I am or I am not. Not asking for permission to belong,” she said.
“Fine,” Shady said and nodded. “Let’s go get some ink, ladies.”
Freedom smiled for the first time since she had been let out of the hospital. It was not her normal sweet innocent smile. No, this smile was better than that, this smile showed the woman she had become—confidant, strong, assertive.
Three hours later Freedom walked out of Slinging Ink with her first tattoo on the top of her breast. Kink had been working and had hesitated until he saw the look in Freedom’s eyes.
They drove back to the clubhouse and hauled all of her bags int
o the room. The men had moved all of the old stuff out. Together the women hung up her new clothes, then decorated the room with the deep purples and reds she had purchased. The white comforter was thrown out into the large room and a beautiful red and purple satin comforter took its place. The pictures on the wall were of lightning strikes, purple and dark. When they were done Freedom stepped back and smiled.
“Thanks,” she said to the girls who all hugged her and left. All but Shady, who stood next to her and nudged her shoulder. “So what other knew things can we expect to see?” Shady teased.
“So much more.” Freedom laughed and hugged her friend. It was time to start her new life.
The men each walked to the entrance and stared nodding but Freedom ignored them. Easy and Poke tried to compliment her on the choice of colors and she didn't reply. She knew it wouldn’t last, but for now, she could only deal with so much.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“I don’t fucking like it,” Easy roared. The men all nodded and sat still, they called a meeting and were currently talking about Freedom. Two days ago, she had come home, and yesterday she had transformed. This morning she woke up and spoke to Creed about starting work.
“She said she's ready,” Creed said firmly.
“Freedom is still recovering,” Poke yelled. Both men were frustrated.
Sharing Freedom Page 17