Tears were threatening to force my hurt outwards but I bit my tongue and pushed them back. They didn’t deserve my upset. I’d been with Camron for eighteen months and we’d moved in together five months ago. Into his apartment. I’d given up my own tenancy, stupidly, and when it hit me that I now had nowhere to go, I groaned in frustration.
Low and behold, my wonderful boyfriend appeared in the doorway, naked as the day he was born, with his cock pointing towards me as though leading him the way.
“Shit.” I heard him hiss under his breath. He took a quick glance behind him, then had the decency to smile at me. “Hey, baby.”
I stood before him with no words. They all escaped me. The pounding of my heart hurt and I winced with every single beat.
“Milly…”
I shook my head and held my hands up as he made his way towards me. “Don’t. Don’t.”
“I, uhh…” He dropped his face to the floor and sighed heavily.
“How long… have you been fucking her?” I was surprised by the steadfastness in my voice. I didn’t feel strong, or composed. I wanted to shout and bawl. I wanted to drop to my knees and scream into the air. But none of those things happened.
“Look, I…”
“ANSWER ME! HOW LONG?”
I did notice that Lisa was nowhere in sight, but that didn’t surprise me.
“A couple of months.”
I nodded, proud that my tears hadn’t begged for escape. “You know what hurts the most?” I whispered. His eyes finally lifted to me. “Lies, Cam. Lies. You know that! We made a pact. How could you, of all people, lie to me after everything I told you?”
He squeezed his eyes closed. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry.” I scoffed. “How big of you.”
He was watching me warily, worry the most evident emotion on his face. I wanted to give him an answer for that worry, but I knew if I laid one finger on him I wouldn’t be able to stop, and then I’d move on to… her. They didn’t deserve my freedom. Prison was an ugly place and I wasn’t willing to go there for them. Especially not for them.
“Milly. We’ve been together for over eighteen months.” He sighed quietly. “And still I feel like I don’t know you. I need more than just an occasional chat and a hard fuck. Be honest, tell me you love me.”
I tensed when my mouth dried and the words on the tip of my tongue slid back down my throat.
He shook his head sadly. “See, you can’t even give me that. You never give me anything, Mil, and I can’t...” He shrugged, knowing the conversation we’d had millions of times would go nowhere. “I’m sorry. I should have told you, yes. But,” he shrugged again, “I never wanted to hurt you.”
I nodded. There was nothing more to say really.
Camron physically relaxed with my slow nod as I walked over to him. I gave him a small smile. “I know, but I did care for you, a hell of a lot.”
He nodded.
And then I hit him. Hard. His body flew back and the crack of his spine on the wall with the force of my punch made me smile wider. “That’s for mocking my arse, you fucking prick!”
And then I left before I got my hands on my best friend – sorry, EX best friend.
Two
Geoffrey looked up at me from where he sat at his desk. The small lamp was the only light in his office, in most of the building actually. It was late. I had driven round for hours, and then knowing my boss would still be at work, I’d gone straight there.
“Milly?”
He shot out of his chair when the sob that had been fighting to free itself all night finally made a shocking appearance. Wrapping me in his arms he directed me onto the small couch in his office and slowly sat me down.
“What’s happened?”
“Camron,” I whispered.
Geoffrey, as if he’d expected it, looked at me with sorrow and nodded. “Ahh. He’s a fool, Milly.”
I shrugged. “He said I was too closed off and that he couldn’t connect with me.”
Geoffrey tutted. “As I said…”
I looked out at the dark night through the window and watched the rain pour down the glass when Geoffrey stood and fixed us both a hard drink. “He’s right.”
His brows pinched at my truth. “No, Milly. You’ve gone through so much, surely he understands that it’s hard for you to trust easily.”
I shrugged, taking a sip of the whisky. Its burn lit a fire in my belly. “He promised me, Geoffrey, he promised to always be truthful with me.”
Sitting beside me, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me softly against him. His unique smell of cigars, subtle fabric softener and whisky sent a familiarity through me and I relaxed against him. I had often wondered, all those years ago, what it would be like to be held by a loving father, a father who didn’t use you as bait in a war. Geoffrey showed me that, he showed me how it should be between father and daughter. I couldn’t love a man more than I did Geoffrey.
“You know how much I care about you, Milly,” he said softly into the top of my hair. “And because I do, I’m going to say something that you may not like, but I’ll abide by your rules, and I’ll be honest.”
Closing my eyes, I waited for the words I knew would hurt me.
“You have to learn to trust. Faith in someone is earned, and try as people might, you still hold back from them. Even me. I understand your hesitancy, hell, after everything I know how hard it must be to…”
We both stilled when what sounded like a gunshot rang out, its echo bouncing along the empty corridors. From what I could make out it seemed to have come from the floor below and reverberated up the stairwell.
“What was that?” Geoffrey whispered when I yanked him behind the couch. Shushing him with a finger to his lips, I shook my head at him, telling him to be quiet.
“Stay here.”
His eyes widened on me. “What are you…?”
He groaned loudly, making my teeth snap together when he saw me pull the gun from my bag and take off the safety. “You told me you’d got rid of that!”
“I fibbed,” I whispered as I zeroed my eyes on the window that looked out into the dark hallway.
“Milly,” Geoffrey urged. “You’re not that girl anymore.”
I looked at him and sighed. “Trust me, you need that girl right now.”
He made a grab for my hand when I moved from behind the sofa. “Milly, no.”
“Stay here. Do not move until I get back. Promise me, Geoffrey. Promise me!”
He closed his eyes in frustration but nodded. “Be careful.”
“Always!” I returned with a wink before I shifted across the room and flicked off his desk light. Poking my head out of the door that had thankfully been left open I listened but the air was as still as my heart, the old familiar cold emotion that trickled into my veins making my senses seem superior. It had been so long that I wasn’t sure if I could cope with the rush of blood that had once excited me beyond any other feeling in the world.
I was thankful the lights were out as I crept along, peering into each window as I made my way down the hallway. Nothing other than my own breathing could be heard and the rampant thud of adrenaline banged in my ears as I stealthily made my way through.
Just as I hit the door for the stairwell, a gunshot from the other side of the floor made my breath stutter.
“Fuck!”
I ran back, my little legs moving faster than they ever had. As I sped around the corner onto the hallway that housed mine and Geoffrey’s office, I slammed to a halt when I saw the back of a man running down the corridor.
Lifting my gun, I cursed myself at the shake in my hands. I’d never trembled before. Not once. And the moment in my life where I prayed for a still hand, I took the split second I needed to try and calm myself.
Just as I pressed the trigger, he disappeared behind the corner and the bullet embedded into the wall in the exact place where his head had been.
“Shit!”
I sprinted after h
im but just as I passed Geoffrey’s office I heard a sound that made my stomach lurch up my throat. As if in slow motion, I turned my face to the room.
Geoffrey’s dark eyes found mine and a scream of grief pushed past the vomit and burst from me.
“Geoffrey!” I skidded down beside him, taking his hand in my own as I growled at the hole in his chest. The beige colour of the carpet was subdued by his bright red blood. My lungs emptied in a sudden gush and refused to refill.
“Milly…” he croaked.
“Sh. Sh. Shh,” I pleaded with him as I tore at my dress and thrust the piece of material over the wound. A small smile lifted his lips and he stared up at me.
“Promise… promise you’ll keep Sparrow…. yours. Don’t let them…”
“Shh, Geoffrey.”
I hated the tears that were spilling from me and angrily I swiped at them with one hand.
“Please – promise…”
I nodded, the sob that broke from me making the vomit again try for freedom. “I promise.”
And then he was gone.
A man that had plucked me from hell and believed in me left me all alone.
And I hated him for that. As much as I loved him, I hated him.
“You promised you would never leave me,” I whispered as my face dropped to his chest and I cried.
They all left. They all left eventually.
Three
Six weeks later
I was sick of hearing the drum of my own fingers on the desk. My bottom lip resembled a bashed piece of rump steak after all the chewing of my teeth, and my stomach growled with the knots twisting inside it. Three bloody hours they’d been in there. I prayed to Geoffrey to help me out, but I also knew how damn selfish his family were. They were greedy. They used their own father for his money and never once, as long as I’d been his assistant had they visited him, unless of course they needed cash.
Tony Banks, one of the Sparrow administrators came to stand in my office doorway. I could tell by the way he sighed and looked at me warily.
“Fuck!” I hissed.
“Sorry, Milly. I did everything I could.”
“Greedy fuckers.”
He nodded and then walked inside, closing my door quietly. “You should have seen them, they were like vultures. They were given an offer they couldn’t refuse, Milly.”
“It’s not right,” I growled. “They know nothing about their father’s company.”
“That’s why they sold it as quickly as possible.”
My stomach turned over. Tony took off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes as he perched himself on the edge of my desk. He looked tired, the last few weeks of uncertainty and trying to keep Sparrow Towers away from the vultures exhibited in the newly appeared lines on his face.
“They brought in their own admin. Complete takeover.”
My eyes widened on him as my stomach sunk even further. “What?”
Tony nodded, a sadness in his eyes that made my mouth dry. “Government approved. We’re all out.”
Anger coursed through me at a velocity I didn’t think I could handle. “But surely they can’t do that!” I dropped my voice to a defeated whisper, “I promised him, Tony.”
He tipped his head to the side, watching me sombrely as he shook his head.
“I failed him. The one thing he ever asked of me and I failed.”
Grasping my hand, he squeezed it tightly. “You didn’t fail, Milly. You can’t lose if you were never in the game.”
“This is bullshit!”
McKayla, my best friend and work colleague, walked through the door, closing it quietly behind her. Her face said it all. “I can’t believe we’re all out of a job.” Her eyes filled with tears as she perched her backside on the edge of my desk. “I’ve just taken out a mortgage for Christ’s sake! There’s no way Tim’s wages alone will cover it.”
My heart sank for her. For three years her and her fiancé, Tim, had been scrimping and saving every last penny for a deposit on a house. They had finally made it six months ago and had moved into a small semi of their dreams last month.
“Tell me about it,” Tony grumbled. “My car will have to go back.”
Although I wasn’t wealthy, I still had enough money put aside for emergencies. However, it would quickly deplete after a few months of no work.
Furious with Geoffrey’s children, and myself, I shook my head. “I’m so sorry, guys.”
“It’s not your fault, Mil,” McKayla urged, taking my hand and giving it a small squeeze.
Tony nodded, agreeing with her as he stood. “Well, I better go and clear out my desk as the new CEO of Sparrow Towers just informed us all.”
“Warne industries now, Tony,” McKayla corrected with a harsh bitterness.
Tony sighed, disappearing through the door without another word.
“Kay,” I called to my friend before she left behind him.
She turned to me, her pretty blue eyes still watery.
“I have some savings. If you need any cash until you find something else, you let me know.”
She scowled at me but nodded. I knew she wouldn’t accept my offer and I prayed that she’d swallow her pride for once instead of sinking with the ship. “I’m sure something will turn up, Mil. Besides,” she smiled finally, “Who could turn down this?” She ran her hands over her hourglass figure and gave me a wink before leaving me to the loneliness of my office, the loneliness that had crept up on me since Geoffrey’s death.
Sighing, I logged out of the company system, the pc powering down bringing on a fresh wave of more quiet, and stood. My heart hurt as I took one last look around my office before walking through the adjoining door that led to Geoffrey’s personal office. It was more like a suite, the size of it big enough to hold every single item in my pokey house. I’d always loved Geoffrey’s office. It housed a small private bathroom that I’d always been jealous of. Geoffrey had practically lived in his office and many times I’d found him in a morning curled up on the plump leather sofa that transformed into a small but comfy bed. Yet although it was large it was tastefully decorated. Geoffrey didn’t do unnecessary extravagance but he still appreciated comforts like the rest of us.
The floor to ceiling window behind his desk gave me the usual comforting view over London. Resting my forehead on the cool glass, I gulped back the tears. “I miss you,” I whispered, my breath steaming the window.
The first snow of the season had fallen during the day and the blanket of crisp white provided a calmness to the turmoil swirling around inside me. My soul was lonely, the physical pain inside me debilitating. It had been eight years since I had felt this pain, and I hated that its return brought back memories of a time when grief had taken my sanity. Dealing with it last time had been much easier. A time when I was so low I didn’t have morals or guilt.
The gym had provided a minute amount of healing, the punch bag a favourite to rid the anger coursing my resentful system. But the physical release didn’t touch the hatred in my heart, the need for revenge that tortured my mind.
For a long while I stood just watching the snow drift down and allowed my soul to fill with Geoffrey’s spiritual presence. When the dusk turned to night, the streetlights illuminating London and the twinkling of Christmas lights from the centre giving the dark vista a sprinkling of colour, I finally wiped away the tears, and smiling to myself I drew a small sparrow in the condensation my breath had produced. And then, for the very last time, I logged Geoffrey out of the system and watched with blurred vision as the desktop image of me and him at the company Christmas party last year turned to a blank screen.
The corridor was quiet as I slowly made my way to the elevator. Usually at this time of day it was bustling with noise, people rushing around as they hurried to perform their usual tasks before heading home for the day. It seemed word had circulated and everyone had packed up their belongings and already gone.
It seemed eerie, apocalyptic. I smiled at that thought, Geoffrey had always love
d my creative imagination.
The elevator doors opened and, stunned as anger and surprise clashed, I gasped and stepped back.
Brandon Knox blinked at me with equivalent shock before recognition registered on his face. “Miss Evans, what a pleasure. I was hoping to catch you.”
I stepped back when he took a step out of the elevator. I didn’t trust myself to be so close to him. “I was hoping you didn’t,” I muttered quietly, detesting that he was able to get such a significant response from me.
His lips twitched as if he was delighted with my retort. “Now, now, is that any way to welcome your new boss?”
I gritted my teeth as my eyes drifted up to his hair. Brandon Knox was ruggedly good looking - regretfully. His long blonde hair was pulled into one of those stupid man buns, but he had such intense blue eyes that felt like they could delve into your soul if you allowed him to look deep enough.
“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t met him yet, but it’s good to know I can call on you for a reference.”
Genuine confusion spread across his face before he narrowed his eyes. “We seem to have our wires crossed. Your previous employment here is maintained.”
This time it was me that was confused. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Your job is safe. Warne Industries will be renewing your contract.”
“But,” I argued. “I understood that you were bringing in your own staff.”
“That’s correct,” he nodded. “But your position is safe.”
It didn’t make sense. “Why me?”
His lips twitched again but he didn’t answer my question. I wanted to wipe the fucking smirk right off his face. Arrogant twat. My hands fisted with his mocking expression. “Thank you, but no thank you.” Even though my voice was venomous, I was amazed I managed to keep my manners. That was another credit to Geoffrey, his gentle ways teaching me that manners cost nothing.
He lifted both eyebrows. “I’m sorry?” He was genuinely perplexed at my refusal. Bloody hell, this guy was so far up his own arsehole he couldn’t see reality, only bullshit.
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