Yet, like everyone else who worked for my father, I got to my feet and did as I was ordered.
Something felt off as I made my way through the house. Everyone gave me funny looks, or turned away and refused to look at me. Christy gave me her usual look of disdain but I caught the look of glee in her eye, the smug smile that lifted her pouty lips unsettling me. There was a quiet murmur which seeped into my bones and made me shiver.
The further down the basement steps I descended, the more my heart rate accelerated. I could almost taste the horror awaiting me, the sense of dread that something, down there, was going to change my life forever.
My mouth was dry and the thud of my pulse raged in my ears as I opened the door and stepped inside.
Almost instantly, my arms were captured and pulled behind me. “Jimmy?” I struggled in his hold but he was one strong fucker, and my writhing just made him restrain me tighter.
“Sorry, Esther.” There was a warning, mixed with sympathy, in his expression, and his voice was much softer than his grip on me.
“Oh for fuck’s sake, please don’t let Esther see this.”
I froze, and turned at the sound of Will’s broken and slightly slurred voice.
“What the hell?”
He was tied to the chain that hung from the ceiling. His wrists were clasped in the cuffs and his topless body hung precariously, his bare toes skimming the floor and providing little in the way of support.
I shot my stare to my father who stood in front of Will with his face down. “Daddy?”
His throat moved as he swallowed profoundly, and then taking a deep breath he turned to me. “Did you know? Did you know, Esther?”
Confusion creased my forehead and I reared back a little at the hint of fury in his puzzling question. “Know what?”
He snapped his teeth together and then clicked his tongue as he slowly turned to face Will. “That your boy here is Terry Hardy’s plant.”
Fear, dread, shock, heartache, disbelief, horror, and indescribable hurt made me sway in Jimmy’s arms. “W-What. No.”
Will couldn’t look at me. His face was down, his eyes closed as a single tear rolled slowly down his pale face.
“Tell them it’s not true, Will. Tell me it’s a lie!”
“I’m so sorry, Es.”
“What. No. No… You…”
Vomit careered up my throat and Jimmy loosened his hold enough for me to bend and puke, my heartache ripping from me in a wail of agony.
I was moved from Jimmy to John, who wrapped me in his arms, tightly holding me to his chest. “William, I don’t think Esther should be here.”
“Tough!” Daddy spat. “She needs to learn a valuable lesson about who she trusts.”
My mouth wouldn’t move, words that I needed to say vanishing into the air with my heavy breath.
My father stalked over to Will, his rage literally shimmering like a fog around him. “Two years I allowed you to be a part of my family. Two years I let you make a fool of me.”
Will finally looked up, but he didn’t look at Daddy. His sorrow was all for me. “I love you, Es,” he whispered as my father plunged a knife straight through him.
The scream was silent when it left me, the shattered bits of my broken soul that remained inside me spewing from me in a wave of agony that took me to the floor. John was unable to hold me as my legs gave way and my knees cracked on the cold concrete floor.
“Finish him,” Daddy growled at John as he snatched me up and lifted me into his arms.
I can’t remember being carried through the house. I can’t remember what my father said to me. I can’t remember him laying me gently on my bed and placing a soft kiss to my forehead.
All I can remember was the love and remorse in Will’s eyes as he took his last breath. The numbness that crept back in. The utter feeling of failure that sank into my soul. The loss of my best friend – again.
And the moment Milly Evans was born from the death of Will Kirk.
Eighteen
Esther
“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Brandon asked as he pulled to a stop beside the other car. His gaze on me was troubled but he gave me a small smile of encouragement when I nodded.
“I’m okay.”
“How long is it since you’ve seen him?”
“Eight years. I… He was supposed to be dead.”
He glanced into the car adjacent to us, frowned and then sighed. “Nope, he’s definitely alive.”
The sun crawled behind the cliff top. I took a deep breath and reached for the door handle. My whole body shook and I practically stumbled out, my hand grabbing onto the door to steady myself.
It seemed to take forever to walk around Brandon’s car, each step stabbing my heart with both pain and hope but I locked my knees together and forced myself forward.
The driver’s door opened. I saw his long legs first, his Nike trainers almost fascinating me. I daren’t look up, I didn’t want to look up, as his whole body unfolded in front of me.
“Esther.” His voice was choked, and small, like a scared child.
Finally, looking up, I gasped when my eyes came to rest on his handsome face. He had changed so much, but then not at all. His blonde hair was cut short and his sparkling green eyes bled out so much love. For me. For his best friend.
He thudded into the car when my fist connected with his cheekbone. But then I was in his arms, his face in the crook of my neck as I climbed his body, my legs hooking around his waist as we both sobbed hard.
“Oh shit,” he breathed in my ear as he took a deep breath. His embrace was so tight I thought he would smother me. The touch of him, the smell of him, the sound of his heart beating against mine was too much and I clung to him like my life depended on it.
“I’m so sorry, Es. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry.”
I leaned back, still held by his arms, and placed my hands on his face. “Why?”
Removing one of his arms from around me, he wiped at my tears and smiled. “Because I loved you.”
“So because you loved me you broke my heart?”
“I had no other choice, Esther. Both me and John…”
“John?” I gasped. “John knew you were still alive?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him.”
My head shook. “None of it makes sense.”
He dropped me from his hold but took my hand in his, clasping hold tightly. “It’s too dangerous at the moment. But we need to talk.”
“Do you have somewhere to stay?”
He shook his head, and nodded to the car. “I’m good.”
Scowling, I pulled out the warehouse keys and gave them him. “No one knows about this place. It’s safe. Memorise the address.”
He nodded, forging my directions into his mind, but before I had even finished, he was hugging me to him again. “I missed you so much, honey.”
I pulled away and swallowed as the question I had asked myself over and over for eight years reared its ugly head.
Reading me, as always, he shook his head. “No, Es. I didn’t use you. I loved you. You were the only real in all the bullshit. But there are things you need to know.”
“How is it even possible that you’re here?” I asked, my eyes scanning his body. “I watched my father…” I winced, unable, and unwilling, to remember.
“John knew it was coming. He was there when Christy went to your father with what she had found out…. Or what she thought she had found out,” he added cryptically. “He slipped me a drug that slows down the heart rate and thickens the blood. It gave him enough time to get me out of there before I bled to death.”
“Why did he never tell me?”
He pinched my nose and smiled. “Esther, come on. There was no way I would risk you, for anything. You had to believe I was dead to let me go.”
We both looked up when a few flakes of snow softly fluttered in the darkening sky. “Go,” I urged, “Before the weather gets too ba
d for the drive up there. I promise, you’ll be safe there. I’ll drive up tomorrow.”
He nodded, and pressed his lips to my forehead. “I…”
“I know.” I nodded back. “I know.”
Giving me his cheeky wink, he climbed back into his car and started the engine. “You need to be careful, Es. Your father knows you took Bane’s offer.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“Although I’ve been dead,” he smirked. “I’ve been very much alive. Stay by your man’s side until I can sort out this shit.”
“I’ll make sure of it,” Brandon growled behind me and I jumped, unaware he was even there.
Will narrowed his eyes on Brandon, but then nodded and turned back to me. “I’m glad you’re Memphis, Es. You deserve to be on the right side.”
“The right side?” I laughed, giving Brandon a side glance. “I’m not so sure about that.”
He smiled. “Bane will see you right.”
Tipping my head, I stared at him. “You know Rik?”
He clammed up and shifted gear. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I nodded, closing his door.
Watching him pull away from the secluded spot, I forced down the anger and spun on Brandon. “How did he know you were Memphis?”
He groaned loudly, and rolled his eyes. “Because Will Kirk, or rather Kirk Williams as he’s otherwise known, wasn’t planted into your father’s empire by Terry Hardy. He was undercover for SIS.”
“What?” I spluttered, following him back to his car.
He nodded, sliding inside and waiting for me to climb in beside me. “Yeah. Knew of him, but not personally. I’d heard he’d been planted inside.” He frowned, as if trying to recall something. “Yeah, if I remember, he went rogue. Rumour had it that all his intel got ‘messed up’ and all because of one little chick who was shit hot with a Glock.”
My heart stuttered and I stared in shock. “He went rogue because of me?”
He shrugged, glancing in the mirror. “Just a rumour. Who knows. You’ll have to ask him yourself.”
“Does Rik know who he is?”
He shot me a look. “He does now.”
“But he didn’t?” He knew exactly what I was asking and he sighed.
“Esther, I have no answers to your questions. I was as much in the dark as you. I just have recollections from when I was SIS, and seeing Kirk, just now, it kind of all clicked into place.”
“You were SIS?”
He glowered and changed gear, checking his mirrors constantly. “For a small chick you have a fucking gut load of questions.”
I huffed, turning to face the window. “So how come you’re Memphis now?” I couldn’t stop the question from leaving my mouth, but Brandon’s lips twitched when I turned back to him, like he’d been expecting it.
“That’s my story to tell.” He wasn’t being offensive but I sensed his reluctance to talk, and nodded.
“Okay, I will shut up now.”
He scoffed, “Sure you will.”
I lasted seven minutes and thirty-nine seconds.
***
Grace pulled me into the room, her excitement at almost irritating level. “I’m so excited to have a female in the team. You have no idea to the amount of innuendo I have to put up with.”
My eyes fixed wide on the assembly of top-quality equipment placed around the room, but, without giving me chance to take a breath, Grace tugged me across the room to a few people who were stood around chatting. All of them men.
“Guys.”
Each turned to look at Grace when she spoke but their gazes quickly shifted to me.
“This is Esther Dean.”
I recoiled under the fierce stares of the three men, each probing scan sliding up and down me. I could see in their eyes they thought I was tiny, maybe too tiny to match them.
“What’s your specialty?” the tallest of all three asked, and I had to creak my neck to look at him.
“Specialty?”
He frowned, regarding me curiously. “Yeah, shooter, stealth, melee?”
“Fuck sake, Dreal, she’s not playing fucking X-Box.”
‘Dreal’ scowled and rolled his eyes but then fixed them back on me expectantly. “Just trying to figure her out, Lex. She’s tiny, so I would go for stealth, or…” His eyes sparkled and he smirked, “Or maybe a surprise in a box.”
“Dreal!” Grace grumbled. “Be nice.”
“Always, babe.”
It was obvious he thought of me as Rik’s ’crazy moment’ and I bit down the retort, needing to figure them all out before I made assumptions.
“Ignore him,” Lex, who had spoken up earlier, smiled at me. “Well, we can’t call you Esther, you need a pseudo.”
“Oh, she has one,” Grace piped up. I didn’t miss the sly smile cross her lips as she looked to Dreal. “Ghost.”
Dreal tutted and shook his head. “Already taken.”
Grace chuckled, and gave me a wink. “Yeah, by Esther.”
All three men’s mouths fell open as each shocked gaze fixed on me.
“Fuck. You’re ‘Ghost’?” The other man who hadn’t yet spoken stared at me with a mix of disbelief and awe.
My cheeks flamed when he grinned like a lunatic and thrust his hand out to me. “Well, fuck me. You shot me in the fucking leg nine years ago.”
I gawped in horror when he yanked up the hem of his shorts, and, sitting perfectly in the centre of his thick thigh, was a small but significant circular scar. “Umm, I’m so sorry.”
He reared back and shook his head. “All part of the job, love. Better than in the head.” His laugh was loud and my eye twitched slightly.
“Tack, you’re scaring the poor cow,” Lex laughed. “Ignore him, he’s the crazy one.”
I nodded slowly, not quite sure what to make of them all. So along with Rik and Brandon, and Frank, Memphis appeared to be a team of seven, eight with me. “So there’s eight in the team, along with me?”
“Ten,” Grace corrected as she took my hand and pulled me towards the training mat. Throwing me some hand wraps, she started to warm up. “You need a level?”
I shook my head. “Nah, just gimme chance to slip back into it, it’s been years.”
She smiled and pulled up her leg to stretch the muscles. I saw all three men turn to watch us, curiosity over me gaining their attention.
“You coming to the pub after?” Grace asked as she swept my leg and took me to the mat.
“Can do,” I replied, throwing her back with a swift jab of my elbow into the ribs.
She grunted and quickly jumped back to her feet. “God, I’m starving.”
“You not eaten?”
She shook her head as I ran and locked my leg around her shoulders, twisting her into a lockdown with my thighs around her head and my groin squashing her windpipe.
“God, I fucking love that move,” Lex groaned. “Seriously, Bane needs to make a new rule now we have two chicks. Training should be done naked.”
“Nah, Shadow is too uptight to muff surf,” Dreal scoffed.
A sly and secret smile curved Grace’s lips, as if she knew something they didn’t and I narrowed my eyes on her. “Are you gay?” I asked quietly.
She chuckled and winked as she slipped her arm around my neck and flipped us both backwards. “Bi. These fucking idiots have no idea. I live with two men and another woman.”
“Seriously?”
She nodded, “But that’s between us. They’re good guys but they’ll never leave it alone if they know.”
“Of course.” We both rolled over and I locked Grace under me, my forearm pressed to her throat. “I’m rather jealous.”
She laughed and nodded as we both got back into position. “You should be.”
Sweat trickled down my forehead and I wiped it away with my hand wrap as I skimmed the perimeter of the mat, watching Grace’s moves and anticipating which way she would go. Her body language told me low, and waiting, I let her slide. Catching her ankle w
ith my hand, I rotated us both until she was braced under me, her leg pulled tightly so she couldn’t move. “Good move,” she uttered through clenched teeth.
Removing my hold, I blew out an exhausted breath and grabbed the bottle of water sat at the side of the mat. As I tipped my head back to take a drink, my eyes found Rik stood watching from the edge of the room. He grinned and gave me a subtle nod. “I need to see you,” he spoke sternly, the soft look in his eyes from seconds ago now replaced with a hard one. “Freshen up and Grace will bring you to my office.”
“Sure.”
He turned without saying another word and I jolted when the heavy metal door slammed shut behind him.
“You’ll do fine.”
I blinked when Tack’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts and turned to smile at him. “I hope so.”
Patting me on the shoulder, he snatched up a towel from the bench and went to work on one of the treadmills located to the back of the room.
Dreal’s stare on me was cold and probing before he turned and left through another door.
“Ignore him,” Grace said as she took my arm and directed me through a door into a changing room. “He finds it hard to trust, but he’ll come round.”
I wasn’t so sure. There was something chilling in the way he watched me, but shrugging it off, I stepped into the shower cubicle and washed away the warning in my head.
Nineteen
Bane
Grace smiled at me. I didn’t return it. I couldn’t take my eyes away from Esther. She stood, almost nervous, her eyes scanning my office as if she deliberately looked anywhere but at me.
Grace, sensing my simmering mood, nodded and then left, shutting the door behind her.
Finally, Esther’s gaze moved to me when I stepped from behind my desk and slowly stalked towards her.
Enough was enough. If I didn’t take her soon I was scared I’d rip her apart when I finally did.
She felt it, the need in me, and as if she could smell my hunger, her nose twitched slightly.
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