Still, the wind god was getting nowhere with this line of reasoning. And, after all, Tez was a deity. He should have been able to swap places with Ixxie even if his intentions hadn't been entirely pure.
Yes, that's right, dear, his sister god said, not bothering to wait for her companion to speak. (Talk about rude!) But you also got another thing wrong. Ixchel's cat charm isn't a strong enough link to my person to pull my physical self into your mirror, not when the girl has yet to swear herself into her role as my chief priestess. And, despite all that, Ixchel is still mine. You know very well that no worshiper of mine can unintentionally do me harm.
Contradict yourself, why don't you? Tez countered. If the mortal hasn't sworn to you, then she isn't yours, now is she?
Well, suit yourself, Tezzie, the goddess answered before fading away. But I've broken the tie you built to my dear Ixchel's mind, so you'll just have to wait and see what exactly she does choose to do. Now won't you?
Chapter 25
Finn and Ixchel lunged toward the mirror-bowl at the same moment, the former intent on spilling the water while the latter was doing her level best to fish out her necklace. As a result, both humans ended up getting even more soaked, the small vessel seeming to hold five gallons' worth of liquid when its contents splattered across their faces and clothes.
Another little trick from our favorite god, Finn thought sardonically. But he was getting used to Tezcatlipoca's shows of temper and didn't even wince.
"Is Tezzie free?" Ixchel asked breathlessly, clutching her cat necklace as if the charm were a precious item rather than a ten-cent trinket, the like of which could be purchased at any dollar store stateside. The vet didn't even seem to notice the disarray their clothes were in due to her worry over the goddess's safety. But then, Ixchel also wasn't a cat who enjoyed swimming...but only on his own terms. No, the wet clothes had been a slap in the face meant for Finn alone and the shifter knew it.
No, I'm not free...no thanks to you! Tezcatlipoca was grumpier than ever, but the shifter was surprised to see that Ixchel's face remained full of blank concern rather than reacting to the deity's diatribe. His companion clearly hadn't heard the god speak even though Tez had been able to broadcast his thoughts from a much greater distance just that morning. Surely Tezcatlipoca should have had no problem impacting the veterinarian from his current location at their feet.
Interesting.
"He says he's still trapped, and isn't very happy about it," Finn translated, picking up the statue and mirror and pocketing both despite his overwhelming inclination to let the god rot in hell. The headache that had been building behind the shifter's eyes eased at the gesture, and Finn knew he'd been manipulated once again. Still, he had to choose his battles with Tezcatlipoca, so this instance of godly maneuvering might as well be let slide.
Beside him, Ixchel raised her eyebrows, coming to the same conclusion that the shifter had—in the preceding altercation, the goddess must have found a way to wiggle the vet's consciousness out of Tez's grubby little fingers. Too bad Ixxie hadn't managed to do the same for Finn. Because, without Tez barking orders, Finn would have been quite happy to bury this little statue in the sandy soil of El Azuzul and set off on a much-deserved Mexican holiday with the lovely veterinarian.
You can stop with the headaches, Tez, Finn thought as pain once again began slicing through his skull. I'm not going to do it. I'd just like a holiday, that's all. And then the shifter worked harder than ever at shielding his thoughts from the nosy god's ever-increasing power.
"What about Ixxie?" her namesake said at last, reaching back to clasp the necklace once more around her neck. Despite his best intentions to give the veterinarian her space, Finn found himself lifting the woman's hair out of the way and then letting his hand trail across her smooth skin in a gentle caress before stepping away.
Focus, he told himself. Because his pet god was obviously not pleased with either him or with Ixchel. So Finn needed to keep his attention trained on the potential danger for both of their sakes.
What do I care? Tez groused, proving the shifter's suspicion about his mood as the deity answered Ixchel's question. If Ixxie won't help me, then it's no skin off my teeth whether you just spilled your precious goddess out onto the ground and killed her entirely.
Finn didn't repeat this utterance since he was relatively sure that the wind god was just attempting to spread his lack of joy to the people around him. "I think she outwitted him," he said instead, glancing at the trinket nestled between Ixchel's collarbones and raising one eyebrow quickly. Hopefully his companion could read between the lines in a way the self-centered god couldn't, allowing Ixchel to realize that her goddess could be trapped within the cat necklace just as Tezcatlipoca was caged within his own statue.
"I might know a way to talk to Ixxie," Ixchel began, but Finn cut her off with a shake of his head. Sure enough, his least-favorite deity pounced on the vet's words.
Oh no you don't. No running off on a tangent to help out Ixxie, not while I'm stuck within this cursed statue. Don't you want to be reunited with your family?
Finn didn't even need to translate this time around, because Ixchel could clearly read Tez's half-assed promise in the way the shifter clenched his jaw.
"No, Tezzie, this isn't all about you," Ixchel rebutted. "Ixxie seemed like a nice lady, and I'll bet she'd help you out if we just put a little time into scratching her back first. We'll go visit my..."
"Don't tell him!" Finn ground out at the same time Tezcatlipoca demanded:
Don't interrupt her!
But Ixchel had listened to Finn—had, in fact, not even heard the grumpy god—and she clamped her mouth shut over the information that she'd been about to impart. And that, apparently, was the last straw, because the headache Finn had been battling for the last few minutes erupted into a roar just as he was pulled into jaguar form against his will.
Let's see how you like being trapped, Tezcatlipoca broadcast grimly.
The shifter snarled and swiped at the air, irate at the god and then even more angry at himself when Ixchel cringed away from his razor-sharp claws. He'd better get his act together...and fast if...he wanted to hold onto what was really important in this situation. Namely—Ixchel.
Good point, Tezcatlipoca broadcast smoothly. So you'll talk the girl into coming along with us and we'll get back to work. Once she bonds to her precious goddess, then I can start over and exchange places with the bitch. And then you and your darling veterinarian can finally enjoy your just rewards.
Finn badly wanted to be a better person, but he found himself tempted by the god's promise. The shifter had been hunting and hoping for a sign of another were-jaguar for the last decade, and who but a jaguar god would be likely to know if there were other shifters of his ilk kicking around in the world? It would be a simple matter for Tezcatlipoca to introduce Finn to his relatives—truly no skin off his teeth. The shifter was pretty sure that his personal god wouldn't go very far out of his way to fulfill his promises. But if Finn's prize was easy to grant, surely the deity would have no reason not to come through?
On the other hand, Finn knew that allowing Tez to get his way in this matter would be a bad choice. Even though the shifter had picked up his (very small) dose of ethics only after reaching adulthood and joining the human race, he still knew that Tezcatlipoca's plan was morally repugnant. Of the two gods, Ixxie seemed the much better choice to set loose on the unsuspecting human population.
And yet.... Was Ixxie's well-being really more important than Finn's own? Couldn't a goddess take care of herself?
As he pondered, the shifter peered at Ixchel out of slitted cat eyes. His human companion had settled down from her initial fright as soon as Finn stopped clawing at the air and was now watching him with her head cocked to one side consideringly. The vet was smart, so Finn was pretty sure she knew that he and Tezcatlipoca were negotiating everyone's future in the silence she had not yet tried to break. And she likely also knew that she'd heartily disappr
ove of Tezcatlipoca's plan.
But despite all that, Ixchel seemed willing to wait and accept that Finn would make the right decision.
No one had ever expected him to make the right decision before. As a result, the shifter couldn't quite figure out whether Ixchel's expectations made him feel uplifted...or hemmed in.
And even though his mind seemed to be squeezing itself in a vise as he worked his way through the implications of any potential actions, the shifter was certain of one thing at least. He wanted the leisure to find out how he really felt about having won Ixchel's trust before he lost her favor entirely.
That, more than any ethical need to protect the weaker members of the human race, decided the issue for Finn. Not happening, he thought as loudly as he could, hoping the god would catch this broadcast but not the musings that came before it. Ixchel needs time to bond with her goddess without worrying that you're going to lock Ixxie away for the next two thousand years. So we're going to give her that time.
Then the jaguar tried to transform back into human shape so he could warn his companion about Tezcatlipoca's wishes...but Finn found himself unable to shift. It was similar to the night when the god had turned him into a pussycat, but even worse since Finn had then been able to at least change his shape at will.
Tezzie! he growled silently, using the diminutive form of address for the first time.
Oh, are you realizing you need something from me after all? Tezcatlipoca bit out. The words were bitter, and Finn knew that the wind god must be feeling his lack of traditional worshipers most keenly at this moment.
Based on what Ixchel had read out of her guidebook during their drive to El Azuzul, the shifter now knew that Tezcatlipoca's Olmec followers wouldn't have dared talk back to their god the way he was doing. And for good reason, too, since Tezzie was both immature and prone to lash out at those who didn't do his bidding in a timely manner.
Well? Tezcatlipoca demanded. Are you willing to obey my simple request yet, or would you rather remain in jaguar form until further notice? I'll bet your lady love wouldn't like that very much, now would she?
Actually, Ixchel seemed a bit taken by Finn's streamlined feline body, and he couldn't resist preening a bit beneath her admiring gaze. But Tezzie was right—Finn wasn't going to make any progress with the veterinarian sans the ability to talk.
Still, sometimes one had to make short-term sacrifices for the sake of long-term gain. And, in this case, the only way to protect Ixchel's interests was to walk away.
He would definitely miss his smart and sassy companion, but Finn knew that the vet would fare quite well by herself in the near future. The keys to the rental car were still in the ignition of the vehicle, and the shifter had been sure to purchase an international driver's license in the veterinarian's name while putting together the paperwork to make it easy for the duo to leave the country. Plus, Ixchel had Finn's cell number programmed into her own phone, so she'd be able to contact him once the shifter finished dealing with Tezcatlipoca and was able to change back into human form.
The question was, would she want to contact him if he left now without an explanation, just walked away into the trees without a backwards glance? That thought alone set up a piercing pain in his chest that was just as powerful as the god-imbued headache Finn had fought off earlier.
So that's what they mean by a broken heart, Finn thought, peering into Ixchel's eyes and willing her to understand.
Then, without another attempt to parry words with the god, the shifter shut both eyes slowly in the universal cat sign of reassurance and contentment. And turning on his heel, he slunk away from the woman he was beginning to love.
Chapter 26
Finn had abandoned her. He'd met her eyes then turned without a word and slunk away into the woods.
Okay, so it wasn't like the shifter could actually speak while in feline form in order to explain his intentions. And he'd clearly been arguing with Tezzie about the future just before shifting. So it was possible the wind god had found a way to lock Finn inside his jaguar skin for the foreseeable future and had then ordered the shifter to leave Ixchel behind.
And yet, those explanations still didn't make the veterinarian feel any better. Finn's just like my brothers, she found herself thinking instead.
But was that really true? After all, Fernando and company hadn't abandoned Ixchel. She'd been the one to squeal on her siblings so they were all tossed in jail, after which she'd left without a forwarding address. So how could the vet say that they'd abandoned her when she was the one who had walked away?
Still, Ixchel had felt emotionally divorced from her siblings each time she begged a brother to stay home rather than falling deeper and deeper into his life of crime. She'd felt dismissed and ignored when each brother walked out of the family home nightly while refusing to meet her eyes. And she'd no longer felt like their sister when the young adults made up dumb lies to excuse their absences.
But it wasn't until her favorite brother, Miguel, had blown her off that Ixchel really began to consider herself an only child.
Of course, saying that he'd blown her off wasn't entirely fair either. Miguel was a typical middle sibling, with a nice word for everyone and always willing to make peace among his cadre of troublesome brothers. So, of course, Miguel hadn't really blown off Ixchel's concerns. Still, when she'd pinned her favorite brother down one last time only weeks before her ill-fated birthday, the peacemaker had been unwilling to give an inch.
"You want me to stay home, right?" he'd asked. Then, when his kid sister nodded excitedly, Miguel had explained the reasoning behind his refusal. "I don't like going out with the boys either, Ixxie." (He'd called her Ixxie, the vet remembered now, using the same pet name Tez had used for his sister god.)
"Then why go?" the younger sister interjected. "Why not stay home with me? Are you afraid you'll lose your machismo if you don't follow Fernando's lead?" Referring to the boys' pride was usually bound to get a rise out of them, and Ixchel couldn't resist the chance to tease.
"Of course not, goosie," her middle brother answered, roughing up hair that she'd spent an awfully long time taming just an hour before, but otherwise ignoring her verbal jab. Ixchel didn't even pretend to resent the manhandling, either. It had been far too long since she'd enjoyed such easy familiarity with one of her brothers, and she craved Miguel's affection.
Plus, she wanted to hear what the peacemaker had to say for himself. "So...?" she prompted.
"So, I go out with 'the boys', as you call them, to make sure nobody does anything stupid. You know you can't trust Antonio not to drown in..." He paused, clearly cleaning up his language for Ixchel's benefit, then finished: "...the shallow end of a swimming pool."
This analysis was, unfortunately, true. Antonio was the second oldest sibling and had been a handful from day one. Or so their parents said—Ixchel hadn't come along until six years later.
Actually, given the kind of trouble Ixchel knew her brothers had been getting up to lately, she was surprised Antonio hadn't managed to get himself killed...or to kill someone...while he was out joining gangs and holding up convenience stores at gunpoint. So maybe Miguel had a point.
"But I miss you," she'd said in a quiet voice, meaning But I need you too. And Miguel had understood the unspoken words as well as the spoken ones.
"It won't be forever, Ixxie," he'd promised her. "Just a little longer. I have a plan to make it all better. You'll see."
But she hadn't seen. All that had passed in front of her eyes despite their talk was the continued parade of brothers coming home at all hours of the night with bruises on their cheeks, loot in their hands, and even more machismo than ever in their bearings.
Then, soon afterwards, Ixchel had found her parents' blood splattered across the living-room wall. Which had made the scales fall from her eyes and had forced the teenager to realize that she couldn't remain part of the family travesty any longer.
Which, in turn, was why Ixchel thought her brothers had a
bandoned her. The young men had promised to protect her with their lives but had instead forced their kid sister to grow up at eighteen and then find her own way in the world. The five of them hadn't forgiven Ixchel for her backstabbing despite their long history, and not a single brother had followed after to hunt her down. Not even Miguel.
As a result, for years, the veterinarian-in-training had looked over her shoulders. She'd been afraid to see one of her brothers standing behind her ready to take his revenge...but she'd also been afraid of what she wouldn't see. In the end, Ixchel was most hurt by the fact that she'd been forgotten by the family who had played such a pivotal role in her life for nearly two decades.
So, yes, in every way that counted, Ixchel's brothers had abandoned her nine years ago. Just as the next man she'd come to trust—Finn—had abandoned her now.
"WELL, THAT DOES IT," Ixchel said to nobody. "It's time to find a bottle of water and, hopefully, some air conditioning."
But she couldn't quite make herself move. The vet was ashamed to admit that she'd sat in the dubious shade of that single forlorn tree for most of the afternoon, hoping that her companion would eventually return. Surely, if she just gave him a little more time, Finn would pad out of the forest on cat feet and explain away his long absence. Surely he hadn't meant to abandon her without a backwards glance.
But the sun was dropping lower now and Ixchel's throat was turning hoarse from lack of moisture. Plus, she was pretty sure that if Finn had meant to return, he would have found a way to ask her to stay put earlier in the afternoon, even if Tez was controlling the were-jaguar's ability to shift.
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