by R. K. Star
I didn’t want to waste any more time on these three, I had to get everything in order for classes this term.
11
Enigma
Kaylon moved his stuff in today, he carried two duffle bags with him. He had some people carrying some furniture and they swapped the old furniture out of Danny’s room. They took out the mattress, drawer, desk, nightstand.
“You can’t throw away those things, they’re Danny’s belongings,” I confronted him. Danny’s scent still lingered on them and I enjoyed smelling it now and then.
“His are old and heavily worn, I can’t use those,” he looked back at me unwilling to accept the worn-down furniture.
“But.”
He interrupted me. “You may keep the furniture when I leave, so it won’t be difficult for you when your previous roommate returns.”
I look at him and nod my head, agreeing to the arrangement. I couldn’t understand why he was sharing a room with me, looking at him I knew money wasn’t a concern. He dressed elegantly with a formal touch. He wore a dress shirt that was a modern slim fit outlining his chest and bicep muscles. It was a nice striped purple and white pattern on the shirt. He rolled up the cuffs of his shirt to give a more rugged appearance. His pants were a beige grey chino that was slim fitted and his legs filled them nicely. His buttocks gave him a complete figure, unlike other men who had the pants drooping behind because they didn’t have any ass to hold the backside up. He completed the looked with a brown-orange leather belt and semi-formal shoes that were white with elegant yellow stripes. His hair was fairly long and combed backwards to drape over his head. He was quite stylish and I was impressed as very few men would be able to pull off such a hipster appearance.
Besides his quality clothes, he was able to buy all new high-quality furniture and didn’t care to retain them afterwards. I wanted to crack open his mind more than anything else. I became over work about it, I developed a headache. It was extremely annoying to be able to read everyone’s mind but then simply not able to read the one mind you were curious about. I wanted to invade his privacy and know everything about him. He was a mystery box. I knew there were mysteries inside it but I wasn’t able to open it.
I studied his personal belongings attempting to understand the type of person he was. I felt he was hiding things and I was only seeing the elegant visage he was presenting. He was a person with thick skin shielding everything else. My instinct never betrayed me before, I knew something wasn’t right but I couldn’t understand what. He had an allure that I gravitated towards, a scent that made me infatuated with him and lustful. Several times I had to wipe the corner of my lip to confirm I wasn’t drooling. I constantly kept him in the peripheral of my eye, I want to know what he was doing and where he was. His body was so fine to look at I couldn’t help but stare sometimes. He spoke softly but with a distinctive voice and it soothed my soul, I felt calm after hearing him talk.
“Did you want to go out for lunch.” Kaylon suddenly turned around and I was still staring at him. It took me a moment to realize he was looking at me, I felt embarrassed and pretended I was staring at the wall.
“Of course,” I muttered quickly. I felt a bit strange standing in the middle just staring as he unpacked.
Danny kept his apartment key so I had another one made. I used the new key to lock the door before passing it to Kaylon and we left for lunch. The sun warmed my naked skin, I could feel the energy from the rays and it strengthen me. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and felt reborn in the warm glow.
We came across a local cafe around the corner of our apartment. It had a humorous pun written on a black board sign outside that was trying to lure customers in and it worked on us. We sat on the patio, where we could enjoy the serenity of the environment. We both didn’t waste any time looking with the menu and knew what we wanted right away. I loved people with a straight forward appeal and were decisive that didn’t waste time. The worst is people who take forever with the menu and always take photos of their food before eating it.
“Why did you decide on physics and astronomy?” Finally! He asked me a question. It made me feel good that he was interested in knowing more about me.
“Physics is more interesting and I feel it’s a subject for the intellectuals compared to the others,” I spoke with a smile on my face. “Astronomy is more of an interest, I’m fascinated with space and the possibilities beyond what I can and can’t see.” I started to drift into a deeper thought. “I feel I’m not meant to be limited to so little, there’s more in my life then just school, a career and then death. I refuse to believe that will be it and I cannot accept it.” My smile faded, my thought loomed around and it made me depressed. Although I didn’t want my life to be so basic I was confined to one life time, how much could I achieve in such short period of time.
“I get the impression you have extensive goals you wish to accomplish.” He did something I usually do to others. I felt he read my mind.
“It’s as if you read my mind.” I looked at his facial expressions for cues to see if he was hiding something.
“I didn’t read your mind. Your facial expressions betray you.”
I could feel my facial muscles were tense and stiff, far from a normal relaxed person.
“When we are born, as a child we have enjoyment and everything is provided and taken care of. Then we must attend school and are forced with labours. The labours to obtain knowledge to make a contribution to society. Later we must work for a few decades to contribute to society and such that we also make a living for ourselves. Whether one chooses to have children of their own and care for them is another burden, although many find this to be a joy and blessing. In the end, we await our death when we are old and frail, too weak to do anything or care for ourselves. This is not what I want for myself. I want to not only make an impact but see the universe and answer the unknowns. I want to experience more than just what Earth has to offer me. Maybe I sound crazy, maybe I am crazy.” I looked down at the table wondering why I shared such an intimate part of myself which I have never share with anyone. Something about Kaylon made me safe. I didn’t feel vulnerable and as if I could say anything on my mind without being judged. It’s not easy for me to say what’s on my mind. Being bullied through high school I knew how judgmental people were. I formed an armour around myself. I’ve always been afraid of being hurt. Now there was an awkward silence after my rambling about nonsense.
“Here we are, the smoke salmon for you and the lentil soup and chicken salad for you.” The waitress put our orders down. Thank god the waitress came because it was getting weird thanks to me.
“You aren’t crazy but exceptional. Very few have such a drive and desire. It’s very easy to set your limits base of external factors, such as life expectancy, environment, physical, mental capacities. It’s difficult to set your goals beyond the limits of what is known.”
Kaylon had drop some gasoline on an ember that was burning deep in my soul, now it was in full drive. Why do I have to wait for others to discover and set the path and push the boundaries? I’m a strong and able woman and I should set my path and create the frontier for others. I want to be on top of the pyramid. I want to be on top of everyone. I want to be the one making decisions where I affect others and not others affecting me. I don’t want any boundaries to ever limit me. Something was different inside me as I stared at my lentil soup. My passion for desire changed now.
We converse with more small banter back and forth to know more of one another until we finished our lunch. The more I got to know him the less I understood about him, my intrigue with him just doesn’t dissipate. I wish more than ever to be able to read someone’s mind now.
12
Understanding
I became less and less interested in my studies as my mind drifted more and more each day. I found myself trying to feel the particles in everyday objects. I held an apple in my hand and I could feel the pectin, the component of the apple’s skin but not what was beyond t
he skin. I couldn’t sense the components of the apple inside. I knew there was the flesh of the apple, the sugars, the flavonoids, the vitamins, etc.… but why couldn’t I sense it. The thought of knowing what was there but not knowing at the same time made my head heavy. I felt a nail being hammered into my skull which sent my senses into disarray. I stood still yet I felting everything moving at extreme speeds. I felt as if I had been twirling and twirling myself round and round for hours then suddenly stopped. My legs were flimsy hay straws, my body light as a feather, a moment of euphoria and a flash of brilliance, a kiss of thrill.
In the past, after my lesson I would always review and revise the lecture. This way I was able to absorb and learn the information but I found it harder and harder to apply and devote my attention to the subject at hand. Instead I found myself staring at nearby objects and trying to dissect it into its individual components. My grades were being affect due to my lack of attention to my studies. In the past, I had no trouble obtaining A+ on all subjects. Now my midterms were simply As without the +. Before, if I underachieve I knew it would drive me mad but now I found it irrelevant to what I wanted. I didn’t care if I got my degree or not, there was other things I had plan to do now.
Not being the same as my fellow species therefore I wasn’t bound to the same fate as them. I didn’t want to die at the age of eighty, ninety, or such. The only way to constantly achieve was not to perish so pitifully as everyone so graciously accepts. I realized our genetic information shorten over time as cell replicated and the susceptibility for chance of error. If I recall biology correctly, our telomere shortens overtime effecting our chromosomes and in turn our cells. Or the effect of glycation on collagen fibres on our skin cells causing the wrinkles and creases. Or oxidative stresses causing cellular damage. There was so many things to consider, the fact was even if I minimize my risk to pathogens or diseases my body would become weak. The weaker the body the harder it is to fight off mild ailments that normally wouldn’t cause harm. I had to fix my flaw genome and be able to repair damage on the cellular level as well.
Time passed slowly as I became increasingly frustrated. My limit was reached. I was no longer able to increase my telekinetic abilities. I was limited to a certain weight; my power was still limited by physics. I considered my mind or my power as a muscle and such if I trained it more I would strengthen it, which it did but there was a capacity. Initially I saw drastic increases but plateau off quickly. The same happened with my telepathy. I was limited on the range and number of people I could focus on. If I tried to do both telepathy and telekinesis then both would be affected. They were directly correlated and drawing focus from the same area, the power of my mind. Depending on how much I exerted on one, the other would be limited by direct correlation in the same amount. I levitated an apple and started to read the mind of the residents in the apartment. After I simultaneously read between eleven to twelve people the apple would fall. Similarly, the apple would fall if I tried to read one person’s mind that was a couple of kilometres away.
The days were sluggish. I felt my mind was turning to mush, sliding and slipping away, my sight was slanted and blurry. At moments I stared at the blank wall with my mind in bewilderment. My eyes lifeless. However, when Kaylon returned back to the apartment my consciousness would be at full alert. I was always happy around him. Seeing him made me feel intoxicated and I tried to fine excuses to touch and grab onto him. I kept a constant look out for events that we could do together, especially physical activities. Sometimes I wanted to pretend to doze off and take a nap on his shoulder while we were on the couch. I imagine the feeling to be equivalent to sleeping on a cloud. I knew I was infatuated with him and I hoped this hopelessness would go away but I prayed at the same time that he felt something towards me. He wasn’t helping my infatuation. He always went into the shower with only his boxer briefs on, giving me something to ogle at. Then he would come out with only a towel around his waist. Sometimes I debated if I should casually walk by and pull this towel off accidentally. It took great effort to peel my eyes away from his chisel body. I think he knew I was staring at him. I needed to keep busy and get him off my mind.
I began to pay more attention to my course work. Preview, attend, revise the lecture for every course. My understanding for the subjects quickly bounced back. If I continued with a bit more effort I should have no trouble achieving high nineties on my finals and should end with A+ in all my courses. My days were mundane and slowly I counted them off one by one as I became slightly depressed.
There I sat, to the right of me was a wooden board separating my desk from my classmate. To the left another wooden board. They had us squeeze up close to maximize the use of the gymnasium space for exams. The proctors walked left and right, up and down. When they came to my desk they stopped for a moment and stared at my bubble sheet. One hour had past and I haven’t even open the exam booklet yet. My eyes unfocused, there I stared directly in front of me waiting for something to change.
“One hour has past, two hours remaining.” The professor tried to project with a strong clear voice across the vast space. I wasn’t worried. I didn’t need two hours to complete this exam. One hundred minute should be more than enough.
Many students looked up to confirm the time. I glared at the clock it was 2:00pm now. The second hand was the type that slowly turned without the ticking motion to indicate one-second had passed. I always preferred clocks with the second hand that moved constantly at a steady speed. The ticking sound annoyed me and constant movement felt as if time went by faster somehow. I developed an affinity to those clocks back in my high school days when I was bullied. When class was over I could take a breath from the constant physical and verbal assault. Hence if I perceive the clock to move faster it was to my comfort.
The second hand spun one circle around to the twelve, one minute had pasted. Slowly the hand turned and turned, it pointed to the one then as quickly as it arrived it turned away. Spinning slowly but steadily it twirled round. Just like the race between the turtle and the rabbit. Slow and steady wins the race. Now the second hand pointed at the number two and whoopsie daisies it’s gone, gone, gone towards the three. Three to the four, wowsies, wowsies time goes by fast. Now the second handle is pointing down, down to the FIVE! Twenty-five seconds ago it pointed at the twelve, now it points at the five, wait, wait now it is on the six, hurray. Half way there for another minute to pass by then I get to see the minute hand move once, yippee. Six to the seven and we are fifty-eight percent of one minute now. Eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight. Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine. Ten, finally ten. Why does one minute have to have twelve seconds gosh? Can’t it just have ten then I can see the minute hand move already, such a bummer. Tickety-tick, tickety-tick ten to eleven. Tickety-tick, tickety-tick, tickety-tick. Thank the lord finally I get to see the minute hand move, the second handle arrives at the twelve!
“Two hours has past, one hour remaining.” The professor yelled again.
I stared at the clock for a moment. The hour hand pointed at 3:00pm and the minute hand pointed at the twelve. The second hand ran round with great speed it was already two-thirds around the clock already at the forty-second mark. Forty-second mark, of course there is sixty-seconds in a minute and sixty minutes in an hour. I just realize I was staring hollow minded at the clock for an hour. I took the minute hand as the second hand. My consciences floated around the room into another reality. A reality where there was twelve-seconds in a minute. Somehow I made the minute hand go by the numbers and interpreted it as seconds with five minute equaling one-second.
Holy crap why I’m still focusing on my stupidity at this stupid clock. I have one hour left to finish a three-hour multiple choice final exam.
I flip open the exam booklet and skipped the useless instruction page at the beginning. Skimming through each question for the gist of what it wanted to know then quickly bubbling the first response that made sense to me of my possible options
. Total of a hundred fifty question with under sixty minutes to complete them all meant I had twenty-four seconds per question. I could delay handing my exam by a few minutes without penalty although the proctors would give me the glare but I had no choice.
As quickly as I could, I flip through the pages skimming each question and bubbling the circles in with my lead pencil. Lots of people were finished and bringing their exam to the front. I took a quick look up and the gymnasium was more than half empty. About twenty percent of the class remaining were going back and forth between questions to see if they could recollect the answer that was hidden in their brain. I pressed on, starting to panic. I remember not too long ago I didn’t care about my courses and suddenly I started to care again. Crap I was unfocused for a moment and my mind wandered off. Question eighty-seven and the clock told me I have twenty-one minutes left. I didn’t bother with the stupid math at this time but I knew I wasn’t quite making my twenty-four second per question quota.
A chair screeched, as the professor pushed the chair back and stood up, and shouted. “Ten minutes left, you should be finishing and reviewing any final questions.”
I had fifteen questions left. “Times up, please bring your papers to the front.”
I pretend to not hear a thing and was oblivious to it all.