‘Is that you Beth? Beth Naratin?’
‘How sweet of you to remember me!’
I was ready to jump ashore with the mooring line, but she took it from my hand and tied it to the bollard there. Over her shoulder I saw the police cruiser go past and keep on cruising. Then I glanced at The Bishop who simply raised his eyes to heaven as she spoke.
‘I said to myself, Beth I said, that can’t be Jimmy diGriz climbing out of that old Macswiney van and wearing a cute little moustache. Not Jimmy who has been in the news so much lately. If it is, why don’t I just mosey after him, for old times sake. Then I saw you talk to this nice gentleman here, before you went off to the marina, so I just made up my mind to wait for you to come back. Going on a trip, are you?’
‘No, no trip, just a little day excursion up the river and back. Nice seeing you again, Beth.’
That was the only nice part about this. Seeing her, I mean. The object of my childish worship. She had left school soon after I had entered – but she was hard to forget. Four years older than me, a real mature woman. That would make her twenty-one now. She had been head of her class, winner of the Beauty Queen of the Year. With good reason. Now, old as she was, she was still a smasher. Her voice sliced through my memories.
‘I don’t think that you and being exactly truthful, Jimmy. Why, with all these bags and things I bet that you are going on a long cruise. If I were you I would consider a long cruise a really good idea.’
Was there a different tenor to her voice with these last words? What did she want? We couldn’t hang around here much longer. She made her wants clear when she jumped aboard, rocking the boat on its mooring.
‘Always room for one more!’ she called but cheerfully, then went to sit in the bow. I stepped ashore and grabbed up the bags. Then whispered to The Bishop.
‘She knows me. What do we do?’
He sighed in answer. ‘Very little that we can do. For the present we have a passenger. I suggest that we consider this problem once we are under way. After all – we have no choice.’
Too true. I passed our belongings over to him, then struggled to untie the black-knot that she had tied in the line. Gave the Lucky Bucks a kick out with my foot, jumped aboard and took the wheel. The Bishop carried the cases below as I switched on the power and headed downstream. Away from Billville, Macswineys and the law.
But not from Beth. She lay stretched out on the deck before me, skirt hiked up so I could admire those gorgeous lengths of leg. I did this. Then she turned about and smiled, clearly able to read my mind. I forgot about my planned female disguise at this moment – imagining the jeering that would greet my sex change. I was getting angry.
‘All right, Beth, why don’t you just spell it out,’ I said, hauling my gaze bodily out to the clear waters of the river.
‘Whatever do you mean?’
‘Stop the games. You have been watching the news, that’s what you said. So you know about me.’
‘Sure do. Know you hold up banks and escape from jail. That doesn’t bother me though. I had a bitsy bit of difficulty myself. So when I saw you, then this boat, I knew you must have some money. Maybe a lot of money. So I just jumped at the chance to take this trip with you. Isn’t that nice?’
‘No.’ I kept my thoughts on the law and not the legs. She was trouble. ‘And I do have a bit of money put aside. If I get you some, put you ashore …’
‘The money, yes. The shore, no. I’ve seen the last of him and Billville. I’m going to see the world now. And you are going to pay my way.’
She snuggled down with her arms for a pillow, smiling as she enjoyed the sunshine. I looked on gloomily and thought of three or four blows that would snap that delicate neck …
Not even as a joke. This problem could be solved – and without deadly violence. We hummed along, the water parting in white foam at our bow, Billville behind us and green fields opening up ahead at the bend in the river. The Bishop came on deck and sat next to me. With her third presence there there was nothing much we could say.
We continued in silence this way for the better part of an hour, until a dock beside a general store appeared ahead. Beth stirred and sat up, running her fingers through that gorgeous blonde hair.
‘You know what – I’m hungry. Bet you are too. Why don’t you pull up over there and I’ll jump ashore and get us some food and some beer. Isn’t that a good idea?’
‘Great!’ I agreed. She goes into the store, we go into high gear and away.
‘I am skint,’ she smiled. ‘Stone broke. If you give me a few bucks I’ll buy lunch. I think a thousand will do.’
Her sweet little girl expression never changed while she said this and I wondered just what kind of trouble she was in. Extortion and blackmail maybe; she certainly had the qualifications for that. I dug deep into my wallet.
‘That’s nice,’ she said, thumbing through the bundle with glowing eyes. ‘I won’t be long. And I know you will be here Jimmy, along with your friend. Haven’t I seen him in the news broadcasts too?’
I glowered after the lovely rotations of her rump as she trotted towards the store.
‘Got our hides nailed to the wall,’ The Bishop said gloomily.
‘Nailed, flayed and tanned. What do we do?’
‘Exactly what she says for the time being. Short of killing her we have very little choice. But I do not believe in killing.’
‘Nor do I. Although this is the first time that I have understood the temptation.’
‘What do you know about her?’
‘Nothing – since I last saw her in school. She says she is in trouble, but I have no idea what she means.’
He nodded in thought. ‘When we are well away from her I’ll get close to a terminal. If she is in the police records I can dig her out.’
‘Will that do us any good?’
‘I have no idea, dear boy. We can only try. Meanwhile we must make the best of the situation. We are well away from the terrors of the pork palace, safely away from our pursuers as well. As long as this creature gets money from us we are safe, for the moment. And you must admit that she is decorative.’
I had no answer to that and could only sit glumly until our uninvited passenger returned.
After lunch we continued our voyage downstream. Exhausted by the morning of sunbathing, Beth went below for a beauty nap. The Bishop wanted a turn at the wheel so I showed him the simple controls and pointed out the navigation markers. We had very little to say to each other. But we were thinking a lot. In midafternoon the object of our fierce cogitation trotted up from below.
‘Such a cute little ship,’ she gushed. ‘The cutest little girls’ room, little kitchen and everything. But only two little beds. How in the world will we all sleep?’
‘In shifts,’ I growled, the sound of her voice already getting tome.
‘You always were a card, Jimmy. I think it best if I sleep below. You and your friend can make do.’
‘Make do, young lady, make do? How does one my age make do on deck when the chill mists of night descend?’ The Bishop’s anger was under control, barely, but her bright smile seemed to be unaware of it.
‘I’m sure that you will find a way,’ she said. ‘Now I would like to stop at the next town we come to, that one there. I left in such a hurry I forgot all my things. Clothes and makeup, you know.’
‘You wouldn’t need a bit of money to buy those things?’ I asked facetiously. She ignored my feeble humour and nodded.
‘Another thousand will do.’
‘I’m going below,’ The Bishop said, and did not emerge again until I had tied up and she was gone. He carried two beers and I took one and drank deep.
‘Murder is out,’ he said firmly.
‘Murder is out,’ I agreed. ‘But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy thinking about it. What do we do?’
‘We don’t just heave anchor and go. She’ll have the police after us in minutes, then will pocket the reward. We must take that into consideration, then
think faster than she can. Coming with us was an impulse, obviously. She is greedy for money and we must keep giving it to her. But sooner or later she will decide that she has had enough of ours and will turn us in for the reward. Is there such a thing as a map aboard?’
That mighty brain was at work, I could tell that. I asked no questions but rooted out the map as quickly as I could. He traced it with his finger.
‘We are here, I imagine, yes here is the very place. While downstream, here, is the bustling city of Val’s Halla. When will we get there?’
I squinted at the scale and marked the distance with my thumb. ‘Could be there by midafternoon tomorrow, if we get an early start.’
His face broke into a smile so wide that his eyes were crinkled half shut. ‘Splendid, absolutely splendid. That will do very nicely indeed.’
‘What will?’
‘My plans. Which I shall keep to myself for the moment since there are details still to be worked out. When she returns you must agree with me, whatever I say, that is all you have to do. Now, next order of business. Where do we sleep tonight?’
‘On the river’s bank,’ I said, heading below. ‘Our friend has all the money that I was carrying so I must get more from our stock. Then I’m going ashore to buy a tent, sleeping bags, all the gear for comfortable camping out.’
‘Capital. I shall man the fort and hone my plans until you return.’
I bought some steaks too, along with a collection of fancy bottles of wine. We needed a major change from the Macswiney cuisine. When the sun was close to the horizon I tied the boat to the trees on the banks of a green meadow, where we could pitch our tent. The Bishop, after smacking his lips over the meat, announced that he would prepare dinner. While he did this, and Beth did her nails, I hammered stakes and got our beds ready. The sun was a ball of orange on the horizon when we tucked into the meal. It was tremendous. No one talked until we were done. When the last morsel was gone The Bishop sighed, raised his glass and sipped, then sighed with repletion.
‘Though I cooked it myself, I must say that meal was a triumph.’
‘It does take the taste of porcuswine out of the mouth,’ I agreed.
‘I didn’t like the wine. Nasty.’ Only her outline was visible in the darkness. Lacking the usual glorious physical accompaniment, her voice, as well as her words, left a very lot to be desired. Yet The Bishop’s deep basso was free of rancour when he spoke again.
‘Beth – I may call you Beth, mayn’t I? Thank you. Beth, we shall be in the city of Val’s Halla tomorrow, where I must go ashore and call into my bank. Our funds are running low. You wouldn’t like our money to run out, would you?’
‘No I wouldn’t.’
‘Thought not. But would you like me to go to the bank and bring you back one-hundred-thousand bucks in small buck bills?’
I heard her gasp. Then she fumbled for the switch and the riding lights above the cockpit came on. She was frowning at The Bishop and, for the very first time, lost her cool.
‘Are you trying to play games with me, old man?’
‘Not at all, young lady. I am simply paying for our safety. You know certain facts that are, shall we say, best left unspoken aloud. I think that sum is a reasonable amount to pay for your continuing silence. Don’t you?’
She hesitated – then burst out laughing. ‘I sure do. Just let me see the colour of those bucks and I may even consider letting you boys continue your journey without poor little me.’
‘Whatever you say my dear, whatever you say.’
Nor would he speak another word on the subject. We retired soon after that, for it had been a busy day for all of us. Beth took possession of the boat and we had the tent. When I returned from setting the alarms to make sure that the boat would still be there in the morning, The Bishop was already in full snore. Before I slept myself I realised that, whatever he was planning, we had at least one more day of freedom before Beth would think of contacting the police. The lure of that money would insure her silence. As I dozed off I realised that The Bishop had undoubtedly planned it that way.
We were humming down the river an hour before dawn, despite Beth’s protests. She emerged later, but her anger soon vanished beneath The Bishop’s monetary ministrations. He described the interest her invested bucks could earn without her spending any of her capital, touched lightly on the consumer goods she would soon purchase, and generally charmed her like a snake with a rabbit. I had no idea what his plans were but I enjoyed every moment of it.
By mid-afternoon I had tied up at the marina on the canal that bisected Val’s Halla. The city centre was close to hand and The Bishop, beard combed and moustache twirled, was neatly turned out and businesslike.
‘This will not take long,’ he said, then left. Beth looked after him, already atwitch with anticipation.
‘He’s really the one they call The Bishop?’ she said when he had gone.
‘I wouldn’t know about that.’
‘Don’t give me that old booshwah. I saw the films on 3V, how somebody got him out. A small guy with a moustache. It had to be you.’
‘Lot of moustaches in this world.’
‘I never thought, when I saw you around the school, you would ever end up like this.’
‘I though the same about you. I admired you from afar.’
‘So did every other pubescent boy in the school. Don’t think I didn’t know it. We used to laugh about it, him being a teacher and all that …’
She shut up and glowered at me and I smiled sweetly and went below to wash the dinner and breakfast dishes that she had so carefully ignored. I was just finishing when there was a hail from the shore.
‘Boat ahoy! Permission to come aboard?’
The Bishop stood on the dockside, beaming and splendid. His new suit must have cost a small fortune. The suitcase that he held up appeared to be made of real animal skin of some kind, with fittings of glowing gold. Beth’s eyes were as wide as saucers. The Bishop climbed aboard and treated us to a conspiratorial wink.
‘Best to get below before I show you what’s in this case. It is not for the world to see.’
Beth led the way and he held the case to his chest until I had closed and locked the door. Then he swept the papers from the table to the deck, placed the case in its centre, and with tantalising precision unlocked and opened the case.
Even I was impressed. There was far more than the hundred-thousand here. Beth stared at it – then reached out and tugged a bundle of thousand buck bills free.
‘Real? Is it real?’ she asked.
‘Guaranteed right from the mint. I saw to that myself.’ With her attention on the money he turned to me. ‘Now, Jim, would you mind doing me a favour. Would you find some rope or twine, I’m sure that you will know what you will need. I want absolute silence as well when you tie this girl up so she cannot move.’
I was expecting something – she was not. Her mouth was just opening to scream when I seized that precious neck and pressed hard just below the ears.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
With savage glee I cut one of the blankets into strips and bound those delicate wrists and trim ankles. I was just putting sticking tape over her mouth when she came to and tried to scream. It came out as a muffled mewl.
‘Can she breathe all right like that?’ The Bishop asked.
‘Perfectly. See the glare in her eye and the angry heaving of that magnificent chest? She is breathing through her nostrils just fine. Now – will you tell me what this is all about?’
‘On deck, if you please.’
He waited until the door was closed behind us before he spoke, rubbing his hands together with joy.
‘Our troubles are over, my boy. I knew that as soon as I looked at the map. There are two things about this fine city that assure me of that. One is the bank, a branch of Galactic Trust with which I have an account – sizeable as you have seen. The second fact of interest is that there is a spaceport here.’
I puzzled over this for a few seco
nds as my sluggish brain slowly added two and two. Then my jaw gaped so hard I could barely speak.
‘You mean that, us, we … we are going offplanet?’
He nodded and grinned. ‘Precisely. This little world has become, shall we say, a little too warm for us. It will be even warmer when our female friend is freed. By that time we shall have shaken the dust of Bit O’Heaven from our boots and we will be lightyears away. You did tell me that you wanted to travel?’
‘I did, of course, but aren’t there controls, inspections, police, things like that?’
‘There are. But customs and immigration can be circumvented if you know how. I know how. And I did check on which ships were here before taking this drastic step. I am sorry that I had no opportunity to warn you – but I was certain that your magnificent reflexes would resolve the matter with ease. When I left here I did not know that this would be the day to put the plan into operation. I intended just to get the money to string the girl along. While keeping track of spacer operations. But the fates are on our side. There is a freighter here from Venia taking on cargo – and leaving in the early hours of the morning. Isn’t that wonderful!’
‘I’m sure that it is. But I would be a lot surer if I knew why.’
‘Jim, your education has been sorely neglected. I thought every schoolboy knew how venal the Venians were? They are the despair of the League polimetricians. Incorrigible. The motto on Venia is La regloj iam ansilias. Which may be freely translated as ‘There are no Fixed Rules’. That is to say there are laws about everything – but bribery can change anything. It is not so much that they are a world of criminals, but rather a planet of twisters.’
‘Sounds nice,’ I agreed. ‘Then what have you arranged?’
‘Nothing yet. But I am positive that opportunity will arrive at the spaceport.’
‘Yes, sure.’ I was far from enthusiastic. The plan had all the hallmarks of improvisation and crossed fingers. But I had little choice. ‘What about the girl?’
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