In my head, I remember the red balloon rising up into the clear blue sky.
“Then all I had to do was fill in the gaps,” Lily continues. “My memories of you, Mum and Dad’s too, your diaries, your experiments, even your university work. Pictures and photos, family videos – all turned into data and added to the code.”
I should be angry at the thought of Lily reading my diaries, but this doesn’t seem to matter now.
“I just wanted to put things right, Maisie,” Lily says, her face stained with tears. “I just wanted the chance to play with you again.”
I feel stunned, the realisation slowly dawning. I’m standing in the middle of Lily’s bedroom, but if what Lily’s telling me is true, then this is all contained on a computer chip – even me. Pythagoras thought that the whole universe was built out of numbers and now I realise that he was right. My universe is made of zeroes and ones.
“I’m so sorry, Maisie,” Lily continues, her voice still raw with tears. “Mum and Dad were right. I should never have run off without you.”
The silver streak in her fringe frames Lily’s face as it crumples again.
“It wasn’t your fault,” I tell her, my heart breaking as I see the pain my sister has been carrying for so long come pouring out. “I was supposed to be the clever one, but I did something so stupid.”
I reach out to hug Lily, but my arms fall right through her. It’s like trying to hug sunlight.
“This is just my avatar,” Lily sobs apologetically as I stagger back in surprise. “After everything went wrong, I didn’t have the time to add myself properly to the virtual world. Not how I used to be anyway. I just wanted to give you this second chance of life, but I’ve made such a mess of things.”
I shake my head, my own tears rolling down my face.
“You haven’t made a mess of things,” I tell her, still astounded by Lily’s achievement. “This is the best game I’ve ever played.”
When Lily and I used to play Fun Kart Fury, there was another bug that we found, but instead of just making a silly farting sound when you tried to accelerate, this glitch gave you infinite lives. That’s what Lily has given me now. She’s given me infinite lives.
But it’s not enough.
I look at my sister, her face lined with cares. I need her to know that I’m so grateful for what she’s done. Reaching out with my hand, I gently stroke her face, my fingers shimmering as they trace the line of her reflection. I can almost feel the warmth of her skin as the zeroes and ones fire in my brain.
“Thank you, Lily. For everything.”
And then I turn around and open the bedroom door.
“Maisie!”
My sister’s shout snaps into silence as I stare into the void.
An infinite darkness stares back at me.
Black holes are created when a giant star dies. After using up all the fuel that powers the process of nuclear fusion, the centre of the star collapses in upon itself, causing a massive explosion that blasts part of the star into space. All the matter that’s left then gets squeezed into a tiny point to create a black hole.
That’s what I’m looking at now. My life exploded when the balloon hit the power line, leaving behind this infinite blackness.
The gravity inside a black hole is so strong that nothing can escape. No light, no matter, not even information. And at the heart of a black hole is a point of infinite density – a tiny speck even smaller than an atom – where even the laws that describe how the universe works break down. This is called the singularity.
I shiver as I stand on the edge of the event horizon, a thin sliver of space-time separating me from the irresistible pull of the black hole. Just one step forward and I’m never coming back. I glance over my shoulder to see Lily, her hand still reaching out towards me, this action frozen in a single moment of time.
Then I turn back towards the black hole waiting for me outside the door.
Some scientists think that the singularity at the heart of a black hole might hold the answers to the mysteries of the universe. Maybe it’s time somebody found out if this is true.
Closing my eyes, I step forward into the singularity and surrender to forever.
16
Through the broken railings I can see the back of my house on the other side of the railway line, the white canvas of the budget gazebo flapping through a gap in the fence.
I’m back on the other side of the railway bridge as Lily runs home and I know what happens next.
I can feel the warmth of the metal railing under my fingers as I rest my hand against the fence, but as I scream at myself to turn around, my mind doesn’t seem to be listening. It’s like I’m trapped inside my own head, powerless to act as I glance down at my watch and then squeeze through the railings.
Sacks of gravel are piled up immediately in front of me, but my feet seem to know the path they want to follow, skirting around the edge of the sacks as I silently scream at them to stop.
I don’t know what’s happening to me. When I stepped into the singularity, I thought that I’d find oblivion. I should’ve been crushed by the weight of gravity, my body stretched and spaghettified as I was sucked into the black hole. Instead it’s brought me back here to the moment of my death.
My mind recoils in fear. Is the infinity at the heart of the black hole going to make me relive this again and again and again?
Loose stones crunch under my trainers as I walk across the tracks. I’m nearly a third of the way there now, my eyes fixed straight ahead as I send desperate signals to my brain to stop. It’s like I’m a passenger in my own body, strapped into the child seat in the back, unable to grab hold of the wheel as the driver accelerates towards the crash barrier at full speed.
Ahead of me, the steel rails gleam under the summer sunshine. Around my wrist the ribbons of the balloons are slick with sweat and I know what comes next…
I tense myself – waiting for the inevitable explosion when the balloon touches the power line overhead.
Then I hear a shout from directly behind me, my sister’s voice raised in an anguished scream.
“Maisie!”
Turning round, I see Lily, her face ash-white as she grabs hold of my hand. With a single action, she rips the ribbons from my wrist, letting these go as the balloons float up into the sky.
Looking up I see an arc of electricity shoot out from the power line, zapping the gold balloon. A blinding flash so bright that it hurts my eyes.
BANG!
The sound of this explosion seems to jolt my mind back into my body. Raising my hand to shield my eyes, I watch as a gentle rain of shredded aluminium foil falls from the sky. Some of these scraps are still burning, shining like embers as, above the power lines, the surviving red balloon soars up into the open sky.
“What are you doing?” Lily shouts, shaking me hard. “That could’ve been you!”
I stare dumbfounded at my sister, her face unlined with age.
She’s fifteen again and I’m still alive.
Lily looks at me, her anger incandescent.
Then we both burst into tears.
Lily wraps her arms around me, hugging me tight. I hug her back, burying my face in her hair. Sweat sticks it to my cheek, but I just don’t care.
“I’m sorry, Maisie,” Lily sobs. “I should never have run off without you.”
“Don’t be silly,” I tell her, unable to believe that I’m able to hold my sister again. “I’m the stupid one. I don’t know what I was thinking trying to get across the tracks. I just wanted to beat you back home.”
These final words dissolve into sobs, as Lily gently shushes my tears.
We hold each other tightly, clinging on as the world spins at nearly a thousand kilometres per hour.
“Don’t tell Mum and Dad what just happened,” Lily says finally, her voice hot in my ear. “They’d kill me if they knew I’d left you on your own.”
I shake my head, unable to stop a nervous giggle from escaping from my lips.
“I think they’d kill me too.”
Lily snorts in reply and, before I know it, we’re both laughing, a wave of hysteria overtaking us that slowly wipes our tears away. Finally letting go of the hug, we stand there for a moment, another secret shared bringing us closer together.
The Sun is shining down overhead, our shadows truncated as they stretch across the loose stones. Then Lily casts a nervous glance up the tracks.
“Come on,” she says, looping her arm around my shoulder. “Let’s go home.”
We start to walk back towards the fence, sunlight bathing the broken railings in a golden light.
Scientists don’t know what’s inside the heart of a black hole. When I stepped into the singularity, the laws of physics as we know them broke down. The Big Bang theory says that our universe began as an infinitely small point containing an infinitely huge amount of matter. Just like the singularity at the heart of a black hole.
Maybe that’s all our universe is – a tiny speck inside another black hole. From the outside our universe might look infinitely small, but from the inside it would look infinite. Maybe that’s where I am now.
As we squeeze through the railings and start to walk back over the bridge, I think about what this means. Lily is right by my side, the plastic bag with the party plates swinging between us. As we near the top of the bridge, I can see the back of our house. The gazebo is standing proudly in the back garden, ready for my birthday party, and through the patio doors I can see Mum and Dad in the kitchen.
The reality is our universe is made of elementary particles. Everything that exists is built from these smallest building blocks. Mum, Dad, Lily and I are just electrons and quarks stuck together with the help of gluons and photons. But when you get down to these tiny particles and look even closer all you’ll find is numbers.
This is why scientists have to be super-good at maths. The universe is built out of numbers.
I don’t know if I’m still inside the computer-generated reality that Lily built for me. But some scientists think that our universe might just be a hologram. According to Mrs Bradbury, these scientists think that zeroes and ones are the only things that are really real…
Lily squeezes my hand as we cross the bridge. I look up at my sister and smile. I can hear the birds singing in the trees and feel the sunshine on my skin as we walk together hand in hand.
I don’t know what’s really real, but then nobody does. All I know is I’m ten years old and I’m walking home with my big sister to get ready for my birthday party.
It’s going to be the best day ever.
Acknowledgements
Science and stories both help us to make sense of the world and I’d like to thank the authors of the following books for expanding my understanding of reality: A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking, Reality Is Not What It Seems by Carlo Rovelli, Our Mathematical Universe by Max Tegmark, Human Universe by Professor Brian Cox and Andrew Cohen, Universal: A Guide to the Cosmos by Brian Cox and Jeff Forshaw, Cosmos by Carl Sagan, The Universe in Your Hand by Christophe Galfard, The Unknown Universe by Stuart Clark, The Infinite Book by John D. Barrow, and A Brief History of Infinity by Brian Clegg. I’m also indebted to the authors of countless articles in New Scientist and BBC Focus magazines, as well as the makers of programmes such as Horizon and The Infinite Monkey Cage, who help bring science to life for me. Thank you too to Alom Shaha, Helen Czerski, Ian Hamerton and Olly Smith for their scientific guidance and advice. Any scientific errors or exaggerations remaining in the text are, of course, my own, and reflect Maisie’s own understanding of the scientific theories and ideas explored.
It took more than one person to turn a story that lived on the hard drive of my mind into the book that you’re holding in your hands. I’d like to thank my wonderful editor Kirsty Stansfield for her sage words of advice and my fantastic agent Lucy Juckes for all her support. Thank you too to Fi, Catherine, Clare, Nicola, Hester, Rebecca, Kate, Ola, Tom, Jess and all the team at Nosy Crow, as well as Matt Saunders for producing the wonderful artwork that graces the cover of this book.
Finally, I’d like to thank my family for all their love, support and understanding. I couldn’t have written this story without you.
Also by
CHRISTOPHER EDGE
THE MANY WORLDS OF ALBIE BRIGHT
“Heartwarming.”
The Guardian
“Proves the theory that novels about science can be enormous fun. Give the man his own element on the periodic table of children’s authors.”
The Times, Children’s Book of the Week
“A book with a big brain, big laughs and a big, big heart.”
Frank Cottrell Boyce
THE JAMIE DRAKE EQUATION
“Packed with astrophysics, emotion and invention on a galactic scale, this is science fiction at its most moving and exciting.”
The Guardian
“Told with the intelligence and heart we expect of Christopher Edge… Edge has found the equation that solves the problem of how to write a fun, intellectually challenging novel with an emotional centre. It’s a big tick.”
The Times, Children’s Book of the Week
“With family drama and alien intrigue, this captures both the wonder of space and the complexity of growing up.”
The Bookseller
Copyright
First published in the UK in 2018 by Nosy Crow Ltd
The Crow’s Nest, 14 Baden Place
Crosby Row, London SE1 1YW
www.nosycrow.com
www.christopheredge.co.uk
ISBN: 978 1 78800 029 1
eISBN: 978 1 78800 030 7
Nosy Crow and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Nosy Crow Ltd
Text copyright © Christopher Edge, 2018
Cover and chapter opener illustrations copyright © Matt Saunders, 2018
The right of Christopher Edge to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted.
All rights reserved
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, hired out or otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of Nosy Crow Ltd.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Printed and bound in the UK by Clays Ltd, St. Ives Plc
Typeset by Tiger Media
Papers used by Nosy Crow are made from wood grown in sustainable forests
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THE MANY WORLDS OF ALBIE BRIGHT
Nominated for the 2017 CILIP Carnegie Medal
Shortlisted for the Teach Primary
New Children’s Fiction Award 2016
Longlisted for the UKLA Book Awards 2017
“Heartwarming.”
The Guardian
“Proves the theory that novels about science can be enormous fun. Give the man his own element on the periodic table of children’s authors.”
The Times, Children’s Book of the Week
“Moving, and exploding with scientific ideas and wonder.”
The Herald
“Hilarious and full of heart.”
Piers Torday
“A clever, funny and very touching novel.”
LoveReading4Kids
“I’d love this book in all the worlds. Heartbreaking, heartwarming, heartstopping. Amazing.”
Holly Smale
“A book with a big brain, big laughs and a big, big heart.”
Frank Cottrell Boyce
THE JAMIE DRAKE EQUATION
Nominated for the 2018 CILIP Carnegie Medal
“Packed with astrophysics, emotion and invention on a galactic scale, this is science fiction at its most moving and exciting.”
The Guardian
“Told with the intelligence and heart we expect of Christopher Edge… Edge has found the equation that solves the problem of how to write a fun, intellectually challenging novel with an emotional centre. It’s a big tick.”
The Times, Children’s Book of the Week
“With family drama and alien intrigue, this captures both the wonder of space and the complexity of growing up.”
The Bookseller
“A light speed adventure: touching, gripping and intelligent.”
Ross Welford
“A story of huge ideas and even huger heart.”
Abi Elphinstone
“An adventure that wears its out-of-this-world-ness with verve and delight, but which never forgets where its heart is.”
A.F. Harrold
“Filled with his trademark combination of wit, pathos and hilarity.”
Booktrust
The Infinite Lives of Maisie Day Page 9