by Sara V. Zook
The door dinged and opened. I glanced at the people waiting to get in the elevator and moved toward the exit doors that led outside.
“I’ll go get the car,” Darin told us. “I’ll pull around and pick you up.” Then he turned around and gave me a wary look. “You want to come with me, Vi?”
“Um, no, that’s okay. I’ll wait with Livvy,” I announced
“You two can go. I’ll be fine,” Livvy said.
“No, I don’t want you to be by yourself,” I insisted.
Darin’s eyes shifted between the two of us. Then he turned and walked out the doors alone. And then we were just left to stand there, neither of us having anything to say to the other. I was positive she viewed me as a thief, and I viewed myself as Darin’s chance to move on. He had moved on. Livvy was just a bump in the road for us. He assured me she’d be moving out in no time and things would be back to normal. Looking forward to something is always a good thing in my book.
“So, how are you feeling?” I asked, feeling the need to say something.
“Oh, I’m okay,” she replied quietly, pushing a clump of her curly short hair behind her ear.
And that was it. Nothing more to say. I couldn’t just ask her how life had been in a coma. I couldn’t ask how her life had been when she was with Darin. How was the hospital food? Everything sounded stupid, and so I figured instead of making things worse than they already were, I’d just shut up and wait for the car to pull around. If Livvy had anything to say to me, she could, although I really doubted she did. She didn’t want to know anything about me. We certainly weren’t going to be BFFs. We weren’t going to like each other. It was inevitable that we be mortal enemies to the very end. Her end was supposed to be a lot shorter than mine. Since that hadn’t happened, I’d just have to get her better as quickly and best as I could and get her the hell out of mine and Darin’s home.
SIX
Livvy
So this was it. I stared up at the tall two-story home decorated with gray stones and two large trees in the front yard—if you wanted to call it a yard. My god. Darin lived right smack in the middle of a development. Besides a few modifications, the house was a cookie cutter to the one next door and the one beside it. This wasn’t like him at all. I swallowed whatever pride I had left and got out of the car. The air smelled of rain, just like my mood, bitter and dark. I felt Violet’s eyes on me, gauging my reaction. She intimidated me, and I was trying hard to keep that knowledge from her. This looked more like her dream home, a place she could easily jog down the street in the morning to show off her perfect figure. She was in shape, I’d give her that.
I stepped through the front door and immediately the overpowering scent of lemons filled my nostrils as if I’d shoved them right up my nose myself.
“It’s lemon oil,” Darin told me, smirking as he saw me wrinkle my nose. “Violet has this machine that mists it in the air.”
“Keeps you healthy as an overall disinfectant,” Violet added with a tone of annoyance. “Smells amazing, too.”
Their house was impeccable, which made my intimidation of Violet increase even more. If she could look so good and have my husband, the least that could happen was she could be a total slob.
“Make yourself at home, Liv,” Darin said, tossing his keys into a little bowl on a table just inside the front door.
“Yes, make yourself at home,” Violet insisted, though I knew she really meant hurry up and get the hell out.
My eyes scanned the artwork on the living room walls, the plush white furniture and pictures of Violet and Darin together on their travels. I swallowed. I was about to be sick. How could I ever possibly think I could do this, stay here with the two of them? I’d be better off on the streets or in some shelter. At least there I wouldn’t have to see them together, in love.
“Come on, I’ll show you your room.” Darin gestured toward the hallway.
Violet’s mouth curled up into another smirk. “I’ll go start some dinner.” She could cook, too. Awesome.
I walked behind Darin, taking in his stride, his broad shoulders and wavy brown hair he had slicked back neatly with gel. After seven years, he still looked the same. I wanted very much to reach out and touch his back, run my hand up the back of his neck and through the thick ends of his hair, but no, that wasn’t appropriate anymore. I’d heard what he said in the hospital when he told me he was with someone else. But being here in a home that wasn’t mine and Darin’s but was Darin and Violet’s—that made it real and my heart was shattering within my chest.
“Sorry,” he apologized right off the bat. “We kind of just threw this together and didn’t have anywhere else to put some of the exercise equipment.”
I glanced at the treadmill and rack of free weights shoved into the corner. But there was a double bed neatly made near the window, a night stand and a lamp.
Darin smiled. “I know it’s not that great. Sorry,” he apologized again.
I nodded. What an inconvenience I was. “It’s great. Thank you.”
“There’s an empty closet over there. We’ll get you some clothes tomorrow. Bathroom’s right across the hall. We have our own in our bedroom, so that one’s all yours.” He glanced over at me, then hurried toward the door. “You hungry?”
“I guess, a little.” I didn’t know if I could stomach having dinner with the two of them.
“Go ahead and get settled. I’ll holler when the food’s ready.”
I watched him leave, then huddled my arms against myself and turned to look at the room. I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my hand over the silky copper comforter. What was to become of my life now? I literally fell asleep with everything and woke up with nothing. I didn’t know how to handle all of these emotions running through me. Stressed, yes I was stressed, but shocked and overwhelmed more so. I didn’t know where I should even begin to get back on track—and by myself, too. My parents had both died a long time ago. I had a few aunts and uncles, but they’d been estranged from me before I was with Darin. Who knows if they were even living still. I had been an only child. There really had only been Darin. My mind was racing. I put my face in the palms of my hands and sighed. I could see the outline of the seam on my gray sweatpants out of the corner of my eye. They were the only clothes I had. Darin had kept none of my things. How pitiful I was. I twisted my wedding band around my finger. It didn’t even mean anything anymore, but I couldn’t take it off. It was the only thing that felt familiar anymore.
There was a small rap on the door that was already cracked open. I looked up at Darin peeking his face in. “Violet put a small meal together. Come on and eat.”
I pushed my hair behind my ears and stood up. Here goes nothing, I thought.
The kitchen wasn’t huge, but it was eloquently put together and decorated. A dining room table sat at the far end with soup, salad, and finger foods placed symmetrically in the middle.
I sat down on one side. In looking up, Darin and Violet were across from me, both of them staring. I swallowed hard and tried to think about breathing normally. I reached for the glass of water already poured for me and found my hand to be shaking.
“Go ahead and dig in,” Violet told me.
There were several moments of exaggerated silence. No one knew what to say. Violet and Darin couldn’t talk about their day to day activities in front of me because first of all, it was none of my business, and secondly, they knew—at least I suspected Darin did—that it would only make me feel worse than I already did (if that were even possible). I couldn’t say anything because the questions I still had came from my past life that no longer existed. I couldn’t talk about old memories or when we did this or that. This entire situation was ridiculous.
“So,” Violet chimed in eventually in between bites of her veggies. “There was a message on the machine about a news crew wanting to come out to the house tomorrow to interview you about your situation, you know, coming out of the coma and everything.”
I noticed Darin’s eyebrows shoot up. I put
my head down and pretended to be very interested in my plate of food. “Oh.”
“So you’ll have to let me know if you’re up for it. They want a call back,” she continued.
I nodded. “I need to get some clothes first. I don’t want to be interviewed looking like this.”
“However much money you need, just let me know,” Darin said.
I saw Violet’s head quickly turn his way at those words, but he either didn’t notice or ignored her.
“Thanks,” I mumbled. Should I be grateful for his and Violet’s generosity? I certainly didn’t feel grateful. I felt like a stray puppy they were forced to bring inside because of bad weather.
“Do you have any idea what you’d like to do?” Violet asked, slurping on her water.
“Do?” I asked.
She nodded. “You know, career-wise, house-wise, any thoughts?”
I sighed. “No, Violet. I haven’t really thought about what my options are,” I said rather dryly.
“She just got released today, Vi,” Darin added.
Yeah, give me a freaking break. “Believe me, Violet, when I say I want to be out of your hair just as fast as you want me out.”
Violet’s mouth dropped open a little. “I…I didn’t mean it like that.”
I smirked and took another bite of sandwich.
“I was just curious is all.” She frowned.
“I promise you I’ll explore my options and get back to you on what my plan is.” I knew I sounded angry and bitter, but damn it, I was. None of this was fair, and I didn’t ask to be here, either.
“Livvy, it’s fine,” Darin insisted.
I dabbed my mouth with my napkin. I had gotten in a few bites of food. That would have to do for the night. I couldn’t be here in this kitchen with my husband and his girlfriend. I just couldn’t. “Please, excuse me. I’m not feeling well.” I darted off in the direction of the bedroom.
“Liv!” I heard Darin shout after me, but I ignored him. I couldn’t deal with all of this.
I collapsed onto the bed and dug my fingers into the sides of the pillow. I felt as if the walls of the room were pulling together and trapping me in. I heard angry voices coming from the kitchen. I assumed Darin was chastising Violet. Then within seconds, he was at my door. He shut the door behind him and stared at me.
“What do you want, Darin?” I asked, my eyes on the ceiling.
“Are you all right?”
I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “Should I be? Do you know how hard this is getting?”
He ran his hand through his hair, half of it sticking up in clumps. “I know, Liv, I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t ask you to do that.”
“Do what?”
I sat up and looked at him. “Stick up for me with her. She has a point. I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere.”
“Livvy…”
“And I didn’t ask you to take me in. Why did you bring me here, Darin?”
“What other choice do I have? I know this situation sucks for us all, believe me, I’ve thought it all through, but what can I do? I can’t just abandon you after everything we used to have.”
“You don’t think you’ve abandoned me?”
He growled in frustration, his hands clenching together in fists at his sides.
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean that. I get it. I really do. I’m just upset and can’t think straight right now.”
“I’m not a cold-hearted bastard, Liv.” His dark eyes were piercing and clouding with emotions of his own. “It may seem that way to you—to everyone else, but I’m doing the best I can with a situation way more fucked up than I can even put in words.”
I licked my lips and pressed them together. “I’ll just go one day at a time. Things will get easier, right?”
He didn’t respond right away, his eyes glued to the far wall as if deep in thought.
“I’m tired, Darin. I’m going to go to sleep now.”
“Okay. Goodnight.”
I watched him leave again, shutting the door behind him this time. I couldn’t help it, but I did feel abandoned. I was twisted and pulled inside, tormented by jealousy and fueled by rage. There was no one I could even talk to about all of this. All I knew is that I had to get out of this house tomorrow and focus on getting me back. If I had to start anywhere, it had to be there.
I eventually managed to fall asleep but awoke in the middle of the night. My bedroom light was still turned on. I had to empty my bladder and go to the kitchen for a drink.
I felt the chill of the hardwood floor underneath my bare feet as I lightly stepped from the room and into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. Wow, I was a mess. I needed to add getting something done with my hair to my list of things to do tomorrow.
I fumbled to find a light switch in the kitchen. I finally managed to find one and made my way to the cabinets. I opened each one until I found where they kept the glasses. I pulled one down from a shelf and placed it on the counter. I hadn’t taken notice before, but the shape of the kitchen was odd. There seemed to be a corner that led somewhere. Without hesitation, I found myself tiptoeing closer to investigate. It was another room, a bedroom—Darin and Violet’s bedroom. The door was open wide, and there was just enough light from the kitchen to see in. There lay Darin on his back asleep in his boxers with no blankets on. He was still so remarkably handsome, perfectly chiseled abs as I remembered him, the muscles in his chest lay relaxed as he slept. I found myself moving forward to his side to look more closely at his face. The lines of stress that had deepened around the corners of his eyes were faded in the dim light. I stared at his lips. I pressed my fingertip to my own mouth as I remembered back to the day we had spent the morning hiking.
We reached a scenic overlook and took a moment to enjoy the view along with a long drink of cold water. We had both bent down to get into the backpack at the same time and bumped heads. Laughing and holding our wounded foreheads, we both stood and found ourselves facing each other, staring into each other’s eyes. We had hung out a couple of times, but Darin had never made a move. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep it on a friend level or if he felt something more. I stared into his dark, piercing eyes. The colors of brown seemed to stir together as if in the midst of a storm whenever he was thinking. I saw him swallow, his hand finding mine.
“Livvy,” he whispered, his eyes moving down to my lips. “Can I kiss you?”
I had grinned and without answering, pressed my mouth to his. His other hand moved up the back of my neck as no other words had to be said, and I knew from that moment that Darin Thorne was full of passion and love. He was the one for me, and I’d never let him go. Nothing would come between us. My life was now complete.
I wanted to run the tip of my finger around the outline of his lips as he lay there asleep. I reached out—then stopped myself. The other side of the bed shifted and Violet turned over on her side. I had been in such a trance that I forgot to take notice that she had even been there. My heart went numb. Another woman was sleeping in the same bed as my husband. Violet now snuggled her head in the crevice between Darin’s biceps and armpit. She had on a tiny silk nightgown, her long, dark hair sprawled out behind her like a fan and her arm lying across Darin’s chest. His free hand reached out and found itself resting on her cheek in response to her touch.
The confusion of the situation, at the sight before me, made me gasp and stumble backward. The sight of the two of them sleeping side by side turned my stomach sour. I covered my mouth with one hand, the other one resting against the wall to brace myself from falling over. Tears stung my eyes as I struggled not to let an impending whimper slip from my lips. I bolted from the room and through the kitchen, not even bothering to turn off the light, and returned to my bedroom. I buried my face in the pillow, allowing the sobs to come on then. Jealousy followed by a heavy sadness encompassed my chest with an ache so sharp, I was sure my heart was literally breaking in two at this very moment.
>
It was my own fault. I had been nosey, but still—they couldn’t shut their door? They had looked so peaceful, so beautiful, like they belonged together. Who was I kidding? They did belong together. I had no part of Darin’s life anymore.
The pain still hadn’t subsided as I lifted my face from the tear-soaked pillow and turned over to wipe my nose with the back of my hand. I had to get it together and get out of this house. I wanted to cover a lot of ground tomorrow. I did want to have a plan by this time tomorrow night. I knew I needed rest, but there was only one problem with that. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was that image of Violet’s body pressed against my husband.
SEVEN
Darin
The doorbell rang. I jolted awake and sleepily looked over at the alarm clock.
“What time is it?” Vi asked, her arm thrust over her eyes.
“Six.”
“Six?”
The doorbell rang again and then another time.
“Who the hell is here this early?” Vi mumbled.
Sighing, I pulled back the sheets and fumbled for a pair of jeans crumpled up on the floor. “Go back to sleep. I’ll check it out.” I should be out of bed anyway for work. I walked through the kitchen and made my way to the front door with nothing else on but the jeans. I hiked them up higher on my hips and ran my hand back through my hair to smooth it as I jerked open the door in annoyance.
“Darin?”
I blinked a couple of times before actually recognizing her. “Beverly? What are you doing here?”
She pushed past me without waiting to be invited inside. I shut the door again and turned to look at her.
“Is she here?” Beverly asked, her hands resting impatiently on her wide hips.
“What? Do you know what time it is?”
She huffed out a sigh of irritation. I noticed then that her eyes were puffy as if she’d been crying. “I know. I drove all the way here as soon as I found out. I can’t believe it. It’s true, isn’t it?”
Beverly used to be my neighbor—mine and Livvy’s neighbor—when we bought our first home together shortly after getting married. She and Liv had become good friends. Beverly had been a single mother with three little kids, and oftentimes I found Livvy watching Beverly’s kids for her when she was in a pinch. Livvy had been too nice to say no. Livvy had been great with kids anyway. She never minded.