by Sara V. Zook
“I remember. Believe me, I remember.”
“Then what are you jumping on my back for?”
He stared at me in the darkness for a moment, the light from the kitchen illuminating his face. I didn’t know if it was the cigarettes or the sun in California, but the skin on his face looked tougher. There were lines around his eyes and mouth that weren’t there before. “I just don’t get it.”
“Get what?” I asked him, practically yelling now.
“Why is Violet still here?”
I closed my eyes as my hands clenched into fists at my sides. “How you can say that? Violet’s been with me through everything.”
“Oh, that’s bullshit if I’ve ever heard it.”
“Shane, you’re crossing the line here,” I warned him. My fingernails were making imprints on the palms of my hands.
“She isn’t your savior or anything, Darin. You were already through the worst of it when you met her. She’s just some chick who you found comfort in. Basically I see Violet as a rebound.”
“Careful, Shane. You’re pissing me off.”
“What are you going to do? Punch me?”
I just stood there for a few seconds, trying to calm myself down and not do anything I’d regret tomorrow. There were already too many regrets dragging me down right now.
“Didn’t think so,” Shane added in a cocky tone. “Get Violet out of here,” he said in more of a whisper now. “She’s no Livvy, not by a milestone.”
“I promised her I’d marry her.”
“And the doctors promised you Liv wasn’t coming back either. So what? Are you going to sacrifice your happiness just to keep a promise to Violet?”
I sighed. “Give me one of those.”
“What?”
I motioned toward his pocket. “A cigarette.”
He pulled one from his pocket and handed it to me along with a lighter. It had been a long time since I’d smoked. “You make it sound so simple.”
“Well, to me, it is simple. If I had the love of my life back, no matter what, I’d drop everything for her. Everything.”
“How can you even say something like that? Do you even know what you’re talking about when you say love of my life? Have you even had one serious relationship, Shane?” The cigarette tasted awful. I handed the lighter back to my brother and let the thing burn in between my fingers.
Shane smirked. “Hey, I’ve had plenty of serious relationships.”
I gave him a wary look.
“Okay. Maybe just a few. But still…I’ve seen you with Livvy, and I’ve seen you with Violet. If I’ve ever seen true love—however you want to say it—it’s you with Livvy.”
“I’ve been with Violet so long. I don’t even remember what it was like with Livvy except what I’ve imagined that I’ve missed, if that makes sense. Sometimes when we lose people, we glorify things in our minds.”
“Well, I remember, brother. You were happy. You’re not happy now. You’re just okay. And that’s good, but when you can be happy, really happy, why settle for just okay?”
I sighed and sucked in a deep breath of fresh air. “I just can’t tell Violet to get out of my life. I do love her, regardless of what you think.”
Shane made a hissing sound as if I were lying through my teeth. “Whatever you say, but you’d better get your shit together. You know what’s going to happen, don’t you?”
“What?”
“You’re going to end up losing them both. There’s no way two women are going to tolerate being under the same roof together for much longer. You can’t hold onto them both.” He looked down at my hand. “You going to finish that thing or what?”
I held up the cigarette. “It’s all yours.” I handed it over.
“I’m still pissed you didn’t call me. I deserved a phone call, you know.”
I rubbed the scruff on the bottom of my chin. “I know. You’re right. I really am sorry about that.”
“I had to fly out here right away to see what was going on. I seriously can’t believe Livvy’s back. Damn, it’s so good to see her smiling face.”
I swallowed and stared out into the darkness of the night. “Yeah, it really is.”
THIRTEEN
Violet
I rubbed my hand against the sheet beside me. The bed was empty. Then I remembered what today was—Monday. Darin had gone to work. Shane had left late last night as we had dropped him off at the airport. I sighed and rolled back over to look at the clock. Almost 11:00 a.m. Damn, I had really slept in. I was usually a morning person, up and jogging and having ten things accomplished by now. The stress of having Darin’s wife living with us was really taking its toll on me.
I lazily got out of the bed and made my way to the shower. I turned it the whole way to hot. I used to enjoy my peaceful days alone during the week. Now all I could think about were ways to get out of the house just to get away from her or ways to get her out of the house, out of this town, out of Darin’s life…
I stepped into the hot water and let it slide down over my body. I had to think positively. Having seen Shane had me a little flustered. He had made it so obvious his affection toward Livvy. I could only imagine what he and Darin discussed, but I couldn’t let that deter me from what I had talked about with Darin. I had to keep him focused on setting up and distributing those divorce papers to Livvy. She had had her turn with him. Now it was my turn, and I’d put up with this crap long enough. She was healthy and perfectly capable of living on her own. I was pretty sure I had Darin convinced. He just needed another little push, a little birdie who constantly whispered in his ear, that little birdie being me of course.
I rubbed shampoo through my hair followed by conditioner. Then I picked up a bottle of my expensive body wash and worked it into my skin. The aroma of the rose petals was revitalizing and waking me up.
I had just toweled off and slipped on a pair of jeans and a baby blue T-shirt, my wet hair trailing along my back, when the doorbell rang. Who could that be? All kinds of thoughts went through my head. We’d already had an old neighbor spring in on us, Darin’s brother…could this be someone else from Livvy’s past discovering she was back from the dead?
I had just reached the door, my hand on the knob, when Livvy came up behind me.
“It’s for me!” she cried out desperately.
My mouth gaped open a little as I turned and looked at her. She was all dolled up, her hair pulled back and piled on the top of her head as little curls too short to pin back peeked out from her forehead. She had on a stylish dressy top and a flowy skirt that didn’t quite reach her knees followed by dressy black pumps.
Livvy dashed in front of me and opened the door. My mouth gaped open even wider.
“Hi, Tim,” Livvy said, sounding as if she were out of breath.
Tim the cameraman? My shock twisted into pure delight as I realized what this was—a date. Livvy had a date set up with the cameraman.
This guy was grinning from ear to ear. His gaze shifted between us uneasily as he held up a bouquet of yellow roses and held them out for Livvy.
“For me?” she asked, holding them while ducking her head to give them a quick sniff.
He clasped his hands together as if not knowing what else to do with them. “Yeah. I didn’t know what you liked, so…”
“Thank you. They’re beautiful.” Livvy’s eyes flashed to me, and I realized I was giving them no privacy whatsoever as I just stood there and gawked. Words could not express how ecstatic I was at seeing another man coming to Livvy’s aid. “Would you mind putting these in some water for me, Violet?”
I gladly took the flowers. “Sure.” I would do just about anything to get this to turn into full blown true love.
“Ready?” Tim asked.
“Yeah.” Livvy pushed past me and out the door toward Tim’s hunk of junk truck parked in front of the house.
I wanted to yell out have a great time, make sure to make out, get engaged, run off to Vegas and get hitched, never come back, b
ut all that came out was, “Have fun.”
I watched Tim open the passenger side door and help Livvy in his truck before I shut the front door. I leaned against it for a little while just gazing at these cheap yellow roses and praying with all my might that these two hit it off. I was overjoyed at the thought that Livvy had a date. I was probably happier about it than she was. Oh my goodness, this day couldn’t be any better. I could spread out all my wedding planning stuff all over the living room and jump right into it.
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Darin
I drove my car up in front of the garage door and debated about whether or not I should turn off the engine. My meeting had been shorter than I’d anticipated, and the boss had told me to take the rest of the afternoon off, telling me I looked like shit and needed a good night’s sleep.
I looked at my reflection in the rearview mirror and frowned. I really did look like shit, that much was true, but good luck getting a good night’s sleep in this crazy house of horrors. I’d just gotten off spending a weekend with my brother who took every chance he got to tell me what a mistake I was making letting Liv go. Then I had Vi on the other hand nibbling on my ear while repeatedly saying divorce papers, divorce papers…
I gripped the steering wheel and tried to think of somewhere I could go. Surely anywhere would be better than here. I growled and turned the engine off. My stomach nagged at me, and it wasn’t hunger. I was pretty sure it was an ulcer. I ran my hand through my hair and threw open the car door. I made my way to the front door and hesitated one last time before opening it and stepping inside.
Silence. That was the usual when I got home anyway. Liv usually locked herself in her room and Vi in our room. The only thing ever screaming its head off was the thick haze of tension that seemed to rule over us anymore.
Violet straightened up when she saw me. She was seated on the edge of the couch with magazines sprawled out before her on the coffee table. “Darin, you’re home early,” she said cheerfully.
I narrowed my eyes at her. What had she done with Livvy? Was I going to have to dispose of a dead body in the basement? A smile spread out across her face. She was overly happy. It took a lot to make Violet seem like a ray of sunshine.
“What’s going on?” I asked, sitting down beside her, my focus going down to the magazines to see different models portraying all sorts of wedding dresses on one side of the table followed by pictures of wedding cakes on the other side.
Violet clapped her hands together. “Oh, just…planning our dream wedding.”
I nodded my head. She was still way too cheery. “My meeting ran short. Hanlin told me to go home. Said I looked like shit.”
“Did he?” Violet leaned her head over and rested it on my shoulder. “Well, good then. We can go out and have some dinner together later tonight if you want. Are you hungry now? I can make you some lunch. I can make you a sandwich.”
“Did Livvy have a doctor’s appointment today or something?” I asked, wanting to get the details over with of where she was.
That ear-splitting grin appeared quickly on Vi’s face again as she pulled her head back up. “No.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Okay.” My stomach began to do flip-flops. Surely Livvy hadn’t…moved out. No, she couldn’t have, not without me, without my financial support. She wasn’t capable of doing that on her own. “So, where is she, then?”
“Oh, Darin,” Vi exclaimed, “it’s the most wonderful news ever!”
“What is?” Damn it, I just wanted her to spit it out. I was on the verge of freaking out, and I didn’t even know why, but something didn’t feel right.
“It’s Livvy,” Violet continued so slowly that I thought I was going to have to shake her to get the information out of her. “She’s on a date.”
It took a moment for what she’d just said to actually process in my brain. “What? What are you talking about? She doesn’t even know anybody. Who’s she with?”
Violet seemed so excited she was about to burst. “With Tim.”
“Who the hell is Tim? I don’t know any Tims…”
Violet reached over to brush a piece of hair out of my eyes. I backed away from her so that she couldn’t. Her eyes clouded with confusion over why I’d pulled away from her before they returned to their state of sheer bliss again. “Tim is the cameraman who was over here during the interview. They must’ve exchanged numbers, because he showed up at the door a little before lunchtime and picked her up.”
I could feel my blood pressure rising as my heart pounded harder. A date? With the camera guy? I remembered seeing the two of them talking as things were being packed up, but had he really been ballsy enough to hit on her right then and there? Then I remembered another thing—the way Liv had looked that night in that pink dress. She’d been smoking hot, and Tim the cameraman had just found out that she and I were no longer together. Of course he’d taken the opportunity to hit on her.
I jumped to my feet and clenched my teeth together, my hands going into fists at my sides. “What the hell is wrong with her? How could she go out with someone she doesn’t even know? What if he’s some psychopath? What if he tries to hurt her?”
Violet also stood, her hands on her hips as her happiness dissipated. “Are you kidding me? This could be our ticket out of this whole mess, Darin. She could latch onto this guy. He could be the one taking care of her. Maybe she could move in with him.”
This suggestion of hers was ludicrous. The jealousy writhed within me like a fire. I was finding it difficult to control this sudden rage in front of Violet. I felt as if I wanted to go right through that front door and go looking for her so I could drag her back home again. I loathed this Tim guy with every fiber I had, and if he were standing in front of me right now, I’d break both of his legs so not only could he not walk, he wouldn’t be able to drive Liv anywhere either.
“Darin Thorne, are you jealous?”
Hell yes, I am. “No, I’m not jealous, Vi, it’s the fact that she’s not being responsible. This guy could be a creep. I didn’t like him when he was here.”
“You are jealous.” Violet’s chest heaved up and down as anger filled her. “I can’t believe this.”
“Are you listening to what I’m saying?” I screamed at her. “I’m going to call her…”
“You’re going to leave her alone!” Violet shrieked. “She’s a single woman who met a cute guy and went out on a date! Nothing irresponsible about that! You’re acting like a lunatic! Just look at you, Darin! Your face is bright red! You look like you’re going to explode!”
I felt like I could explode too. I grasped my cell phone in my pocket. I had bought Livvy her own phone, wanting her to take it with her whenever she left the house, such as physical therapy appointments, things like that—not dates. I wanted her to feel secure whenever she left so that if she needed anything, she could call me. I should’ve never gotten her the damn thing, then she couldn’t be calling other guys.
I was on the verge of losing my mind. I knew I shouldn’t be acting like this in front of Violet, but this entire thing had caught me off guard. Never had I expected to have to deal with the thought of Livvy with another guy, not this early at least. I’d just gotten her back. I wanted to punch something.
“I can’t believe this!” Violet walked over to the magazines sprawled out everywhere and with one thrash of her arm, all of them were in shambles on the floor. “You have feelings for her!”
“What?” I cried out. I tried to take a deep breath to calm myself, but all I could think about was how badly I needed to go find Livvy and tear her away from that … cameraman. “I’m a lunatic? You’re delusional!”
“Really, Darin?” She flashed me a look that could kill. “You’re going to call me delusional? I thought you’d be happy about this. I know I sure was. Livvy is finally moving on.”
“Finally? It’s been weeks since she’s been out of th
e hospital…”
“It feels like a freaking eternity to me.”
I growled in frustration. Fighting with her along with fighting my urge to dash to my car was pure agony. She was definitely right about my jealousy, about my acting like a mad man, but I wasn’t about to admit it. Not now. Not ever.
“Does the man need a background check in order to go out with her?” Violet continued, thrashing her arms wildly in the air as if she needed to punch something too, that something being me.
I closed my eyes to try to calm this fierce burning. “What if he’s a rapist or something?”
“A rapist, Darin? Really?” Then she took a step toward me and looked me straight in the eye. “I hope she does go to bed with him, though,” she said quietly, barely above a whisper. “She needs to get some. It’s been way too long since the last time she’s been with a man.”
Logically I knew Violet was trying to just get me riled up even more, but the logic part of me was thrown out the door at this moment. She’d put a mental picture in my mind of that ugly bastard touching my Livvy…I bit my bottom lip and tasted blood. This was sending me straight over the edge. I had to get out of here, or I wouldn’t be able to contain myself much longer.
“This conversation is over, Vi. We both know who the jealous one really is here, don’t we?” I saw her mouth gape open at that, knowing I’d hit her where it hurt, dug the knife in a little deeper, but I didn’t care right now. “I need some air.”
“Where are you going?” Violet shrieked, her face flushed red in fury.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t know myself. For a walk, for a drive, maybe straight over a cliff right now sounded nice. I slammed the door shut behind me.
FOURTEEN
Livvy
I looked up into Tim’s eyes. They were light in color, almost a pale blue to the point that they were gray. There were laugh lines around them. I’d had a nice lunch with him. He took me to a local sandwich place where we sat in the corner and chatted about what a medical mystery I was. He’d asked a little about my life before the car accident. I’d told him about my family, growing up, and I know I’d mentioned Darin one too many times. I hadn’t wanted to bring him up in conversation. The point of this date was to get Darin out of my head. It made me angry that he was forcing his way into this when he wasn’t even here.