by A. D. Ellis
He loved Zoey. Period.
He liked looking at other girls, girls his age. He really liked kissing them.
But, when it all came right down to it, if made to choose, he’d pick Zoey hands-down every single time. He knew things were weird with their age difference, but he felt strongly in his heart that he’d wait and fight for his girl for as long as it took.
Coming up to the girls’ side of camp, he smiled as he crept to her cabin. He’d snuck a piece of chocolate cake from the birthday party they’d been having for one of the senior counselors. Wrapped in wax paper, packed with a fork and an icy milk courtesy of the cafeteria, the cake was cradled in Zach’s arms like precious cargo.
At the shadowy edge of her cabin, Zach crouched under her window. He knew she slept next to the window, but he wasn’t sure if she was already in bed. They had about forty-five minutes before lights out. Popping his head up slowly, he peeked in the brightly glowing window, holding his breath in fear of getting caught.
He smiled when he saw her sitting on her bottom bunk. Tapping on the window lightly, he put a finger to his lips to encourage her to be quiet. With a slight nod of his head, he gestured toward the door, indicating she should join him outside.
A few moments later, he heard leaves rustling. They met up in the small grove of trees on the dark side of her cabin.
“You came! I didn’t think you would.” The surprise and joy was evident in her voice.
“Hey, pretty girl, I will always, always come for you. I just had a couple things to get done before I could sneak over.” He produced the cake dramatically.
“Yummy! I didn’t really like dinner tonight, so that cake looks delicious.” She grabbed the fork and stabbed a large bite of the cake.
“Did you get some already?” She asked around her mouthful of chocolatey goodness.
“I had a small piece over on the boys’ side. I sort of thought you’d share with me.” The joking laughter in his voice couldn’t be hidden.
Smiling up at him, she swallowed the cake. “Oh, sorry. Sure, you can have a couple small bites of mine.”
She held a tiny bite of cake out in front of him, teasing as she swirled it around in front of his mouth.
He grabbed her wrist, holding the meandering cake still and captured the bite. They played airplane back and forth until the cake was gone, then shared the cold milk.
Gathering the evidence of their late-night snack, Zach threw it all away in the nearby trashcan.
“So, were you kissing Courtney?”
The question was blunt and took him off-guard.
“Why do you ask?”
Hoping to buy some time, he swirled possible answers through his mind.
“Well, I heard the counselors talking, and Courtney said, ‘I kissed Zach,’ so I figured she was talking about you. But then I thought about how you and the guys say kissing makes you want to puke, so I couldn’t decide if it was you or not.”
He leaned himself back against a tree and gathered her to him.
“Kissing is sort of weird, Zoey. I’ve tried it, and it’s not as gross as I once thought it might be. But, I don’t know that I’m ready to go around kissing everything with lips.” He chuckled and ran a hand absently through her hair when she laughed at his answer.
“Well, kissing is gross and I will never kiss a boy or ask him to kiss me. Yuck.”
As he stood to head back to his side of the camp, Zach fought the rival feelings of being relieved Zoey wasn’t planning on kissing any boys, and feeling frustrated about the fact that one day he wanted her to want to kiss him.
**********
“Can you move that rock over there?” Zoey pointed toward the edge of the newly dug garden plot.
Zach wiped the sweat from his eyes as he bent to heft the rock. After moving it at least seven other times, he was convinced it should have been referred to as a boulder, but he adjusted his grip and heaved the rock to its next new location.
At 15, he was sure there was something he could be doing which would be better than designing, digging, planting, and decorating a garden over the weekend. But then he looked at her face. Her bright eyes, her rosy cheeks, the determined look of contemplation, all of those things caused his heart to swell, and he knew there was nowhere he’d rather spend his weekend than in the garden they built together.
**********
“Nah, man, my stomach can’t handle another round on that thing.” Zach’s past rollercoaster riding partner in crime, Kendrick, looked a little green around the gills.
“Come on! The line is short, later today it will be longer. Someone needs to ride with me so I don’t have to stand in line by myself like a loser.” Zach looked around at his cousins.
Kendrick was obviously going to need a breather before he got back in line. Decker shook his head and gestured toward his twin, Sawyer.
“Sorry, I promised Sawyer we’d go watch the Chinese acrobats. They are only here today and only have one performance left.”
Looking at his nearby surroundings at the theme park they visited each summer, Zach scanned the crowd in hopes someone in his family was in the vicinity and willing to ride.
When his eyes landed on Zoey, he had a sudden inspiration. Last year she’d still been a fraction of an inch too short for the big rollercoasters. But he was sure she had grown enough since then. He just needed to convince her it wasn’t as bad as Kendrick was letting on.
Riding his adrenaline high from the last go-round on the monstrous coaster, Zach snuck up behind Zoey and Aly while they were trying on sunglasses at one of the numerous souvenir stores.
“Gotcha!”
He laughed when she squealed. His heart grew warm to feel her relax in his arms as soon as she realized it was him.
“Zach! You scared me to death! Put me down!” She giggled in her sweet 11 year old way, and punched him in the arm.
“Ouch, watch it, Zo! You could hurt a guy.” He ruffled her hair. “On second thought, keep practicing that right hook and your uppercut; you’ll need to put the boys in their place this coming year at school.”
He knew it was crazy, but he wasn’t looking forward to her starting sixth grade. She had always been pretty, but she seemed to be doing what grownups referred to as coming into herself, and Zach didn’t want to even think about the middle school punks who would be flirting with her.
“So, pretty girl, did you realize that you’re finally tall enough to ride the big roller coasters with me?” He asked while wagging his eyebrows.
“Ugh, don’t remind me! I really don’t think those coasters are for me, Zach. I like the tamer ones that I’ve been riding for a few years. I’m not the same thrill-seeker as you and Kendrick are.” She wrinkled her nose, and stared up at the towering coaster in question.
“Please, Zoey Belle?” He knew he was pleading, but he wanted to ride again, and he had a feeling if he ever got her on a big coaster he’d have trouble ever getting her off. He just had a hunch that she would be as much of an adrenaline junky as himself.
“Fine!” She placed the sunglasses back on the rack and rolled her eyes at Aly.
“I’ll ride the darn roller coaster with you one time! But that’s it! After that, you’ll have to find some other poor sucker to ride with you.”
She grabbed him by the arm and began marching him toward the line.
Looking dramatically over her shoulder she shouted to Aly, “If I die on this ride, you can have all my clothes and shoes!”
They both laughed at Aly when she pumped her fist and yelled, “Yes!”
The wait for their turn passed quickly because they joked and talked the whole time. It amazed him how his sister at age 11 was annoying, obnoxious, and a general pain, but Zoey at the same age was a breath of fresh air, someone he didn’t mind standing in line with, a genuinely fun person to be around.
As they climbed into their seats and pulled the heavy harness contraptions over their heads and shoulders, he could feel Zoey’s trepidation.
“Hey, pretty girl, no worries. I’m right here.” He reached over and held her hand.
Her face brightened with relief. Squeezing his hand she smiled over at him, “Thanks, Zach. I’m glad my first time is with you.”
Two minutes thirty seconds later they pulled back into the loading dock, and Zach knew he had her hooked. Climbing from the car, he barely kept himself upright when she threw herself at him and begged to ride again.
“I don’t know, Zo. I promised I’d let you ride one time and then find some other poor sucker to ride with me. I better go see if Kendrick is ready.” He tried to hide a smile as he spoke.
“No! I mean, he looked pretty sick. I’ll ride with you since he’s not feeling well.” Her attempt to stop herself from blushing was futile.
“There’s no one I’d rather be scared out of my mind with than you.” She squeezed his hand as they waited in line for the next big thrill ride of that summer.
“I’ll always be with you, through good time, bad times, and scary times.” He ruffled her hair and pulled her into a hug.
At age 16 he meant every word he said, and she believed him wholeheartedly.
**********
“Mom! Will you please tell Zach that he HAS to drive us to the mall?” Aly’s exasperated plea was like finger nails on a chalkboard.
“No, Aly, I will not tell Zach he HAS to drive you and Zoey to the mall.” Carly Morgan smoothed her daughter’s hair and smiled softly.
Turning to her son she continued, “But, I will tell him that his dad and I both have to be at work today so we can’t take you girls to get the items you need for tonight’s dance. And I’ll tell him that lunch and gas money will be provided should he decide to be a great guy and taxi you girls around for a couple hours.”
Zach groaned.
“No fair, Mom.”
He laughed good-naturedly and spoke to Aly.
“Fine, tell Zoey we’ll be there in ten minutes. But I get to choose where we eat lunch. And we’re only there for the items you need, this isn’t going to be an all day excursion.”
He shook his head and rolled his eyes as his sister whooped on her way to call Zoey.
“Thank you, Zach. The mall is just too far away for them to get there themselves, not that I’d feel all that comfortable with that anyway, and your dad and I both need to be at The Center today.” She patted his cheek and handed him money for gas and food.
“You really are a great big brother and cousin.”
Three hours later he was feeling anything but great. He had survived lunch. He had survived sitting in front of stores while the girls shopped. He’d even survived holding their many shopping bags from time to time.
The part that was about to kill him was the recap of purchases complete with a show-and-tell of each item.
Bras and thongs. They were 12 for God’s sake. Did they really need bras and thongs for the fall dance at school?
“Yes, dear brother, we do need these things for the dance. Every girl loves a pretty new bra, and most girls wear thong underwear all the time. Besides, even if we didn’t mostly wear thongs, our dresses both require them so we don’t have panty lines.” Aly rolled her eyes and shook her head, exasperated at Zach’s questioning of their purchases.
“For the love of all that’s holy, you two better be making sure those bras and thongs stay nice and hidden under your dresses so no punk-ass middle school kid has to get a foot up his ass.”
The girls just giggled and continued to look through their undergarment, shoe, and jewelry purchases.
From his spot in the driver’s seat, Zach fumed and wondered if his parents and Zoey’s knew what their girls were wearing under their clothing.
**********
“He’s not coming.” Zoey’s dejected voice hitched as she attempted to swallow her tears.
“What do you mean he’s not coming? Is he just meeting us there?” Aly questioned as she held the arm of her date to the evening’s dance at school.
“No, I mean he’s not coming. At all.” Tears flooded her eyes.
Zach gathered her in his arms and let her cry against his chest.
“Aly, Justin’s mom is waiting to drive you. You two go ahead to the dance. Zoey will be there in a bit.” Zach shooed his sister and her date out the door.
“Zoey Belle, stop crying, that little asshole isn’t worth your tears.” His thumbs swiped gently at the tears running down her cheeks.
“I know he’s not worth it, I was just looking forward to dancing and having fun. I honestly barely even liked him. I just wanted a date and I wanted to get dressed up for tonight. Now I have no date, no dancing, and no reason to be dressed up.”
She buried her head in his chest, “Can you just take me home, please?”
“No can do, pretty girl.” He steered her by her shoulders and walked her toward the bathroom.
“Why, do you have a date tonight?”
“Yes, I have a date. In fact, I need to go change. Fix your face and hair, although I think you look beautiful no matter what. I’ll be ready in just a minute.”
When Zach returned to the front room, Zoey began the trudge to his vehicle.
“Can you at least drop me off first so I don’t feel like a date-crasher?” She wrinkled her nose and tried to laugh.
“We’ll see.” He tried to hide his smirk.
Pulling into the school lot, he realized that most of the cars were either chaperones or parents dropping students off. Very few of the dates to tonight’s dance were old enough to drive.
“Zach, I really don’t want to come here, can you just take me home. Please?” Her eyes sparkling as she took in the busyness of the school and the flair of the dance belied her statement.
“Well, it seems my date wants to come to this school dance, so that’s what I’m going to do.” He jumped from the car, walking to her side and opening the door.
She took his hand and allowed herself to be pulled from the car. Questioning eyes fell on him.
“Let it be said, I have the prettiest date here tonight. Hands down.”
He hugged her close when she wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Thank you, Zach. You’re the best.”
Avoiding the curious stares, Zach spent the evening talking to former teachers, dancing with Zoey and her big group of friends, and smiling when he saw how happy his girl was.
He may have also made sure a little visit was paid to a certain punk-ass kid before the night was over. He knew Kendrick would get the point across to the kid, leave no incriminating evidence, and never say a word. His cousin had changed a lot over the past year or so. Zach couldn’t pinpoint what had happened, but it was hard to watch and even harder still to be clueless about it. But, he knew Kendrick would take care of the little shit who hurt Zoey. Kendrick had changed, but Zach still trusted him with his life.
“Thank you, Zach. Thanks for saving me. Tonight was great.” She smiled at him across the car’s interior. “The only thing missing was my first kiss. Don’t worry, I let you stand in for my absentee date, I won’t make things any more awkward by asking you to kiss me.”
They both laughed. Her innocently, him somewhat awkwardly.
As he drove away, he wondered what a date between them could look like in about five years. Would he ever know?
Chapter 3
“Kiss me, Zach. Please?” Her sparkling green eyes mesmerized him. He glanced at her full, pink mouth and knew he would give in to her request. He needed to tell her no, hold her off. It was wrong. But, the desire he felt for her was too strong. Just one kiss, then they’d have to talk. They needed to go back to just friends. He couldn’t risk hurting her or losing her.
“Please, kiss me. I want you to be my first kiss, I don’t want to share that with anyone else.” She pleaded and gripped his shirt with her tiny fists.
With no more thoughts of right or wrong, he lowered his head. The scent of lemon sunshine overtook his senses and his body lit on fire when his lips touched hers.
He was too old for her, he should be kissing girls his own age. Five years would maybe be no big deal when they were twenty-five and thirty. But five years was a very big deal at the moment.
But her lips took over and he was helpless to stop.
“Zach…” Her voice sounded far away.
He moaned into her mouth.
“Zach…”
Pulling back slightly, he ran a thumb over her swollen bottom lip.
“Zach!”
He jumped as a fist connected with his shoulder.
Opening his eyes and glancing around he realized he had fallen asleep on Zoey’s couch as they watched television.
“Were you dreaming? It looked like you were trying to kiss someone.”
Zoey laughed and tickled him, “Ohhh, Zach wants to kiss a girl. Who is it? Tell me, I promise I won’t tell Aly.” Zoey continued to tease, but Zach had woken in a grumpy funk.
“Knock it off, Zoey Belle. I wasn’t dreaming, and I don’t want to kiss anyone. I need to get home and do my homework. I’ll see you tomorrow. Okay?”
He headed home, glad he had homework to distract him. The guilty thoughts about his feelings toward Zoey danced in his head like tiny fairies, and they were all a-twitter about how messed up in the head he was to be thinking of his younger cousin that way.
Technically, she’s not your cousin.
“Yeah, well, she most definitely is five years younger than me and there’s no way to explain that one away.” Zach shook his head in disgust.
As he walked, he attempted to make sense of his feelings. He was attracted to girls at his high school, girls his own age. He loved their curves, their smiles, the scent of shampoo from their hair. He’d kissed a few of them, and it was nice. But, he never felt the urge to spend time with them outside of school.