by A. D. Ellis
“We love you, pretty girl, we just want to see you get better so you can stop being sad and afraid.” Zach kneaded at her shoulders.
“Fine. I’m not making any promises, but I’ll at least listen to your one request.” Zoey sighed heavily, her desire to refuse their request was evident.
“Just work in your garden. You and Zach had gotten the materials to start your lasagna gardening. Get the beds built, weed what needs weeding, plant what can be planted at this time. That’s all we’re asking. For now.” Kyle made the request, pausing expectantly to see how she’d react.
She sat quietly for a bit, blinking slowly. “I think I’d almost forgotten about my garden. I’ve sort of been in a fog. But, you’re right, it needs work. I can do that.”
Smiling slightly, she turned to Zach. “We’ll start tomorrow.”
**********
As the garden beds began to take shape and fill with life, Zoey’s eyes began to sparkle and fill with life as well. The smiles, genuine laughter, and spunk were fleeting, but Zach’s heart soared to know they were making themselves known at all.
Over the next several days, Zoey had less-than-coincidental visits from certain members of her family. Zach sat at the kitchen table, under the guise of doing his advertising work, and listened as each family member sprinkled advice or dropped little thought nuggets into the conversation.
The Captain was first. “You know, Zoey Belle. When my first wife died, I went down a deep, dark, dangerous spiral of despair. It took me several years to come out of that pit, and I regret the time I lost.” He stood to leave, leaning over to hug her once more. “Don’t let yourself get in such a deep hole that you can’t pull yourself back out.”
Zach let the tears flow freely as he sat at the table secretly listening to his mom, Carly, talk to Zoey the next evening.
“It’s okay to be scared, Zoey. I was scared of my own shadow for several years. Without being too graphic, I was raped and beaten more times than I can count, so I know the fear and heartache you’re feeling. I know it can seem endless. But it’s not, sweet girl. You’ve got the most wonderful, loving, supportive family here for you. And, a certain son of mine loves you very much. You will get through this. If you decide to take the medicine, I’ll tell you that it was very helpful for me during the short time I took it.”
Zach had heard bits and pieces of the nightmare his mom endured before coming to Torey Hope and meeting his dad, but hearing her speak of the fear which haunted her was heartbreaking.
When Audrey came to visit the next night, Zach pretended to load the dishwasher in order to listen in.
“Here, I need you to take this. Hold onto it, read it, memorize it.” Audrey thrust a card at Zoey.
“What is it?” Zoey asked, looking unsurely at the card marked darkly with the word SURVIVOR.
“It’s one of the several cards I hung around my apartment when I was going through therapy to uncover my utterly craptastic past. Yes, I had to admit I’d been a victim, but these cards helped me to remember I was also a survivor. Not just was as survivor, I am a survivor. And so are you, Zoey. I’m not going to lie to you, therapy was hard, but it was a necessary evil to get me through the bad shit so I could start finding the good stuff. I’m not saying you have to see the therapist, but I’ll go with you if you want me to.”
Zach marveled at the love between the two men as he listened to Sawyer and Luke visiting with Zoey. Closing his eyes, he savored the sound of her true laughter over something they’d said. They stayed longer than any of the other visitors had stayed. Zach heard the sleepiness creeping into Zoey’s voice, and was glad the other two men caught it as well.
“Well, Zo, it’s time for us to head out. I’m not into secrets anymore. I lived with my secret for long enough. So I’m just going to say this straight up. I get what you’re dealing with, you know I do. That attack in the park was a living nightmare for me, I still deal with the after effects. Therapy helped a lot. I’m still taking a low dose anxiety medicine, and it really helps to keep the edge off the fear and jumpiness for me. I can’t, we can’t, force you to do these things, but I have to tell you that I think it would be helpful for you to at least talk to someone.” Sawyer hugged her before wrapping his arms around Luke.
Before they left, Luke spoke, “Zoey, the nightmares I had from the abuse I lived through were enough to make me not want to sleep. Exercise, martial arts, yoga, all of those things helped me to center myself, but the really freeing moment was when I told Sawyer about my past. I told him what happened, I told him about my feelings. Don’t shut your family out. I’m not saying everyone needs a detailed description, but Zach is here for you. Share with him.”
The final visit wasn’t made in person, but when the phone rang the next night, Zoey didn’t seem to be surprised it was for her.
“Well, you’ve pretty much run through all the family members who have had similar experiences as me. I wonder who this could be? Someone who just happens to call me and wants to offer their love, support, and thinly veiled advice?” Zoey spoke sarcastically, but Zach’s chest swelled when he saw the genuine smile on her face.
“Hello?” Zoey’s face brightened. “Hey, Kendrick. I miss you, when are you coming home?”
Zach frowned, impatient and bent out of shape when he couldn’t hear the entire conversation. But he knew he’d forever be grateful if Kendrick helped to move Zoey along her path of healing.
“Yeah, I’ll give it a couple months. But if I do this, you’ve got to do your part, no backing out.” Zoey seemed to be dealing with Kendrick. “I get it, you need your time. But, as I’ve recently learned, sometimes we don’t need time as much as we need love and support. You’ll have your time, Kendrick. But, once I’m done, you’ve got to keep your end of the bargain. I’ll hold you to it. Got it?”
Zach wasn’t 100% sure what they’d just agreed to, but he had high hopes it would be beneficial for both Zoey and Kendrick.
Chapter 18
“Zach, this is important. I need to see it, and I need to hear directly from the police about my attacker. I’m working very hard to overcome this, but I need to see and hear these things before I can let them go.” Zoey’s strong confidence was making a comeback.
The attack had been two months ago, and Zoey truly was making strides in her recovery. She had yet to see a therapist, or take any medication, and the nightmares were still happening a couple times a week. But, she was gardening, doing yoga, and teaching a couple classes with Luke at The Center+ each week.
The college had agreed to let her take some time off, obviously feeling unwarranted guilt about the attack happening on their trip.
“Okay, Zoey, I hear what you’re saying. But if you’re going to make demands, I’m going to make a few of my own. If I arrange for you to see Vincent Durgess’ house and talk to Officer Ramsey, you need to talk to me or someone about what happened.” Zach knew he was pushing, but he also knew she could take it.
“Why can’t you just let me get through this myself? I don’t need to talk to anyone. I love you, Zach, but I don’t like you very much right now.” Zoey stood her ground, arms crossed over her chest.
“Well, I’m pretty sure there are going to be a million times in our life when you don’t like me very much, but that’s life, Zoey Belle. Real life isn’t like the movies, remember? In fact, I think a beautiful redhead once told me that real is hard, scary, ugly, and it hurts sometimes. This is one of those times, pretty girl.” Zach stood his ground just as strongly as she did.
“You know I could find a way to talk to the police and find his house without your help. This blackmail scheme could completely backfire in your face.” Squinting her eyes and jutting her chin out, Zoey challenged him.
“You’re right, you could. And, yes, it could. But, I think you want me with you when you work through this part. And it’s not blackmail, it’s love, and caring, and support.” He leaned in and kissed her gently. “Plus, you know I’m just as stubborn as you are, so I�
��m not going to give in on this.”
Gritting her teeth, Zoey rolled her eyes. “Fine, set it up so I can see his house and talk to Officer Ramsey, and then I’ll make the appointment.”
“No way, pretty girl. Make the appointment, attend the first appointment, and then I’ll set it all up.” He worked hard to hold back the grin he was hiding. They’d had their fair share of tiny disagreements over the years, but they’d never really had a fight or reached a stalemate. He didn’t enjoy pushing Zoey’s emotions, but he very much liked the life and fire he saw in her as they argued back and forth.
“Arrghh!” She stomped her foot before turning on her heel and heading inside to set up the appointment. “They better be able to get me in tomorrow! I don’t want to wait to make this next step.”
He chuckled as she stormed up the stairs.
“So, looks like we made the right choice to push her along, huh?” Kyle walked up next to him and smiled as his daughter paced in front of the picture window while making the call to the therapist’s office.
“Luckily, Sawyer talked the therapist he’s been seeing into holding a slot open each day recently, just in case Zoey gave in and decided to call. She should be able to get in tomorrow.” Zach was pleased, and very hopeful, that the therapist would be able to reach Zoey’s inner fears and anxiety to rid her of the nightmares.
“And then you have to take her to see Vincent’s house, and listen to the details about the man. You ready for that?” Kyle looked at him expectantly.
“I don’t want her to see or hear anything pertaining to him, but I can understand her need to provide some closure. I’ll do whatever it takes for that to happen.” He walked away to make the phone call to Officer Ramsey.
**********
“Okay, mission accomplished, let’s go.” Zoey walked quickly from the small office on the east side of town.
“Whoa, Zo. How was the session?” Zach grabbed her hand, steering her to the local deli. “We need to eat before we meet Officer Ramsey.”
“The session was what you’d expect. Me answering questions, telling what happened, talking about how I feel.” She turned from him, and began studying the menu, attempting to ignore his questions.
Lunch was casual and comfortable, but the undercurrent of anxiety and tension was uncomfortable. For Zach at least.
“Zoey, I’m glad you followed through on the appointment. I hope you’ll continue to go to therapy for at least a couple more sessions.” As he talked he watched her face. She didn’t confirm or deny if she would continue with therapy.
“What time do we meet Ramsey?” Zoey finished her sandwich and popped chips in her mouth.
Sighing heavily, Zach let it go for right then.
“We need to be there in about ten minutes, so we should head out.” He held a hand out to her.
“Thank you for doing this for me, Zach.” She leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I just want to move past this, so you and I can go back to our normal lives.”
“Zoey, you know I’ll do absolutely anything and everything I can to help you through this, but I want you to think about the fact that our normal will forever change. Our normal used to be friendship, then our normal was waiting for each other, now our normal is dating and loving and growing together as a couple, but in the future our normal will include learning how to be married, pay our bills, raise children. Normal isn’t static, it ebbs and flows like ocean waves.” Zach ran a hand along her cheek.
“That was really pretty perfect, Zach. I get what you’re saying. I do. But I still need to do this.” Zoey smiled at him. “I’m ready for our normal to move on to happier things.”
They pulled up to a small, nondescript house. Officer Ramsey was waiting on the sidewalk.
“Miss Martin, Mr. Morgan, it’s good to see you. Miss Martin, I want to thank you for the information you were able to give us. Are you sure you want to see this place and hear about Mr. Durgess?” Officer Ramsey held his hat in his hands.
“Yes, Officer. I really need to hear about this man and see where he lived so that I can close this chapter of my life.” Zoey nodded.
“Okay, let’s go.”
They entered the dim, musty home. Officer Ramsey flipped on the lights.
“We’ve done a complete sweep of the whole house. There was nothing really of interest until we reached his spare bedroom. That’s where he kept his notebooks and all things pertaining to you, Ms. Martin.” The officer seemed to hesitate, not sure how much to share with her.
“We’ve not told her anything about the attacker other than his name and the fact that he’s dead. She wants to hear the details, she’s strong enough to hear them, and I’m with her. She or I will let you know if the information is getting to be too much. Go on.” Zach led Zoey to a stool, and took his place behind her, his arms holding her tight.
“So, most of the information we gathered came from our initial search of his home and background check. Vincent Durgess was a substitute teacher in Torey Hope and surrounding towns, he was let go after several students reported him making them feel uncomfortable. We know he subbed at Zoey’s school, so we are assuming that’s when his infatuation with her began. He moved to Torey Hope, but couldn’t pay for his medications. His mental illness got out of control. We’ve combed through his notebooks. He wrote of his plans to take you away from Zach, take you to see the world, marry you, and make you happy. He wrote of following you guys when you went on a weekend trip, he’s obviously been in The Center+ at least a couple times because he refers to seeing you in the studio after class. He was extremely excited when he was able to leave you flowers before Zach got you anything. He wrote of how it showed he’d be a better boyfriend.” Ramsey stopped to gauge Zoey’s reactions.
“So how did he know I was going to California?” Zoey shuddered.
“We don’t think he knew. He wrote in his journal while he was on the plane. He wrote about following you two to the airport, and how he was ready to put his plan into action to end Zach, but when he realized you were getting on the plane, he hurriedly bought a ticket at the last minute in hopes of getting you alone in San Diego. He had a few credit cards, he used the one he hadn’t maxed out yet.”
“Oh my God, he was the late passenger we waited on before takeoff.” She held a shaky hand to her mouth.
“He tried getting a room at the hotel where you were staying, but they were filled because of the symposium. So he basically just hid out in the stairwell and alley the best he could, waiting for glimpses of you. He had written in his journal the morning of the attack that he was going to hide in the stairwell until he saw you so he could talk to you, he was planning to ask you to dinner.” Ramsey patted Zoey’s hand. “Ms. Martin, you have to remember that Mr. Durgess was a very sick man. None of what he did or planned was rational. From his writings, we believe he thought he could get you to fall in love with him, then he was going to kill Zach and be there to comfort you.”
“He wrote about killing Zach?” Tears sprang to her eyes.
“He wrote of it often, but never with much detail. He had the desire, but no real plan from what we can gather.” The officer shook his head as he spoke. “In a sane, rational state, we don’t have any reason to believe Mr. Durgess would have followed through on his idea to kill Zach. But, with his altered mental state, we feel that he was likely capable of carrying out a murder.”
Closing her eyes, Zoey leaned heavily into Zach.
He held her, waiting to see if she would speak. When she didn’t, he prompted her.
“Do you want to see the room he kept his collection of things pertaining to you, or is hearing the story enough?”
“Part of me doesn’t want to see it, but I feel like I’ve got such a terrible image of it in my head, I’m likely imagining it worse than what it is. I think I need to see it.” Zoey stood and waited for Officer Ramsey to lead the way to the closed door.
When the door swung open, Zoey stood still as a statue just staring into the room.
/> With tentative steps, she entered the room. Wordlessly, she reached behind her to grabbed Zach’s hand.
Stopping midway into the room, a choked giggle erupted from her.
“I think I’ve watched too many cop mystery shows. I was expecting candles, decapitated dolls, dripping blood…this is just a room.”
“Most of his ‘collection’ is in the form of boxes and scrapbooks. He seemed to suffer from some severe OCD tendencies, he kept everything meticulously neat.” Ramsey led them to the desk, and opened one of the scrapbooks.
Her gasp caught both men by surprise.
“Oh! I know him, I mean, I recognize him. He was a sub in a couple of my classes. Oh my God, this is all so surreal.” Zoey slowly skimmed through the scrapbook.
“Zach, I need you to take me one more place.” Zoey quickly closed the book. “Officer Ramsey, thank you very much for sharing your information with me, and for showing me the house. I really appreciate it.”
“Glad to help, Ms. Martin. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.”
**********
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Zach picked his jaw up from the floor.
“Yeah, I am. I know it’s weird, but I have this overwhelming need to do it. But, swing me by that little grocery on the way.” Zoey seemed sad, but determined to finish the mission she’d set out on.
Thirty minutes later, Zach pulled the truck up to a gate. Killing the engine, he turned to her. “Can I at least come with you? I won’t hover, but I’ll feel better knowing I’m there in case you get upset or freaked out.”
“Yes, please. I need to do this, but I need to have you with me. Just please don’t laugh at me or judge what I need to say.” She leaned over to kiss his cheek.
“Pretty girl, I would never laugh at you or judge you. You are an amazing, strong, confident woman. Whatever you need to do or say is fine by me, as long as you let me stand beside you.”