by Lauren Runow
Charlie wraps his arms around me, “You know we would do anything for you. Both of us,” he smiles to Nichole.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love you… Ok, let’s go take some photos,” Nicole says as she starts to walk to the beach.
Alex has already scoped a spot and is setting up some lights as we approach. “Hey Alex, how can I help?” I ask.
“Hey guys. Glad you could make it. It’s great that you’re willing to help Allison.” He reaches his hand out to Charlie and then Nichole.
“We’re glad to help. What’s the plan? What are we shooting?” Charlie asks Alex.
“I don’t know. You have to ask the lead photographer of the shoot that question. It’s all up to her, I’m just the assistant today.”
I tense up; I didn’t know I would be doing everything today. After a second, a small smile covers my face. This is what I’ve dreamed of for years. Here is my chance to do what I want. The idea makes my heart flutter and my hands tingle with excitement.
“Ok, I saw a volleyball net set up just a ways down. Let’s head down to get some shots of Charlie playing. Then we can get Nichole lying on a towel, sunbathing. Then, oh yeah, we can get Nichole in the water, maybe about knee high with the water splashing around her.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Alex claps his hands together. “Here, Charlie, help me move these lights.”
We walk to the Volleyball net and start to set up the lights. I look at Charlie, “Hey baby,” I say as sweet as possible. “I want you all tattered and sweaty…” I raise my eyebrows as I slap his ass. “Now go run.”
He laughs, holds his hand up to his forehead in a salute and says, “Yes ma’am,” as he winks and heads off to run down the beach.
Charlie is gone for about fifteen minutes and when he returns the shot is all set up. He’s breathing heavy and he removes his shirt. The longer he stands there the more his body covers in a deliciously sexy sweat and it’s exactly the look I want.
I look at him, reaching out and touching his chest, “Oh yeah, perfect baby.” I smile, lifting up to kiss his lips.
Charlie grabs me, pulling me into him, rubbing his sweaty body all over me. I laugh, fighting him off, “No, I need you sweaty. Don’t rub it off on me.”
He whispers in my ear, “But I like to rub it out on you.” He raises his eyebrows as he lets me go.
I hit his chest, “Get to work. Go look gorgeous over there for me.”
We set up the shot and take photos of him spiking the ball, reaching out long, displaying the sweat dripping down his chest and his board shorts that hang just a little too low.
“Wow, all we need is some dog tags and we’d have our very own Maverick,” Nichole yells out making everyone laugh.
I nod my head up and down, “I know. The exact look I was going for.” I smile looking back into the camera to take another shot.
Next we get Nichole lying on the beach, looking sexy as ever, of course. She wears a black string bikini with her hair lying long covering her shoulders. I set her in multiple poses, standing up, lying down, all very sexy.
“Ok, let’s get you in the water,” I guide Nichole on the next shot.
She enters the water to knee height as I click photos of the water crashing in behind her.
“Nichole, dunk your head so your hair is wet and slicked back. Go slow so I can get you coming out of the water, too.”
Nichole does as she’s told and I smile, happy with what I’m seeing.
Alex walks up behind me, “You should get the two of them together, in the water.”
I turn swiftly to Alex with a blank look on my face, kind of surprised he suggested it.
“Hey, I get it. Remember, I started off shooting my wife. I had to see her with all kinds of guys but it’s just the business. And if you don’t think you can trust him at least you know you can trust her. She’s your sister,” he laughs.
I fake a weak smile. Ugh. I know I can trust both of them but really? Photos of them together? I know, sex sells but God, my boyfriend and my sister…
I shake my head trying to act professional. “You’re probably right.” I turn to Charlie. “Would you mind getting in the water with Nichole?”
Charlie looks at me, “Really?”
“Yeah, it will be fine. I’ll direct you as to what I want you to do.”
Charlie timidly walks to the water shrugging his shoulders to Nichole. Nichole laughs, “Come here sexy.”
“Ok Nichole…” I yell out as a warning.
“Oh, get over yourself.” She looks at Charlie, “Don’t get me wrong, you’re sexy and you know it but I like my bad boy.”
Charlie laughs, “Hey, Paul’s got nothing on me.”
“Ok you guys. Charlie, I need you wet, too. Then put your arms around Nichole’s waist.”
Charlie dunks under the water then pulls Nichole into him. They both laugh in an awkward moment. He lifts his eyebrows to Nichole making her laugh even more.
“Ok, this is supposed to be sexy, not funny,” I yell out.
Nichole calms her face and looks up to Charlie. “It’s ok if I just envision you as Paul right?”
“I’m not sure about that. Don’t molest me like you do him,” he laughs.
She grabs his ass, jokingly, “Come on.”
“Nichole…” I yell out.
They both turn to me and laugh. “Ok, ok, let’s be serious.” Charlie wraps his hands around her waist and pulls her in closer, looking into her eyes.
Nichole tries to hold back her laughter, trying to be professional.
“That’s good, just a little closer,” I guide them. “Good. Now Charlie, take your pointer finger and rub it down her jaw line, looking into her eyes.”
He does and I look through the viewfinder loving the photo I’m creating but hating seeing the two people together that are creating it. I take a deep breath, pushing my feelings to the side.
Alex places his hand on my shoulder, knowing I need the mental support to get through this. I look at him in an un-said thank you.
“Good. Now Charlie, rub your thumb along her bottom lip. Yes, just like that. Nichole, look up at him more. Look into his eyes.”
“What the FUCK?” Paul appears on the beach behind us and he’s raging mad.
Nichole and Charlie instantly let go of each other looking at Paul.
I turn around, “Paul. I’m sorry. It’s just photos. Believe me, I don’t like seeing it either but they’re great photos. I’m just trying to build my portfolio.”
“Just photos my ass. He had his hands all over her!”
Charlie starts to walk out of the water toward Paul. “Hey man, I promise. Nothing was going on.”
“Bro, you stay there. Don’t come toward me.” Paul closes his eyes, breathing for a second, trying to calm down, then throws his hands up, “I’m out of here.”
“Paul, no, wait!” Nichole yells after him.
He’s a good distance away and is walking faster than Nichole. He hops on his bike before Nichole can reach him and speeds away. Nichole turns back to the group wrapping her arms around her body as she starts to shake.
Charlie and I walk toward her. “Nichole, I’m so sorry,” I say reaching out to her.
“It’s ok. I mean, he has to get used to seeing me like this. This is my profession and I’m not giving it up for him. Screw him anyway. This is why I don’t date. He just walked away from me. We’re done.”
I know she’s just trying to put on a front but I don’t want to call her out on it. Not now. “Ok, I think we got enough for today. Let’s call it a wrap. Thank you again for doing this for me.”
“No prob, sis.” She looks at Charlie. “Damn man, your eyes are something else. You’re lucky you’re with my sister.” She tries to lighten the mood with her give-a-shit attitude.
Charlie laughs, wrapping his arms around me from behind. “Yup, I’m all hers.”
Once we get home I head straight up to Paul’s place but he’s not there. I pull out my phone to text him:
H
ey bro. Please don’t be mad. It was only a photo shoot. I swear.
Fuck man. I know. I just have other shit on my mind and I lost my cool.
It’s all good. Where are you? I’m at your place.
I’m at the bar. Come down for a drink.
Cool. Be right there.
I walk into the bar around the corner from our house to see Paul sitting alone at the bar with a half empty bottle of beer in front of him. I don’t say anything to him as I sit down, ordering a beer from the bartender. Paul looks up at me, sighing before looking back down.
“You ok man? What’s up?”
He sighs again. “Yeah. I’m ok. Lost my cool though. Fuck, what is this girl doing to me?”
I laugh, “I hear you bro. Look at us, sitting here, both of us with girlfriends, sisters at that.”
Paul smirks, “No shit.” He looks down and plays with the label of his beer bottle as he confesses. “I’m not sure what happened. I have a lot of other things on my mind,” he pauses. “But I know you love Allison. I know it was just a photo shoot but yet I saw you, with your thumb on her bottom lip and I just lost it. I only left cause I felt stupid for losing my cool. I’ve never had that reaction before.” He looks up at me, “This really blows.”
I laugh again, hitting his back, “Now you get it. You have it bad, too.”
Paul looks up at me smirking while shaking his head in disbelief. “Yeah, now she’s pissed though. She’s sent me a few text messages bitching, saying modeling is her profession and she won’t give it up like you gave up your gig for Allison and I would never ask her to do that. How do I admit that I was jealous without sounding like a pussy?”
“My best advice, if you really want her… Lay it all out there. Believe me. Secrets get you nowhere. Obviously you want to be with her. Tell her you’re sorry, you fucked up, it won’t happen again,” I smirk. “It will be ok. I was there. I think she was just as worried about losing you as you were her. She just tries to hide it more. She’s into your bad-boy ways, even told me so before you showed up acting all bad ass.”
Paul laughs, “Jeez, thanks.”
I power off my phone right before I knock on Nichole’s door. My stomach turns with nerves, still not sure how much I’m going to tell her. She answers the door, surprised to see me standing there.
“Why are you even here?” Nichole snaps at me. “I told you. I’m a model. I will have many more photo shoots like that. This is why I don’t date. Just leave.”
I stop her from slamming the door. “No, Nichole. I won’t let you do that. Look, I know I fucked up. I’m sorry. I’ve never done this either. I’ll admit it. I got jealous. I got so fucking jealous. I lost my mind. It’s not a feeling I’m used to and I didn’t handle it right.”
I reach out to grab her hand as I look down. She doesn’t pull away from me so I look up to meet her eyes, “I’m sorry. I like you, maybe a little too much for my own good. Do you forgive me?”
Nichole snatches her hand away from me. “Why are you even doing this? I know there’s someone else. Don’t think I didn’t notice how you turn your phone off when you’re around me. Show me. Is it even on right now? What happen to ‘I only fuck one person at a time’ huh Paul?”
Fuck.
My eyes go big as I search for words but come up with nothing.
Nichole goes on, “I saw it Paul. When I programmed my number in your phone. You had missed calls from someone named Beth. I blew it off but the more I paid attention the more I saw you always turning off your phone. Why? Is that so I wouldn’t know who else you’re messing around with? Well, I know. And your silence proves it. So just leave.”
She turns on her heel to leave me standing outside but I grab for her, quickly swinging her around pulling her into me. “It’s not what you think. I promise.”
“Whatever Paul. I told you, you were just a good fuck and now it’s over. Just leave.”
“No Nichole, wait.” I pull out my phone from my back pocket and power it on. “I’m telling you. It’s not what you think. Beth is definitely not someone I sleep with or even want to have any kind of relationship with. It’s someone I don’t even want in my life but unfortunately sometimes you don’t get to decide who is in or out of your life.”
I show her my phone that displays 105 unread text messages and 30 voicemails. “See, I have not listened to or read any of her messages. I’m telling you, I don’t want anything to do with her.”
She doesn’t say a word, just stares at my phone and back to me. My eyes start to sag, ashamed of what’s going on.
She whispers, “Then who is she? Why don’t you just block her phone number? Or at least delete the messages?”
I release her from my arms and turn around, running my fingers through my hair, whispering, “She’s my mother.”
“Your mother?”
“Yeah. My mother. The woman who gave birth to me. The woman I want nothing to do with. Who I have tried so hard to rid from my life and make something of myself just to get away from her and everything she represents.” I still have my back to her, afraid to face her. “I don’t want to listen to what she has to say but I can’t bring myself to delete the messages.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Fuck,” I throw my fists around in a swooping motion in front of me. “Why did she have to come back now?” I whisper more to myself than Nichole.
She walks up behind me, placing her hands on my back. “What is it? Why don’t you want her in your life?”
I take a deep breath and finally look at her. “Nichole, I didn’t have the best upbringing. I was serious when I told you I have worked hard for everything I have. My mom has no idea who my father is. She’s a crack addict whore who has been in and out of my life for years. I would get taken away from her for various reasons and live in foster care. Then she would clean up and get me back only for the entire process to start over about a year later. She couldn’t stay clean and would do anything for a fix when she needed it. Including selling herself and bringing tricks back to our house with me there.”
I pause to gauge her reaction before continuing. “If I didn’t have the Boys and Girls Club to help me I don’t know what I would have done. Vince, the director there, saw the potential in me and helped me with my schoolwork. He introduced me to architecture when he saw me drawing buildings on my notepad. He said I could make it a career and he helped guide me through college scholarship applications. Shit, he even fed me when my mom spent every dime she had on getting high. My goal in life was to be anything but her. I got into Cal Poly on a full scholarship and have worked my ass off to be the best I could possibly be. Without her.”
Nichole’s eyes fill with tears as she listens to everything I’ve gone through.
“I haven’t heard from her in years. When I first got established and started making good money she found me. I wanted so bad to just rid her from my life but I couldn’t. No matter what, she’s still my mother. But I wanted to keep her out of my life. So I set her up with an account and said I would pay for her living expenses if she would just leave me alone. Every month $4,000 is transferred from my account to hers to automatically pay her housing, utilities and an account at a local grocery store. That way I don’t have to see or do anything. Deep down I can’t live with myself knowing she’s not taken care of. Even though I want nothing to do with her, I at least know she has a place to live and food on the table.”
“So why is she calling you now?”
“I don’t know. I can’t bring myself to listen to the voicemails. The text messages I have seen just say she needs to talk to me but doesn’t say why.” I slump my shoulders down in defeat letting out a long sigh.
Nichole walks up to me, so close she’s pressing her body against mine. “I’m sorry Paul.” She places her hand on my face. “I’m sorry you have to deal with this and I’m sorry I thought you were seeing someone else. Thank you for telling me. Is there anything I can help with?”
I look into her eyes, “Can we
just drop it? I really don’t want to drag her into my life. My life with you. Do you forgive me for acting like a total ass today?”
Nichole sighs, looking down before replying, “I’m not giving up modeling. This is what I do. You need to be ok with that.”
I pull her in closer. “I am ok with that. I love that my phone says ‘I’m fucking a model.’ I would never ask you to change who you are.”
Nichole laughs, “You left that on there? After your client saw it?”
“Hell yeah I did. It’s sexy as hell. And I don’t care who sees it. I’m proud.”
“Ok Paul, but don’t fuck up again.”
I lean in, kissing her lips sweetly, “I won’t, promise.” I look back at her, tilting up one eyebrow, “Can we have makeup sex now?”
Nichole laughs, “And here I thought you were getting all soft on me.”
“I’m always hard for you.” I lean in, kissing her neck before picking her up and running up the stairs.
The morning light peeks through the blinds in Nichole’s room as I’m wrapped around her lying in bed. She reaches up to touch my face making my eyes slowly open and a small grin grows on my lips.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Hmm, it’s ok. Morning.” I lean in to kiss her lips gently.
“Morning. I couldn’t sleep.”
“I’m sorry, were you uncomfortable?”
“No, I was just thinking.”
“About what doll?”
“About you. About your mom.”
My smile disappears, “Please don’t. I didn’t want to tell you. It’s not your problem to worry about.”
“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to have sleepovers,” she teases. “Maybe if I didn’t have you draped all over me while I’m trying to sleep I wouldn’t be thinking about you so much.”
I smirk, “Ok, my bad.” I lean in to kiss her again.
“I think you should listen to the messages.”
I sit up, removing my arm that was wrapped around her. “No, Nichole.” I prop my arms on my knees I pulled up close under the sheets as I run my fingers through my hair. “I told you, don’t worry about it. Let me deal with it.”