by E. L. Todd
“Well, I’m having one very soon if you forgot. My hands will be tied then. I only want you to have kids because it’s easy to get sucked into work. And this day in age, a woman has to work twice as hard to prove herself professionally. Just remember you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.”
I smiled at his words. “I know, Dad.”
“And Arsen seems pretty anxious to have another one.”
“Because he’s old,” I teased. “He’s like five years older than me. He acts like he’s going to hit the dirt any day.”
He chuckled. “Yeah. He is pretty far over the hill.”
The door opened and someone walked inside. “You better not be talking about me.” Arsen walked in wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He had an oil stain on the front because he probably worked on one of the cars. Even though the stain was noticeable he still looked rugged and handsome. His five o’ clock shadow was coming in and the light from the windows reflected in his eyes.
“Nope,” Dad said. “We never talk about you…”
Arsen greeted my dad first by patting him on the back. Then he came to my side of the table and gave me a quick peck, trying to steer clear of the clay that caked my face. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you look when you’re at work?”
I elbowed him in the stomach. “Shut up.”
He chuckled then took the seat beside me. “What were you guys talking about?”
I gave my dad a firm look. “Nothing.”
Dad took the hint and kept his mouth shut.
“Some secret father-daughter stuff?” Arsen asked.
“Yes,” I said. “How’s work?”
“Pretty boring. One of the guys called in sick so I had to work on the cars. Hence, the dirty shirt.”
“I’m glad you’re finally doing something around the shop.” I liked to tease him about sitting in an office all day. He wasn’t the desk job type of person. He was definitely a businessman, but not the kind that sat around all day.
“You’re ornery today.” He put his arm around my waist and gave my hip a gentle squeeze.
“Not ornery.” I set the half completed sculptured aside. With both of them visiting me I wouldn’t get anything done. May as well let the wet clay set and start over after they were gone. “Just spiteful.”
Arsen chuckled. “That’s true. My wife is very spiteful.”
When he used that endearment my body automatically melted. I loved being more than boyfriend and girlfriend. I loved being something profound, something binding.
“So, what were you talking about?” he pressed.
My high immediately deflated. “Nothing.”
“Oh, come on,” Arsen argued. “He’s my dad too. I’ll just ask him later.”
“But he won’t tell you.” I pushed his arm off me.
“Since when did we start keeping secrets from each other?” he pressed.
“Since you became nosey.”
Dad left the table and pushed the chair in. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.”
“No, Dad.” Arsen chased him away with his excessive questions. “Let’s get lunch. I’m starving.”
“Am I included in that invitation?” Arsen asked.
“No,” I answered. “But you’re probably going to come anyway.”
He helped me off the chair and wrapped his arm around me. “And you’d be right.”
***
After work I picked up Abby from school and made her a snack. She liked the chicken nuggets that looked like dinosaurs, so I threw those in the oven and cooked them until they were crisp. She liked to drunk them into BBQ sauce and mustard. I never understood the mustard part, but then again, she was Arsen’s child. He was a little weird himself.
Arsen came home an hour after I did. He usually had to close the shop and count the register after everyone else had left. He kicked his shoes off and left them by the door before he walked into the house. “I’m home.”
“Daddy!” Abby had mustard smeared all over her face as she sat at the table.
Arsen walked into the kitchen, and his eyes crinkled in fondness once he looked at his daughter. “What’s my sweetheart up to?”
“Nuggets!” She held up one covered in mustard.
Arsen cringed. “Why do you eat those with mustard?”
Abby shrugged and kept eating.
Arsen walked around the table and kissed her on the head. Her messy black hair was pulled in a loose ponytail but it was about to come loose after her long day at school. “Did you learn a lot at school?”
“I learned about the Origami Trail,” she answered.
Arsen raised an eyebrow and looked at me.
I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about so I shrugged.
“The Oregon Trail?” Arsen asked.
“Yeah.” Abby held up a nugget. “Want one?”
“No thanks, sweetheart.” He patted her on the shoulder before he came into the kitchen. “How’s my lovely wife?” He came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
I smiled involuntarily when he called me that. “Good. How’s my handsome husband?”
“Never better.” He gave my neck a gentle peck before he stepped away. “So, are you going to tell me what you and your father were talking about?”
He wouldn’t let that go, would he? “Nothing that concerns you.”
“It must concern me.” He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and twisted off the cap. “Otherwise you would just tell me.” He used to drink a beer every day when he came home from work but now he never touched alcohol. Maybe he didn’t trust himself. Or maybe he didn’t want to worry me where his actions might lead.
“Just don’t worry about it. You don’t tell me everything you talk about with my dad.”
“But if you asked I would answer.” He took a long drink before he set it on the counter.
I changed the conversation before it went any further. “Hope you’re hungry. Dinner will be ready in five minutes.”
Arsen stared at me with that intense gaze I’d become used to. He held the bottle in his hand on the counter but didn’t take another drink. His sparkling eyes were no longer hypnotic but full of irritation. “I’m going to take a quick shower. “
“Okay.”
He left the counter and walked down the hallway, his silence deafening. He said so much without saying anything at all. His discontent was louder than any words. Hopefully he would drop his curiosity.
Or maybe he would never drop it.
***
Arsen came to bed after he read to Abby. He took longer than he usually did, reading to her for an hour before he walked inside.
“Restless tonight?” I sat up in bed reading on my iPad.
“Just wanted the story to continue.” He pulled his shirt over his head and dropped his sweatpants. When he stood in his boxers, the lines of his hard chest came into view. He had the strength of a warrior and the edge of a knife. “She’s like a sponge—soaks everything.”
“She’s smart. That’s a good thing.” I closed the book I was reading and turned off the bedside lamp.
“Well, I don’t want her to be too smart. Then I’ll have to keep reading.” He set his phone on the nightstand then set his alarm.
“I can take up the torch.”
“Nah.” He sat at the edge of the bed with his back turned to me. It looked like it was etched out of marble. Every line was distinct and firm. Instead of being a person he looked like a figurine. “I enjoy it.” He pulled back the covers and got inside. Once he was on his back he fell silent. He stared at the ceiling with his brooding eyes. Unblinking, he stared.
The tension settled once the conversation had ended. Arsen’s annoyance was palpable. It thudded in full force, echoing like the sound of spoken words. He rested one hand behind his head and the other on his stomach. His black wedding tattoo was noticeable even in the dark. Normally, he’d be on my side of the bed by now. But he refused to join me out of stubbornness.
I refu
sed to cave into his silent tantrum so I turned on my side and faced the opposite way. The red light of my alarm clock shined on the nightstand. Even though I made my own hours I still had to get up early and take Abby to school. I closed my eyes and prepared to drift away.
“Maybe I’m making nothing into something, but it bothers me that you have secrets.” His voice sliced through the air like a knife. He kept his words quiet but they fell on my ears with a heavy weight.
“You don’t have secrets?” Everyone had secrets.
“No.”
“There’s nothing you’ve told my father that you haven’t told me?”
“No.” His tone didn’t change but his conviction did.
“What if my father was telling me a secret? Did you think of that?”
“But I know that’s not the case. You confided something to him, but you won’t confide it to me. I’d like to understand why.” The hurt in his voice was evident if I listened hard enough.
“You really are making nothing into something.” I refused to turn over and look at him.
“If it’s nothing, then tell me.”
“So, you’re saying I’m obligated to tell you every little thought that comes into my mind?”
“No. Just the important ones.”
This conversation wasn’t going to die down anytime soon. I gave in and turned over. “Arsen, what’s the problem?”
He kept his eyes on the ceiling. “I told you the problem.”
“I don’t think it’s outrageous for a married couple to have their own independent feelings and thoughts. It’s nothing to be concerned about.”
He took a deep breath as he stared at the ceiling. “When you tell your father things, I know they’re important. And I’m hurt I’m not included in this conversation.”
His works sunk into me like lead. “There’s nothing to be hurt about.”
‘Then just tell me.” He finally turned his head my way, his blue eyes cold and calculating. He wasn’t the man I knew. He wasn’t the man I married.
Since this was the only solution to the problem, I gave in. “I told my dad I wasn’t ready to have kids, and I wasn’t sure when I’d be ready to have kids. With my new career and everything, I don’t think I can handle it. That’s all.”
Arsen didn’t react. His face was just as stoic as it was minutes ago. Heartbeats passed but he didn’t make a move. He didn’t even take a breath. Disappointment didn’t flash in his eyes. In fact, there was nothing there at all.
“I know you’re eager to have another child. Abby is already six and you don’t want them to be too far apart in age, but I’m just not ready. My dad told me I was overthinking it and I could have both.”
Arsen turned his face back to the ceiling.
“And that’s why I didn’t want to tell you.”
He sighed quietly, the noise barely audible. Then he propped himself on his below and faced me, his blue eyes locked onto mine. “I agree with him. I think you’re overthinking it.”
“What a surprise…”
“But I wish you felt comfortable telling me that.”
“If the conversation came up, I would have.”
Now that he had his answer his shoulders became less tense. His jaw wasn’t so stern and his eyes softened. “If you aren’t ready, that’s totally fine. There’s no pressure, Beauty. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be ready. But I hope you aren’t putting it off because of your career. Work is just work. But family is forever.”
“I just want to get a good foundation before I make our family bigger. That’s all.”
Arsen nodded. “I get that. You’ve always been ambitious.”
“I’m a lot like my mother.” I always thought I was like my father but I realized how wrong I was. I was driven and hardworking, always reaching for the stars. Slade was laid back like Dad. In his eyes, whatever happened, happened. But I chose to make my own destiny, and make it as big as possible.
“Just don’t forget, I’ll be here every step of the way. It’s not like you’re doing this alone.”
“But I’ll still be doing the majority of the work—because I’m the mom.”
“Well, I can’t breastfeed. But I can do pretty much everything else. I can take them to work with me. I can give them baths. I can do all those things. Silke, you aren’t alone.” When his eyes flashed with sincerity, I felt the warmth burn in my heart.
“I know, Arsen.”
“There’s no pressure. But think about it.”
“You forget how young I am. I’m only twenty-four.”
“When you’re ready to have a child, you’re ready. Age doesn’t matter.”
I stared at the space between us and suddenly felt far away from one another. There was a desert stretching between us, going on for miles and miles.
Arsen felt it too. It was in his eyes. He made the first move and scooted across the bed until he was right beside me. His arm wrapped around my waist until it was exactly where it belonged. His face was pressed to mine and he looked into my eyes without blinking. “I’m glad you told me.”
“Me too.”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead and allowed his warm lips to linger for a long time. “Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready. But…how about we practice for now?” He rubbed his nose against mine as he tightened his hand on my hip.
My nipples hardened and the rest of my body came to life. My fingertips were on fire and my body ached for his. Instantly, all the annoyance and resentment disappeared. Now all I wanted was him.
Chapter Twenty
Skye
“Dad, is there anything else I can get you?” I placed the glass of ice water on the table and sat beside him.
He was busy staring at Cedric in his lap. He held him with a single arm and couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. Cedric stared back at him, possessing the same Preston blue eyes.
“Dad?”
“Hmm, Pumpkin?” He finally tore his gaze away and looked at me.
“Do you need anything else? I got you some water.”
“Oh. No, I’m fine. Thank you.” He turned back to Cedric.
I continued to watch my father, grateful he was sitting beside me on the couch. He’d been home for over a week now, but I still couldn’t erase how terrified I was. I thought I might not see him again.
I hadn’t been able to sleep. Nightmares always came to me, forcing me to sit up and clutch my chest in fear. Cayson was always beside me, but his strong and powerful body wasn’t enough to make me feel safe. I always went into Cedric’s room and watched him sleep, wanting to make sure no one would ever lay a hand on him.
My life would never be the same.
When those men broke into our house, I wasn’t sure if Cayson would survive. The men were armed with real weapons, and Cayson only had a bat. The outcome could have gone quite differently. Violence had shaken this family too many times.
Why couldn’t we just be left alone?
Dad turned back to me when he picked up on my silence. “Something wrong?”
Nothing I wanted to worry him about. “No.”
Dad must have spotted the lie in my eyes because he said, “What is it, Pumpkin?”
I shook my head. “It’s really nothing.”
“Come on, talk to me.” He placed Cedric on the pillow beside him and rested his hand on his stomach. He examined him before he turned his focus on me.
“I just…I can’t sleep at night. I’m just scared.”
Dad didn’t react or nod. But the sympathy was in his eyes. “It’s okay to be scared, Skye. We all went through a lot.”
“I have nightmares…Cayson always—” I couldn’t finish the sentence. It was too painful. “And Cedric…I would die if something happened to him. I’m afraid someone is going to hurt my family.”
Dad rested his hand on mine and gave me a gentle squeeze. “I understand why you’re scared. But it’ll pass. No one is going to hurt any of us. The Shot brothers are dead and everyone is okay. The nightmare is over.”
“But it’s happened before…it’ll happen again.”
“No, it won’t,” he said firmly. “We’re very careful.”
I felt the warmth of his hand but didn’t feel any better.
“It’ll pass, Skye. Just give it time.”
“I don’t know…”
“Hey.” He grabbed my shoulder and forced me to look at him. “You want to know something about being a Preston?”
“I am a Preston,” I whispered. “I know everything.”
“Maybe there’s still more to learn.”
I waited for his following words.
“Prestons don’t live in fear. Whatever happens, we meet it head on. But we don’t sit around and wait for it to happen. We live our lives and enjoy it to the fullest. If something happens down the road, we’ll conquer it. But don’t waste your happiness in the meantime. That’s no way to live.” He pulled his hand away and turned back to Cedric.
“It’s just hard to shake it off.”
“Understandably. Give it time.”
Dad had been through more than I could begin to understand. He’d been held at gunpoint more than once. He’d been threatened countless times. He’d always died too many times. If he could handle all of that and move on, so could I. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
He looked at me with soft eyes. “You’re too, Skye.”
“You’ve been through so much but you can go on with a smile on your face. I’m having such a hard time…”
“I have your mother to keep me grounded. She does a lot of stuff behind the scenes. And you’ll get through it too, Skye. Once day this will just be a bad memory. Don’t stress about it.”
“I’ll try…” Now that I was a mother everything was different. I constantly worried for my son’s safety. I wanted him to have the life he deserved. It was my duty to protect him and I took it to the greatest extreme.
“Cayson will keep you safe. I have no doubt he will always take care of both of you.” Saying something like that wasn’t easy for my father. He had a hard time letting me go when I became an adult. But now he handed the reigns over to someone else—without restraint.
“I know.”