by E. L. Todd
Arsen’s eyes hardened when he realized he walked into a trap. The longing one his face disappeared and his jaw tensed. His five o’ clock shadow was thick from not shaving that morning, and that made him look more rugged—and more dangerous. “This should be good.” He kept his arms by his sides as the water ran down his body. His cock was still hard but it slowly softened.
I pulled my wet hair off my neck and over one shoulder. Now that we were face-to-face I knew I had to go through with it. “It’s not even a big deal but I knew I had to tell you.”
“I’m liking this less and less.”
“Pike came by the firehouse today.”
The moment I mentioned his name, Arsen’s eyes burned up in flames. His jaw clenched and revenge was etched onto every line of his face. His reaction was exactly what I predicted it to be.
“Let me finish.” I knew rage was about to fly out of his mouth at any moment. “He arranged a meeting with me and the manager of an art distributor. It’s a really big opportunity and I’m going to do it. I know you’re going to be mad but it doesn’t change anything. You should trust me and let it go.”
Arsen was quiet for nearly a moment before he made his attack. “And you think this piece of shit did this out of the goodness of his heart?” If we weren’t in the shower, Abby would definitely be able to hear us. “This motherfucker just wants to get you back. That’s all it is. So no, you aren’t taking his offer. And that’s final.”
There was nothing I hated more than being bossed around. “First of all, he’s not trying to get back together with me. That’s just absurd.”
“Really?” he snapped. “Then why would be bend over backwards to make this happen for you?”
“He didn’t bend over backwards. He just recommended me.”
“Don’t be stupid, Silke. No guy would do that for his ex after she left him for another guy. It doesn’t add up and you know it. It’s romantic gesture, plain and simple.”
“He knows I’m married to you.”
“You’ve cheated on him so who’s to say you won’t cheat on me?”
It was a slap in the face. I could feel his hand collide with my cheek. “Fuck you, Arsen.” The insinuation was the most insulting thing he ever said to me. “I didn’t cheat on him, okay? It just happened—”
“You had feelings for me and we both know it. You dragged him through the mud until you cut him loose. Who says you won’t do the same to me? Maybe you’re bored with me and need some excitement in your life. Maybe you want to be with this mysterious and refined painter—”
I slapped him.
Arsen turned with the heat and closed his eyes, absorbing the shock of what I just did.
“Don’t talk to me like that—ever.” I knew he said everything out of anger but that didn’t make it right. “You know that’s not how it was, Arsen. You were my first love, my first everything. I never stopped loving you and Pike understood how I felt. I feel bad for the way I treated him but I wouldn’t change anything that happened. I’m with you—the man I’m supposed to be with. Knock off this jealous bullshit. I’m sick of hearing about it.”
He slowly turned back to me, the water dripping down his face. “You aren’t taking his offer. He wants you back. I know it. And so do you.”
“He’s just being a good friend.”
“He doesn’t owe you a damn thing. So why is he sticking out his neck for you?”
“Because he believes in my artwork.”
He rolled his eyes. “He just wants to fuck you, Silke. Plain and simple.”
This conversation went far worse than I expected it to—and my expectations were already pretty low. “That’s not true and you know it, Arsen. It’s not impossible that two people can be friends after they break up. It’s not impossible that two people can still respect each other even when their relationship ends. Perhaps you just aren’t mature enough to understand something like that.”
“Tell yourself whatever you want to hear, Silke. But this totally a play to get you back. I know it. He knows it.”
“And what if it is?” I challenged. “It doesn’t matter. I still want this opportunity regardless of the way he feels. So I’m going and that’s the end of the story.”
“No. You. Aren’t.”
“Yes. I. Am.” I stared him down and held my ground, not afraid of act of intimidation. I respected him enough to tell him the truth but that didn’t mean I would let him tell me what to do. “I’m sorry you don’t like it, but it’s going to happen. You may as well just accept it.”
“How would you feel if I was going out with my ex?”
“I’m not going out with him,” I snapped. “He’s introducing me to colleague. Not the same thing and you know it.”
“You still wouldn’t like it, Silke. You get mad at me for being jealous but you’re worse than I am. Remember that teacher who wanted to suck my dick? You flipped out over that.”
“Because she actually wanted you. Pike is just being nice.”
He rolled his eyes.
“And we weren’t married then, Arsen. We’re in a different place now. We’re a team. We’re raising a daughter together, and I have your last name. There’s no reason for us to ever be jealous.”
He stared at the tile between us, his chest still lifting and falling with his heavy breathing.
“I’m going to this dinner even if you disapprove. I’m doing it for my career, not to spend time with Pike. Then I’m going to come home to you. There’s more to the story. I don’t care if you don’t like it. That’s what’s happening.” I wasn’t losing an opportunity like this. If I let it slip away, I’d regret it forever. Even if Pike had feelings for me, which he didn’t, it wouldn’t change anything. I didn’t have feelings for him, and I would always be faithful to Arsen—no matter what.
He crossed his arms over his chest, his face stoic and unreadable.
“Can we move on now?”
“Doesn’t seem like you’re giving me much a choice.” His voice was full of resignation. Perhaps he finally gave up the fight.
“You’re right. I’m not.”
He ran his fingers through his damp hair before he returned it to his side. “You’re right, Silke. I should trust you.”
My eyes widened.
“If you say it’s strictly professional, I trust your judgment. It would be selfish of me to deny you something you want just because I’m overprotective and jealous. I let my own insecurities get the best of me sometimes.”
Wow. I never expected a compromise. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry about the things I said…I was just upset.”
“I know.” My eyes softened when I saw his shoulders relax. The angry beast inside him had finally died away. He was coming back to me, the delicate and sensitive husband I married.
“It’s just dinner and that’s it, right? No reason to see Pike anymore?”
“None.”
That seemed to be enough for him because he nodded. “Alright. I can accept that.”
The argument was finally over—thankfully. “Thank you.”
He titled his chin up and let the warm water run down his face. It cascaded down his chest and through the deep grooves of his abs.
I didn’t want to leave this shower when the tension was still between us. I wanted to put this fight behind us and move on.
“Thanks for telling me. You could have kept it to yourself, and I never would have known about it.”
“I’ll always be honest with you.”
“And I appreciate it.” He closed the gap between us and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me into his chest, my tits pressed against him. One hand glided to my ass and he rested his palm there, his cock growing harder. “We aren’t allowed to leave until we have sex, right?”
“Right.”
He moved his face to mine and slowly brushed his lips against the corner of my mouth. His cock hardened against my stomach as he teased me. His mouth slowly migrated to the center of mine and he fin
ally placed a scorching kiss across my lips.
My core tightened and the heat circled through me. I felt the burn deep in my gut and between my legs. The fact he compromised and gave me what I wanted turned me on. He always went head-to-head with me, but he was man enough to admit when he was wrong.
There was nothing sexier.
He hoisted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. With one hand he inserted his dick inside me, pressing against my entrance until he slid inside me. Our faces were together as he grabbed my thighs and moved me up and down.
I got lost in him and forgot about the fight altogether. I just thought about our bodies moving in sync. He stretched me over and over again like he had a thousand times. He was the first man I ever made love to you.
And he would be my last.
***
I finished my hair and makeup before I walked into the living room. I wore a black dress with matching heels. A pink clutch was in my hand, and I was ready for my dinner with Pike and his contact.
Arsen sat on the living room floor with Abby. They were playing with her blocks while her favorite TV show played in the background. He glanced at me when he heard my heels against the hardwood floor. But his eyes didn’t stay on me for long. He quickly looked away, uncomfortable that I was going through with the dinner.
That was all the support he could show.
“I’ll be home in an hour or so.”
“Okay.” He kept his eyes on Abby.
That was the most I was going to get out of him. “Bye.”
“Bye.” He didn’t tell me he loved me because he was too angry. He tried to hide his jealousy and irritation but it was futile. His disappointment was palpable.
I walked to the front door and got the door opened.
“Beauty.”
I turned around.
His face was still directed to the blocks. “I love you.”
The corners of my lips rose in a smile. “I love you too, Beast.”
***
I arrived at the restaurant and saw Pike standing at the sidewalk. He wore slacks and a collared shirt that was tucked into his belt. A black watch was on his wrist and his hair was done with precision. He watched the people pass until his eyes landed on me. He discreetly looked me over, examining my dress as well as the jewelry I wore.
“Hi.” I closed the gap between us but didn’t touch him. It seemed okay to greet him with a hug but I felt uncomfortable touching him. Arsen was already upset about the dinner as it was. It was best to keep my hands to myself.
“Hey.” He eyed the way my hair fell around my face. “You look lovely.”
“Thanks.” I didn’t compliment his appearance. That was another awkward thing to do. “Where’s…what’s his name?”
“Lars,” Pike answered. “He’s not here yet. Let’s get a table so we can have a drink while we wait.”
“Sounds good.” I could use some wine.
We sat at a table near the wall. Candles were lit and a basket of bread was immediately brought the second we sat down. I ordered a glass of wine and Pike did the same. He preferred red wine and I preferred white. Somethings never changed.
Pike eyed the door before he turned his attention back on me. “How was your day?”
“Good. Yours?”
“I finished a painting I’d been working on for over a month. But even though it’s done it doesn’t feel right. It’s a piece I just can’t get right.”
I understood the feeling. Sometimes I wanted to add more but it would just make sculpture congested. “I understand your meaning.”
“How’s your family?”
“Good. Arsen is a home with Abby.”
“Sorry, I meant your parents and your brother.”
“Oh…” I felt stupid for not understanding his meaning. “They’re good. My brother is about to have a baby. He’s excited…and terrified.”
“Good for him. He’s a nice guy.”
“Yeah.” When he wasn’t being a shithead. “How’s your mom?”
“She’s good. She’s starting see this guy. I think I like him.”
“Good for her.” It was weird to sit across from each other in a restaurant and talk about each other’s friends and families. It was like the dates we used to have. The intimacy was becoming worse with every passing minute. I felt guilty being there with every passing second. I hoped Lars would be there soon.
Pike sipped his wine before he studied me. “You look beautiful tonight.”
The comment immediately made me uncomfortable. He already complimented me earlier. It wasn’t necessary to do it twice, and with such a profound word. “Thanks…”
He stared at me with an intense gaze, never blinking and just staring. It was the same look he used to give me years ago.
Would Lars be there soon?
“Silke, there’s something I need to tell you.”
My blood ran ice-cold. I didn’t like hearing those words. And I didn’t like the ones that would quickly follow.
“I’ve spent the last few years trying to find someone to share my life with. But every girl I meet never seems to fit. They lack whatever it is that I need in my life. They lack whatever it is you possess.”
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. This wasn’t real.
“I know you’re married. And Arsen seems like a nice guy. But…do you ever think about me?”
Stunned by the question, I just stared.
He leaned over the table with his elbows resting on the surface. He patiently waited for an answer.
“No.” I hated to be harsh but I needed him to back off. I wasn’t just married but happily married. Guilt ripped through me like a double-sided blade. Arsen didn’t want me to come tonight. And he’d been right all along. “Lars isn’t coming, is he?”
Pike hid his pain from my rejection. “He is. But I asked him to meet us half an hour later.”
I walked right into the trap. “Pike, friends don’t do this to each other.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I just had to ask. I’m sorry if I offended you. I’ve just had a hard time moving on. I guess you were the love of my life but I was never yours.”
Now I felt like shit. “I thought you were considering moving to Paris.”
“I was. But something kept me here.” The look in his eyes implied exactly what that was.
“Pike, I’m in love with Arsen. I’m not just married to him. I’m happily married.” I hated to hurt him but I had to do it.
“I understand, Silke,” he said gently. “I just…I think we’re really great together. We’re both artistic and thoughtful. We both see the world in the same shades of color. We just…click.”
“Arsen and I click too.”
He leaned back into his chair. “Of course you do.”
“I’m sorry, Pike. I wish…I wished we’d never dated to begin with. I hate how much I hurt you.”
“Don’t say that,” he whispered. “I would never wish something like that. Those months were some of the most beautiful ones I’ve ever experienced. They inspired so many of my paintings. I never regret the past, just that it’s over.”
Not knowing what to say, I just sat there.
Pike looked out the window and watched people pass on the sidewalk. He was quiet for several minutes before he spoke. “Please forgive me for this evening. I just had to say something otherwise I would always regret it.”
“Of course. Water under the bridge. I just hope you didn’t offer to make me this introduction in exchange for something.”
“Of course not,” he said quickly. “I think you’re truly talented, Silke. I’ve always thought that.” He grabbed his wine and took a small drink. “Now that I’ve made an idiot of myself, let’s change the subject.”
There was nothing I wanted more. “Okay.”
***
I walked into the house and saw Arsen sitting on the couch. He watched TV in silence, a glass of water on the table beside him. Abby was nowhere in sight, so she was pr
obably off to bed.
He didn’t look at me when I walked inside. “How’d it go?”
“Good. He’s displaying a lot of my pieces in commercial markets.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” His ankle rested on the opposite knee and his arm was over the back of the couch. He wore a black t-shirt and pajama bottoms.
I set my clutch on the counter then sat beside him on the couch. I undid the straps of my heels and slipped off the shoes. They were killing my feet even though I took a cab there and back. “I owe you an apology.”
He turned to me, his blue eyes searching my face for an answer to a question he never asked.
“Before the guy got there, Pike made a pass at me.”
Arsen’s face didn’t change. Whatever he felt was bottled deep inside. He didn’t explode because Abby was just down the hall. She’d heard us fight enough times when Arsen lost his mother. He refused to go down that road and make her scared.
“He said he hadn’t been able to move on and asked if I still thought about him.”
Arsen clenched his jaw.
“I told him I was happily married and that would never change.”
Those words didn’t dull his silent anger. “Did he touch you?”
“Not once.” There was no hug goodbye. There wasn’t even a handshake. “And I’m sorry, Arsen. I should have listened to you.” I felt guiltier than I've ever had in my life.
He watched my lips move before he looked me in the eye. “Beauty, you don’t owe me an apology.”
I didn’t?
“I trust you so it doesn’t matter what he said. It doesn’t matter what he wants. You married me because you love me and want to spend the rest of your life with me. It’s unrealistic for me to get angry every time a man looks at you. You’re the most beautiful in the world, Silke. Heads turns everywhere you go. I need to make my peace with it.”
I expected another blow out like we had earlier in the week. I didn’t expect this kind of reaction. He took the news calmly, full of understanding.
“As long as he didn’t touch you, I have no reason to be angry.”
“I’m still sorry all the same.”