by Atul Todi
Sitting alone she would drink, cry and read Bugsy’s novel.
Immediately Khushi knew that there had to be a connection. The coincidence was good enough for her to be convinced: Bugsy, the novelist, was the same guy her mother loved.
Reading about Bugsy and his novels, she could not relate with the tragic romance he wrote in his books. They seemed absurd, but Khushi assumed that he was writing for her mother. It was his way of asking her to forgive him about something tragic that he had done.
Trying to track him down, she looked up everything about him, but there was nothing. The writer had been elusive, and no one knew about him. The world of literature and millions of fans were looking out for him. They all wanted to know more about who he was and what inspired him to write.
Reading through some of his novels, Khushi was convinced that Bugsy was the same person her mother loved. She could see her mother described in all the novels.
Browsing through all his books, Khushi became another obsessed reader who wanted to solve the mystery around Bugsy. She looked for clues, in the convoluted stories. She spent hours analyzing his novels and she had a good reason for it: Bugsy could be her father and the only man her mother seemed to have loved.
From the Facebook messages, it was apparent that Abhay and Tia never got married. Khushi knew that by the time she was born, Abhay had already left for India, and there was slim possibility of his being her dad. Still, she was hopeful; maybe there was something she was missing out on in the story. Just maybe, he came back and met up with her mother. The possibility looked plausible to her because she did not know of any other man in her mother's life.
Hopeful that finding Bugsy would help her solve the mystery, she also wanted to find out if Bugsy still loved her mom. She wanted to get to the bottom of their incomplete story before her mother married a guy she did not love.
Khushi knew that it was upon her to make the two long-lost lovers meet again. If not for nothing else, she wanted to do it to bring back the smile on her mother's face that had been missing for years; the same smile she saw in the pictures with Abhay.
In search of clues to find out his whereabouts, Khushi approached the publisher of Bugsy’s novel. Tracking them down, she landed up at Wordhouse Publications office in Los Angeles, California.
The publishing company was under strict legal obligations to not let out any information. They tried to convince her to give up on her search and told her that even they were looking for the writer, but did not know who it was. All of Bugsy's books were published via a secret channel over which they had no control.
That's when Khushi met me, Shekhar Singh, CEO of the company responsible for publishing all of Bugsy's books. Hearing the story about Abhay being her father made me melt; I wanted to help her. In fact, I was a friend of Abhay's since college days and had personally known Tia. However, I too did not know where Abhay was.
We had not met for over eight years, not since I published Abhay's first book. Almost every year, around the month of May, Abhay sent a sealed envelope with a draft of his finished novel along with a note regarding the book. I had complete authority over getting the book edited and having it published. If there ever was a problem or a question, Abhay called my phone from a private number. He never gave out any of his details and wanted to stay anonymous.
I did not know where Khushi could find Abhay. Khushi was disappointed as I was her last resort. Time was running out, and Tia's marriage was coming closer.
Before leaving from my office that evening, I told her that I was sure about one thing: Abhay lived somewhere in India. I knew that because all the royalty payment for the books sold, was sent to a secret bank account that routed the money to Tamil Nadu, a state in South India.
I hoped that the little piece of information I had could someone help Khushi narrow down her search and head in the right direction. I also told Khushi that her best bet to find Abhay was Jolly, Abhay's best friend from college. While Jolly too did not know where Abhay was, he was getting married in a few months and there was a high chance that if Abhay found out about the wedding, he might show up.
Giving her Jolly's phone number, I told her to keep in touch with me in case she found any information about Abhay or needed any help. I too was keen to know the true love story of my most popular and profitable writer, Bugsy.
Khushi had seen some pictures of Jolly with Tia and Abhay while going over her mother’s Facebook profile. Taking her chance, Khushi called Jolly and told him that she was Tia's daughter, and she needed his help in finding Abhay.
Jolly flew down to San Francisco from Chicago the next day. While he knew who Khushi really was, he did not have the heart to tell her the truth: she was not Tia’s daughter and Abhay was not her father.
Once he heard Khushi’s part of the story and what she had found out, he could not believe that Abhay was Bugsy the writer. In order to convince him, Khushi showed him the private messages between Abhay and Tia where her mother called him Bugsy. Also, Khushi told him that she got Jolly’s contact from Shekhar, the publisher for Bugsy's books, and he confirmed that Abhay was indeed Bugsy.
Jolly was in disbelief. He didn't think Abhay would have ever become a writer. But once he went over Bugsy's first novel – ‘Love in Paradise', he was convinced that it was indeed Abhay. The way Bugsy described the girl in the novel, he was clearly talking about Tia.
Besides everything, Jolly was happy to just know that his friend was alive. Thanking Khushi for the revelation, he decided to help her in every possible way in her mission.
Jolly continued to tell Abhay the whole story and how they found him.
Khushi's plan to invite Abhay for the wedding did not seem too promising: they did not have an address to post the invite. Giving it a shot, they sent the wedding invite to Abhay's parents. While, Abhay's parents claimed to have not seen or heard from him for years, Jolly requested them to forward it to Abhay, if they by any chance knew where he was.
Waiting for a response from Abhay, they searched all sources in Tamil Nadu for him. They checked with the police department and banks, but found nothing. Khushi and Jolly looked through phone directories for a mention of his name. They found many Abhay Bakshi, but none of them were the guy they were looking for.
Finally, just a month before the wedding, Jolly, along with Khushi, personally went to meet Abhay's family in Ludhiana. Khushi told them that she was Tia's daughter and Abhay could possibly be her father. Jolly played along with Khushi’s story and convinced Abhay’s parents about it.
Jolly believed in his heart that Abhay was alive and his parents knew about it. He requested them to resend his wedding invite to Abhay with a note from him.
Abhay's parents knew about Tia and how much their son loved her. Left in tears to see Khushi and the slim possibility of her being their grandchild, they broke down. They too missed their son and wanted him to come back home.
They told Jolly that their son was out there somewhere in the wild, disconnected from the world. They promised to help in every possible way, but did not think Abhay would come for the wedding.
Jolly did not have much hope, but Khushi was sure that Abhay would come for his best friend’s wedding. On her request he got media companies to write about his upcoming wedding; he got the story covered in newspapers and television.
Khushi hoped that even if Abhay did not get the wedding invite, he would at least know about the event from media sources.
The plan worked, and their message reached Abhay.
Jolly gave Abhay a hug, telling him that he was very sorry for not telling him about Khushi and Tia before. He told Abhay that he was just helping Khushi, who wanted to find out if Abhay was her dad and if he still loved Tia.
Disappearing from the vineyard in the middle of the night was also part of Khushi’s plan to make Tia and Abhay meet again. She intentionally left the plantation with Jolly's help to make Tia come looking for her.
Even after she found that Abhay was not her father, she w
as convinced that he still loved her mother and was the only one capable of making her happy. So she did what was needed to bring them both together: reconnect and meet each other.
Not able to control his emotions, Jolly said, "Go get her bro; don't let her go again. She loved you back then, and she loves you still. Like all of us, she too looked for you for a very long time, but you were nowhere. She knew you were out there trying to find yourself, and she waited; she always hoped that you would come back to her. She might have given up on you, but she has always wanted you to be happy. Don't let her go."
"Jolly how can I? It's too late; I am sure she hates me for what I have done to her. She didn't even want to talk to me. You saw that right? And now she is engaged to Rajiv; maybe he is the right guy for her. Look at me; I am hopeless."
"Don't be stupid this time Abhay. You are making the same mistake again. Rajiv means nothing to her. Life is giving you a second chance and this time you have no excuse. You already left her once; you can't let her go again. She has waited for you for way too long."
Abhay insisted that Tia was happier without him; they both had changed over the years, and things weren't the same.
"Can’t you see it for yourself: You can only be happy with her. Have you not read any of your own books? They are all about loving her. And, for once forget about yourself. She waited all this while because she knew you were out there somewhere."
Abhay was lost for words; he did not know why he had been writing for all those years. He wondered if it was just to let Tia know that he was out there, waiting for her. Maybe he wanted her to know that he was sorry.
Drinking with Abhay, Jolly tried to convince him. But he was adamant that everything had changed. He saw the intense anger in Tia's eye earlier in the day, when she saw him after fourteen years. There was no love for him in them.
Telling Jolly to stop trying to convince him, Abhay said, "I love Anna now, and I am going to marry her Jolly. It's best if Tia marries Rajiv. It's too late for both of us; there is no way we can be together. We were in love back in college. She probably doesn't love me anymore, at least not the person I am now. We both have grown and changed as individuals. Can't you see it? Do I look anything like the guy back in college? She won't even recognize the guy I have become. So it's best for both of us to just go our ways."
Jolly could not believe what Abhay was saying. He was sure that the spark between Tia and him was still alive; Abhay had to try. They were meant for each other.
He pleaded in vain; Abhay was stubborn.
"Be practical Jolly, it's been more than a decade since we broke up; she probably hates me for what I did. I don't think I have the courage to face her again."
Abhay continued to give reasons for running away from accepting the fact that he never stopped loving Tia. He had become complacent and gotten accustomed to being miserable in love. He was just not willing to try.
Reasoning with him, Jolly tried. He said, "Broke up? When did that happen? All I remember is that you disappeared, and she kept waiting. She deserves better; she deserves your love. You have made her wait too long. Don't screw up again. Life is giving you another chance. Go grab it."
Taking some time, finally he said, "I don't think I love her anymore Jolly; it's been over for a long time."
"If you don't love her, why do you still write about her? Can't you see it, you never stopped loving her, and she never stopped loving you. You still have time, go take her in your arms and tell her how you feel. She will forgive you and forget the last fourteen years."
"I can't make the same mistake again Jolly. I left someone who loved me once, can't do it twice. Anna loves me for who I am now. She understands me and accepts me just the way I am. I am going to marry her."
"You can't do that my friend; you would be cheating on Anna. She is in love with Abhay, not Bugsy. And Bugsy cannot love anyone else."
CHAPTER 13: REVELATION
Abhay had decided to marry Anna; he was not changing his mind. He justified his action by saying that he did not want to break Anna’s heart, but in reality, he was too scared to face Tia again. He was scared of finding out that she did not love him anymore.
On the other hand, Tia too was going ahead with tying the knot with Rajiv. She had no reason to step back; she was adamant. She had waited too long, and Abhay did not exist for her anymore. Her pent-up anger did not allow her to accept that she still loved him.
Sophie, who had become part of Khushi’s plot, after finding out about the whole story and the truth behind Bugsy, tried her level best to convince Tia.
They were both being foolish, finding excuses for ignoring how they felt inside. Giving up on convincing Abhay, Jolly went off to San Francisco to attend Tia’s marriage.
Anna was surprised by the new revelation; she never thought that a hardened guy like Abhay could be a romantic writer. She was not too happy about Abhay hiding a secret that big from her; yet, she was willing to go ahead with the marriage.
With a day left for Tia's wedding, Abhay found Khushi's pink notebook that she had left behind in her room. Missing having her around, he flipped through the doodles she had made.
Looking at each page, he cried. He had seen some of the pages before but never browsed through all of it. Going over each sketch, he realised that she had been doodling the story right from when she started looking for him.
There were doodles of her and Tia happily dancing in the rain. Then there was a doodle of a monster-looking Rajiv who appeared from nowhere; he came to steal her mother away. Khushi did not like him much.
Khushi had sketched out the whole story, scene by scene. She had even pictured Abhay and Tia together in the end.
Looking through the doodles over and over again, he stumbled upon one that made him smile. Depicting one of their visits to the lake, Khushi had doodled herself, Abhay, his horse, a little boat and also a beautiful lady who clearly resembled Tia. Khushi was holding onto some balloons while Abhay and Tia were making a wine toast. At the bottom, she had scribbled: My happy little family.
Browsing through those doodles Abhay knew what he wanted from life. He had been chasing the wrong thing for way too long. The chase had to end, he could not run away from his emotions and stay in denial forever. He realised that happiness was not as complicated as he had made it to be. It was quite simple; it was all about the small moments of happiness in life.
Life was giving him another chance. It had brought him right back to where he had left off: Tia was engaged, but not married yet. It was in his hand to grab the opportunity and choose to be truly happy. He had to do the right thing for once.
Tucking the notebook inside his jacket, with a lot of courage, he called Tia. She did not pick up her phone. He tried her number multiple times, but there was no response. He only reached her voice-box, just like he did on the day when he was going to jump off the train.
This time he planned to not run away from his situation. Fourteen years of suffering was enough to teach him to not make the mistake again.
He had no option left but to get to San Francisco and stop Tia's wedding. He was not going to let her go, even if he had to beg her for forgiveness. She was his and no one in the world could take her away; at least not before he tried.
Taking a direct flight from Chennai, he reached San Francisco the next day. For eighteen hours on the flight, he visualised what he would do when he met Tia again and how he would beg her to give him another chance.
Not sure how to face Tia and with only a few hours left for the wedding, he had a plan in mind. He called Shekhar, his publisher, and asked him to arrange for a live telecast: Bugsy the mysterious writer was going to reveal his identity.
All arrangements were made at CBS studio within hours; Abhay was going to come on live television across all news channels and confess his love for Tia. It was his only chance.
Jolly informed Khushi about the telecast, and she made sure Tia was near a television when Abhay went on stream.
Finally, it happe
ned, Bugsy revealed himself and the muse in all his novels.
I let you go once; I can't make the same mistake twice.
All this while, I tried stopping myself from loving you, but my feelings have only gotten stronger. For the last fourteen years I have been trying to hate you, but I just could not find a single reason for it. There was just every reason to want to wake up to your smile.
Since the time I let you go, I have been sulking in my misery. I have been writing with just one hope that my words would somehow reach you. In all my books, I have imagined loving you in every possible way and through my books I wanted you to know that I still loved you wherever you were. At least, if nothing else, I hoped that you would know my love for you was real, and I meant everything I ever said.
I don't know if you would ever forgive me for disappearing on you, but this time I am not going anywhere. I am here for good, and I am here to stay with you if you would just give me a chance.