After all, putting bad people to good use was a specialty of hers.
Chapter 38
LUCA SAT ON a couch in a suite of the One & Only Hotel in Cape Town. His face was illuminated by the dull glow of a computer screen as he booked plane tickets. Behind him the first of the morning sun filtered over the towering edifice of Table Mountain and shone through a gap in the curtains. It reached all the way across the plush carpets to where a double bed had been positioned against the far wall. There, curled up together on one side, lay Bear with her son, Nathan.
They were both asleep, with Bear’s arms looped around her son, hugging him tight into her chest. It left only the top of his curly brown head visible above the sheets, which rose and fell with his steady breathing. There was a low murmur and Luca looked up to see Bear move in her sleep, legs breaking free from the covers and spreading out across the empty bed behind her. For a moment he let his gaze trace the line of her hips and back, marvelling at how beautiful she looked, even now after all that had happened.
Easing himself off the couch, he was about to go into the adjacent room for a shower when he heard her voice behind him.
‘Still haven’t slept?’ she whispered.
‘No, but I thought you were.’
‘I was,’ Bear sighed, before stretching and gently uncoupling herself from her son. Pulling a dressing gown over her shoulders, she followed Luca out of the room and closed the connecting door. She then perched on the edge of the writing desk as Luca peeled off his T-shirt and turned on the shower. Frown lines deepened across Bear’s forehead as she took in the angry purple bruising that covered the entire left side of his abdomen. Luca seemed to have lost even more weight than she remembered. Now, his triangular frame was nothing but a knot of sinewy muscle.
Just as he stepped towards the shower, Bear took hold of his hand and pulled him close. She kissed him, keeping his body pressed against hers with her legs slowly curling around his waist. She had never intended it to be anything more than a kiss, but as their bodies stayed locked together their passion grew. Bear hesitated, knowing how painful it would be to make love after all that had happened at the farm, but by the same token, she felt a physical need for Luca right then.
Wriggling her shoulders, she let the dressing gown fall to her waist. Her head tilted to one side as Luca kissed along the line of her neck, with his right hand gently curling into her hair. They made love. It was slow and unhurried, filled with a sense of longing that was tinged with regret. By the time they had finished, Bear found herself clinging on to Luca’s shoulders. It was only when he pulled back from her that he realised she was crying.
The physical release had been like a catalyst. For so long, Bear had been forced to hold it all together and bury her feelings deep. Now that she was finally with Luca, it all came flooding out. Her emotions were raw and unchecked, filled with a sadness that seemed to tremble right through her, until all he could do was hold her tight.
As he embraced her, a memory began to resurface in Luca’s mind. It was of his time at the old Soviet base in Antarctica.
‘When we spoke on the satellite phone you said you had something to tell me, but you wanted to do it face to face.’
Bear gave a tight smile, then sniffed, wiping away the streaks of tears with the back of her hand. She had already decided that this was a pain she was not going to share with Luca. The miscarriage was something she had to deal with alone. Only once she had processed it herself could she contemplate sharing it with him. To tell him right now that their unborn child had been lost would only fill her with a sadness that she knew she couldn’t contain. Maybe with time, she told herself. Maybe then she might tell him the truth.
‘I was going to tell you that I wanted us to be together again,’ she replied, voice steady once more. ‘That I regretted us ever having broken up.’
Luca stared deep into her eyes, unsure if she was telling him the whole truth.
‘That’s all you wanted to say?’
Bear nodded. ‘Isn’t that enough?’
Luca remained still for a moment, looking at her, before a smile appeared on his lips. He knew not to push her for another answer right then.
‘It is enough. And now we are together,’ he said, before his eyes flickered towards the neighbouring room. ‘All of us, I mean.’
Bear’s smile widened, her nose wrinkling slightly as she followed the direction of Luca’s gaze. The thought of them being together as a family was something that immediately helped dispel the darkness. It was the promise of a future that was positive and filled with potential.
‘But how did you convince your ex-husband to let you have Nathan?’ Luca asked.
‘I went to see him and we ended up speaking for a long time.’ Bear shook her head. ‘Christ, those lawyers love to twist everything around and keep you fighting. Anyway, we both agreed on one thing, and that was we should do whatever was right for Nathan and that I still had a right to be in his life.’ She paused, weighing up the conversation in its entirety. ‘It’s not like Jamie’s giving me full custody or anything, but I think we can come to an agreement about visiting rights and start putting together some kind of structure.’
‘Structure would be good. I could do with a bit of that myself after all that’s happened.’
Bear nodded her agreement, then seemed to drift into silence.
‘What is it?’ Luca asked.
‘Do you think the Americans will ever let us go?’ she asked. ‘I know what Bates said, but we can’t keep running indefinitely. I just won’t live like that.’
Luca sighed, the same concerns having plagued him for most of the night.
‘The flashcard is in the open and all the information in the public domain. The bottom line is that we don’t have anything the Americans want, so why would they still come after us? They’re not about revenge. With them it’s about what happens next. As far as I can see, we’re old news.’
‘So that’s it?’
He shrugged. ‘Who knows? Nothing’s ever certain. But to my mind, it wouldn’t make any sense for them to come after us.’
After a moment’s deliberation, Bear nodded. Perhaps he was right. Besides, if she spent her entire life second-guessing the Americans, all she would do was plague herself with paranoia. Better to let them make the first move, if indeed there was one to be made.
Moving off the desk, Bear went to the wardrobe while behind her Luca finally stepped into the shower. For the longest time he let the water run over his back and shoulders, still revelling in life’s small luxuries after the deprivations of Antarctica. He started scrubbing his whole body clean with such determination that it was as if he were trying to rid himself of all the memories from the last few weeks.
Walking back into the main room with a towel around his waist, Luca found Bear sitting by the desk and staring into a mirror while she tied back her hair. She was about to say something when she suddenly noticed a brass cigarette lighter lying to one side. It looked old and well thumbed, with the metal slightly warped from age.
‘Whose is that?’ she asked, picking it up and turning it over in her hand.
Luca came up behind her. ‘I’ve got to give it to someone.’
‘Someone?’ Bear asked, wondering why he was being so cryptic.
Luca nodded. ‘I owe him that at least,’ he said, gently taking Dedov’s lighter from her grasp. ‘I’ll tell you all about it on the way.’
Turning back from the mirror, he started getting dressed. Their flight to San Diego was due to leave in three hours’ time.
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First published in Great Britain in 2015 by Arrow
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Beneath the Ice Page 36